Bragging: My Super Successful Week

I need to brag for a minute. Very rarely do I say this (in fact, I'm not sure I've ever actually said it...), but I am proud of myself this week. I got so much accomplished and it feels really good:

My mom and I cleaned the apartment, 

I had a much-needed teeth cleaning at the dentist (I promise I brush and floss!), 

We had our car serviced, washed, and cleaned (tire rotation, oil change, vacuumed, etc.), 

I got a doctor's appointment out of the way, 

I completed our Medicaid application, 

Tenley and I went to our first WIC appointment,
Drove through Nebo Loop and took family pictures,

I wrote an essay for English, 

I went to the temple with Dalin (which made me SO happy!),

& I spent time with my mom, husband, daughter, and brother and sister-in-law! 

I would say it's been a successful week! I'm pretty glad that it's over though...a lot of stressful things (and some fun) all combined into six days. Still, I think next year I will do the same and plan one get-everything-done week. None of it would have been possible without my mom being here though. I'm so grateful she was able to watch Tenley and motivate me to accomplish all that I was able to. I guess she'll just have to do the same next year, too! ;)

Have you ever taken a week and gotten a bunch of stressful things out of the way?
If not, you should try it!

Things I've Taken For Granted

Dropped an entire bag of goldfish the other day. Saddest thing ever. Good thing I took a pic of this, right?

Since being pregnant, there are a lot of things I never realized I had taken for granted. Here are a few that come to mind. I'm sure the list is endless though.

1. The ability to slip into jeans (or pretty much anything) without it being a tremendous hassle

2. Being able to do simple things around the house...like bend over and pick up Dalin's socks

3. Being able to sleep without interruption. I have almost forgotten what that's like. I probably won't know again for a long time

4. Feeling in control of my emotions. Crying is so annoying

5. Being able to buckle my seatbelt easily

6. Feeling somewhat fit...sigh...no more of that for a while

7. Being able to squeeze through small spaces without hitting my belly on something

8. Having no real physical ailments. Now I know what back pain is. And acid reflux

9. Being able to sit or stand for as long as I want without my body going haywire

10. My ankles and feet--when they didn't feel fat

11. Having energy

12. Not having to think about what foods or medicine go in my body

13. Having control over my bladder (aka being able to hold it)

14. Kneeling. And crawling. And sitting cross-legged. And getting up off the ground

15. Not feeling SO darn slow. Why can't I walk faster!?

16. Feeling cute. I don't anymore. Just annoyed when I see how big I am getting

17. Not feeling the need to take a nap...all the time

This is all I can think of for now. I need to go take a nap (ha ha) so I can have the energy to do something productive. I want to pick up and get rid of some clutter, I really want to clean the bathtub (stupid bare feet), and I want to make some kind of delicious dessert for Dalin because I've put him through a lot the last few days. Not on purpose. But he is my only support around here and the only one I can cry to (which I hate doing, but he loves me so it's okay).

I will be SO much happier when this baby is out. Everyone keeps telling me about all the sleep I won't get and how I'll have no energy, etc...well as long as the pains go away, I honestly don't care about anything else. 

What did you take for granted or miss while pregnant? 

How to Get Rich...

Would you like to know the secret to getting rich? I'll tell you my opinion. I may not be qualified to write this post, as I most certainly am not rich by the world's standard, but I have learned a thing or two about saving money--especially since I've been married. Here are some good tips and changes that are easy to make:

Don't spend more than you earn.
Duh. This seems so obvious, but it is a real challenge for many people who were raised with their parents taking care of everything for them. Keep track of how much you earn and delegate how much of that income will be put toward your basic needs, how much will go into savings, and how much will be left over. This is the most basic budgeting skill and is essential if you truly want to save money. 

Don't go into unnecessary debt. 
Sure school is expensive, but as long as you are saving to pay off school loans, you won't be in debt forever. Make that payment your priority. Save up and pay it off as quick as you can. We are trying to save up to pay Dalin's student loan off by graduation. Fortunately, we have been able to earn scholarships to help us save money. The same advice applies to homes and cars. You may have to settle for less before you can save up for something better. 

Budget. 
If you don't, it's going to be really hard to save money. Limit yourselves to going out once a week. Choose free date alternatives as often as you can. If you are the type who likes to splurge, try this simple solution--don't go out. If you don't want to spend money, don't go to the store. That has helped us save SO much money these last two years. If you love shopping and stopping completely is difficult for you, only carry a tiny bit of cash when you go. Leave your credit or debit cards at home. Pretend you're back in middle school or high school when $20 was all you had. 

Search for deals. 
Paying full price for anything is not very wise. Most things always go on sale at some time or another. Especially with clothing, shoes, and items for the home. If you want to be really thrifty, practice good shopping habits by making lists and searching for coupons or special deals on groceries and home products. Check Groupon and other money-saving sites. You would be surprised at the many ways you can find deals and discounts when you take a few minutes to look. I will admit, I always look for deals when it comes to clothing, but I have not yet gotten into the habit of seeking the best deals while grocery shopping. I attribute this to lack of time, but really it would be worth doing it to save even $15 a grocery trip. Something for me to work on. 

Avoid credit cards. 
I am far from an expert on credit cards, but I do know that everyone mistakenly seems to believe they must have one. Establishing credit is good when the time comes to buy a home or car, but it is not the only way. If you do have a credit card, make monthly payments on time and do not exceed your limit. Dalin and I prefer to use a debit card. We know where the money is coming from (straight from our checking account), and this prevents us from spending an unreasonable amount. Because we are leasing our car, we make monthly payments (ON TIME!) which helps us establish credit. If we need to, we can borrow our parents' credit to get a home when we find ourselves wanting to settle down. The point is, credit cards are okay if you know you can afford to make the payments. 

Save. 
Save, save, save. Put as much money as you can into the bank. Have a stash at home for emergencies. Put money in separate envelopes or jars to go toward specific trips, vacations, or other fun activities. Plan out what you are saving for and a rough estimate of how much you need. I usually find that rounding up when considering how much you think you will need is safer. 

Give. 
I love the quote by Anne Frank: "No one ever became poor by giving [too much]." How true! I also believe that giving to those in need blesses your life and, in turn, you will have more. I would rather be rich in blessings than money any day. 

Pay tithing. 
Heavenly Father gives us everything we have. We are only required to give 10% of it back to him. I would say that's fair. Especially considering the many blessings we receive as reward for our obedience to this simple commandment. It is one of the only commandments we can truly be perfect in.

All of these things combined will help you. Like I said, I am no expert--and I could stand to follow my own advice a little better--but I know that there is nothing better than being self-sufficient and feeling truly free from financial burdens. 

How do you save money? 
What are your best tips that I could use?

THIRD TRIMESTER!!!!!! Woohoo!!!!!!

As far as ultrasounds go, yesterday's went pretty great! I had to leave work early (and get a ride to the Health Center) but I met Dalin in urgent care then we headed into the ultrasound room. Our technician squirted tons of gel onto my belly (at least it was warm) then proceeded to find the baby. She's kind of huge now, so it wasn't hard. 

Everything looked great, the female technician said. We saw the four chambers of her heart very clearly, her brain, her eye...sockets, and apparently she was able to see the lips and nose...I only caught a glimpse of her profile, but baby girl did not make it easy. She wiggled around and kicked the entire time, and she kept covering her sweet little face with her arms. It was really cute watching her try to hide from us. She is already so precious! The technician told us she weighs about 2 lbs. 7 oz. which is right where she should be! Hopefully that means we won't have to worry about the due date getting pushed back (which really shouldn't matter, but it's been a concern of mine because I want her to come already!!!).

So that was great and the pictures they gave us after were slightly better than last time. Dalin had to hurry back to work right away and I had to see another doctor so I waited to be called in again. I have been waking up with a sore throat the past several mornings and I was concerned it was probably the beginning of my allergies coming in. For some reason, I've only gotten allergies since I have been coming out west for school. There must be some dumb plant out here that I'm allergic to...but it makes me feel terrible--I get a wicked cough, sore throat, itchy eyes, among other things. I went to the doctor because I want to try and beat the symptoms. My doctor had me take a strep test just in case but it was negative, so she prescribed Claritin (but she said I could buy the generic kind) and some saline nose drops. Hopefully they help!!!

Then, having no ride back to work (and only having about an hour left anyway) I texted my manager to see if I could just go home. She was of course fine with it, so I walked from the Health Center to our apartment where I pretty much just watched Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. It was really frustrating because I solved like three of the puzzles way before the contestants did and I usually stink at them. Plus no one was around to be impressed. Then, starving like always, I decided to make my favorite strawberry-rhubarb pie. I had to borrow some strawberries from a nice neighbor in the ward (because the ones we had tasted TERRIBLE for some reason...) but the filling and crusts came out well and I was so happy to have been able to prepare the surprise for Dalin. 

Shaina and Layton came over for pie around 9pm and spent some time with us. It was a nice, relaxing Tuesday. Also, the weather was gorgeous. It was dang hot at work, but our apartment has been surprisingly cool, thank heavens. I am so happy it is finally Springtime!!!!!!!

How have you enjoyed the warm weather?
Any suggestions for a pregnant woman about keeping cool? ;)

The Final Week of My Second Trimester (!!!!!)

Baby girl was sure kicking last night. I am not sure why but she just felt like pushing her little foot out by my belly button a bunch of times...and she did it so forcefully that I had to push her foot back in because it felt super weird having a little hard lump on my belly. Then after I did that, she just kept kicking. I kept exclaiming when she did it because they really were super hard kicks and Dalin asked me if she was being naughty. I said she was because she wasn't stopping and I had to keep adjusting myself in an attempt to make her stop. Finally she did...after a long time. This little girl better not be a real handful. 

Here is what it looks like inside me right now supposedly.

Things I am noticing: 

• My belly button is totally flat and the top is starting to poke out just a little. It freaks me out...it better go back to normal after the pregnancy!!!
• Baby girl is kicking ALL the time. They are definitely visible kicks now. Dalin always laughs when we're in bed and I grab his hand suddenly to put on my belly because she pushes so hard. There is no question as to whether he is feeling her or not now. 
• I have even fewer things that fit me. I forget that I am the size that I am when I get dressed, then I'm frustrated when something doesn't fit right anymore. Soon I'll be wearing dresses and skirts only...
• I can usually tell when she is going to kick or continue kicking. I must be able to slightly detect her small movements inside me because I can tell when a kick is coming when I'm in bed.
• She has the hiccups right now. Her lungs must be working as she is breathing in some of that amniotic fluid. It's a good sign!
• Walking long distances is getting tiring. My feet are just not used to the weight of my body. Not looking forward to them swelling up in the hot summer. So far I've been lucky. 
• No stretch marks yet. I am hoping they don't come until the end...I still have three months to go, ahhh!!!!
• My milk is coming in. I've noticed this at night. It's kind of gross. I won't get into it but I am really hoping this means breastfeeding will be easy for me. 
• The round ligament pain I was experiencing for a while hasn't happened much recently. The only time I feel discomfort (minor cramps) is after I've been walking for a long time.
• Sleeping is okay. I have to be surrounded by pillows but it's more bearable now than it had been. Still, little girl is getting heavy! 

I have an ultrasound next week! Hopefully we'll be able to see her nice and clear since she's so big now. The funny thing is, she probably only weighs about two pounds at the most right now and is the size of an eggplant (apparently). I can't wait to meet her in person!!!!

The Best Grandpa Ever

Everyone believes that their grandpa is the best. But my Grandpa French has truly been the most wonderful grandfather a girl could ask for. I love him so much.

My Grandpa: Charles B. French

On the old boat...going for a trip on Lake Winnipesaukee with Grandpa!

Grandpa French always has been my favorite grandfather. He is the only one I've really known but he was always my favorite. He alone has taught me more than I think anyone else has. Because of him, not only am I blessed with the ability to draw well, but I excel in English and science. He used to draw animals in pencil and have us try to copy them. He has a high appreciation for artwork and always displays our sketches on his very busy fridge. He has taught me a lot about our family history, particularly concerning our relation to the famous oil painter, Frank French, and to famous sculptor Daniel Chester French, who carved a number of statues in Boston area as well as the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C.

The Minuteman Statue...carved by my relative, Daniel Chester French

Daniel Chester French's memorial which we visited. 1850-1931

On Grandpa's back porch

In Grandpa French's old van...ready to go fishing!!

I am tremendously interested in my heritage and family history because of the things Grandpa has taught me. Grandpa French is also a wonderful example of a follower of Jesus Christ. He has a Christ-like love for his family and for those around him. He lives with integrity and has taught me the value of hard work. Even though I did not always enjoy it at the time, some of my favorite memories are working around his yard and home with him. I remember raking leaves in the fall with Payson and Grandpa and sometimes my parents. We helped him with gardening, weeding, trimming plants, cutting the grass, and all kinds of other outdoor chores. Doing these things each year helped increase my love for nature and the outdoors. It also increased my love for his beautiful home and property. 

A shot I took of Grandpa's yard once

I want to own it someday because it is such a wonderfully secluded area with all kinds of natural beauty. We used to catch frogs in the brook and throw rocks into it. 

One side of the brook at Grandpa'

We used to try to build tree houses in the trees in yard. In the winter we would wander through the woods following deer tracks and looking for animals. We learned so much about different animal species from Grandpa. Most years he kept chickens in a shed by the garden and then eventually in an old bob-house. I loved when he would take me to Agway with him and we would get to pick out the little chicks that he would bring home and raise. I remember when I was very little, we were out feeding the chickens in the back yard and one of them came over and pecked my finger and made it bleed. I was a little bit afraid of them after that, at least when they came after me. But Grandpa taught me a lot about chickens--their anatomy, as well as about their eggs. Collecting the eggs was the best part about him having the chickens, except the smell of their nests was absolutely terrible. But we would bring the eggs into Grandpa and sometimes he would make fresh scrambled eggs with them right away.

Another picture of Grandpa's front yard...so green and beautiful

Grandpa French, fishing on a dock on Lake Winnipesaukee

Payson, fishing with Grandpa

Another fishing trip with Grandpa!

Checking out the fish we caught with Grandpa!

Donovan and Grandpa's catches

The best!!!!

Grandpa's house always seemed to have a lot of animals growing up. There were a few cats (most were Andy's) like the gray tabby, Schwarzenegger, and the shy black cat, Tivy. They also had Sandy, short for Sandrietta, the nicest golden retriever there ever was. She was such a good, mellow dog and we were so sad when she died. I remember when Grandpa had us help him give her baths in a silver tub in the backyard. If I remember correctly, she didn't really enjoy those. At various times, Grandpa also had snakes, lizards, iguanas, rats, and mice living in big tanks at his house. We thought it was really cool that he had had so many types of pets. Grandpa also had plenty of squirrels living close to the house. He was always very nice to them and instead of poisoning or killing them, he would trap the squirrels in metal cages and then drive them some miles away and set them free. 

This pretty golden retriever looks pretty close to what Sandy looked like

Birds on the line (female cardinal and sparrow)

Grandpa French also loves birds. He has lots of bird-feeders on his porch and every season, he has a huge variety of birds that visit right by the kitchen window. Some of the best ones are hummingbirds, cardinals, bluejays, purple finches, gold finches, robins, and chickadees. I learned a lot about these different bird species from Grandpa French, who owns several bird guides. Speaking of books, Grandpa French is a collector of both books and antiques. I love antiques and books because of him. He owns such a vast collection of great books that it has made me want to have a library in my future home one day. Like him, I love reading because I love learning new things. I want to acquire as much knowledge as possible before I leave this earth because I know it is one of the few precious things that I will be able to take with me into the next life. Like I mentioned, I also collect antiques because of Grandpa. I particularly liked colored glass bottles and antique furniture because I like to consider their story. I always wonder about who used them and whose homes they have been in. 

Grandpa's mantle. Lots of antiques!

Grandpa brought us to a lot of antique stores where he both bought and sold items. My favorite one was Bertha Mae's (or B. Mae's) where he had several stations with great books and other things for sale. To this day, I love browsing through antique stores because they contain so many beautiful things from the past with hundreds of stories, which is so interesting and incredible to me. I love the smell of antiques, too. Across from B. Mae's is a long-running restaurant called Sawyer's. Grandpa and Nana brought us there for onion rings, BLTs, lobster rolls, and ice cream quite often in the summer. We had a lot of good conversations there.

Sitting across from Nana and Grandpa at Sawyer's

I love when Grandpa takes my brothers and me fishing on the lake in his boat or to a nice, quiet pond or river. I love fishing so much because of him. I thought it was so cool that I knew how to clean a fish properly and all about its body parts. I love eating fish because of Grandpa, and I learned that the tail, when fried, is the most sought-after part. I love water and being near it. Not only is it peaceful, but I now know so much about the different ecosystems that I find joy in studying and observing it. I love when Grandpa takes us birdwatching and we bring picnic lunches that Nana makes for us. I remember him teaching me about the flight patterns of different birds and learning about their vast range of wingspans. Hiking with him is always so interesting; we learn so much from him just by talking and asking questions. I love when he would go on field trips with us to fun science places for school. I was always so proud that everyone knew my grandpa and wanted him to come with us. (I think that helped the teachers to like me more, too, since they would always ask incredulously, "Chuck French is your grandpa?") When we were little, we went caterpillar hunting in the milkweed patches around the middle and high school. I used to think caterpillars were so gross except the distinctly unique monarch caterpillars because those are the ones we would collect and keep in jars so we could watch as they changed into a cocoon and then a butterfly.

Monarch caterpillars...the only type of caterpillar I would want to get near

When we were even littler, Grandpa used to gather all of the cousins in the living room at nighttime and turn out the lights except for a few candles and we would all go on a "lion hunt" together. He would tell us a story about us walking through the woods and being on the lookout for bears and lions. It was such a fun activity when we were young. He would make sound effects and make sure we weren't too scared. I loved when he did those special stories with us. He also told the grandkids stories about our parents growing up. I liked hearing about the time he and the girls were chased by a bear while fishing. And when poor Carolyn (or was it Dianne?) got caught by the hook while fly fishing. He has a lot of great memories. I remember snowshoeing with my class up a mountain to do a fire building contest and I already knew how to build the perfect fire because of my grandpa. (Plus we had practiced beforehand ;). Having bonfires in his backyard in the winter was the best. He would let us help him build the fire and we would all collect lots of tinder and firewood together. Then Grandpa would find some living branches (we could tell because they were green inside) and carve a marshmallow or hotdog-roasting stick for us with his pocketknife. I always loved how he used his pocketknife to carve sticks, cut up apples, clean fish, and a number of other things. He is the reason I always keep a little army knife handy. I always liked when we were sitting by the fire and he would put one foot up on his knee and use the side of his hiking boot as a make-shift plate. I still think that is such a great idea. We would sit on logs and plastic chairs around the fire--all of the cousins and aunt and uncles--and talk and tell stories as we roasted hotdogs and marshmallows. When it was too cold, we would get the fireplace going and roast marshmallows in the living room. Also in the winter, Grandpa would bring us ice fishing, which was fun but a little bit scary (I was always afraid of falling through the ice). We would also go sledding down the steep hill on the side of the house. All of the cousins would take turns and sled all the way to the driveway. We also built huge snow forts in the driveway. They were so big that our moms were worried they would collapse on us. But they were awesome and we loved going to Grandpa's house because it gave us an opportunity to be together and play.

At my high school awards night the day before graduation

After graduation at Meadowbrook!

Grandpa also took us star-gazing during the summer. We would drive to a scenic overlook off the freeway and park our cars and sit in camp chairs with blankets. We especially liked to do this when we knew a comet would be going by. While we sat there, we drank hot chocolate and Grandpa taught us about the constellations like the Big and Little Dipper, Orion, and others. We loved star-gazing with Grandpa French. Sleepovers at Grandpa and Nana's were both extremely exciting and kind of scary. We would sleep on the pull-out couch in the living room and were always frightened that someone would look into the dark windows on the back porch and kidnap us. Luckily, Grandpa always left a little light on over the kitchen sink and then there was Nana's fish tank which gave off a blue glow. The fish were a lot of fun for us to look at and to feed. Grandpa and Nana always bought a variety of fishes but my favorites were the little fluorescent ones that glowed blue and red. Grandpa had an old gumball machine in his living room that took pennies. He used to joke that that was his savings. Of course, he also had a jar of pennies nearby for us to load into the machine. We had a lot of bubblegum blowing contests. Grandpa taught us a lot of cool and random things, too. He and Nana have a vase with peacock feathers in it and he taught us how to balance the long feathers on our fingers by staring at one spot on the feather. He also taught us how to see images in the "Magic Eye" 3-D illusion books. It took a while, but it was something that we never forgot how to do once we learned it. Grandpa also loves sports. In particular, he loves baseball. He owns lots of catcher's mitts and he would play catch with Payson and me on the front lawn during the spring. We both got pretty great at catching because of all our practice. We both played baseball and softball in elementary school (that is, until I got hit in the mouth with a softball and had to have a root canal on my front tooth...since then I've been less fond of the game) because of Grandpa. He always goes to all of the cousin's games. He came to my tennis matches throughout middle school and high school, as well as soccer games and cross country meets. He is hugely supportive of all of us, no matter what we choose to do.

Grandpa is always teaching us. We used to play the card game "Memory" when we were little and match up the pictures. Our favorite set was the one with Disney characters. He and Nana always play lots of games with us. They are always willing to play Sequence, Yahtzee, and many card games including several ones that they cleverly made up. Because we have always lived in the same town as him, he has played a huge role in my growing up. I loved the year that we went to his house for breakfast every day after early-morning seminary. He always makes the very best scrambled eggs, French toast (because it is named after our family of course ;), pancakes, lady fingers, and my most favorite--crispy bacon. That is the only way I eat bacon now. Even though I don't drink coffee, I love the smell of it because it reminds me of Grandpa and Nana French's kitchen. 

Card games at Andy and Molly's house

Playing poker at camp :)

Family time at the cabin

Food for all of us!!

Grandpa and Nana have been the best at keeping our family close together. My favorite memories are the weekends we stayed in a family cabin around Easter. We played family games like homemade Survivor and indoor mini-golf and we celebrated lots of birthdays together. We had a huge Easter egg hunt and all of the cousins slept in a room together. As the family grew, Grandpa and Nana found a bigger camp for us to stay in and we filled more and more rooms. Grandpa of course took the grandkids fishing and canoeing, and we played badminton and volleyball as a family. For Nana and Grandpa's 50th anniversary, we tried out a new campsite in Maine where we surprised them with a big celebration. We played "kick the can" at night and set off fireworks. We always have the best time when the whole family gets together because of the way Grandpa and Nana raised their children. I love how tough our family is and how none of us mind roughing it for a few days for the benefit of being together as a family. 

Pam and Bob's wedding day! I love Grandpa's smile here :)

The whole family (minus Dalin :/ I didn't know him yet )

These are all things I WILL teach and do with my own children as they grow up. I feel so blessed to have had such an advantage over my classmates because I had a grandpa who taught me everything first. I am going to make sure that my children know that I learned all of these things from my Grandpa French who was a 7th grade science teacher and a vice principal. He is always teaching others. I am trying to follow in his footsteps by taking lots of pictures to record family memories and making amazing breakfasts every day (though I still need to work on this one...maybe when I have kids I'll get better at it). I can't wait to bring my children fishing and camping, and have bonfires and go boating on the lake. I can't wait to teach them about nature and different plants and types of animals. Most of all, I can't wait to instill in them a love for family like my grandfather has in me. He is the most influential person in my life and I am so filled with gratitude to my Heavenly Father for letting me be a part of his family on this earth. I know that everyone probably feels this way, but I know the truth--I am Grandpa French's favorite grandchild. I love him so much that it upsets me to think of being without him for a long period of time, but I know I will see him again no matter what and that we will all have a great reunion one day with all of our family members. I am thankful that he has been involved in the major part of my life as I grew up and I am continually trying to live like him. He really is the best grandpa out there. If you don't believe me, you should re-read this. ;)

My wonderful, wonderful family

What I Wish I'd Known When I Was Single

Oh yes, I am seriously writing this post. I have wanted to for a while now and I can assure you it's some pretty good advice. I am going to do my best not to sound high and mighty in any way because I am certainly no dating or marriage expert, but I think I know enough to help some young ladies (and I hope some young men, too!) change their single lifestyle habits.

We're cute. I know...embarrassing.

When I was single, I wish I had known that it really is important to always be myself. I got this pretty quickly (early high school) but only because my mom was always reminding me to be myself. Sometimes I would just say, "Mom, I am being myself!" but now I know truly what that means. Trust me, it took all of a few hours of marriage for me to realize that this is for real and that within a matter of days, we are going to have no boundaries whatsoever. There is nothing you can hide forever. And you shouldn't be trying to do that at all if you are planning on spending an eternity with someone. There is just no point. I hope every girl knows that it is physically impossible to look cute all the time. I'm sorry, but every girl I have ever seen first thing in the morning looks ridiculous. And guys, please make sure you know what a girl looks like without makeup before marrying her. Because chances are, you are going to see her that way (makeup free) a LOT. Every day. And some girls look like a completely different person without their makeup. I would hate for an innocent young man to wake up after his very first night with his sweetheart and not recognize the person next to him. 

Besides being yourself physically, be yourself in general. Usually (and hopefully always) the person you fall in love with brings out the very best in you. That is a terrific, wonderful, magical thing! But trust me, it is not a never-ending supply of goodness from your heart. If you are a naturally impatient person like I am, it will come out at one time or another! It is SO hard not to take the one you love for granted. It is a little like being with your parents and brothers and sisters. After being away from them for a long time, reuniting is always happy and joyful. But after a few days together you start to remember the things they do that annoy you and may have a hard time treating them as nicely as you did when you first showed up. Marriage is the same way. You think you could never ever possibly be mean or annoyed with the one you love, but we're human and it happens. You may also and almost certainly will realize that many impolite and undignified bodily functions are less embarrassing when you're married. It sounds ridiculous and you might think that could never be you, but being with someone all day every day leaves plenty of room for awkward events to occur. In all honesty, it takes a few weeks and sometimes months to get used to one another, but eventually you do. And you come to accept that your spouse does things that, while annoying at times, can be overlooked. Do not be nit-picky. Pointing out the zillion little obnoxious things is not very nice and certainly is not conducive to building a healthy marriage. 

There is a wonderful (and short) story relating to this very thing here. It is regarding what Sister Walters calls "The Grapefruit Syndrome." It is a great little story that helps to remind me that we should not seek to point out the irritating habits that those we love possess.

When I was single, I wish I had dedicated more time to cultivating talents that would help me now. Admittedly, I am referring in particular to domestic talents such as cooking. I have always loved and had an interest in cooking. It is my personal belief that anyone who wants to be the mother of a big family (as I do) had better have some decent cooking skills. Despite my interest, I did not know how to cook. Before I left for college, I had my mom show me how to cook a number of popular dishes and write down recipes and cooking instructions for most of them. I was determined that I would not starve in college. While being on my own helped me a little, it was nothing compared to change of being married. Cooking for two is harder than cooking for one. For whatever reason, it seems almost impossible to get the portions for two people correct. (Especially when you don't know exactly how much your spouse is going to eat. In my case, making more is always the better option.) It literally took about the first six months of marriage to feel like I was a semi-good cook. By month six of playing with recipes and watching the Food Network (I don't really want to say religiously, but...), I finally felt sufficiently confident in my cooking. I had at least a dozen recipes that were easy and consistently successful. 

In addition to cooking, I was grateful I had a little bit of sewing experience. Husbands can sometimes be home-wreckers. Fortunately, Dalin is not one of those. He also can sew pretty well from his mission. But if I had not figured out how to, essentially, be a wife (and in a way, a mother--I'll return to that), I would have felt much more helpless when it came to running my own home. As a woman, you tend to think when you get married that you will be a great little wife just like Gaston thought Belle would be. Then you actually get married and you discover you are much more than a wife. You are a housekeeper, a cook (very often), a disciplinarian (at times), and even a mother. That sounds weird but seriously, you are just like a mom to your husband. Our bishop explained that a husband coming into a marriage expects his wife to take care of him whether this is conscious or subconscious. Being around a woman who is independent and knows how to take care of herself maybe makes him assume he will suddenly become an immediate part of the bargain. You might not be the homely type at all but frequently find yourself picking up your husband's socks and then helping him find a clean pair when he insists he can't find any (this, I will admit, is a fairly common experience in our home). I used to be terrible at finding things. My mom would always find things the moment she came to look and would wonder if I had even tried looking. Now I can honestly say I know what that is like. Cultivate your talents! It will make your married life ten times easier if you don't have to adjust too much.

When I was single, I wish I had practiced good habits concerning my spirituality. I am not suggesting I never prayed or read the scriptures, and I absolutely attended my church meetings...but when these habits are not a very significant part of your day or even your life, it becomes much harder to practice them when the business of married begins. It is very easy to think, "As soon as we get married, we will pray every morning and night together and read scriptures for this long every single day. And we will attend the temple every week and hold FHE every Monday." If you are not doing those things yourself already, you're living in a dream world. It is definitely easy the first week to begin and feel as though you will have a perfect record, but the day will come when you will forget to do one or the other and fall out of habit. Dalin and I are much better at reading our scriptures than we were at other parts of our relationship. We are also very consistent at saying our couples' prayer together. But it took us a while to get into the habit of holding some form of FHE. It is really hard when there are only two of you. We lied to ourselves a lot saying, "We'll be perfect at this once we have kids." Well we aren't perfect at it now so that most likely will not be the case. We attend the temple about once a month which never feels like enough to me. Married life is so much busier than you can possibly imagine until you're in it. Schedules are crazy and change and make it very hard to practice the spiritual habits that help families progress. We are still far from perfect, but we do consistently remember the saying, "Families that pray together, stay together." And that is something we do not forget.

When I was single, I wish I had not cared so much about what others thought of me. It's funny, I never thought I was that way until I got married. Looking back I was like: What was wrong with me. After I got married, I quickly (very quickly) got to the point where everyone (outside the Savior and Dalin) mattered a little less. Not in the way that they were less important, but in the way that I recognized that I was now in my own family unit and that I, along with Dalin, was responsible for making my own decisions regardless of the way I had grown up. When you get married, you have to know that your spouse came from a different family, a different lifestyle, and sometimes you will see that your parents' way was perhaps not the best way, or perhaps just not the way that would work for your family. You and your spouse are of course now responsible for choosing your way, whether that be a blend of both sets of parents' ways or a completely new way. It can be hard to let go of some of the things you knew from your childhood family life, but it is a skill you must learn to best adapt. Anyway--back to not being so self-conscious--it really does happen. You might suddenly have the courage to go to class in sweats with no makeup (or you might have already been doing that...). Or you might be in the checkout line and not be such a pushover because you are officially a married adult. It really does happen and I suspect that when you have children, you get even more courageous and less conscious of the opinions of others. I know that being pregnant has suddenly made me less of a pushover at work. When some rude or idiotic tenant complains about something we have no control over, I now have no problem telling him or her that he or she is out of line and that they are complaining to the wrong person. Because I am naturally non-confrontational (believe it or not, though I do think my writing suggests otherwise sometimes), I used to apologize and apologize for other people's mistakes and feel really bad that the person on the phone seemed to hate me for something I didn't cause at all. Now I think, Don't you dare mess with me, I will not put up with your rudeness for a second. That is definitely new for me. I don't know if I got my point across for this one in the way I wanted, but basically, don't worry about those people who don't know you and who seem to judge you. Getting married automatically gives you a gigantic boost to the self-confidence, and even though it is still important to be nice to people, you will realize that truly, their words do not matter. And if you forget that occasionally, at least you will have your wonderful spouse to hold you and remind you that there are way more important things. 

When I was single, I wish I had been more daring and brave in my relationships with others. As touched on earlier, once you're married, there are no (and should be no) secrets. You tell your spouse how you feel. You communicate like adults and like best friends. If you're like Dalin and me, you might get kind of weird. I think a lot of married people get more weird. You become more like your spouse and have your own inside jokes and single people look at you and think, You have changed. I have never seen you act that way...Generally speaking, you and your spouse will probably speak to each other very differently when alone than with other people around you. You single people have no idea. Yet. Look at how your parents act when they're weird and then multiply that by a large sum. I think parents probably tend to rein in their weirdness once they have kids. But what I meant by being brave was that I wish I had not held back so much in some relationships. I should have been more open and willing to share my feelings. I guarantee had I done that, there would have been times that I would have been shot down (possibly a lot) but it would have been worth it. The reason I chose not to have a boyfriend before I met Dalin was because, even though I was not particularly looking to get married, I was not looking for a dead-end relationship. I did not want to put myself in a position that could get me in trouble before I was married and frankly, I did not want to waste time with someone that there was no foreseeable future with. I did not like wasting my time or someone else's. I am very grateful for that decision, as it made me very cautious as I looked for qualities in someone that I wanted in a future husband but I do wish I had been more bold and direct. What I really want to say to you single people is stop beating around the bush with each other. Seriously, if you like someone and tell them, and they don't like you back, it's going to hurt for about five minutes (or maybe five weeks) but you will find someone new and there will one day be someone who returns those feelings. And that will be so special that you will forget about that time you got rejected. I think single students waste WAY too much time. You don't have to get engaged after two and a half months (like some of us...) but you should not spend so much time secretly thinking you're in love with someone only to find that the relationship is not going anywhere or they do not feel the same way. Be honest. Be brave. It pays off. I think the biggest step to finding your spouse is taking that step at some point. One day you will be brave and it you will have your own fairytale ending. But I suggest that you skip a few steps and take those steps now. Endure rejection (if it comes at all!) and know that you are fast forwarding a little closer to the moment when you find your eternal companion. 

Laughter is important. If you don't have that, you don't have much. 

This was one long post, but if you made it through, please tell me what you thought. I might add a few things to a follow-up post if you have a really good suggestion.

So suggest away! And if you're single, I want to know if you think what I'm saying makes sense.

Day 8: Messy Houses

I cannot believe I'm saying this, but I am grateful for messy houses.

If I never had one, I would never appreciate when it is clean. 

Guess which state mine is in now?

Not the latter...

I am working on it.

This weekend, I intend to spend a good two or three hours folding clothes, 

washing dishes,

wiping down surfaces, 

and picking up socks and shoes that always manage to get strewn across our living room.

A clean house gives me peace of mind.

So in reality, I guess I am thankful for the perspective that a messy house gives me.

Wish me luck this weekend! ;)

"I get strangely obsessed about the cleanliness of my house." 

~Utada Hikaru

"Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door." 

~Marcelene Cox

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."  (In reality, this applies to more than just children)

~Phyllis Diller 

How it will NOT look...

Day Six: Our Founding Fathers

I am thankful for the faithful men who developed the Constitution of the United States.

I am thankful for their belief that, under God, all men are created equal.

I am grateful for the freedoms that have been given to us and defended over the past two hundred plus years.

I am grateful for their wisdom and dedication to developing principles by which we ought to govern ourselves.

I am glad that they had morals and values and that the majority of them (52 out of 55) were men of faith.

Benjamin Franklin had a very impressive system of values, which you can read about right here.

If you would like to take a moment and read about our Founding Fathers, I would highly suggest reading this.

Here is a segment of it: 

"There is a distortion of history frequently heard that our nation does not have biblical or Christian roots and that our Founding Fathers were mostly deists and not Christians. Nothing could be further from the truth."

President George Washington said: "It is impossible to rightly govern … without God and the Bible," and also "To the distinguished Character of a Patriot, it should be our highest glory to add the most distinguished Character of Christian." 

Our sixth President, John Quincy Adams, said it best: "The highest glory of the American Revolution was this: It connected in one indissoluble bond, the principles of civil government and the principles of Christianity."

Benjamin Franklin said very profoundly: “The longer I live, the more convincing proofs I see of this truth, that God governs in the affairs of men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without His aid?”

Thank you, for giving us this free nation to live in.

Days of Gratitude ~ Day One: My Savior & My Sweetheart

This month I will attempt to share some of the many things I am grateful for--one day at a time.

I will start with the two most important things in my life (I'm kind of cheating, but to me they are inseparable because I am so set on the concept of the Sacred Triangle): my Savior Jesus Christ and my husband.

“He died not for men, but for each man. 

If each man had been the only man made, He would have done no less.”
 ~C. S. Lewis

My testimony of the Savior is this: I know He lives.

.....

I know he died for my sins and for the sins of everyone on this earth. The Atonement is real, and it works. We can repent and be with our families for eternity because of His great sacrifice.
.....

I know He loves me despite my imperfections. He is my elder Brother. He will be my advocate with Father. To me, this means that He wants to me to succeed--He is on my side. He will ask for mercy in my behalf. It comforts me to know that I can be clean and pure because of Him. I love Him and want to know Him by learning of His life through the scriptures.

I am trying to be like Him. 

Sacred Triangle

By growing closer to the Lord, we in turn grow closer to one another. 

This symbol is very dear to my heart. A favorite scripture of mine has been Matthew 6:33 which teaches that if we seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and His Righteousness, everything else will be given (or added unto) us. As we move closer to the Lord, we get all we could ever want.

Dalin and I are trying to make the gospel of Jesus Christ, our callings, and our marriage our highest priority. It can be so easy to overlook them in the craziness of our daily lives; however, there is nothing more important. 

Which brings me to my other greatest blessing--my husband. 

I speak highly of Dalin often: on my blog, in my journal, in real life...he constantly impresses me.

There truly is nothing bad I can say. Dalin is far beyond my dream husband. Seriously. 

Back when I was in Young Women's, I made The List.

The List included so many things--among them were returned missionary, Eagle scout, has a testimony, loves the Lord, wants children, shares my goals, hardworking, cheerful, loyal, generous, kindhearted, etc.. And then of course some less important, but nevertheless desirable, traits: handsome, tall, strong, fit, athletic, nice hair, nice teeth, speaks Spanish, loves to sing...

Let's just say I had a long list. And I consider myself picky. So picky that I never had a boyfriend before college (or before Dalin I might add) because I knew that I had not yet found someone who had the qualities I was seeking in a future husband. I take marriage very, very seriously, and even though I was not looking to get married right away when I started at BYU-Idaho, I knew I was not going to give so much of my heart to someone that I would not potentially marry. 

Dalin is so different from any person I have ever met. 

He has the capacity to love unconditionally.

He is sensitive to the feelings of others. 

He has a brilliant awareness about him.

He has a gift when it comes to the Church--his humble understanding of the gospel and of the scriptures goes so much deeper than anyone I have ever known.

He is wise--when it comes to spending money, making life decisions, whatever it may be.

He has the gift of discernment.

He is completely loyal. I can feel it in his presence. 

He has a childlike spirit about him--I admire that so much. He wants lots of children because he loves them and he has a whole innocence about him that is refreshing in a world where exposure to evil is so commonplace. 

He is tender in the way he speaks to me and takes care of me. 

He is striving to be like the Savior. 

He is my greatest blessing.

~What are you most thankful for?

gunnell family home evening

Well, Dalin and I have decided that we need to make FHE (family home evening) a priority in our little home.  And so we have started the tradition of finding an article to share with one another on Monday night.

Yesterday, I started off and shared a portion of a talk given by President Hinckley. It came from my Marriage and Family homework but I had just loved it so much I wanted to share it. The talk is entitled, "Cornerstones of a Happy Home."

Here is our happy household ;)

Here are some of my favorite parts of it:

Equality in Marriage

To men within the sound of my voice, wherever you may be, I say, if you are guilty of demeaning behavior toward your wife, if you are prone to dictate and exercise authority over her, if you are selfish and brutal in your actions in the home, then stop it! Repent! Repent now while you have the opportunity to do so.

~

To you wives who are constantly complaining and see only the dark side of life, and feel that you are unloved and unwanted, look into your own hearts and minds. If there is something wrong, turn about. Put a smile on your faces. Make yourselves attractive. Brighten your outlook. You deny yourselves happiness and court misery if you constantly complain and do nothing to rectify your own faults. Rise above the shrill clamor over rights and prerogatives, and walk in the quiet dignity of a daughter of God.

.....

The trick, my brethren and sisters is to enjoy the journey, traveling hand in hand, in sunshine and storm, as companions who love one another. Anyone can do it with a disciplined effort to live the gospel. Remember, “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it” (Psalm 127:1).

Four Cornerstones

"...I have long felt that happiness in marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one’s companion. That involves a willingness to overlook weaknesses and mistakes."

~

1. Mutual Respect

The first of these I choose to call mutual respect. Each of us is an individual. Each of us is different. There must be respect for those differences, and while it is important and necessary that both the husband and the wife strive to ameliorate those differences, there must be some recognition that they exist and that they are not necessarily undesirable. There must be respect one for another, notwithstanding such differences. In fact, the differences may make the companionship more interesting.

.....

"Husbands must be considerate of their wives, who have the greater responsibility not only of bearing children but of caring for them through childhood, and should help them conserve their health and strength. Married couples should exercise self-control in all of their relationships. They should seek inspiration from the Lord in meeting their marital challenges and rearing their children according to the teachings of the gospel.”

~

Husbands, wives, respect one another. Live worthy of the respect of one another. Cultivate that kind of respect which expresses itself in kindness, forbearance, patience, forgiveness, true affection, without officiousness and without show of authority.

~

2. The Soft Answer

I pass now to the second cornerstone. For want of a better name I call it the soft answer.

The writer of Proverbs long ago declared, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).

.....

It seems to me that communication is essentially a matter of talking with one another. Let that talk be quiet for quiet talk is the language of love. It is the language of peace. It is the language of God. It is when we raise our voices that tiny mole hills of difference become mountains of conflict.

.....

There is need for much discipline in marriage, not of one’s companion but of one’s self. Husbands, wives, remember, “He [or she] that is slow to anger is better than the mighty” (Proverbs 16:32). Cultivate the art of the soft answer. It will bless your homes, it will bless your lives, it will bless your companionships, it will bless your children.

~

3. Financial Honesty

Cornerstone number three is financial honesty. I am satisfied that money is the root of more trouble in marriage than all other causes combined. 

.....

Those who live honestly with God are more likely to live honestly with one another and their associates. Further, as they budget for their tithes and offerings they will cultivate a discipline in the handling of their resources.

~

4. Family Prayer

The final cornerstone on which to build your home is family prayer. I know of no other practice that will have so salutary an effect upon your lives as will the practice of kneeling together in prayer. The very words, Our Father in Heaven, have a tremendous effect. You cannot speak them with sincerity and with recognition without having some feeling of accountability to God. The little storms that

seem to afflict every marriage become of small consequence while kneeling before the Lord and addressing him as a suppliant son and daughter.

~

Your daily conversations with him will bring peace into your hearts and a joy into your lives that can come from no other source. Your companionship will sweeten through the years. Your love will strengthen. Your appreciation one for another will grow.

Obviously I had a hard time cutting things out. 

After me, Dalin shared a talk he had chosen entitled, "Have I Ever Told You...?" by Mark E. Martinsen. 

It speaks of sharing stories with your children to instill in them a sense of heritage. I loved the portion that Dalin shared with me. I think this is a terrific tradition in the making. I know that I love hearing the stories that my family holds dear--particularly those that teach lessons and truth. 

If you want to read the article Dalin shared with me, you can find it here!

We read our chapter in the Book of Mormon afterward, and sang a song together. 

(I'll be the first to say that neither of us sing that well and so Dalin chose for us to sing "White Christmas" and we sang the entire thing). 

This is my favorite version of the song--I am in love with the classic Christmas songs:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJSUT8Inl14

Cute FHE job board--Dalin and I have one given to us from his mom--
this isn't it, but someday I will post a picture!

I loved the Spirit that brought to our home. It made me feel so happy. I thought, "We are doing this. We did it." We had our first Family Home Evening in a while and intend to make it a habit in our lives. 

I am grateful to have a supportive husband who can be so insightful. I love him lots! 

What do you do for FHE?  Do you have any fun ideas?