Catching Up

Happy belated Valentine's Day! I love Valentine's Day because I love the color red and I love stuff with hearts and getting fresh flowers. But Dalin and I had a less traditional celebration because we were in Las Vegas for our good friends' Jason and Halie's wedding! The two got married on the 15th in the Las Vegas temple.

Anyway, the trip was awesome (and tiring) and included warm weather, last-minute hotels, visiting the strip, awesome food from a Las Vegas buffet, a temple sealing, a luncheon, a wedding reception, sleeping in our car overnight, long drives, and lots more craziness. Plus I almost got kicked out of several places for looking 16. One, I have a kid and two, I turn 23 this year, folks. But it's all good. (Also, I realize that saying I have a baby doesn't help since half the teenagers these days are getting pregnant but oh well). I will have to catch up with these stories later though because I am just so exhausted...it's been a long, long day. And I pretty much never want to get in the car again. 

Time to go snuggle my husband and baby girl (lucky her, she's been asleep the last couple hours already ;). 

Hope you all had an equally exciting Valentine's weekend! Here are some favorite pics, just to give you a sample...

I stinking love this girl.

Freaking precious for Valentine's :)

BFFs foreva'

What was your favorite part of Valentine's Day? 

Have you ever been to Vegas? What do you think of it?

Being Comfortable With Husbands

WE MADE IT TO ALL THREE HOURS OF CHURCH TODAY AND LAST WEEK.
Sorry but that deserved all caps because 8:30am church is cruel and we have a very hard time making it (at least on time) half the time. We were still late for the first hour, but hey, we made it.

I never regret going to church. But I do feel regret any time I miss it. Church just starts the week off right for me and every time I go, someone gives a message that seems like it was meant specifically for me. This week, that happened in Relief Society (third hour, when all the women gather for a class). I missed the first part of the lesson because I had taken Tenley in the mother's lounge to feed her. It would have been easy to stay in there, rocking in one of the many nice comfortable chairs, but I wanted to hear the message.

When I came into the Relief Society room, the lesson discussion seemed to be about husbands and dealing with marital trials. The woman speaking told of how she decided to try treating her husband as a guest in order to improve their relationship. I was so surprised to hear her say that because that was something I also had tried during the last few months to improve our relationship. And because it helped both of us, I decided to share my experience.

Photos from our dating days

I know I'm not alone after talking with several other wives about the subject, so I will try not to feel bad when I say that in the last few months I was not sure what was happening to my marriage. Things were not bad--nothing had really changed in our relationship, but things weren't GREAT. My attitude had changed. I grew repeatedly frustrated when I realized how different we were from the time we had gotten married more than two years before. Where was that lovey-dovey feeling from when we were dating? Where was the romance? Where was the passion when we kissed? Marriage changed that. Suddenly, we could do anything we wanted and because we could do it, there was less of a yearning for it. We could kiss whenever we wanted. We could do more than kiss. We didn't have to say goodbye ever. We stopped doing things for each other the way we had while dating and engaged. It was not like we never did things for each other, but they were less often and far between. And that angered me.

What is happening to us? I would ask in my head over and over. Why can't things be the same as when we were dating? I even asked Dalin this a few times and he finally told me that it hurt his feelings when I asked him that. I realized that in saying that, I sounded as though I did not love him as much as I did then. But that wasn't true. I loved him more. So what changed?

The answer: our attitudes. Specifically mine, because mine is the only one I can actually fix anyway. Time changed our attitudes. I do not love Dalin any less than when we were engaged, but over time, I have grown used to feeling that love so constantly that I do not notice it as much. It doesn't seem as magical or exciting because it has become the norm. Other things have changed, too--we have a daughter obviously for one, and we are in different places in our lives than we were then. We don't buy each other candy or flowers or write notes as often anymore because sometimes it feels like we've done it all, and we've said it all. We have grown too comfortable with one another.

That was something that I also allowed to bother me--us being too comfortable. Maybe it's just me, but I didn't like that we were so comfortable with one another that farting/tooting (whatever you say) was no big deal. Just because we're married doesn't mean we should give up being polite in front of one another. Dalin did not like that I had no problem burping in front of him (though obviously burping is way less gross than tooting...;) so we made a pact. No burping or tooting around each other intentionally and if we fail, the other person gets a freebie. (We're weird. And gross).

But anyway the point is, that just because we've grown comfortable doesn't mean we can't do new things for each other. We can serve each other. I can treat Dalin like I would a guest. By that I mean I can offer him something to drink and ask him questions like I did when we were dating. I can get him a snack once in a while. I can treat him like a friend because that's what he is to me. Why is it that we would be more willing to serve a guest than our spouse sometimes? (Well, this applies to me anyway.) I think we need to work on that. I'm going to work on that. I'm not going to complain when my husband asks me for a favor (at least, I'm going to try and stop myself when I start to). I'm going to be more polite around him. I'm going to be loving especially when he gets home from work. I'm going to thank him more often. I'm going to compliment him more often.

Another thing we discussed that will help us strengthen our marriages is going to the temple as often as possible. You may feel like you are incredibly busy or even like you do not want to be around your spouse. If you get to that point, know you can change your relationship. You can fix it. It will take work, but if that desire is in your heart, you can turn your relationship around. This is where the temple comes in. When we put the Lord before ourselves, we often find that everything else in our busy lives somehow falls into place. (It's the same as the principle of tithing). Dedicate yourself more fully to your spouse. If you are not yet married, you can still serve your future spouse. That may sound weird, but I'm serious. You can pray for him or her. The thought of doing that did not occur to me until I was sitting in a lesson in Young Women's during high school. Pray for your future spouse. Pray that he will make good choices. Pray that he will be safe. Pray that he will be happy. Prayer works.

I guess the goal of this post is to encourage men and women especially to re-commit to their spouses. You may have been feeling out of tune with your spouse lately and if that's the case then fix it. Fix it now before it gets worse or it's too late.

I need feedback. 
How do you stay in love with your husband (or wife)? 
How do you encourage your spouse? 
What are some ideas you have for serving your spouse?

Bragging: My Super Successful Week

I need to brag for a minute. Very rarely do I say this (in fact, I'm not sure I've ever actually said it...), but I am proud of myself this week. I got so much accomplished and it feels really good:

My mom and I cleaned the apartment, 

I had a much-needed teeth cleaning at the dentist (I promise I brush and floss!), 

We had our car serviced, washed, and cleaned (tire rotation, oil change, vacuumed, etc.), 

I got a doctor's appointment out of the way, 

I completed our Medicaid application, 

Tenley and I went to our first WIC appointment,
Drove through Nebo Loop and took family pictures,

I wrote an essay for English, 

I went to the temple with Dalin (which made me SO happy!),

& I spent time with my mom, husband, daughter, and brother and sister-in-law! 

I would say it's been a successful week! I'm pretty glad that it's over though...a lot of stressful things (and some fun) all combined into six days. Still, I think next year I will do the same and plan one get-everything-done week. None of it would have been possible without my mom being here though. I'm so grateful she was able to watch Tenley and motivate me to accomplish all that I was able to. I guess she'll just have to do the same next year, too! ;)

Have you ever taken a week and gotten a bunch of stressful things out of the way?
If not, you should try it!

Day 10: Temple Marriage & Eternity

The Lord's House, where inside, I have a better sense of my individual worth

 

I am so thankful for the gift of eternal marriage. When I think that my great grandmother, Nana Kane was away from her husband for 20+ years, I cannot imagine how she did it. And then I think of my grandmother, Grammy Hill, and how she has been apart from her beloved husband for 30+ years and I cannot fathom how she managed either.  Though I cannot even stand to think of being away from Dalin for so long, I am comforted by our belief in eternal families.

The reason I chose to be married to Dalin in a holy temple of the Lord was because I knew that only through the temple would there be the right authority to seal my husband to me--and me to him--for time and all eternity. No other authority can truly marry you beyond this life for all eternity.

I know that as a daughter of God, I am royalty. Dalin is a son of God, and therefore is also royalty. Sometimes, I do not feel like royalty. Sometimes I realize that I have not been trying my hardest and that I have the potential to do and be more. When this happens, I turn to the temple. In the temple, there is safety and peace. To me, it is like a castle and when I am inside, I feel like royalty.

There is NO place, I would rather be on this earth. I am grateful for temples and for the powerful spirit which is so strong within them. I hope someday that my children will be married here and have the opportunity to know of the most sincere and truest form of happiness that can be felt on this earth.

My eternal sweetheart ;) So handsome

Families are forever! If you do not believe this, find out for yourself!

Here is a good place to start...

General Conference

Today was the most wonderful day.

Dalin and I awoke at 9:57 and turned on our TV to watch the first session of General Conference.
For those of you who may not know, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints holds a General Conference twice a year (October and April) and broadcasts it across the world so that all members of the Church can view and participate. During Conference, we have the most special opportunity to listen to an inspired modern-day prophet who is led by the voice of the Lord. We also listen to his wonderful councilors, who advise us on things that we can do in our lives to find more happiness.

Our beloved prophet, President Thomas S. Monson, addressed the Saints first yesterday. He told us that he has seen that maturity of the missionaries from other countries where the serving age is 18 years old. He went on to announce that he would like to give all worthy, mature, and ready young men the same opportunity to serve at the age of 18. He went on to address the sisters in the Church, and added that all worthy, prepared young women may now serve a mission at the age of 19.

This is remarkable revelation for us as members of the Church. All young men are strongly encouraged to serve a two-year LDS mission. Since the Church was restored, the age for men has been 19, and 21 has been the age for women who desired to serve a mission. This revelation is therefore life changing. There will be hundreds, if not thousands, more missionaries going into the world to teach the gospel of Christ as a result. I also think that there will be many more marriages at a younger age in the Church. This will result in a tremendous burst of growing LDS families.

So after watching the first session from home, we hurriedly got dressed up for the second session. We met up with Dalin's sister, Shaina, and with her boyfriend, Layton. Together (and with Shaina and Layton's friend, Kyle) we all drove to Salt Lake and got in the unfathomably long line at the Conference Center. Shaina and I retrieved tickets from our gorgeous cousin, Taylor Moore, and rejoined the men in line. The second session of Conference was wonderful as always. Here are a few things that stood out to me:

Elder Lee Tom Perry spoke about families, parenthood, and marriage. He said that five things we can do to strengthen our families now is to:

1. Pray together as a family
2. Hold FHE (Family Home Evening) and eat family dinners together
3. Communicate with children's leaders (learn each child's needs and work to strengthen them)
4. Share testimony often
5. Set clear, simple family rules; give an allowance for performing chores as a way to teach budgeting and paying tithing at a young age

Elder Melvin Russell Ballard (whom I have met!) related the members of the Church to bees. Our small acts of compassion may seem insignificant, yet our efforts combined can result in a tremendous change. Each bee only contributes 1/12 of a teaspoon of honey in its entire life. How small this effort seems, and yet we know that this bee is crucial in its role in the hive. Elder Ballard suggests that each day in our personal morning prayer, we ask Heavenly Father to find an opportunity to serve others. Then, we should go about our day with our hearts open, seeking opportunities to serve. We can be an answer to someone else's prayer. We should be able to answer in the affirmative when we ask, "Have I done any good in the world today?"

Elder Dallin Harris Oaks spoke mostly of children and marriage. He encouraged us to guard marriage and hold it sacred in our hearts. He stated that the very prevalent and far too frequent immediate separation of marriages--without attempted resolution--is an evil in the world. He conveyed the importance of having children and raising them well mentally, spiritually, and physically. He also shared some startling statistics about how many children live in today's world. The facts are astounding.

Right after Saturday's conference :)

Such a funny picture--that couple was great.

Dalin, Shaina & Layton, Kyle, and me (Olivia)

As the second session of conference concluded, Dalin and I made our way back to Shaina, Layton, and Kyle and hurried through temple square (where I was forced to take all action shots, not having time to stop) and back to the car. We drove to Lehi, where we met one of the most wonderful families (Layton's). They invited us into their home (they have ten wonderful children and four grandchildren) and fed us. While Dalin went to the Priesthood session of conference with Layton and his brothers, Shaina and I talked to Layton's mother and met his sisters. I really had a great time and it was so nice to be in a home again.

They sent us away with some DELICIOUS honey dew melon and rhubarb from their garden. They truly blessed our lives last night.

The most adorable family...and a good example of the reason I want lots of boys and a big family.

I love General Conference! So excited for Sunday!
:)

If you do not know what General Conference is, and are curious, feel free to ask me!

It was only just a dream...or was it?

Well, we are home. Our home is at little 300 Wymount Terrace in little Provo, Utah. We just returned from a marvelous trip to my lovely home state of New Hampshire. While Utah will never be my real home, I am starting to accept that it's okay if it is my temporary home...for a little while. We have about two years left of school at BYU and then we are free to do as we like. 

Can I just say, that being married while in school is so much easier. Probably because the boyfriend who was a huge distraction before is now a permanent, less obvious distraction that I see daily and who is more helpful and less likely to make me want to skip class. Our overall priority is to learn, earn some major moolah, graduate, and begin our family a.s.a.p. So far, the only thing we have succeeded at doing is learning. In our marriage, we are learning lots of things, like how to communicate better, trust one another, have patience, and share our thoughts. It is a lot of work--equivalent to a full-time job--but it is the best job I've ever had! ;)

Now it's time to re-cap our trip. 

A Little Visit to New Hampshire 
August 4 ~ Our travel day & arrival

Finally got to see my mom after an entire year. Wayyy  too long. 

I cried the second I saw my family waving to me from behind the glass. Especially when I saw Donovan. I can't believe I am missing him during his growing years. He is going to be a teenager this month which is simply unbelievable to me. It was so nice also to get home and see Payson again, hug my mom and dad, and to see my little doggie back in the comfort of my parents' home. 

August 5 ~ Visit to my old ward & visit with my 96-year old great grandmother

How nice was it to be back in my home ward? So nice. I realized I had missed everyone and just the spirit of the meetings back home. After church, we visited my great grandmother, Nana Kane, at the nursing home where she lives. It brought me to tears seeing how tired and worn she is, but she still brought smiles to our faces as she hugged and kissed her great grandson, Donovan. It was so nice to catch up with family. 

August 6 ~ Pirate's Cove beach, downtown Portsmouth & lobster with best friends

Today was a good day to visit the ocean. We opted to go to Pirate's Cove, which is more public than the beach we typically go to, but Donovan had wanted to show us how he could wakeboard and so we humored him. It was a very pretty, sunny day. As you can see, we all enjoyed the soft ocean water. 

  Donovan and I had fun burying Payson in the sand. 

Then Donovan had fun dumping cold sea water on me. 

Here's us, being a cute married couple out on the town haha. We ate chips and salsa in downtown Portsmouth then headed home where we had Megan and Sarah over for lobster (which, for those who do not know, is my absolute favorite food)! 

Hanging out with my best friends, eating some amazing lobster. Or as they say in New England, "lobstah." ;)

August 7 ~ Haircut, trip to Boston Temple, Quincy Market & Red Sox game
On this morning I got a haircut. Finally. Then we headed down to Boston with Donovan and Mom so that Dalin and I could do some sealings at the temple where we were married just over a year ago. We had a fun time taking some pictures in front of our gorgeous temple, too. 

 

After our visit to the Boston temple, we took the T to Quincy Market for a clam chowder bread bowl and a delicious $7 smoothie. But it was totally worth it. We had had both on our honeymoon  the year before which is why we made it a point to stop there for dinner.

After, we took the T to Fenway and watched the Red Sox play the Rangers. We had ridiculously good seats and had a blast even though we lost the game. 

Home-run smooch

Please notice how amazing our seats were. My dad is awesome for getting those for us. Also notice how cute my little brother is. I love him so much! Anyway, it was a terrific day in Boston.

August 8 ~ Beans & Greens, Mill Falls, Jetskiing, & Johnson's ice cream
We began the day by visiting my old workplace, Beans & Greens farm, and getting some delicious panini sandwiches for lunch. Then, Donovan, Mom, and us drove to Mill Falls and walked around the fun bookstores and quaint shops. We also spent some money at the candy store. 

 

After, we jetskied on Lake Winnipesaukee and then went out for ice cream with the family. 

With my boys :) Dalin, Donny, Payson, and Dad. 

August 9 ~ 21st birthday, Ice House, Fort Stark, mall trip, steakhouse & Silver Fountain Inn

Well today I turned 21. I really had nothing in mind for my birthday, so naturally my decision was to go to the ocean. We went to Fort Stark and scoured the beach for sea glass. We ate lunch and ice cream at the Ice House, and then went to the Fox Run Mall to shop. The only thing I really wanted for my birthday was a cute toe ring. We found two, and I love them. After the mall, we met my dad at a steakhouse for dinner. The food was extremely good. Then, as a little surprise for my birthday and for our upcoming anniversary, my mother reserved a place for us at the Silver Fountain Inn--the very place we stayed on our wedding night. It's a complicated explanation, but basically we ended up staying at home with the family despite her really thoughtful gift. We wanted to save Mom's money but more importantly, we knew we only had limited time to spend with the family and so we made that choice. 

August 10 ~ Rainy day, Moultonboro Country Store, & Moulton Farms
It poured today, and I loved it. I had been waiting for rain for too long. We decided today to visit one of the oldest country stores in the country--Moultonboro Country Store. It has lots of fun gifts and old fashioned candy there, too. We walked around together and then headed to a local farm-stand to get fresh food for lunch.

View of the store in the pouring rain

Who got me those sweet blue jeggings, you ask? None other than my smart, tasteful husband.

August 11 ~ Kittery, Maine, Fort Foster, & Bugaboo Creek
It was another ocean day today. We went to Fort Foster and even though it was overcast, who doesn't love a sweatshirt day at the beach? I endured the windiness, knowing once I returned to Utah I would regret not loving every moment spent at the ocean. 

Skipping rocks at the ocean

With my best friend and eternal companion

After the beach, we drove to downtown Kittery, Maine to visit a huge candy store and Kittery Trading Post. We ate at Bugaboo Creek for dinner. 

With two cuties in Kittery

August 12 ~ Church, Andy & Molly's lake house, water volleyball & word games
After Church on Sunday, we took a few family pictures outside. They came out pretty great, and I especially like this one where everyone is all smiles...and no one blinked. 

My eternal family :)

I cannot share how much I love this picture

We headed to Andy and Molly's lakehouse for some water volleyball and quality family time. We stayed late and played word games like Boggle and Bananagrams. It was a great Sunday/family night.

August 13 ~ Fort Foster, browsing around downtown Portsmouth & ice cream at Annabelle's
Very nice day today. Because the weather was good, we went back to Fort Foster (my favorite beach because it less busy than most) and soaked up some sun. 

I loved watching them play :) Dalin, Payson, and Donovan

Once we were tired of the beach for the day, we packed up and went to downtown Portsmouth for ice cream at Annabelle's. We finished the day with another lobster dinner.

Eating lobster (again!) at home. The best.

August 14 ~ Lunch at Uno's, Tilton Outlet Mall & friend's night
We had a difficult time deciding what to do with the day, but since we were exhausted, we ended up taking it easy and going out for lunch--just the two of us--then we did some light shopping at an outlet mall. 

We had friends over for a game night later on and it was really enjoyable. 

August 15 ~ Funspot, dinner with grandparents & parenthood practice

We tried to take it easy today as well. We went to Funspot--the world's largest arcade--located in Meredith, New Hampshire, and played lots of games just for fun. On one game, I won the "Monster Jackpot." Not even just the regular jackpot. I won over one thousand tickets and it took forever to get them all. But it was so cool, so it was definitely worth it. 

Shortly after I won...these are only a fraction of the tickets 

Later that night, we went back to Andy and Molly's lakehouse to babysat our cousins, Jack and Cael for the night. My grandparents took us all out for dinner then brought us some ice cream. They are so wonderful :)

He is going to be the best dad. The boys loved  him. 

Out to eat with my grandparents

Handsome boys :)

August 16 ~ Panera Bread & Canobie Lake Park
We went out for lunch at Payson's favorite cafe chain and then to New Hampshire's amusement park called Canobie Lake for our very first time. My dad couldn't make it, which I felt bad about, but we had a good time--particularly on the water rides. 

After getting soaked on "The Boston Tea Party" ride

A really good picture of us on the log ride--pre-getting soaked

Waiting in line to ride the Corkscrew...ouch

My mom came on a ride with us! She hardly ever can, but it was so awesome that she did! 

In the photo booth...with our own camera ;)

We stayed until 10pm, when the park closed, and slept on the way home. It was a really good close to our trip. 

August 17 ~ The Sad Return 
The dreaded day. I was so anti-leaving, I would have been willing to quit my job and switch schools if I didn't have Dalin. But life can be hard, and though leaving New Hampshire and my family was really hard (and we were all in tears at the airport though we had promised we wouldn't be), I am comforted knowing that my family is forever and that no matter how long we are apart in this life, I have them for eternity. Knowing this, and having the loving hand of my husband to hold as we went through security leaving my family behind, were the only things that comforted me as we got on our plane to return to--what is temporarily--our home. 

Bye New Hampshire. I love everything about you. 

Our backyard on a wonderful rainy day

Gorgeous oceans