Catching Up

Happy belated Valentine's Day! I love Valentine's Day because I love the color red and I love stuff with hearts and getting fresh flowers. But Dalin and I had a less traditional celebration because we were in Las Vegas for our good friends' Jason and Halie's wedding! The two got married on the 15th in the Las Vegas temple.

Anyway, the trip was awesome (and tiring) and included warm weather, last-minute hotels, visiting the strip, awesome food from a Las Vegas buffet, a temple sealing, a luncheon, a wedding reception, sleeping in our car overnight, long drives, and lots more craziness. Plus I almost got kicked out of several places for looking 16. One, I have a kid and two, I turn 23 this year, folks. But it's all good. (Also, I realize that saying I have a baby doesn't help since half the teenagers these days are getting pregnant but oh well). I will have to catch up with these stories later though because I am just so exhausted...it's been a long, long day. And I pretty much never want to get in the car again. 

Time to go snuggle my husband and baby girl (lucky her, she's been asleep the last couple hours already ;). 

Hope you all had an equally exciting Valentine's weekend! Here are some favorite pics, just to give you a sample...

I stinking love this girl.

Freaking precious for Valentine's :)

BFFs foreva'

What was your favorite part of Valentine's Day? 

Have you ever been to Vegas? What do you think of it?

Why Marriage and Babies Are WORTH IT

I just read two bull crap articles from Huffington post that really angered me. They angered me so much, that I had to reply by blogging because that's just the way I am.

The first was this piece of crap. I mean honestly, I don't know if I've read a more bitter and stupid article with zero merit whatsoever. Then I read this ridiculous thing. It was also bitter and also stupid in my opinion. These two articles epitomize the brand of feminism that I despise. It's the type that discourages women from their ultimate potential as wives and mothers that also portrays women with these roles in a negative light. In addition, they are negative toward men. That just drives me crazy.

Mainly, I am writing to clear up a few things that I was dying to say to the ladies who wrote the articles.

First, they must have had sad, miserable childhoods to grow up so bitter, uncaring, and spiteful toward the two things that are God's greatest gifts to mankind. They were clearly raised with a distorted view of what true womanhood is and I feel sorry for them. Truly sorry, because they have no idea on the happiness they are missing out on. I doubt it was in their nature to believe so wrongly, (in fact, I know it wasn't because every woman is born with a divine nature) but the way they were brought up obviously influenced their views.

Second, not all marriages are miserable and end in divorce. Clearly. There are circumstances that occur in some marriages that no one can predict. I am not justifying divorce, but I am admitting that there are times when it is necessary. For Dalin and I, we determined as boyfriend and girlfriend (even before we became engaged!) that the word divorce would not be in our vocabulary. It's simply not an option. That is how you must go into marriage if you want it to last. It reminds me of that ecard I've seen on Pinterest--this one:

I find it ironic that the same people who declare marriage should be available for everyone would at the same time mention that most marriages end in divorce. While it is unfortunately a fact that approximately half of marriages fail in present day, I have to ask, if so many marriages result in separation or divorce, then why fight so hard for it at all? Why fight for any couple of humans to be able to marry if it might just be a waste of time? The answer is because marriage is important. Whether you believe it is intended for one man and one woman as I do or whether you believe it is for any two humans, it is inherently important to the human race. Marriage is sacred, which is why it must be honored and defended.

The one--ONE--thing I agreed with the second writer on was that far too much money is spent on weddings. To each his own, but we spent very little on our wedding. My aunt made my wedding cake for me. Another aunt arranged my flowers and made the bouquets and boutonnieres. An aunt and uncle photographed everything for me. My mom got a deal on our reception place. Instead of doing a full dinner, we did a variety of fruit, cheese, crackers, punch. My mom talked the price of my wedding dress down to around $400. Instead of getting a DJ, I put together a playlist for the reception on my laptop which my brother ran for me. My mom had found a ton of mason jars at a yard sale which she cleaned out and filled with ocean sand and added a candle for my tables. She also collected antique bottles from sales for decoration. I loved how simple and inexpensive these were. And after it ended, I had zero regrets. My parents didn't lose a nonexistent fortune, and Dalin and I had money to put toward our rent and things for our home. We were frugal. We didn't spend more than a couple thousand on the wedding, if that. And I loved my wedding. Everything about it. It was easily the happiest day of my life and well worth celebrating. Her point about people divorcing as a result of their wedding is irrelevant. If a couple divorces over that, then they should not have been marrying in the first place. Those people who are in it for the free stuff and for the attention are not marrying for the correct reason. They may blindly believe this to be the case because they are so caught up with plans to celebrate themselves. But those people cannot be lumped in with the rest of us--the ones who are truly committed and don't toss around the term "marriage" like it's a trip through a drive-thru. It's not. It is something intended to be eternal. Not just until death, but forever and ever. That is my testimony of marriage.

Just because I have this view of marriage does not make it a cake walk. It's not easy. Dalin and I argue. We stress over money. We disagree on things like how to raise our children and where we want to end up. But the difference is we do not let those things block our ultimate goal of being a family forever. Nothing brings more happiness than being a part of a loving family. Nothing.

Back to the articles--one writer complains that she had to pay an excessive amount to be a part of three different weddings. (Um, may I point out that she could have said no if she was aware they were going to cost that much, which she must have been after the first one.) She then uses this as an excuse as to why celebrating a wedding is pointless and "brags" how she married with only one witness present and then celebrated her marriage a year later with a $15,000 celebration. Glad she has taught the world the "right" way to do things. Except she is clueless. As mentioned before, I hardly spent anything on my reception. I spent as much on the entire day as some women spend on their wedding dress alone. On our wedding day, our family and friends were celebrating, with us, the day that we made an eternal commitment--a sacred promise--to devote ourselves to God and one another for eternity. To me that's worth celebrating.

What's more, the writer suggests that baby showers are a waste of time as they "send the message that getting pregnant is the pinnacle of achievement, as opposed to the beginning of 18 years of hard labor...ignoring the fact that the endeavor she is embarking on will cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and stunt her career opportunities for the rest of her life, not to mention the devastating impact on her social life." (How obnoxious is this lady? If I didn't feel sorry for her, I'd want to slap her across the face.) Then the other idiot writes, "We have baby showers and wedding parties as if it's a huge accomplishment and cause for celebration to be able to get knocked up or find someone to walk down the aisle with. These aren't accomplishments, they are actually super easy tasks, literally anyone can do them." First, many people--decent people--get pregnant because they want families. Most couples want children because they bring joy. Not everyone is like, "Shoot, we got pregnant and now our lives are over." Most people are excited because having your own children is awesome. What about the couples that struggled to get pregnant? Literally anyone can "get knocked up" so why can't they? Why celebrate their achievement "act" of getting pregnant, perhaps after years of trying? Because it's a miracle. A wonder and a miracle to be able to create life. In addition, I'd like to point out that the point of baby showers, apart from congratulating a couple on successfully making a human, is to help them acquire the things they need to get started. It's not about showing off and getting expensive things for everyone. I didn't get expensive things and I'm not complaining. And does the second woman really think that getting married can be done by "literally anyone"? If that were true, then why are there MILLIONS of people using dating sites to find the one person they want to spend forever with? Probably because many, many people want to get married but have not found someone yet.

I have many more thoughts on these two articles and their cynical-minded writers, but it is 2:30am (way past the time I intended to stay up) and I'm done for the night.

Please share your opinion on these articles with me. Or on my thoughts. Vent to me if you like. I'll respond--I'm a good venter as you may have noticed ;)

things to know BEFORE the wedding

i thought i'd make this list because, number one, IF i have a daughter someday (hopefully only one, if i do...), there are certain things i loved about my wedding and was really grateful to know and a few things i wish had been thought of. and number two, i think there are mothers or soon-to-be brides out there who also should be aware of these things.

so here we go. 


1. be sure to enjoy the day, (as cliché as that sounds) reminding yourself that despite the hassle it might be to interact with the endless numbers of guests (including several you may not know well or even at all), this is maybe the only day in your whole life that so many people will be celebrating only you and your companion. i found that after the festivities--which i had not necessarily been looking forward to--i wished the reception had been longer. looking back, it truly was the only time i have been given so much attention from members of my church, family, and friends. and although i tend to dislike attention, particularly in large groups, it felt nice to have the spotlight on Dalin and me for a few hours. so soak it up for the day.

2. talk to your future husband about the honeymoon before the honeymoon. yes, this sounds kind of awkward or even obvious, but it really needs to be done. i don't really want to go into this, but you and your future companion need to talk about this. sometimes it's hard, but it truly helps ease nerves, and gives you an idea of what to expect, and anything you can work out beforehand, so that your first weeks together can be stress-free and enjoyable. don't be afraid to ask each other questions or for advice. truly, try not to be embarrassed...after one day of being married, you already will begin to overcome any shyness or apprehensions you may have had before. President Spencer W. Kimball said, 

“The Bible makes plain that evil, when related to sex, means not the use of something inherently corrupt but the misuse of something pure and good. It teaches clearly that sex can be a wonderful servant but a terrible master: that it can be a creative force more powerful than any other in the fostering of love, companionship, and happiness, or can be the most destructive of all life’s forces.”

3. do NOT listen to all that you are told about the honeymoon. this includes information from friends, family, roommates, and especially the internet. especially if they have not been married themselves because you'll find that your situation is probably (most likely) completely different from theirs. i promise you that most of the things that you hear will be incorrect for you. i was fairly naive and had a lot of questions for all of the types of persons and other sources mentioned above. most of what i was told made me incredibly nervous and afraid. i felt intimidated and more anxiety than ever. because of this, i cannot stress the importance of developing a positive and accurate attitude regarding marital intimacy. go to a pre-marital course, like the one offered at BYU-Idaho or by a trained doctor. once you have correct facts and views, you will feel much more ready to face what is coming and learn that uncorrected fear [of pain] can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

4. if, like Dalin and myself, you were engaged after a rather short period of time, you may feel you need to justify yourself, or even deflect rumors that you're only doing it because you're "probably pregnant" or something as thick as that. don't feel as though you need to justify your pending marriage. for most people, when you know, you know. the Spirit will tell you, and probably not everyone else. stop caring about what other people think unless they have a truly valid reason to make you question yourself. if people think you're demented, they are most likely jealous, or they have no understanding of you, your circumstances, or your relationship. many of those potentially criticizing you, might find themselves in similar situations and won't they feel silly when they are receiving the same treatment from others.

5. here is some of Dalin's advice: keep notes about what they tell you in the temple. if you think you will be too busy to do it yourself at some point during the day, give a notebook and pen to a close friend or relative who will be present, but preferably not your parents--they'll want to enjoy the moment for themselves. if you are unable to do this, take a minute to make some notes in a journal before going out to take pictures. after pictures, you'll be too flustered to remember the key parts of your ceremony. 

6. speaking of pictures, try to enjoy the picture-taking. it sounds impossible because you have to tolerate a lot of group photos with various families, but make sure you take a break to take some fun ones with your spouse. as you've heard endlessly, the best way to remember your wedding day is through the pictures, and it does go by fast enough. i actually wish i had taken the time to plan out some pictures of the two of us together. i also wish i had some nice bridal photos, featuring in more detail my ring, bouquet, and especially my dress. so: plan ahead, and have patience with the photographers. 

7. plan through each day of your honeymoon. this does not mean that you have to stick to your plan! but it is my advice to have one. know what places or activities you would like to go to and participate in each day and have an idea of some places to eat. you don't need to go to gourmet restaurants each day, and it would be a waste to do so. think of ways to save money and still have a nice time. Dalin and i stayed close to home (well close to home for me) but we enjoyed our unique honeymoon and i was able to share many memories from my past with Dalin and we made plenty of our own as we tried new things together. 

8. register for gifts at a few places. this basically sums itself up. if you get duplicates, most places are pretty good about returns. even if you don't know where something came from, wal-mart, target, and bed bath and beyond are safe bets. sometimes they'll just take it if they aren't sure. registering is time-consuming and probably should be done before announcements even, so that you can make mention of your registries in the announcement....a word to the wise....

9. this goes along with the last two notes: request a few restaurant giftcards. whether they come from friends, your parents--whomever--we felt so grateful to have a number of $25 giftcards to some common local restaurants (such as Olive Garden, Outback Steakhouse, Applebee's, and others). they held us over for at least one nice meal a day and we didn't feel the strain of paying each time. i would highly suggest doing this. 

well, that's all i will advise for now. you might check back in for any additions, as i'm sure other things will occur to me. best wishes! 

updates

dalin and i are at (just about!) 55 days now until we are married. it's slowly getting there. we took engagement pictures while he was visiting me in rexburg. and though it was crazy (definitely my fault...) it was a lot of fun. my roommates courtney and rachel took them (free of charge haha) and did a marvelous job. it seemed like a nice sunday activity as we walked around the different parts of the gardens on campus.

things seem to be falling into place finally...as i knew they ultimately would. dalin has been working so hard to find other jobs, i have been occupied with school, (thankfully i am finishing up a few classes soon enough), but i had my first dress fitting done at circle of love (incredibly corny name for a wedding place, but not surprising for out west), i found my shoes, my mom has reserved the reception place and different hotels for dalin and i, flights were paid for, and decoration and cake ideas are coming together. i think the only thing i have left to do out here really is find a veil. and finalize and address announcements. i'm hoping that's all...anyway, thank heavens for those who enjoy helping out with this kind of thing. they are certainly blessing our life and unquestionably their own. dalin's mother and my own mother are prime examples of these people. what would we do without our mothers?

here are a few (temporary) engagement pictures. they turned out dang cute. at least of dalin ;)

happy, happy, happy