iWant

I'm not particularly in the mood to write a long, interesting post, but I need to distract myself from wanting to meet (so badly) this sweet little girl inside me. So I thought I would share what I want for the future of the little Gunnell family:

First off, I want more kids. Our first isn't quite here but already I feel more excited to become a mom than anything. I have wanted to be a mother all my life and I am so thankful that I will be able to start this exciting and fun journey with Dalin really soon (I hope!!). I bet many of you are thinking, isn't it a little premature to be thinking about baby #2 already? I don't feel like it is. Anyone who grew up with me knows I have always wanted a larger family (six or seven children to be more specific), and if I am to achieve that goal I need to get a move on! ;) But seriously, I am extremely grateful for how easy I have had it so far. My pregnancy has been long but wonderful. Particularly when I hear about the experiences of other women, I realize I have nothing to complain about. I am so looking forward to giving birth. In Spanish, the phrase for "giving birth" is dar a luz. I love that because directly translated it means, "to give a light." Children of Heavenly Father are lights when they come to this earth and I cannot wait to meet our sweet little daughter of God. 

Second, I want our daughter (and our other children, too) to learn Spanish. I am not sure why this is so important to me, but it always has been. I really want my children to be bilingual so that they might have many options available to them in the future. I'm not too concerned about her learning English. I am sure I will speak to her in English more often than I would like and everyone around her will be speaking English, too. The thing is, I love Spanish, and my latin friends tell me I'm pretty good at speaking it... But I certainly am not fluent. Dalin knows Spanish from his mission in San Diego and I've been informed by several of his mission friends that he is amazing at it. So together we should be able to be successful, right? It obviously isn't my first language and it will be a challenge to tell myself to speak to her in Spanish, but it is important to me that my children learn as much as they can.

Third, I want to organize our home--on several levels. I want our home to be a place of peace and welcoming. I want others to feel the Spirit when they enter our home. I want it to be clean and organized, and I want to de-clutter our lives and learn to focus on establishing gospel principles in our home. Hopefully we can take President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's words to heart: "It is good advice to slow down a little, steady the course, and focus on the essentials." As Elder Dallin H. Oaks once taught, "We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families." The gospel is our priority. Returning to our Father in Heaven is our ultimate goal. I want to be with my family forever.

Fourth, I want to save for our future home. I am not positive where our family will end up, (though I have some ideas) but I know that I want a humble home that I feel I can maintain and work on and beautify. I want to have a modest-sized home (despite our supposedly large family) because I want to be able to afford to do things. I want to travel with Dalin and our children. I want to be able to visit family whenever we want. I want to be able to bring our kids to places and teach them to value experiences and lessons over possessions. I would much rather go places as a family than have lots of things. I love Elder Dallin H. Oaks' quote: "In choosing how we spend time as a family, we should be careful not to exhaust our available time on things that are merely good and leave little time for that which is better or best." Quality family time is much more important than having a lot of new things. "The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives." (Elder Oaks). 

Fifth, I want to finish school and work toward developing a part-time career that I can do in our home with my children. I think it is important that I contribute to our income in whatever way possible, though my first priority is raising our children in the gospel. Whether I contribute by selling my artwork, teaching art classes, writing a fantastic blog (ha ha), or editing or even writing books (like I ultimately would like to), I want to feel as though I am helping our family in that small way. I enjoy doing projects and creating things and I hope I will be able to cultivate those talents and interests in my children's own lives. 

Sixth, I want to raise our children with a firm foundation in the gospel of Jesus Christ. They will have their agency and they may choose to take a route that strays from our faith, but I hope by establishing a good base, they will ultimately choose for themselves the way of the gospel. I know it brings the truest happiness and is the only means by which we can live with our families forever.

What are your family or personal goals? 

Light

Sometimes I think, "What is the point of having a blog?" It takes up a lot of time, adds a little bit of stress to my life when I can't think of something to say or when I realize I haven't posted in forever, and truthfully--not that many people read it (it tells me that...embarrassing!).

But sometimes I genuinely enjoy writing about a topic that I want to discuss. I want people to know how I feel on certain issues because that's just how I was raised. I'm somewhat outspoken and I like to share what I think. It doesn't bother me if people know a little too much about my life--I just want to be honest. I want everyone to know that I am okay with being "weird" or "different" (which comes naturally when you're a Latter-day Saint I think...). 

One of my friend's dads in high school told me that he thought I was so great because I am "so down to earth." I seriously did not even fully understand what that meant until I got older, but I assumed it was a compliment. Now I see what he means. I am pretty down to earth. I try to be positive and happy (and for the most part I am), but I have also matured enough that I can be realistic and recognize that I probably will not make a difference in more than a few people's lives. I am aware of the impact I had in high school as one of very few Latter-day Saints (less than ten throughout my four years there) and remember being told, "Olivia, you are so happy." Another asked me, "Olivia, why are you so happy all the time? And why are you so nice to everyone?" I don't know if they knew why there was such a noticeable difference in me then, but I know now that it was the light that is in everyone who knows and tries to live the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is truly amazing that we can see the happiness in others just by the light they emit from their eyes. 

I love this quote by Elder Eyring in our church, who explains what that light is:

"Every child of Heavenly Father born in the world is given at birth, as a free gift, the Light of Christ. You have felt that. It is the sense of what is right and what is wrong and what is true and what is false. That has been with you since your journey in life began." 

~Henry B. Eyring

I also love this one by Roald Dahl, (who is not LDS) as he recognizes that kindness and goodness make a person attractive more than anything else:

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

~Roald Dahl

I believe it is important that we be the type of people that radiate light. No matter what you believe, if you are standing for something that you instinctually know is inherently good, then go for it. I know my daughter will be a light in my life and I hope that I, as her mother, can teach her to recognize good from evil as she is raised in a world that is so much more wicked than the one in which I was born.

So I guess, my thought for today is shine the light. Everyone has a light. Channel yours and brighten it.

Also! I dare you to watch this quick video...and I dare you not to cry (it's a happy cry):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aup9M5HZawI

Pay attention to how you feel.