Our Little Missionary Experience

Dear Guy Who Sat Next To Us On The Airplane to Orlando,

Thank you for making our third flight that day more entertaining than it otherwise would have been, particularly because we were on an old plane with no wifi which meant entertaining ourselves the old-fashioned way.

We enjoyed hearing about Kansas which was a state we knew nothing about and about your cute grandkids which you showed us several adorable pictures of on your tablet. They had sweet curly blonde locks like our nephew Maddox, which we told you.

Thank you also for complimenting our daughter's behavior--that made us feel really good (even though we did nothing to teach her how to behave her then four-and-a-half month old self on an eight-hour trip).

We really did enjoy talking to you even when you made a few beer references that we (well at least I) didn't understand. Everything was great, even when you mentioned Margaritaville and said, "You guys like margaritas, don't you?" I then told you that we actually don't drink alcohol but we like drinks that are similar to margaritas. You seemed surprised but continued to talk to us.

When you learned we were from Utah, you asked if we were Mormons and we told you we were. Your next comment was, "That show 'Sister Wives' must be giving you guys a hard time." Your wife sitting in the row in front of us reached behind her seat and gave you a smack along with a look that clearly told you to drop it, causing you to smile sheepishly.

I almost burst out laughing right then but I didn't want to embarrass you so hiding a smile I responded, "Actually that show is not about our church. We don't believe in that at all." You said, "Oh," then I explained further. "That's actually a branch that broke away from our church." Then I added, "Trust me, our church doesn't support that at all."

You nodded then we changed the subject, and for the remainder of the trip we had a nice time talking about our individual plans in Florida. We only brought up subjects like going to BYU and other beliefs in passing. But I hoped in my heart that our brief discussion about the church would stay with you, and that because of it you would someday open your heart to hearing a little more about the gospel.

Since our trip, I've wondered about you a few times, mainly wondering if you met an LDS missionary whether you'd be more interested about our church because of the example we set. If we had gotten your name, I might have looked you up at Kansas State University where you teach and sent the missionaries your way (don't worry though--I didn't have your name so I couldn't).

Anyway, thank you for being friendly and talking to us and also allowing us to have that little missionary experience. It reminded me of why I love living in the world (but not of the world) so much. I am so looking forward to having more of those experiences wherever we end up after BYU because I know the joy the gospel brings me and want to share it with everyone.

So thank you for that. And I hope you had a marvelous Christmas with your family in Florida.

Sincerely,

Olivia Gunnell

P.S. And thank you for being so personable! I always appreciate that quality in others.

Why I Don't Post Daily

There are a lot of excuses I could give for why I don't write on here daily. Most of them, you could predict. But besides being a busy stay-at-home mom and student, the main reason I don't (and quite frankly, can't) post every day is because I don't want to. I love blogging--really I do. It makes me happy in a way only one who enjoys writing can understand. But I do not like being so connected all the time. (Remember that post I shared a month or two ago with some random things about me? Getting off the grid, or at least wanting to, was on there.)

Let's get one thing straight: Technology is great. I'm so thankful I can be in touch with my parents and brothers and husband and in-laws throughout the days and weeks. But technology is also numbing. You don't have to agree with me, and sometimes I feel like a hypocrite arguing this particular sentiment, but I usually don't feel...what's the word...happy, after being on the computer for hours. When I go on Pinterest and somehow end up staying there for three hours, I feel a little bit sick to my stomach when I think of all the time I wasted pinning amazing ideas to make my home and family and life better. Because pinning isn't doing (though the English language would technically disagree with me). Going on Facebook is another big time waster that I am completely guilty of. Do I really need to read about every detail of everyone's life from their status updates? Nope. I don't. I didn't do it when I was a young teenager, and I don't think I was any less happy back then. Same with email (ha ha, you're thinking, who uses email still?). I hardly go on mine except to erase the dozens of spam messages I receive, but I don't need to waste so much time going through junk.

How is that a waste of time--connecting with family and friends? you may be wondering. Well, everything in moderation, and like any addiction, somehow Facebook and Pinterest and Instagram and Twitter (for some people) have the ability to draw people in and hold their attention for much longer than they intended.

Why is everyone so interested and--dare I say--obsessed with other people's lives? Isn't comparison and judgement what we as Christians are supposed to avoid? We should be seeking after things that are VIRTUOUS, LOVELY, OF GOOD REPORT, and PRAISEWORTHY. We should be working a little harder to grow closer to Christ. We should have sympathy and charity in our hearts. We should be loving those around us to the very best of our abilities.

Boredom is simply no excuse. There are a million other BETTER or BEST things you can choose to do than go on the internet. Read a book. Read your scriptures. Paint. Learn to paint. Visit a friend. Have a friend over. Make cookies for someone. Make a special meal for your husband. Learn to cook. Go grocery shopping. Do laundry. Clean the house/apartment. Play a game with your husband, roommates, children. Write a letter to someone. Do a random act of kindness. Write in your journal. Watch a good movie. Listen to Christmas music. Decorate your house/apartment. Call a friend. Look for coupons and use them. Gather recipes. Make a list. Exercise. Try something new. Do a craft. Learn a craft. Share a craft. Take some photos of your family. Reorganize a desk or room. Learn something new!

That was like 30 things right there off the top of my head. Whatever you choose to do, do it with all your heart. Don't be half-hearted. Be confident and give your best effort!

Most of all, I do not want to be so connected or attached to the Internet because it greatly takes away from the time I have to spend loving and enjoying and teaching my daughter. I can tell you, taking breaks are good and necessary. But there is a significant difference between checking a message and surfing the web for hours. My daughter is little and so precious to me. I may not always be patient with her, but I always want to make sure I enjoy her littleness before it's gone. This is the only time in all eternity that I will have to enjoy it. Some moms can't wait for their kids to grow up. Sometimes I can't wait until Tenley is old enough to play with and bring places and do all kinds of things. But more than that, I want to "let [her] be little" while she has the chance.

The Internet is not always a bad thing. But too much of a good thing is not so good. And as Christians, we should always be choosing not just better things, but the BEST things.

I encourage you to go do some good in the world today! (Or, if it's too late, tomorrow). To steal a line from a favorite Church hymn, "Wake up and doing something more!" You'll be happier for it, I know it. Unplug for a few hours and connect to what really matters--real individuals.

What are some other ways we can do some good in the world?
How and when do you like to unplug from the cyber world?

10 People Who Have Influenced Me

I decided not to put these in any specific order. I've been influenced by many other wonderful people, but these were the first that came to mind.

1. Tenley. I thought I was perfectly happy before we had her. I had no idea. I wouldn't know the joys of motherhood if it weren't for her. She motivates me to be the best I can be. She deserves to have a mother like that. I want to be her friend, her comforter, her advocate, and her teacher. As I see her perfection, she brings me closer to Christ.

2. Dalin. We're so alike. I love him with all my heart. He teaches by example. He is always quick to forgive me. He encourages me to be my best self. He makes me happy. Every minute I have with him is precious. He has taught me that it's okay to disagree on things. He keeps his feisty wife calm. He supports me always. I know he is on my side. I'm so thankful our marriage is forever.

3. Grandpa French. Losing my grandfather was one of the hardest things I've gone through. I actually cried more when my great grandmother passed away, but I think that's because I still have yet for his death to sink in. I wasn't in New Hampshire when he was rapidly deteriorating from liver cancer. And since I had seen him so little the past three years because of school, it still feels like he is home in New Hampshire. Making breakfast, and fishing, and taking pictures like always. My grandpa is an incredible example of so many things. You'll have to read this if you really want to understand why.

4. Dad. I love my dad. He is generous and caring and so much fun. He loves making his children laugh. He is very loyal and has strong values. He is the very best Home Teacher. I don't know if he's ever missed a month. His example of this tells me that he is obedient and willing to help others. He is an amazing example of service. I love that he cares for the elderly and is always happy to go out of his way to help family, friends, neighbors, and even those he doesn't know. I hope to be like him in many respects but particularly his example of service to others. Read more about my awesome dad here.

5. Mom. My mom does so much for me (huge understatement). She is incredibly giving. Like my dad, she can't help but give all that she has to her children. She is as loving and comforting as a mom can be. She is always the first person I want when I am hurt or sick. She has taught me what a joy being a mother can be and makes me want to be the best at it. Apart from that, she is talented and so creative and she has passed those genes off to me. She has helped me to love cooking. She is the best organizer I know. She sets a great example of obedience to the principles of the gospel. Her happiness and positivity is infectious and rubs off on others. I'm so thankful for her.

6. Nana French. She is so wonderful. She has taught me to love cooking. She is so nurturing and cheerful. She is understanding and always has advice to give. She loves her family. She dedicates so much time to her children and grandchildren. She stands for what she believes in and is not afraid to speak her mind. She is brave and tough and I hope I can always be like that, too.

7. Whitney. I always wanted to be like my cousin Whitney growing up. She is one of the most Christ-like people that I know. She loves serving others. She is kind, sweet, and womanly. She is confident in herself. She is honest and true to her faith. She is the epitome of a righteous woman and is going to make the most amazing and dedicated wife and mother. She is a light to others. She lives her life with patience and humility. I want to be that way.

8. Sarah. Sarah is one of my two very best friends (besides Dalin and Tenley). She is one of the happiest and most positive people I know. She brings so much joy to everyone around her and everyone loves her because of her happiness and sense of humor. She always strives to do the right thing and is courageous in her willingness to stand for truth and righteousness. She is fun to be around and she shares her joy with everyone. I want to spread that same happiness to everyone.

9. Megan. One of the most caring and sensitive people out there. She is extremely intelligent but still so humble. She is the best listener I know. She is thoughtful and kind to everyone. She is creative and talented at many things. She takes care of herself. She has so many friends because she makes a wonderful one. She is understanding and as sweet as can be. I want to have as patient and mild a temperament as she does. She is a true friend to those around her.

10. Jesus Christ. My Savior, Redeemer, Friend, and Advocate. He has done so much for me and is the primary reason I have so my joy in this life. He is real. He lives. He is our Brother and He loves every one of us, even in our imperfection. He died for us and I know we can live with Him again if we try, try, try our best to be like Him. I want to be like Him.

Who has been the greatest influence in your life and why?

5 Things That Make Me Most Happy Now

A lot of things make me quite happy right now!

1. Dalin. I have a wonderful husband whom I love very, very much. I loved talking to him on the phone tonight (he has a grave shift) about all kinds of things (the Masterpiece Classic movies I've been watching, what I've been doing with Tenley, how much I miss him) just like we were dating again. I feel as much in love with him as ever and even more so now. Even though we have both grown (though not height-wise in my case) and changed in several ways, we did so together. We've been molded into adults and parents together and have forever to continue to do so.

2. Tenley. Everything about her. It is impossible to imagine loving another human being so much as your own child until you have one. I know this from experience. I always knew I'd love my children, but there is no feeling like holding your own baby in your arms. Just knowing that Tenley is mine forever and that she is a part of Dalin and me fills me with joy. I cannot even comprehend how she came from me still--it's too miraculous. Life is a miracle.

3. The gospel of Jesus Christ. I love being a Latter-day Saint (aka Mormon). Just knowing that I can be with my sweet little family forever is such a comfort to me. Death is not the end! I can have joy in my family for eternity. I am so grateful to our loving Father in heaven for making this a possibility! If you want to know why Mormons are generally so happy, check this link out!

4. The Book of Mormon. I have been reading it a lot more lately (slowly but surely!), and my testimony that this book is truly the word of God is growing firm again. I have faith that reading it will strengthen my home and increase the happiness we feel daily. One purpose of this life is for us to have joy and I personally have been promised to feel that joy if I will continually try to do the right thing--including immersing myself in the scriptures. Sometimes I read them because it is a commandment, and sometimes (like now) I read them because it truly increases my happiness.

5. This blog. Sometimes I hate this stupid thing because it can be a big time waster, but more often than not, it brings me a lot of happiness because I enjoy writing, and I also like sharing my testimony and points of view with others. I hope that my writing does occasionally bring a little bit of additional happiness to your day. If not, let me know and I'll work on that...but if it has, I like to know that too. I love reading your comments, though all too often I just reply mentally rather than literally. But anyway, this blog is bringing me happiness in this exact moment and I guess that's what matters (at least for the sake of this post).

I'm sure I could add several others. But the requirement was 5 things, plus it's past midnight now and I have a baby girl to go and snuggle.

What are 5 things (or even just a few) that are making you happy right now? Maybe it's a major thing or something simple.

Desktop Words

These are quotes that I typed onto sticky notes on my computer desktop at various times in the last three years...most are from my time at BYU-Idaho. My desktop is a disaster as a result, so I thought I'd put them somewhere out of the way where I could find them if I needed to. Look for the ones that stand out to you as you read!

Good Financial Advice:

Pay an honest tithing

Learn to manage money

Learn self-discipline and self-restraint

Use a budget

Teach family the importance of working & earning

Teach children to save money

Teach family members to contribute to family welfare

Make education a continuing process

Work toward home ownership

Choose an insurance program

Understand the influence of external forces
Have food storage/emergency preparedness

"Despite the changes which come into our lives and with gratitude in our hearts, may we fill our days—as much as we can—with those things which matter most. May we cherish those we hold dear and express our love to them in word and in deed." ~President Thomas S. Monson

"God knows what we do not know and sees what we do not see." ~President Howard W. Hunter

2 Nephi 13:9: "The show of their countenance doth witness for them."

"The greatest responsibility in this world that God has laid upon us is to seek after our dead...For it is necessary that the sealing power should be in our hands to seal our children and our dead for the fulness of the dispensation to meet the promises made by Jesus Christ before the foundation of the world for the salvation of man." ~The Prophet Joseph Smith 

"If you have repented from serious transgression and mistakenly believe that you will always be a second-class citizen in the kingdom of God, learn that is not true." ~Elder Richard G. Scott

"Income five dollars and expenses six dollars: misery. Income four dollars and expenses three dollars: happiness." ~Charles Dickens (David Copperfield)

“We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are.” ~Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Matthew 10:16: "Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves." We do not need to be aggressive to stand up against the lies of the world, but we do need to be wise and cautious to avoid being deceived.

"As a woman, please don’t judge how worthwhile, needed, and loved you are by our inept ability to express our true feelings. Your divinely conferred trait of giving of self without counting the cost leads you to underestimate your own worth." ~Elder Richard G. Scott

"Do something every day that scares you." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

D&C 98:1: "Rejoice evermore and in everything give thanks."

Jeremiah 29:13: "Ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye search for me with all your heart." 

"It is better to Prepare & Prevent than to Repair and Repent." ~President Ezra Taft Benson

Devotional May 10: Elder Donald L. Hallstrom

"The duty to act is OURS."

Mosiah 2:41: "Consider the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God...they dwell with Him in a state of never-ending happiness."

New & Everlasting Covenant: The Gospel of Jesus Christ

~The Temple is a place for making/renewing covenants

~Our covenants are a blessing, not a burden. 

~Pray for the strength to live true to your covenants. 

~What really matters, is HOW we live. Not how long. 

~Firmly establishing a relationship with God (will bless our posterity)

So tell me which of these (if any) stood out to you and which is your favorite!

iWant

I'm not particularly in the mood to write a long, interesting post, but I need to distract myself from wanting to meet (so badly) this sweet little girl inside me. So I thought I would share what I want for the future of the little Gunnell family:

First off, I want more kids. Our first isn't quite here but already I feel more excited to become a mom than anything. I have wanted to be a mother all my life and I am so thankful that I will be able to start this exciting and fun journey with Dalin really soon (I hope!!). I bet many of you are thinking, isn't it a little premature to be thinking about baby #2 already? I don't feel like it is. Anyone who grew up with me knows I have always wanted a larger family (six or seven children to be more specific), and if I am to achieve that goal I need to get a move on! ;) But seriously, I am extremely grateful for how easy I have had it so far. My pregnancy has been long but wonderful. Particularly when I hear about the experiences of other women, I realize I have nothing to complain about. I am so looking forward to giving birth. In Spanish, the phrase for "giving birth" is dar a luz. I love that because directly translated it means, "to give a light." Children of Heavenly Father are lights when they come to this earth and I cannot wait to meet our sweet little daughter of God. 

Second, I want our daughter (and our other children, too) to learn Spanish. I am not sure why this is so important to me, but it always has been. I really want my children to be bilingual so that they might have many options available to them in the future. I'm not too concerned about her learning English. I am sure I will speak to her in English more often than I would like and everyone around her will be speaking English, too. The thing is, I love Spanish, and my latin friends tell me I'm pretty good at speaking it... But I certainly am not fluent. Dalin knows Spanish from his mission in San Diego and I've been informed by several of his mission friends that he is amazing at it. So together we should be able to be successful, right? It obviously isn't my first language and it will be a challenge to tell myself to speak to her in Spanish, but it is important to me that my children learn as much as they can.

Third, I want to organize our home--on several levels. I want our home to be a place of peace and welcoming. I want others to feel the Spirit when they enter our home. I want it to be clean and organized, and I want to de-clutter our lives and learn to focus on establishing gospel principles in our home. Hopefully we can take President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's words to heart: "It is good advice to slow down a little, steady the course, and focus on the essentials." As Elder Dallin H. Oaks once taught, "We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families." The gospel is our priority. Returning to our Father in Heaven is our ultimate goal. I want to be with my family forever.

Fourth, I want to save for our future home. I am not positive where our family will end up, (though I have some ideas) but I know that I want a humble home that I feel I can maintain and work on and beautify. I want to have a modest-sized home (despite our supposedly large family) because I want to be able to afford to do things. I want to travel with Dalin and our children. I want to be able to visit family whenever we want. I want to be able to bring our kids to places and teach them to value experiences and lessons over possessions. I would much rather go places as a family than have lots of things. I love Elder Dallin H. Oaks' quote: "In choosing how we spend time as a family, we should be careful not to exhaust our available time on things that are merely good and leave little time for that which is better or best." Quality family time is much more important than having a lot of new things. "The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives." (Elder Oaks). 

Fifth, I want to finish school and work toward developing a part-time career that I can do in our home with my children. I think it is important that I contribute to our income in whatever way possible, though my first priority is raising our children in the gospel. Whether I contribute by selling my artwork, teaching art classes, writing a fantastic blog (ha ha), or editing or even writing books (like I ultimately would like to), I want to feel as though I am helping our family in that small way. I enjoy doing projects and creating things and I hope I will be able to cultivate those talents and interests in my children's own lives. 

Sixth, I want to raise our children with a firm foundation in the gospel of Jesus Christ. They will have their agency and they may choose to take a route that strays from our faith, but I hope by establishing a good base, they will ultimately choose for themselves the way of the gospel. I know it brings the truest happiness and is the only means by which we can live with our families forever.

What are your family or personal goals? 

Reflection on Jealousy

Sometimes, it's hard for me not to be jealous of what others have. I guess I'm a human...but seriously, when I hear about other couples going on amazing trips or adventures, I get a little bit frustrated. Don't get me wrong, I love our life together as we are both working hard to save for the future right now, but sometimes it just feels like everyone is having fun except for us. I know that this is not true and that we are doing the most important thing we possibly could be doing by preparing for the beginning of our eternal family, but it is not always easy. 

I just need to remind myself of our many blessings. First off, we are living independently. We don't rely on the support of our parents or the government (not because we don't want to, we just don't) and we are doing completely fine. We can afford our lifestyle because we don't spend money on frivolous things. We save and only splurge on rare occasions. We are saving for our family, our future, and for those many trips and vacations we feel like we're missing out on right now. The fact is, we are extremely blessed. I am thankful that we are both frugal and that we both know how to manage and save money. We are not rich by the world's standards, but we are extremely wealthy in blessings. Everyday I am so grateful that we can afford such a great, clean, reliable car. We had so many problems with our last two vehicles that it's a huge relief to have one that functions without needing constant attention. I am grateful for our apartment because, as much as I want a home, it is helping me appreciate how wonderful home ownership will be. It is also a place where we began our journey as a newly wed couple and where our family will start. And those reasons alone make it special. Sure I would love a dishwasher, our own washer and dryer, and A/C unit (particularly while I'm pregnant this summer...). But someday we will have those things, and it will be that much sweeter because we did without. And survived. 

Thomas S. Monson reminds us: 

"May I assure you that there is no shame in a couple having to scrimp and save. It is generally during these challenging times that you will grow closer together as you learn to sacrifice and to make difficult decisions."

I am so thankful for the life that we have! And so thankful to our parents who taught us excellent principles to live by.

Have you felt the same way I do?
What do you do to save money?
Do you try to live in the moment or plan for the future?

On a different note, my best friend since 4th grade, Sarah Morgan Ayer--who is currently Hermana Ayer as she is serving a mission in Ecuador (Guayaquil South fyi)--emailed me today telling me her mission president gave her permission to write whomever she wants!!!!!! Woohoo!!!!! I sent her one letter via pouch mail (which goes through the MTC) a few months ago but it took a year to get to her basically, and she sent me a letter in the meantime in which I had pretty much already answered all her questions. So I haven't written her again since in case she thought I'd sent that letter after she wrote me and wrote me again--I didn't want us to be off track the entire time she's gone. But now that's not an issue! I'm so excited!!!!! Especially because my other best friend since middle school, Megan Louise Wernig, is currently on a study abroad in Italy and also pretty much impossible to contact so it's been kind of lonely at times when I need a friend who isn't my sweet husband or my awesome mom. 

One friend teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ in Ecuador, one friend learning about amazing historic art and literature in Italy, and one friend in Provo preparing to have a baby. We are living the life ;)

I can't wait until the three of us are reunited!

Controversy: A Woman's Role

I am responding today to a powerful article entitled: "How my mother's fanatical feminist views tore us apart." As I read, I found myself sympathizing with the author and wanting to reach out to her and tell her I'm proud of her for the choices she has made in her personal life. Her mother is very apparently a poor example of what a woman should be: tender, caring, full of love, willing to serve others, kind toward children--she  has not truly developed any of these qualities though she may make impressions otherwise. 

The fact that Walker neglected her own daughter shows she lacks good character and, to be frank, good sense. How can she support the view that children enslave women? Does she not care about raising the next generation to be one that honors women? How does she lack the foresight to recognize that children are going to be born no matter what and that without strong, willing mothers, they will be raised just as poorly as today's generation? 

As someone who is strongly anti-abortion, I feel very sorry that Rebecca had that heartbreaking experience at the age of 14. It makes me sad that she was put in that position as a youth and that her mother displayed no interest in her daughter's situation at the time. Her mother's lack of approval was a selfish act, meant only to hurt her daughter who obviously tried very hard to please her mother regardless of their differing views. This quote regarding her mother's attitude toward her lifestyle sickens me: "But she wouldn't back down. Instead, she wrote me a letter saying that our relationship had been inconsequential for years and that she was no longer interested in being my mother." How utterly despicable and hateful Walker has been toward her daughter. It is a miracle that Rebecca has been able to look past her mother's faulted ideas and cultivate an entirely new set of beliefs on her own. 

Rebecca's views on feminism align well with my own. I consider myself the complete opposite of a feminist--at least the opposite of the extremists. I am aware that it has had its merits. Feminism has given women opportunities. It has opened doors to higher education, better workplace conditions, and involvement in politics. But in my mind it has gone much too far and is essentially destroying the most important and crucial unit in society: the family. 

I liked this quote of Rebecca's:

"Feminism has betrayed an entire generation of women into childlessness. It is devastating."

It is very devastating. How sad for those women who selfishly deny themselves the power to create and support life. It is the one power we possess that men do not and our divine responsibility as women. Yet so many turn away from that role and later find that they have missed out on a great happiness. This particularly saddens me when I think of how many women abort the life they have created, while so many women suffer from loneliness--many are single and unable to have the family they dream of, many are barren but yearn to be a mother more than anything else, and many have had tragedies befall them or their children leaving them in what must feel like a perpetual state of helplessness. 

Rebecca sums up her mother's greatest fault with this quote. "But, while she has taken care of daughters all over the world and is hugely revered for her public work and service, my childhood tells a very different story. I came very low down in her priorities--after work, political integrity, self-fulfillment, friendships, spiritual life, fame and travel." Selfishness is evident in Alice Walker's every deed. She may have incorrectly believed that she was living a life of freedom and independence, but in actuality she behaved for her own good and no one else's. 

The greatest point Rebecca makes in her article is how her experience as a mother has been more freeing than she thought possible: "The other day I was vacuuming when my son came bounding into the room. 'Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, let me help,' he cried. His little hands were grabbing me around the knees and his huge brown eyes were looking up at me. I was overwhelmed by a huge surge of happiness. I love the way his head nestles in the crook of my neck. I love the way his face falls into a mask of eager concentration when I help him learn the alphabet. But most of all, I simply love hearing his little voice calling: 'Mummy, Mummy.' It reminds me of just how blessed I am. The truth is that I very nearly missed out on becoming a mother  -  thanks to being brought up by a rabid feminist who thought motherhood was about the worst thing that could happen to a woman. You see, my mum taught me that children enslave women. I grew up believing that children are millstones around your neck, and the idea that motherhood can make you blissfully happy is a complete fairytale. In fact, having a child has been the most rewarding experience of my life. Far from 'enslaving' me, three-and-a-half-year-old Tenzin has opened my world. My only regret is that I discovered the joys of motherhood so late  -  I have been trying for a second child for two years, but so far with no luck." 

I am grateful for Rebecca Walker's courageous example. She has taught me that there is more to be gained as a woman through motherhood than anything else. She emphasizes that the truest source of happiness has been her family. She recognizes her mother's many errors of thinking and has developed her own set of principles to live by. She is someone that I personally look up to for her faith and commitment to her family. 

Now I want to hear your thoughts and feelings. 
What did you think of her article? 
Do you agree with her like I do or disagree and why? 
What joy, in your mind, could possibly be greater or more important than having a loving family? 

Sister Frances B. Monson: Home-Maker Supreme

Until today, I knew very little about the wife of our beloved prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Upon learning that she passed away today at the age of 85, I immediately felt sad for President Monson and his children. I proceeded to look up Frances Monson and read about her life. I love reading the life stories of others, and particularly of those who were raised in a different, and well (what I consider), a better time. I have learned so much about what a wonderful example of Christ-like love and service Frances was, as well as how delightful a mother and friend she proved to be. 

She studied hard in school and excelled in math and science. After marrying Thomas, the couple had three children and quite the variety of family pets. She practiced good bookkeeping and budgeting, applying Church principles of thrift and self-reliance. She was an excellent bargain shopper. Whenever there were things to fix or assemble in the home, Frances was the one to do it. She served well in the Church and supported her husband in every calling he was given. About this, her husband says, “But never once has she complained. Never once. Not in our entire married life has she done anything to keep me from any aspect of my service. I have never received anything but support and encouragement from Frances.” She was hardworking both in and out of the home and enjoyed serving others. She took care of her mother for many years. She lived with a sense of humor that brought her family joy. "She also delighted in being a mother, continually teaching her children the importance of sacrifice and serving the Lord." She "radiated patience and compassion when serving others" (Church Newsroom).

“My mother is unlike many of the women of today’s generation. Instead of looking for the recognition of the world, she has always received her acknowledgment of worth from such things as the happy smile of a son or the outstretched hand of a grandchild. President Wilford Woodruff once said that the mother has greater influence over her posterity than any other person can have, and her influence is felt through time and eternity. I am grateful to my mother, thankful for her influence and pray that I might always be worthy of her love. As I reflect upon the many blessings which I have received as the daughter of an apostle of the Lord, the one which means the most to me is the gift and blessing of the woman he married, my mother.” 

~Ann Monson Dibb

Such a beautiful woman.

Frances with her husband, Thomas, and three children.

What a happy couple they are! So sweet.

 

So much tender love and happiness in this photo of the two.

If you are interested in learning more about this terrific woman, read this article from the Church newsroom. 
You can also read this excellent article from lds.org about the Monson's wonderful marriage and life together, entitled "I Knew I'd Found the Right One."

Because of who she was during her life, I am confident that Frances Monson's reunion with her husband will be a very joyful one. I would be filled with happiness to know I would be remembered in the way that she will be.

Have you ever met Sister Monson? What stood out to you about her? What principles from her life are you trying to develop in your own home?

Mini Breakdown: Pregnancy Stress

Last night, out of nowhere, I had a mini breakdown. 

Normally that isn't something I would want to admit but I felt I had a good reason. 

After reading some stupid article on a pregnancy website, I started to panic about giving birth. Not being a mom per se, but actually having the baby. Obviously I knew it was inevitable these whole six months and I guess I had seemed okay with it before, but that stupid article got me to start over-thinking things and I freaked out. I called my home, my dad answered, and when I began crying he handed the phone off to mom. 

Luckily, my mom comforted me a million times over. She reminded me that billions of women have done it and many didn't even have any type of epidural or good medical help. She reminded me about those moms that have lots and lots of kids and said that they wouldn't do it if it wasn't worth it. She said that every single woman gets scared at some point beforehand and it's completely normal to be worried. She also told me that her contractions were like really bad menstrual cramps except instead of being continual, they only last about 15 seconds and you have breaks in between. Since I can relate to that, that was very comforting to me. She told me I will probably have an advantage over a lot of girls because I have had such bad cramps before (bad enough that I had to miss school and other things because I was curled up in a ball) and they aren't much different than that. She also reminded me that the end result makes it all worth it--at least you have a sweet and new little baby in the end! 

My mom also reminded me that while still in the hospital after having me, she said, "I could do that again." I guess it must be worth it if she could say that not too long after having a baby. 

As we were talking, I kept asking Mom things like, "Which was worse, breaking a bone or having a baby?" She said breaking a bone. I guess that was kind of a pointless question since I have never broken a bone before and can't relate to that kind of pain, but it definitely comforted me because that sounds SUPER painful to me. We talked for a long time and when I finally stopped crying, I felt much better. 

Today I am feeling much more positive about things. My mom suggested I find a birthing class to sign up for and begin attending classes asap. She told me I could get a blessing beforehand if I was scared. And on my own, I've decided I am not going to read so many pregnancy articles...especially any that are negative or scary. They just bring a lot of unnecessary stress.

Finally, when I spoke on the phone with my grandmother this morning, she reminded me that God doesn't give us more than we can handle and that I will be just fine. I just need to have faith. 

What was your biggest apprehension about giving birth? How did you get over it?

If you had a surprisingly positive experience, will you tell me about it? (I don't really want to hear any scary parts...for obvious reasons)

Mother. The Most Important Job.

My lovely, lovely mother :)

Mother's day is coming, men and children. And women with moms...so everyone. You now have just over a week to prepare. Now is the time to think about finding a way to make up for all the naughtiness and trouble and grief you caused your mother growing up. She made tons and tons of sacrifices for you, the least you can do is write her a note. If nothing else, be sure to call her and tell her you love her. She probably already knows it, but I guarantee she never gets tired of hearing her children say that to her. For you married men who do not yet have children, think of this: Someday, your wife will be giving birth to YOUR child. She has dedicated her whole life to preparing for this position, and in the meantime, she is probably mothering you so be sure to do something for her. Even the smallest gesture will mean much more to her than you might think. I know I can't help but hold onto every single little note Dalin writes me. I love them so much. I even hang some on the fridge because they make me so happy every time I see them. And just one more thing--do not forget those women in your life who have, at times, been like mothers to you. There are so many women out there who have not had the opportunity to have children of their own and so have dedicated much of their lives to being a mother to everyone. I can think of a number of women who fall into this category for me. They probably do not even know the impact they have had on my life. So if you get the chance, thank those women who have similarly impacted you, too. It will bless their lives. 

In honor of all mothers, I wanted to talk about how completely ecstatic I am to be given the opportunity to be one myself. I love my baby girl and cannot wait to see her and get to know her personality and become her friend. I can tell by the way she wiggles all the time that she is going to be so much fun and a joy to raise. 

Society has an unfortunately negative perspective of motherhood. Many call it a pain, a hassle, a sacrifice. It is a sacrifice. But the best definition of sacrifice in my mind (straight from Dictionary.com) is: "the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim." Interesting that it mentions surrendering something desirable (also good) for something of higher or more pressing claim. The value of a good mother simply cannot be communicated in writing. One HUGE reason the world is growing so wicked (I believe) is because of the destruction of the family. Women just are not taking their responsibility of motherhood serious enough. And the family is suffering because of it. As all Latter-day Saints know, the family is "the fundamental unit of society." This means when society suffers, it is because the family is suffering.

Dalin and I have been very fortunate to have support on both sides of our family. They both are excited for the growth of our little family. Not everyone is so lucky. Many couples are encouraged to "wait to have kids--travel first--you have plenty of time." These are common phrases heard by young married couples. And to me, it's sad. Because when is anyone more happy than when they are with their parents and siblings and loved ones? For me, never. 

I loved this article which describes many of those negative experiences I mentioned. This woman does a fabulous job at creating a positive outlook on motherhood and bearing children. I loved in particular these lines from it:

"If you are a pregnant woman, boldly declare your excitement for your baby bump! 

When you are in the midst of bottles and binkies and spit up and tantrums and sleepless nights – do not let the enemy whisper in your ear – “this is too much.” Lean on Jesus and thank God for giving you SO much!

When the world says, you are too young, remember: Mary was young.

When the world says, you are too old, remember: Sarah was old.

When the world says, you don’t know what you are doing, remember Eve – who had no role models at all…she just walked with the King."

I thought this was great. I mean truly, what job out there is more important than motherhood? There is literally nothing I want more than to be a great mother (other than being with my family forever). And although it is wonderful in some ways that Dalin and I will have had two terrific years of marriage all to ourselves, I wish in many ways that we had just ignored the words of others about waiting to have children (which is not why we did wait, by the way) and started sooner. I have already loved this part of our marriage possibly more than any other part and I know it will only get better. We can hardly wait until we can hold our baby girl and love her and raise her to be a righteous daughter of God. 

There are so many things I never thought I would care about until I was put into the position I am in now (being pregnant I mean). Like modesty, for example. My mother was pretty strict when it came to modesty and now I am so grateful she was. It drove me crazy that she cared about it so much and even though I was obedient to her and chose not go against the standards, I was annoyed and embarrassed when she let me know something was too short or too low or too revealing in any way. She was also always sure to inform me if I was wearing too much makeup. That embarrassed me and usually made me upset with her but looking back, I am so glad she cared enough to tell me no. Especially now when I see so many girls whose moms clearly did not tell them "no" enough. 

I know I will be following in her footsteps because I care. A lot. I do not want ANYONE looking at my daughter in a disrespectful way. I want my daughter to have enough confidence in her inner beauty that she does not become absorbed by her outward appearance. I want her to know that her body is a temple and that it should be treated sacred. Our bodies are on loan. They eventually will be returned and hopefully they will be in better than "fair" condition. I hope I can help my daughter to understand that as a daughter of a Heavenly King, she is royalty. And as such, she should behave like it.

Growing up, I had the Gospel Standards poster put out by the Church for Primary children hanging on the inside of the door of my wardrobe. I read it frequently and these lines in particular have stayed with me: 

I will keep my mind and body sacred and pure, and I will not partake of things that are harmful to me. I will dress modestly to show respect for Heavenly Father and myself.

At the time, I couldn't understand how dressing immodestly was disrespectful. Since reading The Anatomy of Peace, I think the best way to explain how it is disrespectful is by describing how it is a way of willfully objectifying oneself. As I now have been trying hard to view others as human beings and individuals rather than objects or obstacles, I can clearly see why immodesty turns women (in particular) into mere objects. I certainly am no feminist, but I think many of those with feminist views would agree that women who do not respect the privacy of, and in reality, the sacredness of their own bodies, cannot expect men to respect those things. That would be both unfair and unrealistic. If we want to be empowered as women, we must do things that empower us. Only we can bear our own children. Only we can know what it is to truly nurture and care for a newborn. Only we can follow our natural maternal instincts to know what our child needs. I think many feminists have it all backwards--we shouldn't push away our God-given role as mothers because we mistakenly believe it is demeaning--we should embrace our Individual Worth and our Divine Nature and recognize that we are creating and managing the very unit which is the cornerstone of a functioning society. 

If you do not believe me, please ask yourself where would anyone be without their mother. For one bleak moment, consider what society would be like if there were no mothers who cared. I'm going to take a leap and hypothesize that there would be a lot more crime and sadness in the world. I have a very loving and caring father, but my mom is the one who for the most part taught me how I should treat others. She taught me the importance of being kind and the importance of sharing. She taught me how to make friends and how to keep them. She taught me how to apologize and how to be forgiving. She also taught me the importance of being sensitive to the feelings of others. That's just how it is--most women are better at understanding the emotional needs of a person. It's just a part of female nature. 

I am so grateful for my mother and for all that she continually does for me. She made sacrifices, some of which were probably difficult to make. But they were for the purpose of building something greater. I am thankful to have had morals instilled in me while growing up. I am only now realizing how uncommon that is. Some families just don't have good values like integrity, service, hard work, etc. I am doing my best to follow in my mother's footsteps by building a home that will be a place of peace and joy, where the Spirit can always reside. In a very small way, I am contributing to the building of the Kingdom. I love you, Mom. Thanks for being my second best friend ;)

March Madness (Sorry, this is not about basketball ;)

This past fortnight (haha, I was going to be a normal person and say two weeks then I decided I never get to use "fortnight" so I did here) has been the craziest of 2013 so far.

To give you all a little recap, the craziness began last Tuesday (February 26th) when my mom and Donovan flew in from New Hampshire for a visit (which I had been anticipating since December...at least).

I love, love, love having my family stay with us. My mom always is so helpful and our apartment always looks significantly cleaner when she's around. Donovan is seriously such a light in my life--he makes me laugh so much and he just has a fun, innocent attitude that makes everyone love being around him. I was so excited for him to be able to experience Utah, mostly because I knew he would like it here much more than I do and I was looking forward to seeing his reaction to the snow and mountains.

I still had to work while they visited, but it worked out well because while I was busy, they spent a day in Park City so Donovan could go skiing. While there, Donny not only met his favorite pro-skier (I can't say I knew him, but apparently he's famous), Tom Wallisch, but he also got him to autograph a picture Donny had painted of him (and conveniently had with him...), AND they skied the slopes together several times. To me, it sounds like Wallisch is a really decent guy to go skiing with a 13-year old more than just once and take several pictures with him. He has no idea how much that made Donovan's trip. My respect for the guy went up a few points for that.

Another day, we went to Hang Time gym and Dalin and Donny jumped around for a few hours while Mom and I went shopping together. I love those two boys so much! Donovan thinks Dalin is so cool but he acts all chill when he's around him. We got Krispy Kreme donuts and hot chocolate after Hang Time (yum!).

On March 1st, Dalin and I had the opportunity to go to the Provo temple and watch as his sister received her own endowment. It was very special, and so exciting to be there for her on such an important day. I love the blessings of the temple! They bring so much happiness to our lives! That night, we drove to Manti and stayed in a little motel right next to the Manti temple. We saw like infinity deer on the way there. Also, random note, it was like the best night's sleep I've had since being pregnant. My back really liked that motel bed. 

The following day, we got up early and dressed for the temple. The Manti temple is amazing! It is so beautiful and surprisingly colorful inside. I loved it so much. The sealing was wonderful. I was doing my best to remember the things that the sealer was saying to Shaina and Layton so that I could write it down later. Nearly everyone was in tears. Including Dalin, whom I have never seen cry before! When I told him that, he informed me that he cries at night when I'm asleep (ha ha). He also said that he was too happy to cry on our wedding day; he couldn't stop smiling. That made me feel good. It was wonderful being in there with my mom and all of Dalin's family members, including his grandparents and lots of his aunts from Arizona! It was a big family reunion.

The reception was back in Lehi and it was beautiful! There were so many different delicious types of cake available. We took lots of pictures and had a great time. But by the time we left, we were exhausted and happy to go home.

Two mornings later, we went to our doctor's appointment with Dr. Pace at Orem Family Medicine and he let us do a little bedside ultrasound for fun so my mom and Dalin's parents could see the baby. Jensen and Donovan got to see the baby, too, which was neat. As fun as it was, we weren't able to determine the baby's gender. We did get to watch the baby move a whole lot and even suck his/her thumb though (dang cute!), so it was worth it. Still, eager to find out the gender (especially after we had thought we'd be able to tell at the bedside), Dalin's mom and dad brought me to a fetal photo clinic at the mall to find out! I really liked the ultrasound tech there--he wasn't as rough as some others I've had and he did a good job at getting pictures of the baby. This was where he told us he was 100% sure that we are having a baby......

GIRL!!!!! 

I couldn't believe it! I still can't sometimes! I am so excited and so surprised! Dalin and our dads called it. The moms thought it was a boy. I wasn't sure. But I am thrilled! When we found out, I had my mom and Dalin on the phone (Mom was in Park City with Donovan again, and Dalin had to be at work) and they were both so excited of course. I really wish Dalin could have seen our little girl on the screen in person though...she was sitting upside down and kicking and punching around the whole time. She is so active! The ultrasound tech poked my belly and on the screen we could see as he pushed the wall of my uterus against our little girl's bum (since she was upside down). It was so cute to see her wiggle away.

That same day (much later), we moved apartments within Wymount! We just moved from apartment 300 (3rd floor of building 5C) to 268 in 5B (2nd floor!). It took a really long time. We were blessed to have lots of help from Dalin's friends, Anthony, Jason, Daniel & Rachel, Isaac, and of course, Dalin, my mom and Donovan. (Well, and myself, though I couldn't lift a whole lot). It definitely was a huge project, especially the night before Mom and Donovan were leaving for New Hampshire :/ but I'm so glad they were there to help. My mom helped me clean a lot and she also helped organize our new kitchen before bed (which was really all we had time to do). Even filled with boxes, I love the new apartment. It is going to take a LOT of work to unpack everything though...especially with me working so much. Bringing Mom and Donovan to the airport the next day was really hard for me, but I didn't let myself think about it too much. I know I'll see her soon...probably when the baby is born.

I was happy, however that my mom made it home in time for her and Donovan to have one last night with Grandpa French before he passed away early Wednesday morning at 3:06am on 3/6 (at 36 Larch Drive I might add). He was surrounded by love and I'm just so grateful that he went peacefully. And that we knew it was coming. It would have been so much harder if he had died suddenly from a heart-attack or something where we would not have had the time to prepare. As you may already know from my other posts, I love my Grandpa French very much and although it makes me sad that he is gone from this earth, I am grateful that I had my 21+ years with him. I am also grateful to know that families are forever and I will see him again. As hard as it is, I am glad he is back to his old self and no longer so weak and uncomfortable where he is now. And he is with his parents and fraternal twin sister who died at birth, which I am sure was a wonderful reunion. I am thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and knowing that we can be together again because of Him.

The next weekend, Thursday night, we left on our annual trip to Sun Valley, Idaho. It was definitely not the same as last year for a few reasons--one, I'm pregnant meaning I can't ice skate or go in the hot-tub (or even the heated pool really); two, JeNeale couldn't come because of her job and she had some preparations for the Boise reception; and three, I came down with a terrible cough and head cold right before we left and it only worsened while there. We still had fun going to all the shops we go to every year, but it was not so fun feeling so congested and gross. My cold and sore throat got so bad that we made plans to visit a doctor in Boise on our way there. Apparently I have strep and sinusitis. The reception, as beautiful as it was, was not so fun for me. Particularly because I lost my voice. But it was awesome to see Dalin's family and meet his friend, Connor. Plus JeNeale made the reception GORGEOUS. I loved the vintage furniture and the mint-themed foods. So awesome.

Anyway, with all visits, trips, moving, weddings, the passing of my grandpa, sicknesses, work, and being pregnant, you can see how our March has been a little overwhelming so far. Let's just say I am really looking forward to April and hoping it will be a little more tranquil ;)

<3

Also, everyone keeps asking--yes we have a name for the baby that we're pretty set on, but we probably won't announce it publicly so if you really want to know, you can message me and I'll tell you that way. Otherwise, you'll just have to wait and see! ;)

Did you know...

I am pregnant! Just kidding, you should definitely know that by now. But I really am pregnant--I wasn't kidding about that part! 

I have never dyed my hair. Not once. I used to want to try getting highlights when I was in high school, but my mom who knows from experience, told me, "Once you start, it's hard to stop." Wise words, I've discovered by watching my friends and acquaintances. Dalin especially should be grateful for this since it's probably saved tons of money that might have been spent on dyes, trips to the hairdresser, etc. 

I have an almost complete record of my life from the time I was 13. That's right, when I turned 13 and began to take my responsibilities in Young Women's seriously, I began writing in my journal and I haven't stopped since. I will throw it out there that it is not a perfect record. I have missed a day or two randomly. But even for those days, I would try to write at least a sentence from memory about that day. It's funny how now, when I miss a day during the week, it seems so difficult to remember the previous days. I forget what I did just the day before almost instantly. It's not a good thing, but it makes me grateful that I have a record to look back on. And there have been plenty of times where I was so glad I had thought to write a detail down. I hope that my journals (I have 28 or so of them) will prove to help my children and grandchildren someday. Whether they learn from my mistakes or just find some peace in my thoughts. 

I am pretty dang conservative. Politics, my lifestyle, my choices--other than the way I very loudly and openly voice my opinion--I am very conservative. What can I say? I like traditions. I do not apologize for that. Call me old-fashioned because I care about family values and my morality...people have and it doesn't matter to me one bit. I like the way the world was when my grandparents were kids.  It was simpler then. I am happy that I live in this day and age or I never would have the wonderful family or sweet husband that I do, but if I could pick a time to be raised, I would definitely have picked the early to mid-1900s. Something about their hardworking and humble lifestyles really appeals to me. Lots of people want me to keep my opinions about politics to myself. That isn't going to happen. I am very patriotic and I genuinely care about American and our Constitution. Do I think it is being upheld in the way our forefathers intended it to be? Not at all. By my reasoning, that gives me even more of a reason to stick up for it. 

I'm not superstitious...but I am a little stitious. Just kidding, I actually took that line from The Office. But it popped into my head and I thought it might give somebody with a good sense of humor a laugh. In reality, I am a little superstitious though. I avoid stepping on cracks when I walk, including when I'm at the mall or in a public place. I just don't make it super obvious. I think everyone has a little OCD, and that's my weird thing. I just don't want to take the chance that I really will break my mother's back (or anyone's back for that matter) by stepping on a stupid gap in the pavement or tile. Now everyone is going to watch me when I'm walking around with them. 

I do not hate anyone. I am of course human, and I have probably said that I do hate someone in frustration or in a joking manner, but truly, I do not hate anyone. That would not be very Christ-like. There are people whose views I disagree with and cruel people who I may strongly dislike, but I remind myself often that everyone is a child of God. Whether they act like it or not. One of my favorite quotes by Maya Angelou, which I have posted on our fridge reads: 

"Sometimes, when I grow frustrated with someone, I think, 'Watch yourself, that's a child of God.'"

A lot of times, I catch myself thinking something unkind about someone and I think, "Would I want someone to think that about me? How would I feel?" That usually puts an end to that. I try to love everybody. I love my Heavenly Father and I love His precious children. I love His children that are lost and do not even know it because they haven't found anything better in their lives yet. I wish I could share with them the happiness I feel as a member of the Church and help them to find that same happiness for themselves. That is why I love missionary work so much and why I share the gospel openly with anyone who is willing to hear it. Some people think that makes me weird. Well, truthfully I am weird and I know it, so I'm fine with that.

I would love to have twins. Sure it would be hard. And I don't even know if my body could handle carrying two babies at once, but I would love twin boys or one boy and a girl. My Grandpa French is a fraternal twin and apparently the fraternal twin gene is given from father to daughter. So my grandpa gave my mom that gene and she would have passed it to me. I seriously would be so excited to get twins at some point. But for now, I'm just overjoyed that I'm pregnant and that our little baby will be joining our lives in early August! 

Did you know these things about me?

Is there something I should have added?...maybe how I've been hit by lightning?

What is something unusual about you that I might not know?

Day Six: Our Founding Fathers

I am thankful for the faithful men who developed the Constitution of the United States.

I am thankful for their belief that, under God, all men are created equal.

I am grateful for the freedoms that have been given to us and defended over the past two hundred plus years.

I am grateful for their wisdom and dedication to developing principles by which we ought to govern ourselves.

I am glad that they had morals and values and that the majority of them (52 out of 55) were men of faith.

Benjamin Franklin had a very impressive system of values, which you can read about right here.

If you would like to take a moment and read about our Founding Fathers, I would highly suggest reading this.

Here is a segment of it: 

"There is a distortion of history frequently heard that our nation does not have biblical or Christian roots and that our Founding Fathers were mostly deists and not Christians. Nothing could be further from the truth."

President George Washington said: "It is impossible to rightly govern … without God and the Bible," and also "To the distinguished Character of a Patriot, it should be our highest glory to add the most distinguished Character of Christian." 

Our sixth President, John Quincy Adams, said it best: "The highest glory of the American Revolution was this: It connected in one indissoluble bond, the principles of civil government and the principles of Christianity."

Benjamin Franklin said very profoundly: “The longer I live, the more convincing proofs I see of this truth, that God governs in the affairs of men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without His aid?”

Thank you, for giving us this free nation to live in.

gunnell family home evening

Well, Dalin and I have decided that we need to make FHE (family home evening) a priority in our little home.  And so we have started the tradition of finding an article to share with one another on Monday night.

Yesterday, I started off and shared a portion of a talk given by President Hinckley. It came from my Marriage and Family homework but I had just loved it so much I wanted to share it. The talk is entitled, "Cornerstones of a Happy Home."

Here is our happy household ;)

Here are some of my favorite parts of it:

Equality in Marriage

To men within the sound of my voice, wherever you may be, I say, if you are guilty of demeaning behavior toward your wife, if you are prone to dictate and exercise authority over her, if you are selfish and brutal in your actions in the home, then stop it! Repent! Repent now while you have the opportunity to do so.

~

To you wives who are constantly complaining and see only the dark side of life, and feel that you are unloved and unwanted, look into your own hearts and minds. If there is something wrong, turn about. Put a smile on your faces. Make yourselves attractive. Brighten your outlook. You deny yourselves happiness and court misery if you constantly complain and do nothing to rectify your own faults. Rise above the shrill clamor over rights and prerogatives, and walk in the quiet dignity of a daughter of God.

.....

The trick, my brethren and sisters is to enjoy the journey, traveling hand in hand, in sunshine and storm, as companions who love one another. Anyone can do it with a disciplined effort to live the gospel. Remember, “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it” (Psalm 127:1).

Four Cornerstones

"...I have long felt that happiness in marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one’s companion. That involves a willingness to overlook weaknesses and mistakes."

~

1. Mutual Respect

The first of these I choose to call mutual respect. Each of us is an individual. Each of us is different. There must be respect for those differences, and while it is important and necessary that both the husband and the wife strive to ameliorate those differences, there must be some recognition that they exist and that they are not necessarily undesirable. There must be respect one for another, notwithstanding such differences. In fact, the differences may make the companionship more interesting.

.....

"Husbands must be considerate of their wives, who have the greater responsibility not only of bearing children but of caring for them through childhood, and should help them conserve their health and strength. Married couples should exercise self-control in all of their relationships. They should seek inspiration from the Lord in meeting their marital challenges and rearing their children according to the teachings of the gospel.”

~

Husbands, wives, respect one another. Live worthy of the respect of one another. Cultivate that kind of respect which expresses itself in kindness, forbearance, patience, forgiveness, true affection, without officiousness and without show of authority.

~

2. The Soft Answer

I pass now to the second cornerstone. For want of a better name I call it the soft answer.

The writer of Proverbs long ago declared, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).

.....

It seems to me that communication is essentially a matter of talking with one another. Let that talk be quiet for quiet talk is the language of love. It is the language of peace. It is the language of God. It is when we raise our voices that tiny mole hills of difference become mountains of conflict.

.....

There is need for much discipline in marriage, not of one’s companion but of one’s self. Husbands, wives, remember, “He [or she] that is slow to anger is better than the mighty” (Proverbs 16:32). Cultivate the art of the soft answer. It will bless your homes, it will bless your lives, it will bless your companionships, it will bless your children.

~

3. Financial Honesty

Cornerstone number three is financial honesty. I am satisfied that money is the root of more trouble in marriage than all other causes combined. 

.....

Those who live honestly with God are more likely to live honestly with one another and their associates. Further, as they budget for their tithes and offerings they will cultivate a discipline in the handling of their resources.

~

4. Family Prayer

The final cornerstone on which to build your home is family prayer. I know of no other practice that will have so salutary an effect upon your lives as will the practice of kneeling together in prayer. The very words, Our Father in Heaven, have a tremendous effect. You cannot speak them with sincerity and with recognition without having some feeling of accountability to God. The little storms that

seem to afflict every marriage become of small consequence while kneeling before the Lord and addressing him as a suppliant son and daughter.

~

Your daily conversations with him will bring peace into your hearts and a joy into your lives that can come from no other source. Your companionship will sweeten through the years. Your love will strengthen. Your appreciation one for another will grow.

Obviously I had a hard time cutting things out. 

After me, Dalin shared a talk he had chosen entitled, "Have I Ever Told You...?" by Mark E. Martinsen. 

It speaks of sharing stories with your children to instill in them a sense of heritage. I loved the portion that Dalin shared with me. I think this is a terrific tradition in the making. I know that I love hearing the stories that my family holds dear--particularly those that teach lessons and truth. 

If you want to read the article Dalin shared with me, you can find it here!

We read our chapter in the Book of Mormon afterward, and sang a song together. 

(I'll be the first to say that neither of us sing that well and so Dalin chose for us to sing "White Christmas" and we sang the entire thing). 

This is my favorite version of the song--I am in love with the classic Christmas songs:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJSUT8Inl14

Cute FHE job board--Dalin and I have one given to us from his mom--
this isn't it, but someday I will post a picture!

I loved the Spirit that brought to our home. It made me feel so happy. I thought, "We are doing this. We did it." We had our first Family Home Evening in a while and intend to make it a habit in our lives. 

I am grateful to have a supportive husband who can be so insightful. I love him lots! 

What do you do for FHE?  Do you have any fun ideas?