2 Months Old!

As I've shared before (many times already), I love motherhood. I laugh every day at my sweetest daughter, and I've lost track of her now frequent smiles and adorable talking--she talks a lot now (like her mom, ha ha). She is absolutely perfect (all babies are :) and I have been so blessed with how calm and mild-mannered she is. Tenley will be two months old on Saturday, the 12th. She still wakes up only once a night, but despite this--much to my dismay--I'm now constantly exhausted. My tiredness has caught up with me. I will note that this is likely in part due to poor choices on Dalin's and my part, like staying up until past 1AM watching episodes of 24 (which we had been so good about not doing until now...). Sigh. We need to start being responsible parents and following the advice in the book "On Becoming BabyWise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep" which Dr. Randall Pace gave to us when Tenley was born. I tried...for a day...to establish a feeding schedule, but it is harder than you would think to stay on track! Well, it was easy for one day. Anyway, I've been kind of an "on-demand" feeder for the most part but that isn't always convenient (though fortunately Tenley is quite patient when we're out of the house). Anyway, I can't complain--she's a pretty great baby! (All babies are great though...some are just a little trickier than others...)

Dalin and I got the flu shot this morning to hopefully prevent Tenley from getting sick. I'll let you know right now that if you are sick, we will be keeping her away from you. We can't afford to let her be exposed to anything as I'm sure you understand (she's still an infant so sickness can be quite dangerous). Our left arms feel like they've been punched from the shot (I swear the soreness after is much worse than the shot itself) but it'll be worth it if it keeps Ten healthy.

Tomorrow we take her to get her immunizations...I feel like crying just thinking about it. It'll be worth it if it keeps her healthy though. Oh, and her pediatrician says she looks very healthy and that she has a strong neck. She currently weighs 11 lbs, 1 oz. and is 22" long. Such a big girl! We sure love her. 

20 Random Facts to Tell The Kids

Here are some things my children should know about me. Many of these things you can figure out on your own just from getting to know me, but I don't think I've written them down anywhere in my thirty journals and I should probably record it. For posterity. Some are serious, some are just for fun.

1. I am stubborn when it comes to my political and religious beliefs. I know what I know and I do not like to be told that I'm wrong. I will always defend my beliefs in these respective areas. It is an inherent and obstinate part of my personality.

2. I rarely exercise and I wear only a little makeup. I'm too lazy to exercise, truthfully, but I would do it if I thought it would improve my health. My body is surprisingly almost completely back to my pre-pregnancy body at 8 weeks [today] though (go breastfeeding!), and as long as I'm eating well, I do not see that it is entirely necessary. I won't deny that exercise does greatly improve my mood so perhaps that is reason enough to do it. As for makeup, as long as I have mascara and eyeliner, I don't care about anything else. I want to look like myself and I do not care for the caked on look. And neither does Dalin thankfully. I'm all for enhancing one's natural beauty.

3. I've made it my goal to not buy any clothes for myself or Dalin for a year (see here). So far it hasn't been that difficult (I literally haven't been to a clothing store since I set the goal which has helped) but I am sure sooner or later I will be tempted and my resolve to follow through will be tested. But I have a feeling I can do it and that I'll be better for it. It is one way that I'm making a sincere effort to be more grateful for all that I already have been given by a loving Father.

4. Sometimes--very often more recently--I just want to give up with school. It is very hard to have perspective when I don't see myself working necessarily and when the end feels so far off (though it really isn't). Plus, Independent Study stinks. But I know the end result will be worth it someday. "Eternal perspective," I tell myself repeatedly.

5. My primary love language is physical touch (9), followed by quality time (7), acts of service (6),  words of affirmation (5), and then receiving gifts (3). Find out your love language right here. (Okay, can I just add that Dalin's love language is the complete opposite of mine?? His is: words of affirmation (9), quality time (8), acts of service (8), receiving gifts (4), and physical touch (a freaking 1! Are you kidding me?!?!). But we're still married ;)

6. Being a mother is an incredible joy. It's better than I ever imagined it would be as a little girl who wanted a "Cheaper-By-The-Dozen"-sized family. I love holding my daughter as she snuggles into me. I love hearing her talk and coo at me. I love watching her smile in her sleep and her reactions to us smiling at her. I love the way she looks right into my eyes and gazes at me with so much love and wonder. I love seeing her with her daddy. I love that stage between wake and asleep and all her grunts and yawns and stretches. I love smelling her, touching her, nursing her, and feeling that she is all mine. I love that she makes me feel needed and wanted. I even love when she cries (I'm terrible--I usually start laughing because the things that babies cry about seem ridiculous to me) and when she scratches my chest with her sharp little claws. All the other moments make up for it. She makes me excited to meet my other children who aren't born yet.

7. I have an adventurous spirit. I frequently daydream about the future. I imagine our future home (and all the Pinterest projects I have lined up...) and sometimes I dream about what it would be like to get off the grid and be on our own for a while. I like the woods. I like my family. God is always with us. What more do I need, really? Then I remember that I love the rest of my family, too. And that I would miss them if we were just on our own. But still, it is fun to daydream.

8. I truly love my role as a Latter-day Saint woman. If you need convincing that the Mormon church properly honors and respects women, take a look at this right here. I think you will find that we are given a lot of credit for our divine role. I do not buy into modern society's view of what "true womanhood" is.

9. I feel like I am much smarter now than I have ever been at any other point in my life (especially thanks to the General Conference messages we just heard the last few days). Yeah, we all learn new things every day so this seems fairly obvious. But looking back through the years, there are a lot of things I wish I had known about life and about myself. I'm still naive about a lot of things, but some people call that "positivity" and it's a good quality. In some ways, I'm a realist (for example, I know the world is becoming increasingly evil), but I try to use the knowledge gained from that mindset to enhance my positive outlook. Being positive is a choice. It's hard, but it's worth it.

10. I'm happy (not just right now...like, I'm a happy person) because of my Latter-day Saint background to know that death is not the end. Because of our Savior Jesus Christ, I know we will live again. I am happy because I know (and believe with all my being) that families are forever. I'm happy because I know that Heavenly Father loves me. I am His child and so are you. Even if you don't believe it, too late. You can never change that you are a son or daughter of God.

11. I write in my journal every single day (and have since I was 13, hence the thirty-one journals I've filled) because I was asked to. The leaders of the Church encouraged me (and every other young person) to keep a journal. And so I do because I want to be obedient. Is it more for posterity or myself?--I couldn't say. Most likely it is for both of us. Do I feel like a moron when I read my old journals most of the time? Yes. Because I was silly. And I keep learning from the past. And I change every day.

12. I feel that I have good intuition. What does that mean, exactly? (See definition below) I have an innate sense about things in general. I think that I read people well. I can interpret and predict people's behavior, attitudes, and even how they are thinking based on their actions or body language. I get people--I understand how and why they think. On another note, I often feel like I know what is about to happen and then it does. I understand Tenley's needs. The last one is probably just mother's intuition, which is real, (and all mother's have it whether they heed it or not). How do I account for these intuent feelings? Probably very often it is the Spirit inspiring me. But I do believe that Heavenly Father gives us each certain unique gifts and talents and that my ability to discern people and my acute perception are a few of mine.

13. Sometimes (this kind of relates back to number 7) I wish that Dalin didn't have to work (in other words, that we were millionaires) and that we could live in a nice humble abode by the lake (with at least five bedrooms for us and our imaginary seven children) or the ocean, and that we could hang out and play together all the time without having to worry about finances ever. Money is dumb. And we can live off the land and provide for ourselves. And we can fly. (Just kidding about the last part though everything else is basically just as unrealistic).

14. I want my children to know that after Heavenly Father, I love their dad more than anything that has ever existed. And then them. And I hope that someday they will say the same thing about their Father in Heaven and their spouse.

15. What you see is what you get. I am far from perfect. I make mistakes every day though I try to improve myself. But I am real. I am down to earth. This is my first time being a mom. I never took a class or had a practice kid (though being the first child, Tenley is kind of in that position), I'm just figuring it out as I go along. I hope I don't stink as a mother, but if I mess up, remember that this is my first time and hopefully I'll get wiser as time goes on.

And a few more (not necessarily as important):
16. I want more babies. Lots of them. Everyone knows this about me. I love being a mom! Best kind of work ever.

17. I developed photos (because of Tenley) for the first time in years last week. So sad. Facebook and the internet have destroyed the need to develop pics. Probably when our kids are grown that won't be an option anymore. All picture frames will be digital. I hope not.

18. I am currently addicted to Cranberry-Lemonade (it took me a few glasses to get used to it) and to dark chocolate coconut almonds (thanks, Emily!). The best part about these two things? (and no they don't go together). Cranberries and almonds are good for you! Score. My kids probably won't care about this information, but I'll just throw in that I love juice and nuts in any form.

19. Someday, I want to get a dog. I think. (Sometimes I remember how much work they are and start to reconsider). If I were to get a dog, I'd want a dachshund (that's what my parents have and he is the best) or a beagle (or a mix of the two) because Snoopy is a beagle and I love Snoopy. So much. And all the Peanuts. But that's besides the point.

20. I love receiving flowers (of all kinds!) on any given day for any reason. Who doesn't? I have a bad habit though of saving them all...I dry them out then hang them places. I'm a little too sentimental when it comes to flowers I guess;)

Just being a mom. Love Tenley's sleep smile. 

Our family is forever. Period.

Did any of these surprise you? If so, which one(s)?
Is there anything that you think I need to add to this list?

The Sanctity of Human Life

This article appeared on my Yahoo newsfeed yesterday. It really sickens me that this is even something society has to deal with but that's where we are. 

I feel strongly that abortion is wrong. Many people--say, about half the planet--disagree with me. I truly cannot fathom how some people can justify the preservation of trout eggs and other animals such as these and ignore the need to preserve human life. Maybe they think there is some need for population control (which is not true at all--we humans do not even have a sufficient replacement rate for the population as it is, as partially described in this article about demographics) or maybe it is their need to feel like they have complete control over their lives that makes them feel this way. Maybe they have never felt their unborn child's heartbeat or felt their baby's first movements because I certainly cannot see how someone could experience either of these miracles and still claim that a fetus or embryo is not "living." Why is it that when one's heart ceases to beat, they are medically considered "dead" but when a heart begins beating as early as four or five weeks, a fetus is not considered "living." What is the point of having a heartbeat if it does not give us life?

The claim that an unborn baby is "not living" is one of the biggest fallacies and absolute untruths of our time. And somehow people tell themselves this lie and accept it. This is justification, people. Humans are constantly trying to justify their actions and behaviors, and if telling themselves that a fetus with a beating heart is not alive, then it is sad and embarrassing that they could be so easily convinced that there is no sanctity in human life. 

Another argument I find ridiculous is when humans suggest that these girls "aren't ready" or "mature enough" to be parents. To those who suggest this, I would agree with you. But if they believe they are mature enough to participate in sexual behaviors, then they better be willing to accept the consequences associated with that choice. I realize that the article I am responding to did not directly or fully address the subject of abortion, but I am doing so because my opinion on birth control comes down to this: If you believe that you are "old enough" or "mature enough" to be sexually active, then you must be what we grown-ups call "accountable" for your actions. If you break the law, you might be arrested. If you cheat on a test, you will likely fail. If you break a promise, you very often lose someone's trust. If you murder another human being, you go to prison. These are consequences. Say you somehow avoid getting arrested, or avoid failing the test because no one catches you. Does that make your decision any better or any more right? It is the same with sexual activity. If, due to careless behavior, you get pregnant, you have the choice to accept the consequences, take responsibility, and raise yourself or even give away the child that you have actively--if not willfully--created. You can also attempt to hide what you did and cover it up with an abortion because you aren't ready to have a child, or it was just a one-time thing. Just because others do not know about it, does not make it acceptable. 

It reminds of this scripture in 2 Nephi 28: 8-9 (if you don't believe in the scriptures, feel free to pass over this part):

"And there shall also be many which shall say: Eat, drink, and be merry, nevertheless, fear God--he will justify in committing a little sin; yea, lie a little, take the advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbor; there is no harm in this; and do all these things, for tomorrow we die; and if it so be that we are guilty, God will beat us with a few stripes, and at last we shall be saved in the kingdom of God. Yea, and there shall be many which shall teach after this manner, false and vain and foolish doctrines, and shall be puffed up in their hearts, and shall seek deep to hide their counsels from the Lord; and their works shall be in the dark."

Many feminists and pro-choice activists argue that women should have "absolute control" over their own bodies. They do. Women have the ability to choose if they will be sexually active and the ability to choose how they prevent pregnancy. But why would a loving God (or anyone with a human heart) find terminating an unwanted pregnancy justifiable? Women have the power to create life. If they abuse it, just like anything else in life, they should be required to accept the consequences. I often see people protest to this with pointless questions such as, "If they don't want the baby, isn't it better that the baby is terminated than raised by unready or unwilling parents?" No sir, I don't believe in children being raised properly by loving parents. OF COURSE I DO. How idiotic a question is that? But taking that unborn baby's life is NOT a proportionate response! Adoption by loving parents is always a viable option but then those same people always insist, "There are already too many children being put up for adoption and too many who never get adopted." To this I respond with, yes, that is unfortunately true. Too many people have already made the choice to put their child up for adoption, whatever the reason. But how can you argue that those babies would have been better off dead, or rather "terminated," than allowed to live? Please tell me that the majority of those people on this list of orphans as well as the thousands of others that have lived on this earth believe they would have been better off having never existed than growing up an orphan. I highly doubt you would receive sizable positive acclamation or agreement. 

When a woman chooses to have an abortion, she is generally met with sympathy and understanding. What about the little life that will never be because of her decision? An embryo--and even a birthed baby--is not given the choice to live. It depends entirely on its parents, and in particular, its mother to keep it alive. Why would he or she not be given the same rights as any other human being? Does age matter? The life of a human suddenly matters when it is born at 40 weeks, but not beforehand? What about those born as prematurely as 23 weeks? They are not a fully developed baby until 40 weeks, so that baby should not matter as much, right? Because a fetus is not as much a human at 8 weeks than a still-developing baby at 20? "As much" as you try to justify it, the argument stands that those who support abortion do not seem to value human life as much or at least do not respect it enough to preserve it. 

Sexual intimacy is sacred. It is God-given. It is not only for creating life, but for expressing love and creating oneness. But I believe it is most powerful and most meaningful within marriage. The world disagrees? No kidding. Sexuality is a common joke in the eyes of most. It is purely physical and recreational. This quote by Billy Graham best portrays the brief version of what Mormons or Latter-day Saints believe in this regard: 

"The Bible celebrates sex and its proper use, presenting it as God-created, God-ordained, God-blessed. It makes plain that God himself implanted the physical magnetism between the sexes for two reasons: for the propagation of the human race, and for the expression of that kind of love between man and wife that makes for true oneness. His commandment to the first man and woman to be 'one flesh' was as important as his command to 'be fruitful and multiply.'" 

The long version, if you're truly curious, is explained well in this article. Those who mistakenly are under the impression that Mormons and other Christians believe that the only purpose for sexuality is to have children are completely wrong. That aspect of sexuality is very important, too, but in its own time. 

I am not naive enough to believe that most people will stop having sex before marriage just because it might result in an unwanted pregnancy. Humans are too selfish and too concerned that their own needs are satisfied for this to be the case. But if you consider yourself old enough to be sexually active, I would hope you would be willing to consider the consequences should your contraceptive methods fail. 

I will share that I chose to be on a birth control pill for the first year of our marriage. This decision was partially because I suffer from major cramps during my period and the pill helped relieve them, partially because my period was irregular and it helped regulate it, and partially because I wanted to have some time with my husband so we could adjust to one another before starting a family. That was a choice we prayerfully made as a couple. Had we still gotten pregnant before anticipated, we would have been elated and would have understood that obviously God's timing was different from our own. After one year and two months, we decided we wanted to stop using the pill and leave it up to Him because at that point, we were starting to get very baby hungry. Sure enough, after just one month, we discovered we were pregnant.

Human life is special. Our Heavenly Father loves every one of us and I imagine that it saddens him tremendously to see so many of His children aborting the growing embryos or fetuses they actively created. I have heard some cruelly and disdainfully suggest that an embryo is nothing more than "a sac of cells." To that I say it is then a growing sac of cells with a heartbeat and the potential to become a human baby. You can justify its supposed unimportance as much as you want, but I will never be convinced that the baby now nearly fully formed inside me was ever just "a sac of cells" to our Heavenly Father.

I write this post not to argue or to convince (as that rarely seems to be effective with any sort of argument) but to inform. You may disagree with every single thing I have written thus far, but I assure you that you cannot disagree with this basic fact: You were born. The efforts of a man and a woman together gave you life. No one got in the way of that. You sadly may wish you had never been born, but I do not believe that gives you or anyone else the right to choose who should be able to live and who should not.

"The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction, is the first and only object of good government."

~Thomas Jefferson

My precious growing daughter. She was just at 16 weeks here, but already incredibly active and very much alive. 

My Embarrassing Doctor's Visit

Well I am 32 weeks pregnant and COUNTING DOWN the days, naturally. Whenever someone asks me, "Oh how far along are you?" I tend to respond, "Well, I have eight weeks left." I guess I'm the glass half-empty type because it doesn't even seem to matter at this point that I've already been pregnant for 32 weeks. All that matters is that I have about 50-something days left until she's here!!!!

Our baby girl is as active as ever. Two or three nights ago she started sticking out some limb or other, and rolling it across my belly. I cannot say I enjoy that very much as she does it very forcefully. Seriously, who knew a 3 1/2 to 4lb. baby could be so strong! When I'm lying down and she stretches herself out, it feels so weird...I can't really describe it. It probably feels much like you think it would to have a little baby inside you, the only difference for me is that, because my body is small, she is like a little animal trying to get out of a very small, constricting bag. But it brings me a lot of mental comfort when I feel her moving inside me, despite the occasional physical discomfort. 

Dalin hasn't been feeling well since our trip to Boise. He's had a sore throat, bad cough, discomfort in his ears, and tiredness as his main symptoms. He is just now starting to recover. Unfortunately, three days ago I developed a cough which evolved into a very scratchy-feeling throat and other problems. For a few days, I was hoping it was just a return of my allergies, but when Dalin informed me his sister is still sick with the same thing three weeks after it began, I decided I had better see a doctor and get it taken care of just in case. Good thing I did! The lab at the Student Health Center did some tests--one which was a blood test. By now (at this point in my pregnancy) I should be an old pro at getting my blood drawn. I am fully aware that it doesn't hurt but I don't like to think about a needle taking blood out of a tiny vein in my arm. The girl who did the blood drawing was an intern which made me nervous, but she did a terrific job and I couldn't even see where she had taken the blood after. I thought I was fine, and went to sit in the waiting room for the test results. After only a few minutes, I started to feel a little lightheaded and asked the nurses where the water fountain was. I must have looked sick because one of them insisted he would bring me some ice water and I should sit down in the meantime. They put me back in the blood drawing chair and reclined it so my feet were elevated above my head. I felt really stupid and embarrassed that my body had reacted that way to a simple blood drawing but I honestly couldn't help it. I drank the ice water and lay there for a good fifteen minutes, with the nurses coming by every few minutes to talk to me and ask if I was comfortable. When I didn't look so pale and my test results were done, they let me leave. The doctor said I am deficient in a number of things, and that apparently I have a bacterial infection (which has been going around) as a result. She said it isn't viral, which is good. 

She prescribed some medication for me and let me know that I am also anemic (which is common during pregnancy) and I need to make sure I keep up my iron levels because of all the blood I'll lose when the baby is born (just what I needed to hear). So I need to be better at taking my prenatal vitamin and also eat more spinach, broccoli, and kale (which I love!) as well as red meat. Apparently, eating these things with a source of Vitamin C is good because it helps your body absorb the nutrients better. I can't help but wonder if my inexplicable tiredness, shortness of breath, as well as my embarrassing reaction to having my blood drawn all have something to do with my current anemia. I eat a lot of spinach and kale and stuff like it though, so I don't get how I'm iron-deficient but I guess I had better get a move on and eat more greens!

So I've been pretty miserable at home the rest of the day with my gross cough and very sore throat. I wish I could just drink something and make it go away instantly but that's never the case (even though I did try a spoonful of apple cider vinegar yesterday which helped for a little while...). Other than my health problems, life is good and I am hoping that by the end of this week, I will be feeling like a different person.

Did anyone else get anemia while pregnant? Did it affect your delivery at all? 
Also, did anyone else feel like they have an abnormally strong baby while he or she was in the womb?

THIRD TRIMESTER!!!!!! Woohoo!!!!!!

As far as ultrasounds go, yesterday's went pretty great! I had to leave work early (and get a ride to the Health Center) but I met Dalin in urgent care then we headed into the ultrasound room. Our technician squirted tons of gel onto my belly (at least it was warm) then proceeded to find the baby. She's kind of huge now, so it wasn't hard. 

Everything looked great, the female technician said. We saw the four chambers of her heart very clearly, her brain, her eye...sockets, and apparently she was able to see the lips and nose...I only caught a glimpse of her profile, but baby girl did not make it easy. She wiggled around and kicked the entire time, and she kept covering her sweet little face with her arms. It was really cute watching her try to hide from us. She is already so precious! The technician told us she weighs about 2 lbs. 7 oz. which is right where she should be! Hopefully that means we won't have to worry about the due date getting pushed back (which really shouldn't matter, but it's been a concern of mine because I want her to come already!!!).

So that was great and the pictures they gave us after were slightly better than last time. Dalin had to hurry back to work right away and I had to see another doctor so I waited to be called in again. I have been waking up with a sore throat the past several mornings and I was concerned it was probably the beginning of my allergies coming in. For some reason, I've only gotten allergies since I have been coming out west for school. There must be some dumb plant out here that I'm allergic to...but it makes me feel terrible--I get a wicked cough, sore throat, itchy eyes, among other things. I went to the doctor because I want to try and beat the symptoms. My doctor had me take a strep test just in case but it was negative, so she prescribed Claritin (but she said I could buy the generic kind) and some saline nose drops. Hopefully they help!!!

Then, having no ride back to work (and only having about an hour left anyway) I texted my manager to see if I could just go home. She was of course fine with it, so I walked from the Health Center to our apartment where I pretty much just watched Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. It was really frustrating because I solved like three of the puzzles way before the contestants did and I usually stink at them. Plus no one was around to be impressed. Then, starving like always, I decided to make my favorite strawberry-rhubarb pie. I had to borrow some strawberries from a nice neighbor in the ward (because the ones we had tasted TERRIBLE for some reason...) but the filling and crusts came out well and I was so happy to have been able to prepare the surprise for Dalin. 

Shaina and Layton came over for pie around 9pm and spent some time with us. It was a nice, relaxing Tuesday. Also, the weather was gorgeous. It was dang hot at work, but our apartment has been surprisingly cool, thank heavens. I am so happy it is finally Springtime!!!!!!!

How have you enjoyed the warm weather?
Any suggestions for a pregnant woman about keeping cool? ;)

Food Blog (if only I had the time...)

I am seriously thinking about beginning a food blog. I do not profess to be an amazing chef--or even a "chef" at all, but thanks to Chopped, Cupcake Wars, Iron Chef, and Ratatouille, I think I am well on my way.

My cooking has improved significantly over this past year and no one is more surprised than me. I have always wanted to be a great cook like my Nana French and my mother, but I never quite got an opportunity to learn. For example, in high school, they shut down the cooking class the semester before I was going to take it. Despite this, the advice of my grandmother and mother (as well as the Food Network) has proved extremely useful in teaching me to cook. I must say, though, that what I've learned most from Chopped is basically that anything can be mixed with anything and somehow make a good meal. Don't quote me on that, but seriously, that's what they pretty much do every episode. 

So my thoughts are that I ought to create a little cookbook for married couples with very little cooking experience. It won't include anything too complex or too grand, just basic recipes that are really delicious and super easy to follow. Who knows? Maybe someday it will benefit our future kids when they (like us) have no idea what to make on any given weeknight.

If anyone has some good and easy recipes to share, I would really appreciate it.

The ones I have are mostly dishes like how to make meat and veggies, spaghetti with special sauce, a variety of breakfast dishes, and desserts. I'll compile them and eventually (one day...) put something together to help newly married (or newly on their own) students have a semi-decent dinner. 

What are your thoughts? 

The stuff I didn't know

For your information, the main pregnancy line is the vertical one in the circle. I took a negative one once and it was a very strong horizontal line. For whatever reason, it doesn't matter how faint the horizontal line is.

Before I became pregnant, I basically knew nothing about the whole pregnancy process. I knew you had to go to the doctor frequently for check ups and that there are three trimesters and that your belly grows quite a bit. I knew a little of stretch marks, certain sleeping positions, forbidden foods, and about birth and labor. 

But I truly did not know much else. I have been the first of my friends and cousins to be married and the first to have a baby. So everything that is going on is pretty new to me. It always annoyed me when moms would refer to their baby's age in terms of weeks or months ("Oh, he's 18 months." Can't you just say a year and a half!?). And the weeks system was confusing to me at first. I wasn't sure how many weeks a typical pregnancy is (now I know it's about 40) and I did not understand why everyone counts by weeks. 

Now I do. 

FYI, for the weeks thing, it's because the baby changes and develops so much week by week (it seems to happen so fast!). It's fun to follow, too, because most of the websites compare the baby to a fruit size and explain what their body is developing this week (like for week 13, the baby forms its own unique fingerprints and if it's a girl, she already has over 2 million eggs in her ovaries by now! So cool!). They go by weeks also because doing so helps you to determine which trimester you're in (in a few days I will be at 14 weeks! My second trimester!!!!) and you can sometimes even see dramatic changes in your body week by week. 

For example, I feel huge. Physically, (and literally) I don't look huge, but my body is just not used to the toll that pregnancy takes on a person. My belly (and really my whole torso) is extremely sensitive to pressure. Translation: I've been wearing my pants unbuttoned for three weeks or wearing them low like a hoodlum. I mentioned this in an earlier post, but some girl who must have felt sorry for me even pointed out that my pants weren't buttoned. She probably thought I was a complete weirdo to forget something like that but I definitely did not forget. Anyway, apart from that, I have a bunch of other symptoms...for instance:

• I get hungry very frequently. Even when I don't feel hungry, my stomach starts to hurt, correcting me because--according to the baby--I am in fact starving. Right now, I am actually so full of food (a.k.a. the Chicken Scampi from Olive Garden and chocolate almond ice cream) that I feel like my belly is going to pop. I don't want to eat so much, but I swear the baby twists my stomach in its little fingers until I do (that's sort of what it feels like). As far as cravings, I don't really have any, just a number of food aversions that haven't gone away yet. I am mainly repulsed by anything that smells strongly (or makes the fridge smell). 
• Speaking of which, everything smells terrible. I can smell everything the moment I step in a room. The fridge and trash are the worst offenders. Anything that goes bad smells ten times worse than it would otherwise. When I do the dishes, I have to pour soap all over everything to cover any smells. And then try not to breath. 
• When I pee, I pee a LOT. And it is much more challenging to hold it for a long time. TMI? Get used to it. Being pregnant helps a lot of personal boundaries fade. I'm not sure yet if they're permanent. Also, apparently I'm dehydrated even though I drink like two and a half water bottles daily.
• Ugh, let's get this one over with. So far the symptom I have hated the most is definitely the breaking out. I've never really had to put up with this much before now so it's particularly distressing to me (plus, where the heck is that stupid pregnancy glow that's supposed to happen?) but recently it's been getting much better and I'm hoping the second trimester will eliminate it completely. I cope by washing my face a lot (well, more than I have in the past) and using this great little scrub my doctor prescribed. It's a lifesaver! It stings like mad but it's so worth it. I also try combining lots of other skin clearing stuff. 
• I am exhausted. You thought you were tired going to school and work full-time? Try adding full-time pregnancy to that. I never was a nap taker (and I'm still not, though not by choice), but I could easily fall asleep were I to lie down at any point during the day.
• Sleeping is a challenge. I thought I would sleep extra soundly because of my extreme exhaustion, but (believe it or not) my body gets in the way. You are not really supposed to sleep on your back because it is bad for circulation (the baby needs blood!), I can't even imagine attempting to sleep on my stomach, and picking a side to sleep on is a constant battle. I keep a little pillow between my knees for cushion but find myself flipping over multiple times during the night. I wake up a lot--only for a minute or so, to roll over and adjust my pillow, but it is super annoying and does not help for getting a restful night's sleep. 
• I get dizzy often. This is my own fault, I stand up way too fast when I'm supposed to take it easy. But it's hard when you change from your normal habits to having to baby yourself a lot more. 
• My back gets so, SO itchy. Usually it's the belly that gets itchy, and I anticipate that that will come, but for now my back is driving me crazy. I am constantly scratching it (or attempting to like a monkey). It must be the change in circulation or something, but whatever it is, I can't wait for it to end! 
• I already have what they call "pregnancy brain." What is that, you ask? Well essentially, it is when one does random/absurd things (or when one cannot do normal things) for no tangible reason. This includes getting upset over tiny things and blowing up (followed by a flood of sincere guilt), crying over ridiculous things, doing something many times without realizing you're doing it (like unlocking the car 80 times with the key fob), forgetting to finish things (I put this mainly because I just did exactly that with this bullet, accidentally abandoning it), and starting to say things in a very incoherent way. I do the last one at work all the time. And on the phone. And with Dalin. It's really annoying because it feels like I can't control my speech. 
• And a new one--drooling. Thank heavens no one has seen this. I would be mortified. But when it happens I usually laugh because it comes out of nowhere and so far I've been the only one present to witness it. 

There are a few other things that happen...but I can't really talk about those here. You can ask me privately though if you're wondering. But they aren't for men--I mean the public to read.

You know, I just realized that many, if not all of these things are very much like a baby itself. I mean, babies eat and pee a lot, they often sleep poorly, many get baby acne, they don't have much control over their brain, and they drool. So apparently, to make a baby, you have to become a baby. Who knew? Oh, and I just read the most LOVELY thing about pooping while giving birth. It happens to something like 90% of women. More things to look forward to.

But overall, (despite my complaints, which are more admissions of the truth from my point of view) I love being pregnant. I love when Dalin rubs or touches my belly with so much tenderness and I love the moments when I can lay in bed alone and share a private moment with my future son or daughter. I  cannot wait to meet him or her! I just know that however wonderful I keep imagining it to be, it's going to be a zillion times more so.

Now, do you have any advice for me? 

Or perhaps a question or two about what I'm experiencing? (I'll do my best to answer anything you throw at me, especially because I wish someone had given me the same opportunity)

P.S. My wonderful and thoughtful husband just brought me my favorite treat--chocolate almond ice cream with milk in a glass. There's just one problem but I didn't have the heart to tell him--I just ate a huge glass of ice cream and milk before I picked him up from class. Oh well. I'll just have to force it down ;)

Updates & Exercise is Good!

Have I been terrible at this recently or what?

Well, I've certainly been busy. I work full time--every weekday--and am starting classes. Unfortunately, I do not yet have all the materials I need and have not been able to start my classes yet. But the books should be here any day now (I ordered them from Amazon and saved a ton of money!). On top of that, I am exhausted. I seriously have next to no energy. You should see our apartment... (actually you shouldn't). Dalin has been at work and class from 9am-6:45pm each day. My poor sweetheart is tired from his long days, too. 

We hate being apart from each other for close to ten hours of the day. It doesn't leave much time for talking, playing, laughing, and snuggling which are our favorite things to do together. But we make sure we read our scriptures together each night and take turns saying a family prayer. I am so grateful that we both can work at this time and prepare and save for our future family. I know we will be so thankful for the things we are enduring now.

Sneak peak at our Christmas pics!

Today I went to my first indoor cycling class at 9am. I had to park stinking far because the parking lot by the indoor practice facility is full of psychos. The classroom is very narrow, plain, and loud due to the sound of several bike gears moving, the music blasting, and the fans set up at the front and back of the room. I could barely hear the instructor who acknowledged me when I entered. I had to yell that I wanted to add the class and then when he couldn't hear me, some girl repeated it louder.

I still am not technically in the class...yet. But since there were empty bikes, he told me to stay. I picked a bike in the back and figured out how to adjust it at various points during the class period. It was pretty fun--cycling while listening to the instructor's music and getting told to try different pedaling positions and stuff. My only complaint was that the bike seat was KILLING me. It was seriously SO uncomfortable on my butt! After, I felt like I had been sitting on a huge, rough rock with my bare butt for several hours. 

Later, I left work for thirty minutes to get a flu shot at the Student Health Center. I was so freaked out for it because in the past I have nearly fainted after getting it. I tried to be prepared by bringing some cold water to sip while I was waiting. When the nice, nice lady called me in, I told her I was nervous and she was so sympathetic. I rolled my sleeve up just past my elbow but she told me I needed to roll it all the way to the top of my shoulder. I wasn't sure why but I looked away as she talked to me and when she put it in my shoulder I was so incredibly relieved. Shoulder shots are nothing. I hate getting needles in the crook of my elbow though. I was so happy afterward and the sweet lady gave me crackers and an apple juice box before I left just in case I felt lightheaded. Needless to say, I was very happy it was over with, and was therefore in a great mood when I returned to work.

The end of the day always goes by so fast. I hurried home and picked up the house as much as I could before I had to go get Dalin. It was one of the first night's in a while I had the energy to clean up at all. I hate having a messy house but sometimes, other things in life take priority. It is definitely better than it was. We still have a few things strewn around that need to be put away, but for the most part, I am just satisfied that I got a few things done!

Maybe it's the exercise (it probably is) but I'm in a surprisingly good mood!  I think I will go to bed early tonight so I can get 9 or so hours of sleep. That is, after I give my cute husband a great big kiss ;)