A Visit to the Paleontology Museum

Happy February!! Are you as joyful as I am to be out of January?
Yesterday, to end the month on a positive, and since Dalin didn't have to work, we wanted to do something fun as a family. I have been wanting to go to BYU's Paleontology Museum for a while now (I just love museums--of all types) and yesterday we finally went! We only paid $2 to get in (it's technically free but they have a suggested donation box which says $1 for adults and $0.50 for kids). It is pretty amazing if you are in the area and have never been. For one thing, most of the bones and fossils found are local. Which is insane to me for some reason. I forget that dinosaurs existed at all sometimes, never mind that there were any living in North America...I always picture them over in Africa or down in South America or something.

Anyway, the museum is not very large and can take anywhere between twenty minutes to an hour and a half to walk through depending on how interested you are in reading the information with the displays. I think it took us about forty minutes, though I would have loved to stay longer (I just love the atmosphere of museums!).

So if you live in the Provo area and have little kids who would be interested in dinosaurs, fossils, and rocks (or if you would be interested yourself), I would definitely make time to stop by. Plus, I loved that it wasn't busy. Crowds and lines are a pain. This place only had one other little group of a mom and some little kids there.

Here are some photos we took on our phones:

Cutest little dinosaur of all

Can you believe these things were found in Utah?

Have you ever been to the Paleontology Museum? 

Do you like this kind of stuff?

Do you believe in dinosaurs? ;) 

There Is A Point To All This

I was thinking very seriously last night about why I write this blog. Why do I? It can't be just because I enjoy writing. The time it takes to think of decent topics and take specific photos for those topics and actually write a post requires more effort than I would care to put into something just for the sake of doing it.

So I had to ask myself, is it just because I'm crazy passionate about what I believe in? That could play a role. In fact, it definitely does because I can't help but want to share the happiness the gospel of Jesus Christ brings me with others. As I've learned recently, not all of my readers believe in the same things I do. Why this was a revelation to me, you'll soon know. It seems like every time I post something even mildly controversial (and sometimes when I don't even intend for it to be controversial) I receive critical comments from readers who obviously disagree with me and feel the need to explain why I am wrong. Usually the first time I read these comments, it bugs me. As a human, I can't help but feel a tiny bit bothered that someone things I'm a hateful, ignorant, intolerant person because I think differently than they do. (This, by the way, is the very definition of intolerance--"unwillingness to accept views, beliefs, or behavior that differ from one's own.")

Thankfully, in the last few years, I've trained myself to not let these comments bother me. It's not at all that I don't care about what these people have to say, because I do. But I no longer allow their negativity, frustration, anger, etc. ruin my day or my life. I just can't afford to let that happen. It is my choice to take offense. It is my choice to be miserable. It is also my choice to be happy.

Once I made the mistake of commenting on some boy's status from my high school. He was bringing up the subject of gay marriage and I (stupidly, for I knew his political views) decided to give my two cents and wrote that I felt God intended marriage to be between a man and a woman, and made a suggestion that same-sex relationships be labeled civil unions instead so as not to alter the sacred nature and definition of marriage. The backlash I received for that simple comment was ridiculous. Everyone immediately attacked my views, calling me a "bigot" and a hater and some words I won't even say. NO one stood by me or even made an effort to understand my views. The comments that were made were plain cruel and completely out of line and basically the attacks got so bad that I had to delete the boy as a "friend." For some reason, I especially took offense to being called a bigot. A bigot?! I wanted to say. Every single person from my high school who knew ANYTHING about me, including that boy, knew I was about as far from a bigot as a person can be. In fact, many times I was told by classmates (who were not close to me at all) that I was the nicest person they'd ever met. People just liked me because I tried to be kind to everyone. I was not what I'd call "popular" because I didn't participate in many of the things that those particular classmates did, but I think that everyone liked me. When I finally realized how ridiculous that label was, (though it took me like a week to stop thinking about it, it bothered me so much) I made a conscious decision to not let people's words affect me. It wasn't like I was unaware that not everyone has the same beliefs as I do. But if they had a right to share their views, then so did I.

I may be a minority in the way I think, particularly as a Mormon. But in my mind, that makes my need even greater to share what I believe and stand firm in my values. So few people in modern day have the courage to share their convictions with others. I do not intend to be one of those people. I know in my heart what is right and I have to stand for it. In some ways, I have a responsibility to do so. This quote, for whatever reason, really resonates with me:

“The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.” ~JFK referencing Dante's Inferno

It is more important than ever that people courageously stand for goodness. And I have to admit--even if someone is at the complete opposite end of the political spectrum than I am, if they truly believe in a cause and stand for it, that is preferable in my mind to bearing no opinion whatsoever for the sake of neutrality.

So again, why do I write? It is not just to promote my political views, my morals, my values, my religion. As already stated, I feel that is important. But I also write to be a tiny positive light in this dark world. I write to record my joys and encourage others to triumph. I write to help others become their best self. I write to make ordinary things in life worthy of notice and appreciation. Like the writer William Wordsworth (though I do not consider myself to be like him in most respects), I write to "refresh [man's] sense of wonder...in the everyday, the commonplace, the trivial." In other words, I am trying to help my readers appreciate the little things. I want to motivate people to find joy in their personal journey. I want others to be happy. That's why I share what I believe and why I'm so enthusiastic about it. I am happy, and I want to spread the joy I feel from merely existing in this world with everyone. The gospel of Jesus Christ makes me happy. Because of it, I know that families are eternal. I know death is not the end. We are here for a purpose and we can obtain even greater happiness if we do not waste this life. I know these things.

Many people today do not believe in God's existence. I feel responsible for showing these people that He does. This video is kind of cute:

There is still goodness in this world. This video shows it.

If you ever have a question about something I believe in, please don't hesitate to ask me. I am happy to have a discussion with you. I promise I won't belittle your opinion.

Thank you for reading my blog, too. It means that I'm accomplishing my goal in a small way.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy: So STOP IT, Moms

Listen ladies.

I don't really want this to end up being some long post but we'll see how it goes.

I just want to say (at the top of my lungs), STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS. Sigh.

If only it were as easy as flipping off a switch in yourself. But unfortunately it isn't. I'm sure it takes practice. I am not perfect at this. And maybe it's just in my personality or DNA not to care what others think about me, but I've been getting good at it. Hence all my controversial posts that my good friend Anonymous likes to comment on and scold me for in front of the universe (well, the universe of my readers, which is quite small).

But really, you want to know something that bothers me? (If you don't, exit out of this tab now because here it comes...) Moms that compare themselves. Women in general that compare themselves. And people wonder why I wished for mostly sons...girl drama is insane! And utterly pointless. It seems like the whole world of girls is about competition. And it is, in a word, ANNOYING. I feel like the older lady in She's The Man who finds the girls fighting in the bathroom and says, "LADIES! STOP! Please!" If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch the last 40 seconds of this clip.

But back to what I was saying--why oh why do so many moms waste time comparing themselves to other moms? I don't get it. Recently I've read so many blog posts about moms that feel embarrassed about their ragamuffin children when they see other perfectly groomed children out in public. They are annoyed or even angry at the moms that attempt the fun-looking Pinterest mommy projects. They think those moms always have perfect homes with perfect children. I'll tell you why this bothers me--because I want to be one of those moms. I LIKE cleaning and organization. I LIKE doing arts and crafts and making cute things for my husband and children. I WANT to be the best mom I can be and what's so wrong with that? My house isn't clean right now. If downloading photos on my computer didn't take so long, I'd show you the dishes in my sink, the clutter on our kitchen table and living room floor, the clothes on our bed, and the disaster area that is currently Tenley's room. But who cares about my efforts? What about your own! If you are trying in your own personal way to be the best mom you can be then you are succeeding! I hope I am not the first one to shout those words at you.

Here's what I want. To stop feeling guilt when I read about these "real" moms who have imperfect and chaotic lives. Maybe my life is that way, too. Maybe everyone's is. Maybe I don't brag about every time my daughter has a fit or a bad day. Maybe I focus on the good because to me, that's what matters. If I posted or blogged about all the crappy days I've had, or the times Tenley has freaked out, or the number of mistakes and messes I've made, I'd be angry and depressed all the time. As it is, I already get stressed when I think about the many things I need to do.

I need to pick up. 

I need to wash those dishes. 

But first I need to put away the dry ones. 

I need to make dinner (like RIGHT now)

I need to finish putting Dalin's shirts away. 

I need to work on my English classes. 

I need to finish a painting for a friend. 

I need to read my scriptures.

I need to stop going on Facebook and Pinterest and Yahoo and Gmail and whatever else I do to kill time. 

I need to feed Tenley. 

I need to shower. 

I need to figure out when Tenley's six month appointment is and whether I've scheduled it already or not. 

I need to be positive when my husband gets home and ask him about his day and let him know how much I love and missed him because I am his wife and I want to support him and uplift him. 

I don't think I need to go on.

Do you see what I'm saying though? Is it okay that some women (me included) feel the need/desire/whatever to brag about their accomplishments as a mom? Yes. Does it affect you? No. Does it matter that I tried (and failed miserably) to make homemade rice cereal for Tenley today? No. Does it matter that Tenley is asleep in our bed right now in nothing but a diaper? No. Does it matter that I don't know what I'm doing as a mother? No. It doesn't. I know I am trying my best. I don't care if you give your child fast food every single day. I wouldn't advise it, but it's not my choice. I don't care if you never do your child's hair. I don't have a sister. I never had anyone to practice doing hair on. So when Tenley gets hair long enough to style, I plan on trying it out. Maybe I will be horrible at it (I can't even french braid my own hair) or maybe she will look darling. But it doesn't help when there are other moms or women out there looking at my child and thinking to themselves, "Wow, what a showoff" or "I'm such a bad mom for not doing my own kid's hair." I'll say it again, it DOESN'T help. Do you really TRULY believe that that is a mom's intention? If it is, that is their own issue. But the beauty of it is it's none of your business.

Please. Stop comparing your mothering skills. Everyone is a learning to be a mom. Even on your fifth, sixth, or tenth child, you are still learning. No one is out to get you. Be happy for someone else. Compliment their efforts. Maybe they need the approval or encouragement. If you are one of the "comparerers" then ask yourself who is better off? You, who chooses to feel guilty when you see another woman's good deed or accomplishment? Or her, who is out there actually doing it? If I were guessing, I'd say her.

Be kind. Have compassion. Be understanding. Be positive about your own accomplishments. Most importantly, stop comparing. You'll be happier, I promise.

Now pardon me while I brag about making a delicious dinner at 9:54pm. Because that's what I'm about to do. And after, maybe I'll even put Tenley in pajamas (but probably not).

My Most Embarrassing Moment

It took a lot of work to think of this. I can't just recall this stuff off the top of my head when people ask, so I actually did research and looked up other people stories to remind me of my own. Doing so mainly made me realize that I haven't had that many embarrassing moments.

But, since I'm doing a series (30 things my kids should know about me), I had to come up with an answer.

When I was maybe fifteen, my best friend Sarah begged me to come to our friend from another town's house for a sleepover that weekend. There was a church dance the next day and we were all going to go together. I had eaten a salad with, what I was pretty certain was rancid ranch dressing for lunch, and was not feeling well the rest of the school day. I told Sarah that I didn't want to go multiple times but she insisted that I come with her or she didn't want to go as much. I told my mom that I would go even though I wasn't feeling up to it.

After school, we met up with our friend and her mom about halfway (they lived about an hour away from us) and Sarah and I got in their brand new car so we could head back to their home. On the ride to their house, I started to feel really sick. I knew I shouldn't have come, I thought. "Sarah, I'm going to throw up," I said. We were sitting in the back seat. The next thing I knew, I was throwing up my lunch and Sarah has holding out her hands to catch it. And she did. She caught my vomit, which was so disgusting in itself. I still remember what it looked like, but I'll spare you. We joked about it later saying that that act was the mark of a true friend--when she willingly catches your vomit in her hands. Anyway, someone quickly grabbed a plastic bag for me to throw up in if I still needed to. I don't remember the rest of the trip, but luckily I think we were close to the house. When we got there, Sarah and our friend helped me clean up the car. I felt so bad. It was a new car! And I still felt so sick. I think our friend's mom was pretty mad at me. Understandably. She was nice about it though. I was just wishing I hadn't let Sarah talk me into coming. I felt like our friend's mom never really liked me as much after that experience.

Anyhow, for the rest of the evening while Sarah hung out with our friend playing DDR and making cookies, I lay in bed upstairs, going between sleeping and using the bathroom frequently. It was really miserable and I just wanted my mom there to take care of me. Food poisoning sucks. When I woke up late at night and mostly recovered, I was famished. After taking a shower and getting something to eat, (and then a good night's rest) I felt much better and ended up being able to go to the dance. But I still feel embarrassed when I think about how I stunk up my friend's mom's new car with my throw up.

What was your most embarrassing moment? (Or one of them)
I really want to know!

5 Passions & A State Test

This post is for my series, 30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me.

Reading
Probably my favorite activity and how I spend most of my days. Also, the reason I want to become an editor. So I can read all day.
Writing
I write a lot. I write in my journal (I'm about to start my 30th any day now), I write on my blog (well, type), I write notes to Dalin, I write letters and thank-you cards, and just recently, Dalin and I each started Gratitude Journals for one another (I'll blog about that later). I love writing and would like to write a book someday--when I have the time (Haha! Like that will happen).
Painting
I have always been fairly blessed with a talent in art my whole life, mainly because artistic genes run in my family. I never used to think that being artistic was cool--in fact, I used to think it was a pretty useless talent. I enjoy doing art for fun, but I've always thought a career in art seemed ridiculous (much to my parents' dismay--they have always wanted me to become an artist or illustrator). Now that I'm a stay-at-home mom, I think it might be a fun way to make a little extra money. I'll share more on this in another post.

Just recently, my little brother made an art gallery of my work in his bedroom (my old room). I thought it was really sweet of him :)

Teaching
I love teaching. If I could have picked all the careers I want to do, teaching would definitely be among them. I loved teaching Primary for a year, and now I love having the opportunity to teach my daughter. Right now I am teaching Tenley to speak Spanish, American Sign-Language (neither of which I'm fluent in), to count, colors, shapes, the alphabet, body parts, to sit up, to stand, to listen, to talk, and to have as great a love for reading as I do. Teaching an infant involves a lot of repetition and the progress is slow, but I know that my efforts will be rewarded if I am patient and persistent as a good teacher ought to be.

Reading with my baby like we do every morning.

Laughing
I love to laugh! (Saying so always reminds me of the song in Mary Poppins with Bert and Uncle Albert). I probably laugh way too much. It used to get me in mild trouble at church and school. I just can't help it though! I laugh my way through life. People probably think I'm weird because I have such a broad sense of humor--I kind of laugh at everything. One of my favorite quotes is by Marjorie Pay Hinckley: "The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh." This quote is kind of my motto. That, and honoring the words, "Live, Laugh, Love." Because what things could make one happier? I count my successes as a mother  daily not by how much we did that day, but how much I made my little girl laugh. I really hope I can teach her to love laughter.

I just love these lyrics from Mary Poppins:

We love to laugh! (ha ha ha ha!)

Loud and long and clear

We love to laugh

So ev'rybody can hear!

The more you laugh!

The more you fill with glee

And the more the glee

The more we're a merrier we!

★   ★   ★

For fun, Dalin and I took this interesting (slightly controversial) state mood test, which, with ten simple questions, determines where you should live. 

Basically, Dalin took it first and got Tennessee. 

Then I took it and got South Carolina. 

Then...Dalin took it for me and got Georgia. 

And I took it for him and got Washington. Random. 

We thought it was funny that three of the states are tucked away into the southeast. I especially thought it was weird because I had been telling Dalin a few days before that we should look into schools in North Carolina because I just have a good feeling about that place (I've only driven through it on family trips to Florida so I don't know much about it other than that the weather is lovely) and all three states are touching North Carolina. Maybe it's just me, but I thought that was weird. Or a sign. Or something.

Anyway, the test was fun to take and so I thought I would provide the link so you can take it! But then you have to comment (pretty please!) and tell me where it said you should live! You can take it for your spouse, too, if you want!

TAKE THE STATE MOOD TEST HERE!

Let me know where it says you should live (and what you think about it) by leaving me a quick comment! 

Cleanliness = No More Excuses!

Nothing helps you get your house clean like having people over...so you can pretend it looks like that all the time instead of for five minutes. (This Pinterest e-card is so true.)

Anyway, as a result of this, I've gotten a surprising amount of things done in the last two days:

Our floor is vacuumed, the four trashes are emptied, the dishes are clean (I'm just waiting for them to dry so I can put them all away), the plants are watered, the laundry (and a LOT of it...) is washed, folded, and put away, my baby shower thank-you notes are written, the pantry is organized, the major surfaces are dusted, the couch blankets and pillows look nice, our bed is fairly well made (I sit on our bed a lot to feed Tenley and read and write in my journal though, so it's a little rumpled), the bathroom is decently clean, and most importantly, little Tenley is fed and taking a nap.

I'm feeling so relieved. I am not sure why feeling clean and organized makes me feel so comfortable and better able to relax but it does. The only problem I can think of is that I am out of excuses for why I can't work on my Independent Study class. Gulp. I hate it. Why did I select the English major again??? Oh yeah, because I love reading novels and Harry Potter and fiction. Not boring British literature from the 1500s...sigh...

Did you have second thoughts about your major from time to time??

20 Random Facts to Tell The Kids

Here are some things my children should know about me. Many of these things you can figure out on your own just from getting to know me, but I don't think I've written them down anywhere in my thirty journals and I should probably record it. For posterity. Some are serious, some are just for fun.

1. I am stubborn when it comes to my political and religious beliefs. I know what I know and I do not like to be told that I'm wrong. I will always defend my beliefs in these respective areas. It is an inherent and obstinate part of my personality.

2. I rarely exercise and I wear only a little makeup. I'm too lazy to exercise, truthfully, but I would do it if I thought it would improve my health. My body is surprisingly almost completely back to my pre-pregnancy body at 8 weeks [today] though (go breastfeeding!), and as long as I'm eating well, I do not see that it is entirely necessary. I won't deny that exercise does greatly improve my mood so perhaps that is reason enough to do it. As for makeup, as long as I have mascara and eyeliner, I don't care about anything else. I want to look like myself and I do not care for the caked on look. And neither does Dalin thankfully. I'm all for enhancing one's natural beauty.

3. I've made it my goal to not buy any clothes for myself or Dalin for a year (see here). So far it hasn't been that difficult (I literally haven't been to a clothing store since I set the goal which has helped) but I am sure sooner or later I will be tempted and my resolve to follow through will be tested. But I have a feeling I can do it and that I'll be better for it. It is one way that I'm making a sincere effort to be more grateful for all that I already have been given by a loving Father.

4. Sometimes--very often more recently--I just want to give up with school. It is very hard to have perspective when I don't see myself working necessarily and when the end feels so far off (though it really isn't). Plus, Independent Study stinks. But I know the end result will be worth it someday. "Eternal perspective," I tell myself repeatedly.

5. My primary love language is physical touch (9), followed by quality time (7), acts of service (6),  words of affirmation (5), and then receiving gifts (3). Find out your love language right here. (Okay, can I just add that Dalin's love language is the complete opposite of mine?? His is: words of affirmation (9), quality time (8), acts of service (8), receiving gifts (4), and physical touch (a freaking 1! Are you kidding me?!?!). But we're still married ;)

6. Being a mother is an incredible joy. It's better than I ever imagined it would be as a little girl who wanted a "Cheaper-By-The-Dozen"-sized family. I love holding my daughter as she snuggles into me. I love hearing her talk and coo at me. I love watching her smile in her sleep and her reactions to us smiling at her. I love the way she looks right into my eyes and gazes at me with so much love and wonder. I love seeing her with her daddy. I love that stage between wake and asleep and all her grunts and yawns and stretches. I love smelling her, touching her, nursing her, and feeling that she is all mine. I love that she makes me feel needed and wanted. I even love when she cries (I'm terrible--I usually start laughing because the things that babies cry about seem ridiculous to me) and when she scratches my chest with her sharp little claws. All the other moments make up for it. She makes me excited to meet my other children who aren't born yet.

7. I have an adventurous spirit. I frequently daydream about the future. I imagine our future home (and all the Pinterest projects I have lined up...) and sometimes I dream about what it would be like to get off the grid and be on our own for a while. I like the woods. I like my family. God is always with us. What more do I need, really? Then I remember that I love the rest of my family, too. And that I would miss them if we were just on our own. But still, it is fun to daydream.

8. I truly love my role as a Latter-day Saint woman. If you need convincing that the Mormon church properly honors and respects women, take a look at this right here. I think you will find that we are given a lot of credit for our divine role. I do not buy into modern society's view of what "true womanhood" is.

9. I feel like I am much smarter now than I have ever been at any other point in my life (especially thanks to the General Conference messages we just heard the last few days). Yeah, we all learn new things every day so this seems fairly obvious. But looking back through the years, there are a lot of things I wish I had known about life and about myself. I'm still naive about a lot of things, but some people call that "positivity" and it's a good quality. In some ways, I'm a realist (for example, I know the world is becoming increasingly evil), but I try to use the knowledge gained from that mindset to enhance my positive outlook. Being positive is a choice. It's hard, but it's worth it.

10. I'm happy (not just right now...like, I'm a happy person) because of my Latter-day Saint background to know that death is not the end. Because of our Savior Jesus Christ, I know we will live again. I am happy because I know (and believe with all my being) that families are forever. I'm happy because I know that Heavenly Father loves me. I am His child and so are you. Even if you don't believe it, too late. You can never change that you are a son or daughter of God.

11. I write in my journal every single day (and have since I was 13, hence the thirty-one journals I've filled) because I was asked to. The leaders of the Church encouraged me (and every other young person) to keep a journal. And so I do because I want to be obedient. Is it more for posterity or myself?--I couldn't say. Most likely it is for both of us. Do I feel like a moron when I read my old journals most of the time? Yes. Because I was silly. And I keep learning from the past. And I change every day.

12. I feel that I have good intuition. What does that mean, exactly? (See definition below) I have an innate sense about things in general. I think that I read people well. I can interpret and predict people's behavior, attitudes, and even how they are thinking based on their actions or body language. I get people--I understand how and why they think. On another note, I often feel like I know what is about to happen and then it does. I understand Tenley's needs. The last one is probably just mother's intuition, which is real, (and all mother's have it whether they heed it or not). How do I account for these intuent feelings? Probably very often it is the Spirit inspiring me. But I do believe that Heavenly Father gives us each certain unique gifts and talents and that my ability to discern people and my acute perception are a few of mine.

13. Sometimes (this kind of relates back to number 7) I wish that Dalin didn't have to work (in other words, that we were millionaires) and that we could live in a nice humble abode by the lake (with at least five bedrooms for us and our imaginary seven children) or the ocean, and that we could hang out and play together all the time without having to worry about finances ever. Money is dumb. And we can live off the land and provide for ourselves. And we can fly. (Just kidding about the last part though everything else is basically just as unrealistic).

14. I want my children to know that after Heavenly Father, I love their dad more than anything that has ever existed. And then them. And I hope that someday they will say the same thing about their Father in Heaven and their spouse.

15. What you see is what you get. I am far from perfect. I make mistakes every day though I try to improve myself. But I am real. I am down to earth. This is my first time being a mom. I never took a class or had a practice kid (though being the first child, Tenley is kind of in that position), I'm just figuring it out as I go along. I hope I don't stink as a mother, but if I mess up, remember that this is my first time and hopefully I'll get wiser as time goes on.

And a few more (not necessarily as important):
16. I want more babies. Lots of them. Everyone knows this about me. I love being a mom! Best kind of work ever.

17. I developed photos (because of Tenley) for the first time in years last week. So sad. Facebook and the internet have destroyed the need to develop pics. Probably when our kids are grown that won't be an option anymore. All picture frames will be digital. I hope not.

18. I am currently addicted to Cranberry-Lemonade (it took me a few glasses to get used to it) and to dark chocolate coconut almonds (thanks, Emily!). The best part about these two things? (and no they don't go together). Cranberries and almonds are good for you! Score. My kids probably won't care about this information, but I'll just throw in that I love juice and nuts in any form.

19. Someday, I want to get a dog. I think. (Sometimes I remember how much work they are and start to reconsider). If I were to get a dog, I'd want a dachshund (that's what my parents have and he is the best) or a beagle (or a mix of the two) because Snoopy is a beagle and I love Snoopy. So much. And all the Peanuts. But that's besides the point.

20. I love receiving flowers (of all kinds!) on any given day for any reason. Who doesn't? I have a bad habit though of saving them all...I dry them out then hang them places. I'm a little too sentimental when it comes to flowers I guess;)

Just being a mom. Love Tenley's sleep smile. 

Our family is forever. Period.

Did any of these surprise you? If so, which one(s)?
Is there anything that you think I need to add to this list?

Thoughts on Co-Sleeping WIth Baby

Our daughter Tenley is a great sleeper. Dalin and I have gotten into the unfortunate habit of going to bed between 11pm and midnight regularly (at least we've done away with those one or two in the morning nights), but so far it has worked great with Tenley. She nurses somewhere between those hours, then I place her in the bassinet in her room, which you enter through our room, and then I don't have to get up until she wakes me between four and (more recently) six in the morning. At that point, I go in and get our little munchkin (who has the saddest cry ever by the way), and then she joins us on our bed, right between us, and we (she and I) fall asleep while I feed her. Dalin gets up, depending on the day, at about six or seven in the morning, and it is around then that I usually feed Tenley again. Then she and I sleep in until nine or so. At that point, she usually needs to be changed asap or she pees our bed (it's happened like five times) or, worse, has a blowout (like yesterday). It's not a perfect routine, but it allows me plenty of rest. A few times, Tenley has even slept through the night (well, by my definition she has) sleeping six or seven hours straight.

The thing that is hard to understand is how a person so small can take up so much of our bed. I'm not kidding when I say I think she has more space than either Dalin or I do. I've woken up very close to the edge of our Queen sized bed and nearly slipped off. Dalin and I know the risks of co-sleeping (not that they apply to everyone--my brothers and I all co-slept with our parents and we're still breathing) and we think about it a lot because the idea of something happening to Tenley is scary. I'm not worried about myself so much as I am about Dalin accidentally rolling on her (which he worries about, too, though he's never come close) or a pillow covering her face and her not moving or crying to alert us. We are very careful about those things of course, but the trouble is not that we can't get her to sleep only in her bed, but that we miss her when she is in her own bed. Just last night, Dalin and I put her down in her bassinet in her room, then we visited her a few times to look at her, check on her, and give her kisses. Dalin said, "We need to get one of those co-sleeper things." And I said, "I know, I agree. It would be nice if she slept in her bed all night (if I took the time to put her back in there after I fed her) but I miss her when she isn't with us." And Dalin kind of laughed and said, "I know, me too."

It is hard for us to be away from our sweet girl. She is so snuggly and there is something about watching your own baby asleep that makes you feel so good inside. There is also the worry about her being alone, cold, and any other number of things. Example: the other day when I brought Tenley in her room to be changed, I saw a BIG GRAY SPIDER on the wall right next to her bed. I never thought of myself as super afraid of spiders, but saying so would be inaccurate now. Somehow the fear has worsened with age (despite all I know about spiders, they're just gross and I've heard too many horror stories) and this has prevented me from being the one to kill them. (I don't like killing any bug really though...the crunching sound they make when squished is what bothers me most.) I usually scream for Dalin who sighs and gets a tissue. But at this particular time, Dalin wasn't around and I did not want to take my eye off the nasty thing because there was NO WAY IN HECK that spider was going to live and possibly get into my daughter's bed and bite her in the night. So I manned up and got a tissue and, after mentally preparing myself for far too long, smashed the darn thing.

Anyhow, what was I saying? Describing that moment was almost like re-living it...anyway, the point is, that unknown things could happen to her while she isn't under our constant watch and that scares us! We still feel like we have freedom in our current routine so we are debating whether or not to change it, but ideally I would like to foster her sense of independence by having her regularly sleep from at least midnight to seven a.m. in her own bed.

Our routine, ideally, would be: I feed Tenley around 11pm, burp her, change her, and dress her in pjs. Then I read to her, sing to her, and snuggle with her before putting her in bed. Then she wouldn't wake up 'til morning for her next feeding and changing. So far, we do all these things, just not always in the same order. (Reading time is usually during the day.)

So my question for you is what do you think? What worked for your children? What is your opinion about co-sleeping?

The Firsts

We moved out of our first apartment in March 2013, shortly after our sister Shaina married our brother-in-law, Layton. Our address used to be 300 Wymount Terrace. It is now 268 Wymount Terrace (we didn't move that far). The apartment was on the third floor of 5C. It had four tiny rooms--three, if you count the living room and kitchen as one. We had a lot of firsts in that apartment, so even though we frequently complained about its size and other areas where it was lacking, it still holds a tiny portion of our hearts and our history.

The Firsts

It was our first home as a married couple.

It was the first place we established a habit of scripture study and family prayer.

It was the first place we had friends over to play board games and watch movies and eat desserts.

It was the place where we had our first sleepover, which entailed making a bed out of pillows and our comforter placed by the open front porch door because we had no A/C and our apartment was blistering hot our first night there.

It was where I first discovered life without a dishwasher or air conditioning.

It was where I first learned that Dalin hates doing laundry.

It was where I first learned to cook well okay. For real.

It was where we first mapped out our future together and shared our deepest secrets.

It was where I returned to alone, sobbing, after flying home from Arizona on our first Thanksgiving together because I had to work at Dillard's on Black Friday.

It was the place where we had our first Christmas with just the two of us.

It was where I decorated its tiny rooms for every season and holiday for the first time.

It was the place where we lived when we started leasing our first new car.

It was the first place we returned to late at night after long drives to Boise to visit Dalin's family for weekend trips and holidays. 

It was the first place we came home to after much-too-short summer visits to New Hampshire.

It was the place where I began the first job I've ever truly enjoyed.

It was where I first received my Associate's degree from BYU-Idaho.

It was where I first got called as Primary President and where Dalin got called as Sunday School President.

It was where we first began our family.

It was the place where we first discovered I was pregnant with our darling Tenley.

It was where I did my first ever semester at BYU.

It was where we bought our first TV.

It was where we had our first ever couch from Uncle Cash and Aunt Marisa.

It was where we had our first antique kitchen table and where I painted our first kitchen chairs mustard, aqua, and mint green.

It was where I first started to detest Dalin's noisy and filthy old rocking chair that he adores so much.

It was where I first started to feel like that rocking chair was an old friend, noisy or not.

It was where Dalin broke our first camera when he accidentally pushed it behind the stairs of our stairwell while we were taking pictures.

It was where we first learned about how hard marriage can be.

It was where we first learned how wonderful and amazing and sacred marriage can be.

It was where we first learned of each other's faults.

It was where we first learned to forgive each other.

It was where we had our first fight. 

It was where we cared for each other when the other was ill for the first time.

It was where we celebrated the first year of our eternal marriage.

First TV...lovely

One of my first decent meals

There are a lot of others and I could go on, but I'll let you imagine the rest.

Even though we (especially me I'm sorry to admit) complained about that old apartment (and still complain about the one we're in now because the only difference is a spare bedroom and that we're now on the second floor), it holds a lot of memories for us and I know that one day, looking back we'll miss that tiny place and cherish the firsts we had together there. 

The Random Act of Kindness

I may need to revise my highlight of the day even though I still love that Dalin got to stay home today and that we got to spend the day Tenley. This new highlight was more of a random act of kindness that made my whole week. It's good to know there are still kind people out there. So anyway, I was at the checkout at Walmart, waiting to pay with Tenley in my front carrier pouch, when a former resident of King Henry apartments where I last worked saw me and came over to say hi and congrats on the new baby. We were just talking when, before I knew what was happening, he had pulled out his card, reached past me, and swiped it at the register, paying for almost $70 of stuff. Feeling shocked, embarrassed, and gratified at the same time, I thanked him profusely then he proceeded to help me get the items into my cart and out to my car where he loaded my trunk for me while I buckled Tenley in. I thanked him again and he told me no sweat and took my cart away.

That is an outstanding young man, I thought when I got in the driver's seat before I started my car. I wish I could do something to repay him for his kindness...Well, if you are single and looking for a great guy (I think he goes to UVU and lives near King Henry), I'll give you his name so you can track him down. ;) Anyway, his deed caught me off guard--so much so that I almost cried before I left the Walmart parking lot. I was really touched. I had hardly ever interacted with him at King Henry, I just recognized his face and knew his name. Immediately I wanted to "pay it forward" by doing something for someone else. I got my chance pretty quick. There was a homeless man sitting by the Walmart exit. I never know if the homeless people that gather there are legit or not, but every once in a while, I give something if I have it in case they are. I still had my $15 Walmart gift card in my hand because I hadn't had to use it, so when I reached the man, I rolled down my window and waved him over to me. "There's fifteen dollars on there," I told him. He thanked me sounding very sincere and I drove off hoping I really was helping someone.

I tell this story not to brag about my tiny act of kindness (which was mainly initiated only because of someone else's) but to make a quick point: It is always much easier to do a random act for someone when you've been on the receiving end of one yourself. I re-learned an important lesson today. I had forgotten about my resolve to live the Scout motto "Do a good turn daily." That young man helped me get back on track and I'm going to do my best to keep that motto in my heart, starting today.

What random acts of kindness have you given to others? 
What is one that you've received that meant a lot to you?

Fall Assignments

I've always loved fall, but my love for the season grew significantly the first fall after I graduated high school when I worked at a local farm stand called Beans & Greens in Gilford, New Hampshire. I will admit I did not love that job while I was there (it was a lot of hard work) but looking back, it was a really fun job to have for a season. The store was a giant old barn on lots of land where we sold fresh procured honey, jams, milk (the chocolate milk was so freaking fresh and good!), baked goods, green beans, tomatoes, corn, apples, fresh berries, and a zillion other vegetables.

While working there I got to help decorate for Halloween, paint pumpkins to be sold in store (I painted things like Snoopy and Woodstock, funny faces, a haunted house, etc.), paint children's faces (and make some sweet tips I might add), organize a children's pumpkin maze, have a jack-o-lantern carving contest, give tours to elementary school children and lead them through a hay maze, decorate with fall flowers (zinnias, chrysanthemums, and others), tie my own pumpkin-hangers with hemp, work the haunted corn maze at night, and many other things. I also acquired a love for country music while working there...that probably had something to do with the same country soundtrack being played on repeat for the entire season. So basically while working there I participated in, what I would label, the epitome of fun fall activities, so I feel like I really know what a fun autumn season can be like.

Fall in New England is locked in a three-way tie with summer and spring for my favorite time of year for (what I feel are) obvious reasons. One less obvious reason maybe is that I think the fall is romantic. Maybe it's just me, but being with your sweetheart in the cool and colorful fall-time has something about it that just makes me feel capricious and adventurous and even more in love with my husband. I think for me it's the fresh start of new school year (even when I'm taking a break this semester) and feeling like Dalin is my hot boyfriend that I get to spend my afternoons with after work and classes. It's even better now (if possible) having a sweet daughter that we get to share our new experiences and adventures with!

Anyway, since fall is mostly about school starting, here are some assignments I've made for myself so that I can get an A+ in fall.

1. Bake an apple pie. Bonus: Do it with apples we picked ourselves. My absolute favorite type of apples apparently don't exist out here in Utah (as I've tried every freaking type at the store,) but two falls ago I had my mom send me a dozen or so of them--fresh-picked at an orchard in New Hampshire--and I plan on begging her to do the same thing this fall. So maybe I'll use those for my pie.

2. Eat a candy apple. This might be a little harder than it seems. I can never find places that sell candy apples, which I much prefer over caramel apples (call me crazy, but I am not a big caramel fan unless it is very fresh). I might just have to make one myself.

3. Find some fresh apple cider and also some hot apple cider. Two of my favorite things in the fall. Sold all over the place in New Hampshire, but there has to be some sold out here somewhere and I will find it.

4. Do something not involving apples...just kidding haha, I just noticed the last three were all about that and thought I should change it up.

4. Watch some corny Halloween movies. I love Halloween. I know it's kind of a creepy, pointless holiday, but I love the things that come with it (aka trick-or-treating, Halloween parties, pumpkin carving, etc.).

5. Go to a Halloween party. Check. We're going to one in Boise in October. Maybe I should revise this to say "Win a prize from the costume contest." We did two years ago and it really got us motivated to make that a regular thing. Our dear sister Cassie and her husband Shay stole the prize from us last year, but never again ;).

6. Decorate for Halloween and then for Thanksgiving. I have decorations (many are crafts from years past) stored away and normally I'm good at getting them out because I get bored when our apartment looks the same month after month, but when I was pregnant that was not a priority (with the exception of Christmas and Easter).

7. Find a place to serve people on Thanksgiving. This is a tradition in my family that I haven't participated in the last two years because I haven't been with my family, but I always loved going to the community center and serving Thanksgiving lunch to the elderly. It made me feel happy inside and extra grateful for my family and health. It also made Thanksgiving dinner later taste even better ;)

8. Own at Fantasy Football. Do I care about football? No. Do I even watch the games? Not really. But I am competitive and I want to beat my sister, Shaina and her husband, Layton in particular. Not sure why I chose to target them, but they both like football and I think it would be satisfying to beat them ;)

9. Go through a corn maze or on a hay ride. I don't know where they have those out here, but there has to be one or the other somewhere and I really want to go. Even if it means Dalin and I have to drive outside our Provo/Orem bubble.

10. See more of our family! I want to visit with Dalin's family as much as possible this fall and I want to try to get my family to come visit me at some point before or around the holidays. I miss them too much otherwise. A year is way too long to go without seeing my dad, mom, or brothers.

11. Roast pumpkin seeds. Love this tradition. Maybe I'll try a new recipe this year. I could try to make them taste like kettle corn or something!

12. Go to the Farmer's Market as much as possible. It's on Thursdays and not only do they sell the best kettle corn (mentioned above) but the produce is fresh and delicious. And I like supporting farmers.

13. Make more blackberry smoothies. This means I need to see more of my brother-in-law, Layton because he makes AMAZING ones. With fresh blackberries. So does his mom. I'm seriously obsessed with them and crave them daily.

14. Make squash. Real squash. My mom tells me it's easy to do year after year, but year after year I fail to make it because I get nervous it won't come out right. But this year, I'm doing it.

15. Read and watch Harry Potter. Definitely a fall activity. And it makes me feel happy and like a teenager again.

16. Drink Butterbeer. I've never had it, but anything Harry Potter is fallish to me, and maybe I can find a recipe if I can't find a place that makes it. Someday Dalin, Tenley, and I will go to Universal Studios and have some in Harry Potter World.

17. Visit Provo Canyon. I want to be outside and take a hike or have a picnic. I just want to smell the fall air and teach my daughter to love nature. Hopefully we will get to see something of the leaves changing color (maybe we'll take another drive through Nebo Loop) and I can pretend I'm home in New England ;)

18. Paint pumpkins. Carving is fun, but it makes such a huge mess once the pumpkin gets old and leaks all over the place.

19. Make fried dough or scones. Warm bread dough and cookie dough are always so comforting. Maybe I'll even make some Mexican buñuelos for Halloween, too.

20. Take lots of photos. I pretty much do this anyway, but now I need to record it for Tenley's sake. So she can look back and see how much we loved her and all the fun things we did as a family.

Do you have other fun fall ideas? 
What are your absolute favorite three things to do in the fall? I want to make this the best fall of our life thus far so don't hesitate to share something you've loved from falls past!