Dear Pregnant Ladies: Sharing 15 Facts

For all you pregnant ladies out there, here are some things for you to know about giving birth and post-partum info. I'm certainly no expert, but I read enough stuff to know what information is actually useful. You've all read about the sleepless nights and intensity of labor. But I want to share a more positive (but still realistic) perspective. I go into great detail in some areas, so this is more of a "women only" post. Unless your wife has already given birth, in which case, you'll probably understand.

1. First off, it's wonderful and possibly the best moment of your life. I loved giving birth, as you can read about right here, and would do it again in a heartbeat. It's so totally and completely worth it, no matter what you go through to get there. That first time you hold your little baby after he or she's out, you'll understand. Apart from my wedding day, I didn't know if I'd ever been happier. And it was a close call. So just know that what you go through is worth it. And if you're positive about it like I was, you might even love it.

2. You might just pee, poop, or throw up while giving birth. It stinks, but it can happen. But the good news is, it might not! None of those things happened to me. And like anyone, I had been fearing it tremendously. Throwing up usually happens because the epidural can make you feel pretty nauseous (not enough to scare me away from getting it again though!) but my nausea wasn't any worse than the morning sickness I'd experienced during my first trimester. As you'll hear a thousand times over, if any of these things should happen to you, don't worry--doctors have seen it all, and more good news: you might not even know if you do. I had to ask after because I had no idea what was happening down there, (and honestly, it sure felt like something happened) but apparently nothing did. And even more good news: I can almost 100% guarantee you won't give a crap if it does happen. You might, like me, even want it to happen (weird, I know). During my labor, the pressure on my rectum (sorry, gross word) was so intense that I felt like I was experiencing the worst constipation in my entire life and at the time, I just wanted to feel relieved from that pressure. You just get to the point where you accept that whatever is going to happen is going to happen, and nothing matters but getting that baby out! So, basically, Hakuna Matata, right? No worries.

3. While in labor and for a while after giving birth, you might shake. Like a lot. I kind of looked like I was freezing to death. Or having a mini-seizure. But I felt fine--I just could not control my arms, hands, or my jaw! My teeth chattering was the most annoying thing because it affected my speaking. Everyone kept asking if I was cold, but I wasn't--I just couldn't stop. I think I heard someone call these "labor shakes" (makes sense) and other than being really annoying, they aren't a big deal. I believe they are caused by adrenaline and are really nothing to worry about. Just anticipate it because a lot of women get them.

4. At first, while pushing, you will probably feel like you CAN'T DO IT. That is how my mom felt, that is how I felt, and I'm positive that is how countless other women felt when they began pushing. It seems impossible. It is impossible. It makes no sense to me that an 8lb 3oz baby came out of such a small place. Even now, three months later, I occasionally find myself wondering how our baby came out of me. You'll find yourself, as I have, holding your son or daughter on your belly and wondering how he or she possibly could have fit inside you. It makes no logical sense, but somehow it's possible. It's a miracle. An infinite number of women have had and will continue to have babies. You can do it. When the doctor got a mirror while I was pushing and I saw how little of my daughter's head was visible when I was pushing at my very hardest, I thought, She is never coming out. I might have even said it aloud. After four hours, my doctor thought I might have to go with a C-section, she was so stuck. I didn't give up, and with the help of forceps, she finally came out--very cone-headed, but perfectly fine. When you are in that moment of despair, keep the thought in the back of your head that you can do it. You have to. That baby can't stay in there forever even though it seems like it. And if you end up having a C-section, don't worry and DON'T feel bad. Don't let anyone make you feel like your birth experience was less special or less right because you did it differently. That's what my doctor had to tell me when I was feeling frustrated that I wasn't going to have the natural, epidural-free birth I wanted. But you know what? Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing. Except maybe I'd have asked that we could try the forceps sooner than four hours...

5. Your baby will look like an alien when he or she comes out. So don't be freaked out. Some babies are gray, some are purple, some are pink, some are covered in blood, and ALL are soaking wet and not as sweet as you might have pictured. Tenley had the hugest cone-head from being in the birth canal for four hours. I didn't have time to process it at the time though because they immediately set her down to be measured, washed up, and swaddled. Then, when they did hand her to me, they had put a hat on her head which covered up the worst of it. When I saw her cone-head uncovered later that night, I'll admit I was a tad worried for her, but it went down significantly by the next day and even more so in the days that followed. At three months, Tenley's head looked completely normal to me. You, like me, might not think that most just-born babies are that pretty to look at, but I am certain that nothing will look more beautiful to you than your own baby. Only a mother's love, I tell you.

6. For a while, you will be VERY swollen down there. It is not pretty. In fact, it's really ugly. My swelling lasted maybe four days, which I think is longer than normal, but I also pushed REALLY HARD for four hours. And that isn't normal at all (my doctor told me he's never had anyone push as long as I did) so don't worry. But I'll tell you, the first time I went to the bathroom after giving birth--with the assistance of my nurses because I couldn't walk by myself--I looked down and was like WOAH. I seriously did not recognize myself. But the nurses assured me that swelling was normal, though mine was worse than most. I don't want to go into detail, but basically I was kind of really grossed out about how things looked for a few days. Luckily, I was encouraged to take lots of hot baths while at the hospital (and at home) which really helps. It also feels amazing. I took four or five baths at the hospital and was encouraged to take more while there but I just wanted to be with my husband and baby.

7. Going to the bathroom is different for a while. This I had not known at all! It makes sense, but my mind was in other places when I thought about birth. My experience will surely be unique from your own, but hopefully this will help prepare you. After the epidural wore off, the nurses removed the catheter (which is kind of cool but really weird--in case you don't know, it catches your pee and is like a little straw that they insert you-know-where, then they inflate a tiny bubble when it's in you so it stays there. I could feel when it was in--it didn't really hurt, but it was obvious that something was there. I could also feel it catching my pee. That sounds weird, but I couldn't control it, and it just kind of constantly flowed into a little bag until they removed it) and then escorted me to the bathroom. Note: I could hardly walk, A) because the epidural hadn't worn off 100%, B) I was exhausted, and C) I must have twisted my leg while pushing because one of the joints of my leg was hurting and it was really hard to walk on it, so the nurses basically dragged/carried/completely supported me while I walked limped like a zombie/bowlegged cowboy toward the bathroom. I kept apologizing to them, mostly because I felt bad and was embarrassed because I was dripping blood on the floor and because I felt completely weak and helpless, but they were so nice and understanding because it is of course their job to help you in this situation. The nurse even helps you um...clean yourself, after you use the bathroom. Mostly because it becomes a kind of complicated routine for the next week or two. They give you these horribly un-cute mesh undies to put on, and put the biggest sanitary pad you've ever seen in your life down on them. Then they put a glove filled with ice cubes into a sock and put that thing down on the pad, then they put little circular witch hazel pads down on the sock, then, once you've gone as much as you can (I peed a lot, and though it is scary to go number 2--especially if, like me, you received stitches--try to be brave and go if you can because you'll feel worse if you hold it in--and hopefully they've given you stool softener pills to take--I took some a few days prior to my scheduled induction because a friend wisely advised me to do so), they will fill a little squirt bottle for you with warm to hot water and you use that to clean yourself. I had no idea about this stuff until a few days beforehand, but the hot water feels amazingly soothing. I love that bottle thing. Once you've watered yourself down, you can use toilet paper to very gently pat dry (it's pointless to do so though because you're going to feel wet for a few days anyway) and then they spray you and your witch hazel pads with a numbing spray, (which I did not think numbed me that well, but oh well) and THEN you pull your underwear up with the pad, ice pack, and witch hazel pads in them and waddle (or limp if you're me) back to bed. So you see, using the bathroom becomes quite the process for a couple of weeks, but gradually you eliminate the ice pack and move to smaller pads, then stop using the spray and witch hazel pads until you're just using regular pads and (if you want to) using the spray bottle until your stitches have dissolved. This is not the rest of your life, so don't worry!

8. The bleeding might not be as bad as people say. For me, after the fourth day, my bleeding went down to less than the heaviest day of my period. I was kind of worried at first because everyone said the flow will be heavy for two weeks, but mine wasn't. In fact, it was hardly anything for the next few weeks. It did not go away completely until about five weeks, but it certainly was not what I'd been told to anticipate. A few times, the blood was brown or a chunk (sorry) would come out, but nurses reassured me that was all normal. The solid pieces that fall out are blood clots and small ones are normal. The only thing that is worrisome is if the bleeding increases or turns to gushing, or if you lose a clot the size of your fist (The size of your fist, you ask? Remember a whole baby came out of you). But everything else is pretty normal. It was kind of like having a long but light period for me. Everyone is different, but you might not bleed as much as you think.

9. Your belly will still be much larger than you'd think afterward. It's unfortunate, and I kept hoping that wouldn't be the case for me, but it was. Your belly will feel really weird, too. It weirded me out to push on the flabby thing that it had become because it feels kind of like jello. Or like one of those memory foam mattresses because when you push on it, it slowly fills in again. Thankfully, it's very temporary and the first week or two are by far the worst. Which brings me to my next point--

10. Breastfeeding can be a miraculous weight-loss exercise (for some people). Lots of people say so, but I didn't know how true it was until I was at a month post-partum and (much to my surprise) was feeling close to my normal self without having done virtually ANY other exercises. If you can breastfeed, DO IT. I know it is hard for many women for various reasons, but be persistent for a few weeks and if it gets easier (like it should for most women), keep going! I am definitely not anti-formula, but I am pro-breastfeeding. It's good for your baby and for you and it's free. Also, I am not sure how common it is for nurses to offer this (mine did), but I would not hesitate to ask for a nipple shield. It's a thin, clear plastic thing that protects your sensitive areola skin and it made nursing a bazillion times easier for me (with both babies). I think the shield is only intended to be used for a few weeks until the baby gets used to nursing, but I used mine for four months with Tenley and two months with my second, Declan. With the shield, I never had soreness or dryness or any of those things you read about and I attribute it to this amazing invention, which you can view here (I believe they're $9 at Wal-Mart. Worth it a million times over). And though lanolin cream is amazing, I haven't ever actually needed to use it because of the shield.

Quick update: I will tell you that I have received many comments from people who say that the nipple shield ruined their experience, but I have two other friends who, like me, felt that the shield saved their breastfeeding experience. I think it may depend also on how long you choose to use it. For me personally, and two of my friends, we used the shield quite a bit past the suggested time. I used mine for about 4 months until I decided I wanted to get my baby to adapt without it. The week transitioning was rough--not for Tenley, who thankfully figured it out quickly (and by then, my nipples were not so flat or inverted)--but for me and my nipples. Suddenly I understood the pain people were talking about. It took about a week for my skin to toughen up, and in the meantime, my nipples were more sore than usual, but I persevered and now I hope I can avoid using the shield with future pregnancies. In the end, I am just thankful that I was able to do it because (especially now 11 months later) I truly believe in the benefits of breast milk and nursing!

More about breastfeeding (if you are interested): as you are probably aware if you've read any books, the stuff your baby gets from you the first several days is a fatty substance called colostrum (or first milk). I know for me, I worried my baby wasn't getting enough to eat because the stuff doesn't exactly flow out like milk. But that's normal. Around day four or five post-partum, my milk came in. And then I KNEW it. I had been wondering the days before if the change in colostrum was milk. But when it happened, it was very obvious (and very white). It seriously happened overnight. I woke up and my breasts were HUGE. Like so big, I was disgusted (I do not personally care for big boobs, especially on me). And it wasn't long before the leaking began. Yes, you leak. If you're like me, you'll leak a lot. That was the worst thing for me for a while. I woke up a few nights in a huge puddle of milk. It felt like I'd wet my bra and shirt. But after a couple of weeks, my body regulated itself and things got a lot easier and a lot less wet. Also, in case you didn't know (because I know I didn't), when you nurse on one side, you leak on the other side. That's where these babies come in handy. If you intend to breastfeed, I personally think these breast cups are must-haves for a few reasons. If you're wondering what you do with them, it's pretty simple. While you nurse on one side, you put a cup over your nipple on the other side to catch the leaking milk. During my first two weeks or so, I would fill the other cup (they would actually overflow) with milk, which I decided to save in a sanitized bottle to store for later. I truly don't know how moms even want to breastfeed without these things. They save you from tons of messes and from spending tons of money on nursing pads which get expensive! By the way, if and when you do get nursing pads, I strongly advise getting Johnson's. I hated all of the other types I tried (and I tried like four other types because ladies gave me some). Another useful tool while breastfeeding is a nursing pillow. I've heard great things about the "Boppy" pillow, but I got mine for FREE (other than shipping!) by signing up for a free account at Motherhood Maternity (they sent me home with tons of amazing coupons include a code to get a free nursing pillow!). Here is the link to the site where I got mine (I have the red Starry Night one). I could spend an entire post on breastfeeding but the point is, there are tons of great tools and resources out there to make breastfeeding a lot easier for you. The hospital will likely offer you the chance to visit with a lactation specialist and give you plenty of pamphlets on places you can go to get help with breastfeeding. Plus the people at WIC are really pro-breastfeeding and have lots of free resources to help new moms. You can do it! It can be hard, but it's worth it.

Update: I just want to clarify that I am not anti-formula at all! Formula is truly amazing these days. But it's very expensive. And it doesn't go through babies as easily as breastmilk (which is also FREE!). Regardless, I don't want anyone to feel bad AT ALL if they choose to use formula (I was given formula myself as a baby for about six months)--you do what you can for your baby and yourself. I just personally really love nursing and want to encourage other moms to go for it if they can! (It's also something that is not worth stressing about because in the long-run, it won't matter to you, so don't feel bad either way).

11. The first two weeks are the worst. It gets better. I remember feeling so discouraged about my body and thinking I'd never be the same again. I was swollen and lumpy and did not feel very cute. But like I mentioned, by one month postpartum, I couldn't believe how much better I felt. I was almost back to normal--or at least, feeling normal. Going to the bathroom was less complicated. I began to have hope that I would be able to reach my pre-pregnancy weight sooner than I'd anticipated. My stitches had finally dissolved completely. Just plan for those first two weeks to be hard. Expect it. But remember that they will be over before you know it and you'll feel SO much better. You will be able to wipe again normally! You can get through it! And in the meantime, let people take care of you. This is your chance to ask your husband, family members, friends, ward members, and neighbors for lots of help. Ask for meals to be brought to you. If you need something from the store, let someone do it for you. You need the service and you're providing an opportunity for someone else's life to be blessed by offering their service to you. Win-win.

12. Stretch marks can appear after you've had the baby. It stinks, but it happened to me. I had only a few small stretch marks on my butt and hips before Tenley was born. But after, I got them on the upper part of the back of my thighs, bigger ones on my butt and hips, and even under my breasts, which I was not expecting. When you gain or lose a lot of weight really quickly, that's what happens. It doesn't happen to everyone--my sister-in-law I'm pretty sure only got a few on her butt--and some lucky ladies don't get any, but try to think of them as little marks of proof that you've created a miracle. Fortunately for most LDS women, they're usually in places that no one but your husband will ever see anyway. And they do fade quite a bit within a year. Mine kind of look like tiger claw marks. Even though it may be hard at first (truthfully, it was for me), embrace those purply-pink stripes because if you want more kids, you'll more than likely get them. And to me, if a few marks are the cost of creating a human being, they're totally worth it.

Update: I actually have grown to like the stretch marks on my thighs and sides now (not so much the ones under my bellybutton which came with my second baby because I look kind of wrinkly, but oh well;)! They marks are kind of silvery and faded and I like that they show I am a mother (especially because people rarely think I look my age).

13. You're going to be given a lot of  advice about raising your child. Some good, some awful. For some reason, when people see children, they can't help but speak their opinion--wanted or not--about how they should be raised. I'm sure many of these people mean well, but what was best for their sister's child or their neighbor's or their own child is NOT necessarily the best for yours. I suggest you plan how you will handle the unwanted suggestions before it happens to you otherwise you might be caught off guard by the outrageousness or rudeness. Personally, I think being kind is the best choice, so I just say, "Oh thank you for telling me your opinion," and let them think they gave me some life-changing advice. Motherhood also comes with a lot of judgment. I could speak volumes on this subject, but simply put, do your own thing. Forget what other moms are saying they're doing. You're going to do just fine and you know what is best for your children. Which brings us to this:

14. YOU know your own child best. You and no one else. Even better than your husband. It's true. Moms just spend so much time around their child that they cannot help but learn their signals and even their cries. My husband will often say, "Dear, she's hungry!" about our daughter, and I'll reply, "No honey, she's just tired." You really can tell. Sometimes--possibly more often than you'd like--you will feel overwhelmed by your baby's crying. Tenley hardly cried compares to most babies and I still felt (and feel) overwhelmed at times. Declan's behavior as a baby has been more average, but his crying doesn't stress me out so much. I think maybe I'm just used to it. But sometimes, babies just cry, and no amount of feeding, burping, walking, or rocking will soothe them. Just remember that it will end. They can't cry forever. If they sense that you're upset or frustrated, it only gets worse. So set your baby down in a safe spot for a few minutes, walk away, cry yourself, calm your nerves down so your baby will sense the change in your body language, check on her, pick her up and hold her close, and say a prayer. Remember that God loves that precious daughter of His and he will help you. To give an example, during one such episode of crying, I felt my frustration and dismay increasing to the point where I wanted to cry myself. Suddenly, I thought, She's Heavenly Father's daughter, too, and He cares about her happiness as much as I do. Then, while still walking around, bouncing Tenley in my arms, I prayed aloud: "Heavenly Father, please help Tenley feel happy. Please let her know she is loved and if she is feeling sick, please help me to know what to do so I can help her." As soon as I'd finished my plea, Tenley stopped crying. Like, right away. I couldn't believe it had happened so immediately, but I thanked Heavenly Father for choosing to answer my prayer directly at that time.

15. It really will feel like it flew by when you look back on it. Everyone says that, but I can't even believe how time has passed for me. Seriously, cherish every moment. Take a video at least once a week--you'll miss the newborn sounds and cries when your baby's voice changes. Take a photo every day. I'm serious. No one has ever regretted taking too many pictures of their child. Take baby footprints. And baby handprints. Snuggle your child. Keep a perspective. Think about how much you love those tender moments with your little one and remember that they won't always be as readily available. Memorize her face and the fragrant smell of her hair and skin. Kiss your child until your lips are chapped. There's no such thing as loving your baby too much. And they change SO fast! You won't even believe it.

Because this post has been so popular, I wrote this one on my additional thoughts as a second-time mom! Once again, my experience was wonderful (even better than the first time!) so I hope you'll read this if you are interested.

If you want to read more about pregnancy/giving birth, check out my official birth story, here!

What are some other tips pregnant ladies should know before going into labor? Postpartum?
If you had a different (but still positive) experience than me, please share! 

Post-Partum Weirdness: Reflecting on My First Pregnancy

I have a confession. And it will surely weird some people out. But I want to talk about it, so here it is:

Not only did I love being pregnant, but I loved giving birth. 

K, now feel free to call me odd, but even with four hours of pushing a little human person (with a huge head!) out of a place that does not quite seem big enough to do so, in a very weird--possibly sadistic--way, I enjoyed it. I can already hear some of you: What is she smoking? Well, trust me--I'm not smoking anything and I'd like to think I'm quite sound of mind, but it's true. Hear me out--

I had a very easy first pregnancy. I mean, complaints from previous posts aside, I look back and think, "Geez, that was nothing." And really, they weren't. If occasional discomfort is the trade for growing a little person that can make you happier than you ever dreamed, you'd think so too. I never threw up or had anything out-of-the-ordinary happen, and my doctor basically confirmed each visit that my pregnancy was what the medical world would label completely average. I had all the typical worries of a first-time mom, including (but not limited to) fear of miscarriage, fear of labor, and fear of being a crappy mom--but I got to the point where I realized that worrying did me NO good. Finally, I told myself that whatever is supposed to happen, will happen, and as long as I'm doing the best I can, it'll work out. If my child is supposed to live, she will. Take a deep breath and have faith.

Giving birth was hard. Like, the hardest thing I've ever done. But it felt like a kind of challenge--a good one. Having a baby (like actually giving birth) was, in a weird way, a high for me that I've never experienced before (obviously, but you know what I mean). It was invigorating. My feelings about this weren't instant...but it wasn't very long after having Tenley that I felt energized in an unexpected way. And it wasn't just adrenaline (because that does kick in when one is essentially trying to push a bowling ball out of a gum-ball machine). It was more than that--I felt like I had accomplished my potential as a woman. I did something that fewer than half of people alive today can do. I made a person! Not single-handedly, but let's be honest, I did most of the work in that respect.

I am no feminist, but if I were, I can tell you that more than anything else, having a baby helped me feel the measure of my creation. In other words, I'm glad I'm a woman. I'm glad God chose us to carry and deliver and raise his most precious beings.

And I want to do it again. 

See?? Look how happy I look! Of course this was also right after I'd gotten the epidural, but...

True happiness is holding your new baby.

Being a new mom has been amazing. Tenley has been really easy on me so far. She cries and wakes me up and poops a LOT like every baby, but based on the complaints I hear some mothers making, I have it super easy. My body, at three months post-partum, is almost completely back to what it was before I got pregnant, which I certainly never expected (and which I know is NOT the experience for most women--breastfeeding was the key for me if you're wondering! If you can do it, DO!). I've finally established some form of a normal routine again. But most important of all: I'm happy. She's happy. Husband's happy. Life is good--to put it mildly. And this happiness I've never felt is so great that I want to share it. And feed it. By adding more humans to our family.

And while I'm thinking about it--right here, right now, I'm vowing NOT to look at useless advice on the Internet for child #2. Seriously, 92.5% of what I read was--there's no other way to say it--complete CRAP, at least for me. It didn't apply to me or my situation, and nothing that the millions of ladies on the motherhood/pregnancy chats said, happened to me. My personal situation was unique. If you're a woman, your personal situation will be unique. Or your wife's will be. If and when the time comes, trust your instincts and motherly intuition, and more than anything TRUST GOD. He loves you. He cares about you and your worries. Like this pin says:

Does anyone feel the same way? 

In a weird way did you like giving birth?

Anyone disagree?

41 Weeks Pregnant (Blah!)

I'm a little miffed to say I did not think I would get to this point but here I am. The part that is slightly relieving (and slightly stressful) is that I've been scheduled to be induced for tomorrow Monday morning apparently at 6:30am! Umm, we were told to call and pick a time...obviously we would have chosen a more reasonable hour like 8 or 9am or something, but oh well. I guess she'll be here sooner than we thought! I'm slightly stressed because I did not want to be induced and it makes me anxious that we now know when we are going to the hospital and that after that we will have our baby girl here, but I am excited, too. I haven't been scared about the giving birth part for a while, but I am scared about being put on Pitocin since that is most likely what they'll do, and it bothers me knowing that almost everyone who is put on Pitocin needs an epidural because it brings the contractions on so suddenly and intensely. I really don't want one. I am not opposed to epidurals, but I do not want to pay for one. So my plan has been to try and go natural this whole time but I feel like that dream is slipping out the window. I'm really frustrated about that but I can't let myself get stressed out or I'll probably get emotional. My doctor told me I'd be in charge but the lady on the phone from the hospital didn't make it sound like she was taking requests. If I had it my way, I would have them first try using just Cervidil to see if that was enough to push me over from a 3 to a 4cm (it worked for my friend), and if that didn't work, put me on Pitocin for a short while--just enough to get me going.

I just learned that my mom was on Pitocin the whole time when she was induced with me and she still didn't get an epidural so I guess it's not impossible. That's slightly relieving. I hate that I'm getting induced because I hate that I have time to attempt to plan and worry about the situation. If I had just gone into labor in the middle of the night I would just be worried about getting the baby out, not about all the stupid drugs everyone is trying to give me. So frustrating.

Well I'm trying to stay positive and have courage because I am really excited for our little girl to be here. More likely than not, we'll have her by tomorrow!!!!! So unreal. She has been very much anticipated for practically a year. (I can't believe I've been pregnant for 41 out of the last 52 weeks of a year...that's such a long time!) Week 40 went by a little faster than week 39 because I took everyone's advice and kept as busy as possible. When I get the time, I will share what's been going on lately. It's been awesome having my mom here and I can't believe she leaves in 10 days. We have plans to go to New Hampshire in 15 days! Our little girl will be two weeks old! I guess August has kind of flown by even though I didn't think so the last two weeks. 

Dalin is so ready for her to be here. I catch him in her room pretending to change her diaper and sitting in the chair in there. He tells me he is going to just hang out in there while she's sleeping and watch her and read to her. He always gets so happy when we talk about her being here. I'm convinced he's going to be the cutest dad of all time (I'm sure every wife thinks that, but I know it's true for him:). I can also tell he's going to be the nicer parent of the two of us, but we'll talk about that another time...

Wish me luck for tomorrow! Thankfully I have Dalin who can give me a blessing beforehand. I'm so blessed to have him! 

One of the last times it will be just the two of us! I love our family! 

39 Weeks, 4 Days Pregnant

I was feeling a bit too lazy and distracted to write about my experience again, but here is what I wrote (with a few changes) to my best friend Sarah Ayer in an email (she's serving a mission in Ecuador and so email is the only way to reach her kind of quickly):

I went to my 39-week appointment yesterday (it was Harry Potter's birthday, for anyone who forgot ;) and got my membranes stripped around 5pm. In case you don't know, that basically means the doctor puts his fingers through my cervix and separates the baby's sac from my uterus just around the opening. It sounds awful, but it didn't feel any worse than it does when he is checking my cervix...just tons of pressure (it feels like he's trying to put his hand all the way to my belly practically...ugh.). Also, I had heard that it hurts a lot, so I had a high pain expectation but it really wasn't bad. So I was at 1cm dilated and 60% effaced (same as last week...) which made me really sad. Like I started to cry because I was so frustrated that no progress had been made and I just want her to be here already. I'm tired of waiting. I was embarrassed that I cried, but my doctor was really understanding and he didn't seem too surprised that I was getting emotional.

So after my appointment, we stopped at Target for a short while to get a few things then headed home. When I used the bathroom I realized I was bleeding quite a bit. Enough that I freaked out because (depending on the circumstances) my doctor told me if I bleed and have cramping, it is an emergency for me and the baby because it means the placenta may have detached. He said like call 911 or go straight to the hospital. So naturally I panicked (thank goodness Dalin was calm) and we drove right to Orem Community Hospital. I was crying on the way because I was so scared something would happen to our sweet baby girl but I was too tense and nervous to calm down and check if she was moving at all.

They admitted me at the hospital and after not too long, checked my cervix and told me I was dilated to 2+ and more than 60% effaced! They also told me that bleeding after having one's membranes stripped is fairly common and usually nothing to worry about. (But it was a lot of blood I thought...more than just a little spotting). So they kept me for an hour and Dalin and I just watched TV  meanwhile and tried not to get too excited. After an hour, they checked me and said I was at 3cm and 80% effaced! So they held me for another hour, after which there was no change from the last time. So after speaking with my doctor, they sent us home but told us they think we'll likely be back in the next day or two!!!!!!

So our daughter is close to being here by the sound of things. I truly hope so. She has to come out sometime, right? I went to work today because I felt good this morning (I slept surprisingly well). While there, I had some more intense contractions and back pain but it was on and off and not very consistent. Since being home, the contractions have increased as the night has gone on. I felt some sharp pains the last few hours which I am pretty sure were the baby's head hitting my cervix but they stopped after I laid down for a while. 

Well we're going out to pick up my mom right now (she flew in two days early) so I'll have to finish this later! 

Pray our daughter comes to us safely and healthy! 

More Than Ready

Well, we're just ten days short of our due date and I am dead ready to go. 

We finally packed our hospital bag, though we could have done a better job. We just keep thinking once we need to go, we'll still have a little time to add last-minute things and we don't want to go to the hospital for a false alarm so we're going to wait things out as long as we can. I would go over what I put in our hospital bag, but right now I am extremely uncomfortable with the baby positioned as low as she is (she must have dropped more) and so I need to watch a movie or something to distract myself. I am growing increasingly frustrated because I haven't yet had any regular contractions (just occasional powerful waves) and my patience is waning. I know that the baby will come when she is supposed to but I can't take much more. 

Dalin, too, is growing impatient. He is so excited to be a dad. We talk about our daughter constantly and that is really the only thing we can think about. We've been taking our doctor's suggestions to heart, but the internet basically has informed us that there is no proof that anything really induces labor. She'll come when she's supposed to. I just hope for all our sakes that it's in the next week...

I'll write more later, but for now, please please please just pray our daughter comes soon or I'm going to go completely crazy. 

In the meanwhile, to keep me distracted, take a second to answer either of these:

When do you predict I'll go into labor? 
What was your experience as a first-time mom?

Attention Moms, Future Moms, & Soon-to-be Moms: Awesome Deals

I did not know this, and I thought it was too awesome not to share.

Apparently, when you make an account at the register of Motherhood Maternity, they give you a little gift bag that includes some samples, plus a bunch of papers with coupons and information about cord blood banking, etc. I was about to throw it all away when I realized that some of the discounts are actually really good including a few that give you items 100% free!

I just got a carseat cover, nursing cover, nursing pillow, and sling for FREE besides shipping! (It's like $12 shipping for each item, but so worth it because the items all together would have cost more than $165, plus I needed all of these things!)

They have cute patterns for each item and after you make your first purchase, they provide a code that you can use for the other sites and get more stuff for 100% free. I figured they would make me buy something else in order to get the deal, but all I had to do was pay for shipping. I should receive the items next week so I will let you know how they turn out but I've heard from a few people that they loved everything they got. I am so excited!!!!! I also received a $20 giftcard to Shutterfly (which allows you to make some kind of online album, etc. so I will be saving that for when our tiny sweetheart is born!)

Here are the sites:

carseatcanopy.com

I loved this one... 

Grey and white damask print with lavender minky material

....but ultimately decided on this one (because it was more gender neutral and I have to have sons someday...we're the only ones carrying on the Gunnell name! Eek!).

Black and white pattern with grey minky material

uddercovers.com

This is the one I chose:

This one is called Taylor and I love how bright and happy it is!

sevenslings.com

I had the hardest time picking a sling pattern!

I chose the lavender Koi pattern even though I loved the Sonic, Black, and Cyrus ones, too.

nursingpillow.com

I am so glad I was able to find one of these for a great price! I know I'll be needing it. 

This is Starry Night, but I liked Serenity a lot, too!

Anyway, the stuff is pretty cute and I was able to get a great deal, so I hope this helps someone else! Three of the codes they gave me that I didn't need to use (because I already had some from Motherhood Maternity) were: UCOVERS, CARSEAT, and SEVEN, so try them out (each one should work for all four sites unless they've been taken by someone else).

Did you know about this? If so, what other great deals are out there for baby stuff that I should know about??

Things I've Taken For Granted

Dropped an entire bag of goldfish the other day. Saddest thing ever. Good thing I took a pic of this, right?

Since being pregnant, there are a lot of things I never realized I had taken for granted. Here are a few that come to mind. I'm sure the list is endless though.

1. The ability to slip into jeans (or pretty much anything) without it being a tremendous hassle

2. Being able to do simple things around the house...like bend over and pick up Dalin's socks

3. Being able to sleep without interruption. I have almost forgotten what that's like. I probably won't know again for a long time

4. Feeling in control of my emotions. Crying is so annoying

5. Being able to buckle my seatbelt easily

6. Feeling somewhat fit...sigh...no more of that for a while

7. Being able to squeeze through small spaces without hitting my belly on something

8. Having no real physical ailments. Now I know what back pain is. And acid reflux

9. Being able to sit or stand for as long as I want without my body going haywire

10. My ankles and feet--when they didn't feel fat

11. Having energy

12. Not having to think about what foods or medicine go in my body

13. Having control over my bladder (aka being able to hold it)

14. Kneeling. And crawling. And sitting cross-legged. And getting up off the ground

15. Not feeling SO darn slow. Why can't I walk faster!?

16. Feeling cute. I don't anymore. Just annoyed when I see how big I am getting

17. Not feeling the need to take a nap...all the time

This is all I can think of for now. I need to go take a nap (ha ha) so I can have the energy to do something productive. I want to pick up and get rid of some clutter, I really want to clean the bathtub (stupid bare feet), and I want to make some kind of delicious dessert for Dalin because I've put him through a lot the last few days. Not on purpose. But he is my only support around here and the only one I can cry to (which I hate doing, but he loves me so it's okay).

I will be SO much happier when this baby is out. Everyone keeps telling me about all the sleep I won't get and how I'll have no energy, etc...well as long as the pains go away, I honestly don't care about anything else. 

What did you take for granted or miss while pregnant? 

Fourth of July Weekend & 36 Weeks!

As you may have been able to tell from my latest album on Facebook, Dalin and I spent the Fourth of July with his family here in Provo. They stayed in our apartment which is infinitely cooler since they hooked up the A/C unit the Ritchie's (previous tenants in our apartment) left us. I was anxious because the A/C unit looks old and was quite dusty from sitting on the porch for the last year. But THANK HEAVENS it works perfectly. We would be dying without it. 

Our weekend included Fourth of July attire, a visit to the mall, movies, golf (for the men), fireworks, hilarious games, dining out, a day trip to Lagoon Park and Lagoon A Beach, Church, and Sunday dinner. Walking down University Parkway toward the Stadium of Fire to watch the fireworks and spending more than eight hours walking at Lagoon might be too much for some pregnant ladies...but not for me, though my feet truly ached at the end of every night. I almost wished we had saved those trips until 38 or 39 weeks so it might have helped my labor along because I guarantee the baby would have dropped at least a little. Plus, playing games like Bea Arthur and Group Pictionary would have been enough to get my labor going probably--we laughed so hard during both games that my abs were aching by the end of the night. It was such a fun time! We seriously had a blast and were not looking forward to our family's return to Boise. 

In other news, I had my 36 week appointment (which involved the strep B test--which was nothing at all) on Monday, during which my doctor checked my progress for me (he was already doing other things so I thought, why not?). He said I didn't seem to be dilated yet (which is good I guess, since it would have been a full month early) but I was 50% effaced (which means my cervix is thinning) and that is good. It must be from all the walking. Seriously. Overall, things went well and Dr. Pace told me he fully expects me to have a good experience without complications. I sure hope he is right! 

Pregnancy updates at 36 weeks: 

Weighing in at a ripe 133 lbs

My stomach measures at 34cm

I'm 50% effaced (but no dilation and only slight dropping)

A few stretch marks appearing (Dalin claims they aren't noticeable, but they are to me)

Experiencing occasional tightening or most likely, Braxton Hicks (not painful, just noticeable)

The right side of my lower back is sore (I think from how I've been sleeping on it)

Peeing frequently (but not very much...so annoying!)

Baby girl is as active as ever: kicking, stretching, hiccuping

Baby prefers the right side of my belly--she's almost always over there

My feet are at least a size larger (hopefully temporarily)--I couldn't even get them in my sister's Toms!

Now there is nothing I can do but be patient and pray that (for my sake) she comes a little early or on time. Dr. Pace is vacationing next week, so as long as she comes after 37 weeks, I'll be happy!!!!!!

Do you think baby girl will be early, late, or on time? 

Were you early, late, or on time? (I was like 9 days late...)

Being Pregnant: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

I want to end on a positive note, so I'm going to begin this list in reverse. 
The Ugly~
1. Swelling legs and feet. I don't think I've had this visibly yet, however I have felt the effects. My feet ache from the weight of being on them for a long period of time, and my legs have started to feel numb when I use them a lot. 
2. Stretch marks. I have not spotted any yet, but it's only a matter of time. Most appear in the last few weeks of pregnancy. 
3. Feeling full to the point of bursting after eating too quickly. This happens to normal people, too, but when there is a baby taking up more stomach space, it feels really uncomfortable. 
4. Acid reflux. I have only experienced this one time and it was after drinking an entire can of Inca Cola (which I think has caffeine in it). It didn't hurt, but it felt like I had vomit coming up my throat for several hours. No more of that...ever.
5. Unfixable muffin top. I can't do anything about it while pregnant except deal with it. And try to wear clothes that don't pronounce it. 
6. Worrying about my body post-baby. I shouldn't care about this, but it's hard not to worry a little. I want to be able to do the things I normally do. And I don't want to feel un-cute. Hopefully breastfeeding will slim me down a lot more quickly. 

The Bad~
1. Waiting, waiting, waiting. It feels like she's never coming.
2. Getting emotional over new things. Like children getting hurt (even if it's on TV and it's fake). Or babies. Or when I mess up because of my pregnant body. 
3. Nothing from my old wardrobe fits. Even jeans that were big for me pre-pregnancy don't fit. Baggy shirts that seem promising? My belly still pokes out at the bottom. And worst of all, sometimes I don't notice right away until I feel a sudden breeze...also, maternity clothes are expensive! I'm pretty cheap so this is really frustrating for me--I just don't want to buy clothes I can only wear for like four months at a time! 
4. Feeling guilty. I wanted to wash the dishes and do the laundry and pick up the house...but I just couldn't do it all. 
5. Feeling overwhelmed. I have so many things I should and could be doing. I just can't anymore.
6. Perpetual exhaustion. Feeling tired (or never feeling energized) never seems to go away. 
7. Clumsiness. I dropped an entire bag of goldfish this morning. Then I was too frustrated and emotional about it, that I couldn't pick them up right away. 
8. Belly being in the way. I spill even a drop, it is guaranteed to land on my belly. I have also hit my belly into corners and things a few times which really hurts and freaks me out (I worry I've hurt the baby). 
9. Inability to pick things up easily. Sometimes I use my feet to pick something up because it's just so hard to bend over with a big belly in the way. And sometimes (I hate this) I bend down to get something but can't make it on my first try because my legs weren't spread enough to make room for my belly. 
10. Peeing. Often. Standing up, climbing stairs, descending stairs, getting out of bed, adjusting my legs, drinking something, baby squishing my bladder--all of these bring about an instant need to pee. And it's most annoying when it's only like a teaspoon's worth. So many ten-second trips to the bathroom it drives me crazy.
11. Leaking. From a few spots. Enough said...
12. Inability to sit on the ground. On my butt? No. Cross-legged? Nope. Kneeling? Definitely not. If I do these things anyway, I lose circulation in just a few minutes. 
13. Getting asked all the time about when you're due. If I weren't so impatient, maybe I wouldn't mind. But now it's just tiresome because I'm already counting down the days. 

The Good~
1. Knowing I'm bringing a new little spirit child into the world. And knowing she has unmeasurable potential. 
2. Growing our family! So excited to have a family of three!
3. Creating life. It is so cool that women have the ability to bring tiny new humans to this earth. I love reading about what is happening to my body and knowing that I have all the supplies to bring a healthy new life into the world. 
4. Feeling her grow and move inside me. Sometimes those kicks and stretches are uncomfortable, but I still enjoy feeling her push her little foot against my belly and her wiggling around. 
5. Buying things for her. I haven't needed to buy very much since we've received so many things used but it's so much fun to look!
6. Getting lots of hand-me-downs and baby gifts. People love buying baby stuff. And having the first grand-daughter (or first grandchild) for your parents has its merits. 
7. People asking about your baby. I don't really like talking about when she's coming (since it reminds me how long I have left) but I love telling people about how it's our first child, the name we like for her, and about how excited we are to have her. 
8. People go out of their way to talk to you and be nice to you. Seriously, everyone wants to hold the door for you and everyone wants to help you. No one minds loading your car for you or lending you a hand when you look like I do. 
9. Getting to eat whenever I want without people commenting. I snack and snack and everyone's like, "Keep eating, that baby needs nourishment!"
10. Willingness to serve increases in others. I've been getting a lot more help from friends, family, and husband with chores and others things. When you're pregnant, it isn't a burden for family members to help you out. 
11. Being given a break when you do something embarrassing or dumb. People make excuses for you like, "It's okay, you're pregnant," and being able to use the excuse of "pregnancy brain" which is real. 
12. Babymoons. We are so excited for our daughter to be here and wish she was already, but in the meantime, we try to take advantage of the small amount of time remaining that we will have alone. This means more eating out, special dates, etc. 
13. Being in charge of someone. We get to pick her name and choose how she will be raised. We get to dedicate our lives to this little daughter of God and help raise her to be the best she can be. 
14. Learning to become parents. We are already figuring out what kind of parents we will be and I cannot wait to see Dalin as a father. He is going to be the best ever! 
15. Knowing that, in the end, we will have an addition to our family and it will make all the waiting and discomfort 100% worthwhile. I simply cannot wait. No matter what, less than 50 days! (I don't think I'll have a choice after 43 from now anyway). 

P.S. I thought of number 16. No period. Best thing ever. 

What were your favorite or least favorite parts about being pregnant? 
(I've been really lucky with the sickness side--I only felt nauseous from about weeks 8-12 and I never actually got sick.)

My big baby belly. 35 weeks

Maternity Photo Shoot, 34 Weeks!

In case you haven't heard yet, I'm 34 weeks along! The anticipation and uncertainty are the worst parts of the third trimester. I just wish I knew she would be here for sure on the 5th so I could relax until then. I'm looking forward to my doctor's appointment this Thursday--they always seem to make things go a little faster. But for now, I'm just counting the days. 

Yesterday, we spent much of our Sunday afternoon by the duck pond on BYU campus taking maternity pictures with friends Stephanie and Emil. We had a lot of fun and were so grateful they were willing to spend that time with us to take some fun maternity pictures. And now I can relax, knowing I got that done and won't regret not taking pics once my baby belly is gone (which will hopefully be pretty quick!). 

Here are some of my favorite pics from the afternoon:

"An apple for serenity, a pendant for balance..." Haha this picture makes me think of Mulan.

We did some just for fun yoga poses to show off different angles of my belly

When I look at these, I cannot believe just how big my belly really is. It is so strange because even now looking down at it, it doesn't seem as big as it actually appears when I look in the mirror or at the pictures. Sometimes I walk by a full-length mirror and I go, "WOAH," in my head. Like who is that? I have to admit that the thing I am most excited about post-pregnancy (besides our daughter finally being here!) is getting my body back. Not fitting into any of my normal pants is really discouraging. Especially because I always had to wear a belt before being pregnant. But apparently my hips are wider than I realized--I know my pelvis has to widen to make a passage for the baby, but I did not think it would be as noticeable as it is! I just want to fit in my skinny jeans again!!!!!

But for now, I'm wearing lots of stretch pants, skirts, and getting good use out of my two pairs of maternity pants. Hopefully by September or October I can at least have a few more options in my wardrobe! 

If you want to see more pictures from Sunday afternoon, you can look at my Maternity Shoot album on Facebook!

My Embarrassing Doctor's Visit

Well I am 32 weeks pregnant and COUNTING DOWN the days, naturally. Whenever someone asks me, "Oh how far along are you?" I tend to respond, "Well, I have eight weeks left." I guess I'm the glass half-empty type because it doesn't even seem to matter at this point that I've already been pregnant for 32 weeks. All that matters is that I have about 50-something days left until she's here!!!!

Our baby girl is as active as ever. Two or three nights ago she started sticking out some limb or other, and rolling it across my belly. I cannot say I enjoy that very much as she does it very forcefully. Seriously, who knew a 3 1/2 to 4lb. baby could be so strong! When I'm lying down and she stretches herself out, it feels so weird...I can't really describe it. It probably feels much like you think it would to have a little baby inside you, the only difference for me is that, because my body is small, she is like a little animal trying to get out of a very small, constricting bag. But it brings me a lot of mental comfort when I feel her moving inside me, despite the occasional physical discomfort. 

Dalin hasn't been feeling well since our trip to Boise. He's had a sore throat, bad cough, discomfort in his ears, and tiredness as his main symptoms. He is just now starting to recover. Unfortunately, three days ago I developed a cough which evolved into a very scratchy-feeling throat and other problems. For a few days, I was hoping it was just a return of my allergies, but when Dalin informed me his sister is still sick with the same thing three weeks after it began, I decided I had better see a doctor and get it taken care of just in case. Good thing I did! The lab at the Student Health Center did some tests--one which was a blood test. By now (at this point in my pregnancy) I should be an old pro at getting my blood drawn. I am fully aware that it doesn't hurt but I don't like to think about a needle taking blood out of a tiny vein in my arm. The girl who did the blood drawing was an intern which made me nervous, but she did a terrific job and I couldn't even see where she had taken the blood after. I thought I was fine, and went to sit in the waiting room for the test results. After only a few minutes, I started to feel a little lightheaded and asked the nurses where the water fountain was. I must have looked sick because one of them insisted he would bring me some ice water and I should sit down in the meantime. They put me back in the blood drawing chair and reclined it so my feet were elevated above my head. I felt really stupid and embarrassed that my body had reacted that way to a simple blood drawing but I honestly couldn't help it. I drank the ice water and lay there for a good fifteen minutes, with the nurses coming by every few minutes to talk to me and ask if I was comfortable. When I didn't look so pale and my test results were done, they let me leave. The doctor said I am deficient in a number of things, and that apparently I have a bacterial infection (which has been going around) as a result. She said it isn't viral, which is good. 

She prescribed some medication for me and let me know that I am also anemic (which is common during pregnancy) and I need to make sure I keep up my iron levels because of all the blood I'll lose when the baby is born (just what I needed to hear). So I need to be better at taking my prenatal vitamin and also eat more spinach, broccoli, and kale (which I love!) as well as red meat. Apparently, eating these things with a source of Vitamin C is good because it helps your body absorb the nutrients better. I can't help but wonder if my inexplicable tiredness, shortness of breath, as well as my embarrassing reaction to having my blood drawn all have something to do with my current anemia. I eat a lot of spinach and kale and stuff like it though, so I don't get how I'm iron-deficient but I guess I had better get a move on and eat more greens!

So I've been pretty miserable at home the rest of the day with my gross cough and very sore throat. I wish I could just drink something and make it go away instantly but that's never the case (even though I did try a spoonful of apple cider vinegar yesterday which helped for a little while...). Other than my health problems, life is good and I am hoping that by the end of this week, I will be feeling like a different person.

Did anyone else get anemia while pregnant? Did it affect your delivery at all? 
Also, did anyone else feel like they have an abnormally strong baby while he or she was in the womb?

Self-Motivation...Not Super Effective

Umm, beautiful right? I love Provo in Springtime. It's the best time to be here.

Some days you just need to sleep in, relax, and enjoy a delicious pink Otter Pop.

Especially after hosting a humongous dance party that lasted until after midnight. I definitely enjoyed hosting those events in the past, but it has just gotten to the point where I am just done. I am pregnant, less balanced, and more tired. Yesterday's turnout was really great though. The dance was huge. I was really grateful for the help of the two new RA couple's at King Henry. They are awesome.

Dalin had to work today which is lame, but hopefully we will have all of tomorrow to be together. I am getting so excited for Mother's Day. I wish I had been able to do more for my own mother. I ordered her something kind of cool and unique on Etsy and had it sent to the house. She reads my blog, so obviously I can't talk about it anymore now, but I think it's cool and I wanted it for myself. The gift I got for my wonderful mother-in-law also came from Etsy. It's supposed to be here today...hopefully it is since Dalin's parents will be in town on Monday!!!!

Anyway, my mom sent me a package for Mother's Day and Dalin ordered something from Amazon so I am excited for tomorrow!

Now what I really ought to be doing....

• Reading some British literature for my Independent Study classes (which I kind of hate right now)
• Doing anything at all for Independent Study (which I stink at doing)
• Organizing the baby's room (believe it or not, there are still a few boxes that haven't been touched yet...)
• Taking a nap because I am simply exhausted and baby girl probably is, too. Though I'm not sure why she would be, other than the fact that she's a baby...she gets to ride around everywhere with me without any effort
• Getting the heck off the computer and actually doing something productive like serving someone else. The trouble is, I can barely keep my eyes open.

Well, wish me luck. If I accomplish any two of these things today I'll be proud of myself. 

Happy Saturday!