Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 3

Birth of Baby Tayah

Tayah Louise Gunnell was born at 6:36pm on February 1, 2017. She was my tiniest baby at 7lbs 8oz and 20". And in true, third baby form, she didn't get a birth post until nearly a year later. 
But hey, I've been pretty crazy busy with three kids four and under. 

I want to re-cap some of this past year with three kids, but first I want to record the day of Tayah's birth using memories I wrote down on Instagram and in my journals.

As with the two kids before, I opted to be induced with Tayah. At the time, we did not know her sex. We had chosen to keep the sex a surprise, mostly because we already had a boy and girl and clothing for each. Like Declan, I was induced at 39 weeks. Declan was my largest at 8lbs 6oz at 39 weeks so I thought it would be best to be prepared for another large baby. Lo and behold, she was little and sweet.

I went in to the hospital and started on pitocin around 8am. The nurse put my I/V in and we began to wait. Dalin took the kids to his sister Cassie's house for the day. I tried to watch TV, tried to rest, and tried to calm my nerves which I had not expected to be so high with my third baby. I guess the fear stemmed from my lack of faith that everything would be alright as it was with my first two. I felt like something was much more likely to go wrong this time since I'd had two healthy births beforehand. I texted friends and family with updates to keep myself distracted.

I got an epidural in the afternoon before Dr. Pace (the same doctor who delivered my first two) came to break my water. I was surprised to find that the epidural was virtually pain-free this time around. I could not believe it. I kept waiting for the sting and heat to come but it never did. And then the anesthesiologist announced he was done. I was elated.

Dr. Pace came and broke my water. Things finally started to progress in the next couple of hours. Like with Tenley, I could feel the pressure of the contractions when they started to come though not nearly as bad as they'd been with hers. But I jumped from being dilated at a 7 to a 10 in a matter of minutes. Thankfully I had texted my photographer friend Emily, and my friend Sarah in time. It was about 6 o'clock when I began pushing. Sarah came in just in time and helped with moral support.

As with the other two births, Dalin did not last long by my side. He tried, but due to his increasing pallor, was encouraged by the hospital staff to lay down. He gets really anxious seeing me in that position. I pushed as hard as I could with every contraction. Around 6:30pm, I was feeling incredibly discouraged. Why was this so hard??? I'd already had two babies. And Declan had crowned in about fifteen minutes of pushing. Dr. Pace sensed my frustration and informed me that this length of time was normal.

Suddenly, the baby crowned. With one more push, she slipped out. "What is it??" I gasped. "It's a girl!" chimed the nurses as Dr. Pace flipped her over to check. Then she was placed on my chest and I was sobbing. I couldn't believe it. We'd been right all along. The four of us had all predicted she was a girl. And I was so joyous to meet my little Tayah.


I LOVE birth days. And the surprise made it even more special. If our next baby is a boy and we have a fifth, we'll do a surprise again for sure for another tie breaker.

I am so thankful for the ability to bare children in this life and mother these perfect beings.

Sunday, February 23

On Being Super Woman

After my last post, someone asked me how I have time to blog almost every day with a 6 month old. She (I am assuming it was a she) also asked if I was super woman. I actually thought that that was a really nice comment. But no, I am definitely not super woman, though that would be awesome and I'm sure I would get a lot more done if I was. I am responding with a full post because I was thinking a lot about how to respond to this question and there were too many things I wanted to say.

First off, I guess blogging is a small part of my priorities. I don't really think of it as particularly important, but it is something that I do enjoy and that I hope has helped some people a time or two. But I guess to answer your question in the most plain way, I have time to do it because I make time. I love to write and I think about blogging fairly often throughout my day. Now that I have a smart phone finally (I just got it a month ago as a gift from family--prior to then I had a Motorola Razr haha), taking photos is a lot easier. So when I am going about my day, thinking of ideas for posts, I usually choose to write things that align with my life at the time. Like when I wrote about my favorite cleaning product the other day, that was because I decided to do a fairly deep clean of the kitchen and our bedroom that day and I thought, why not? I had my camera handy and took a few photos during and after. I also plan out my posts a lot during the day. Like I was imagining what I would say for the post as I was cleaning the kitchen. Then, all I needed was for the baby to go down for a nap or play with daddy so I could take half an hour to upload photos and get down the many things I had been thinking about. I admit I am not a good revisionist whatsoever which is ironic because my intentions were are to become an editor. Probably if I were getting paid to blog, I would put in a little more effort, but for now, it's just a thing I like to do that helps motivate me to be better.

What do I mean by that? Well think about it. If I just didn't care about improving myself, I would probably be blogging about watching Netflix all day (which sometimes I do anyway...) because I would not care about accomplishing anything. Fortunately, I do care about becoming my best self and so I try to be that person every day. I fail a lot. Too many times. But blogging about my life has helped to motivate me a little more. I don't want to write about boring things, I want to focus on the joys in my life and on my love of being a wife and mother. So I guess in a sense, my life is fun and pleasantly busy because I make it that way. I want to blog about my accomplishments, so I accomplish things to blog about. Does that make sense?

You mentioned that you have a young infant and that he or she keeps you occupied. While Tenley is considered easy as far as babies go, she still cries and whines and wants to be with me almost all the time. I absolutely adore her and spend so much of my day on her that it does seem quite surprising that I ever have time for anything else. And while she is my world, the reason I have time to do other things (just like blogging) is because I make time.

My priorities in regards to my daughter each day are to make sure she eats enough, sleeps enough, gets read to, and that she has a lot of playtime. Playing is basically a baby's job and is the best way for a child to learn so I make independent time a priority. It is not always easy. Sometimes I put her in her little Bumbo chair or in her jumper/bouncer thing and she just fusses the whole time. But I let her fuss and get as many things done possible as I can before it escalates. Some days, I have to nurse her to sleep on our bed and then sneak away before she wakes up. But I do this and let her cry sometimes (though it always is hard) because I am trying to teach her to be independent. Sometimes, she is just making it impossible to accomplish anything, and then I strap on our baby carrier and take her with me. I've done dishes, laundry, all kinds of household tasks while wearing her. I have to pretend I'm working out because she gets heavy in that thing after a while. But basically, I make do every day and adapt to the situation.

I realize those things may not be possible for your child because all babies are so different. One thing that motivates me is fiercely believing in my job as a mother. It really is hard work and I treat motherhood the way I would any other job (only I think I work even harder because it's a job that's truly important to me). I want to be the best mom. I doubt my children will always think that of me, but it is a personal goal for me to work toward achieving. I have always wanted a big family...somewhere around seven kids would be awesome (though I'll admit my husband is hoping I'll compromise) and that being the case, I have a mentality that one kid is a piece of cake, even though sometimes it isn't. I have to have that mentality if I could ever hope to fulfill my goal of becoming a mother of seven. I have to tell myself that I can do it or I don't think I would have sufficient motivation.

I actually believe that this mode of thinking is the primary reason that I had such a good birth experience. Everyone has always told me I would change my mind about having seven children after giving birth to my first. Because of that, I have kind of always been determined to prove those people wrong. Everyone treated my thirteen hours of labor (four of which were pushing) like I had done something insane or impossible. But to me, I was just doing what had to be done to get a baby out of me. Also, I know that having seven kids can't always be that easy, and so I remind myself that I haven't seen anything yet. I am confident that God does and will continue to help me if I rely on Him.

I firmly believe that our minds can be tools to help us become our best selves but you have to have the right attitude. That sounds super cheesy but I've realized this in my own life over and over as I have grown up and I know it is true. Tell yourself you can do it all. You can do hard things. And you will.

I am so far from being Super Woman that it's sad. But I like the person I am becoming. Try setting goals each day of things you hope to accomplish. If you even get one thing done, you are a success. That is what gets me through my days and I have high hopes that it will help you, too.

Dear friend, I hope this gave you some insight into my life. Thank you for your kind comment and know that it really made me think a lot. Thanks for that.

Best,

Saturday, December 21

Tenley's 4 Month Updates

Thanks for the encouragement I received yesterday! No, I didn't complete everything for that class in the last 24 hours, but I did manage to complete two full lessons which was a small miracle. I'm hoping to finish the last three lessons tomorrow and perhaps begin my essay on Sunday. Monday I intend to call BYU and ask about taking the final on the 3rd when Dalin and I get back from Christmas break! So that's progress, right??

Anyhow, I just love Tenley. How I got such a happy, chill, pretty baby is beyond me. I'm pretty sure she takes after her daddy, especially in personality. She's so calm and I just am SO grateful for her joyful spirit! Updates on her life:

  • She is four months old as of the 12th! (I've lost track of how many weeks) Man, time has flown by. Whenever I look at her, I am still just amazed that: A) she came out of me, B) she's mine, and C) that she is getting rapidly closer to being half a year old! What the heck! Wasn't she just a newborn a week ago??
  • She is just so perfectly happy almost all the time. She has her moments, but what girls don't? 
  • We got Tenley's 4 month immunizations done today and she literally fussed for maybe five seconds. The two nurses were like, "Woah, she did really well!" I, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck until they were over. Mothers. Now she has three little bandaids on her thighs which I am not looking forward to removing. Although come to think of it, she didn't even notice when I peeled them off last time. And she was asleep. 
  • She can get off her bouncer if I don't strap her in and if I let her cry for a few minutes. She just twists her tiny body until she's almost all the way on the floor. She's done it like three times, so I've finally decided I'd better strap her in from now on. 
  • We went to a luncheon for a boy from Dalin's work today and sat with a few of his co-workers. While there, I nursed Tenley at the table under my cover and a co-worker's wife said, "Are you nursing her with no hands right now?" I looked down to see what she meant. I had a butter knife in one hand and a roll in the other. "I guess I am," I said. She was really impressed, which was funny but I just told her that I am always trying to get things done while feeding her and that that was pretty normal. She thought that was cool. I never really thought about it, but Tenley is a trooper. I was just balancing her on my crossed legs. Yet she never acted like she was uncomfortable. 
  • She's back to going to bed easily. Last week we had a rough patch, but I'm pretty sure it was because I let her try mashed banana when she turned four months old. Since then, I've only given her graham cracker crumbs on two separate occasions, and a tiny, tiny bit of white rice from my dinner last night. She has been handling solids really well. If they weren't so messy (and didn't make changing diapers even less fun) then I'd probably give them to her more regularly. But probably for the next couple of months I'll just continue to give her samples. 
  • She thinks I'm hilarious. I love that. It makes me feel so good. Especially when it's only the two of us, she just laughs and smiles at everything I say to her. She loves my silly faces and it is the best thing in the world when I look at her and see that she's been smiling at me even without my noticing. Gahh! Motherhood is so awesome!!!!!
  • She adores her dad. When she's mad at her mama, daddy can always calm her down. The two of them just love napping and rocking together. And it cracks me up every time I look over at the two of them rocking and Tenley is just staring at Dalin's laptop screen with one eyebrow raised as if she's processing what she's seeing. They have such a sweet relationship. I'm so glad she knows and loves her dad!
  • She loves showering. I haven't given her a bath since she was probably one month old because I've found showering to be so much easier. We both appreciate the skin to skin contact and Tenley always has a big smile on her face when I lift her above my head into the stream of water. I've been teaching her that counting to three means we're putting our faces in the water. I say, "Okay Tenley, one, two, THREE!" and duck her under. She has never had a problem with it! I'm hoping that helps when we start swim lessons.
  • She definitely loves reading. I can tell because she'll be fussing and I'll get a book and she'll look right at it and listen while I read. She looks at the things I point out on the pages, especially in our Spanish First Words book. I am still not speaking as regularly as I'd like, but I definitely throw Spanglish sentences together on a regular basis so at least she'll have some exposure. 
  • I sign the alphabet to her (ASL) every time we say it--English or Spanish. She watches my hands so I'm hoping it's making an impact. I also sign "more," "hungry," and "I love you" (especially the latter) to her all the time. I'm almost certain she understands the sign for "I love you" because I've started to sign it without saying it occasionally and she gives me the biggest smile when she sees it. I also put her tiny fingers in the position for it so she can get a feel for it and once I saw her little hand signing "I love you" as she waved! I'm sure it was a fluke, but I freaked out because it was just so awesome, even if it was only a mistake. Soon enough she'll be able to do it for real. 
That's all I can think of for now. But she's doing really well and I just love her so much. I'm filled with joy when I look at her. Having her around me all the time is like having a snuggly little best friend I can hold and kiss and cuddle and talk to always. She makes us so crazy happy! If I had known how great she would be, I would have wanted to have her sooner!

Here are some photos of her for your enjoyment: 
One of those rare bad days, I mentioned
And happy again.

We love our sweet fourth-month old girl and are so glad she's ours forever! 

Friday, December 13

Dating With a Baby

First off, it's possible. Not always easy or as perfect as you might have hoped, but possible.

Getting a babysitter is always an option and a perfectly good one. But not everyone can afford one or has a community of babysitters at their fingertips (like you kind of do while living at Wymount). And, if you're like me, you might have a hard time leaving your child with someone who isn't family or at least close to you.

So that leads you to find other options.

Dalin and I were blessed with a super easy baby. None of the babies I ever watched as a youth were as easy as my own baby, though it's safe to assume they behaved better for their moms. But anyway, so far we've been really fortunate. Whenever I tell people that Tenley's easy, we always feel the need to mention that it probably means we have some hard teenage years in store for us, or that our next child (or one down the line) is going to be a bigger challenge. Hopefully not. But it seems like whenever we make plans to go out, Tenley has a "bad" day. Either she's more fussy or needy than normal, or maybe she just wants us to keep our attention focused solely on her. Whatever the case, it's frustrating, but somehow we still manage to make time for us!

It all comes down to strategic planning. With Dalin's work and class schedule, we usually know when we have spare time. Usually it means during the daytime during the week or Friday nights. We also know that the weekends are the busiest times at public places, particularly in a college town. So for us, the best thing is to plan activities on our free weekdays.

We go out to eat for dinner on days that Dalin works in the morning, and see movies in the daytime when Dalin has the day off, or his schedule permits it.

I was almost reluctant to share this secret because I'm scared that suddenly everyone will head to the movies now, but we have found that matinee showings of a movie, right around 1pm, usually are dead. Maybe it depends on the theater or time of year, but this has worked for us.

A few weeks after Thor came out, we decided to go see it at the Riverwoods Theater on a Tuesday around 1pm. We planned out everything, feeding Tenley just beforehand and bringing her carseat in with us in case she stayed asleep. We did not want to bother other viewers and had agreed that I would take Tenley out right away if she began to fuss. We were only about five minutes early and when we entered the theater we were completely alone. Just the three of us. We sat in the front section on the walkway in case Tenley needed to be taken out. We started to get excited, thinking we were going to be all alone in the theater. We would have been, if two couples hadn't come in halfway during the previews. But they sat away from us and it worked out perfectly. Because it was dark and no one was around, I was able to nurse Tenley right when she started to fuss without more than a jacket for cover. When she wasn't nursing, she was watching the movie or bouncing on my lap. Toward the end of the film, I went out to change her but, because the theater was basically dead, I just crouched outside the doors where I had light and changed her on a little mat on the floor so I could hurry back to the movie. (I feel like I'm always changing her in weird places, but it always works out and I've never gotten caught ;)

We were so amazed at how well she behaved and were happy when we recognized that we could still have some freedom and fun as a couple and include our baby girl!

Maybe we just got lucky, but if so, we were even more fortunate the second time we tried this. Catching Fire came out in the U.S. on November 22nd and we were both anxious to see it. Knowing that it was sure to be popular, we waited a few weeks before giving it a try. This past Wednesday, December 11th, (less than 20 days after it came out) we decided to give it a shot at the 1:30pm showing at the Riverwoods theater. This time again, it was amazingly dead. And this time, we were even more fortunate to be the only ones in the theater for the whole movie! No one else came in, so we decided to sit where we wanted and did not have to worry if she began to fuss (which she did a few times). Plus, I could nurse her without worry and, if I really had wanted to, I could have walked her up and down the hall.

So it is possible! And you have a nice dark theater in which you can discreetly feed your baby! I imagine having a bottle-fed baby would be even easier if you made one up right before going in for the movie.

Anyhow, I just wanted to show you that you CAN still have a life with a baby. Sometimes it's harder and you have to make sacrifices or do a little extra planning, but you can do it! And if all else fails, find a babysitter!

Do you go out with your spouse AND children?
What have you found works?
Would you ever try going to the movies with your baby like we have? If no, why not?

P.S. I'll add photos later. Gotta go grocery shopping!

Monday, December 9

Play Dates

Tenley and I both had a play date today! Mine was with my friend, Rachel. Tenley's was with Rachel's son, Henry. We had grilled cheese and tomato soup and salad. It was delicious. But as always, the best part of the play date was getting to sit with another mom and just talk about our lives. Talking is seriously the best therapy. Anyway, we had a lot of fun as you can see from the photos below. Fun fact, Tenley and Henry are exactly two months apart (on the day). Both of their dads are also two months apart!
It's just an awesome coincidence that they're matching :)
Comparing feet
So funny!
Big difference in the size of their hands!

Cuties

Henry was much more interested in Tenley than she was in him
Tenley's expression...
Precious, much? Whoever gave her this outfit, it's the cutest! Thank you!
I hope everyone had a great Monday!
What did you do today? 

Tuesday, November 19

Dear Pregnant Ladies: Sharing 15 Facts

For all you pregnant ladies out there, here are some things for you to know about giving birth and post-partum info. I'm certainly no expert, but I read enough stuff to know what information is actually useful. You've all read about the sleepless nights and intensity of labor. But I want to share a more positive (but still realistic) perspective. I go into great detail in some areas, so this is more of a "women only" post. Unless your wife has already given birth, in which case, you'll probably understand.

1. First off, it's wonderful and possibly the best moment of your life. I loved giving birth, as you can read about right here, and would do it again in a heartbeat. It's so totally and completely worth it, no matter what you go through to get there. That first time you hold your little baby after he or she's out, you'll understand. Apart from my wedding day, I didn't know if I'd ever been happier. And it was a close call. So just know that what you go through is worth it. And if you're positive about it like I was, you might even love it.

2. You might just pee, poop, or throw up while giving birth. It stinks, but it can happen. But the good news is, it might not! None of those things happened to me. And like anyone, I had been fearing it tremendously. Throwing up usually happens because the epidural can make you feel pretty nauseous (not enough to scare me away from getting it again though!) but my nausea wasn't any worse than the morning sickness I'd experienced during my first trimester. As you'll hear a thousand times over, if any of these things should happen to you, don't worry--doctors have seen it all, and more good news: you might not even know if you do. I had to ask after because I had no idea what was happening down there, (and honestly, it sure felt like something happened) but apparently nothing did. And even more good news: I can almost 100% guarantee you won't give a crap if it does happen. You might, like me, even want it to happen (weird, I know). During my labor, the pressure on my rectum (sorry, gross word) was so intense that I felt like I was experiencing the worst constipation in my entire life and at the time, I just wanted to feel relieved from that pressure. You just get to the point where you accept that whatever is going to happen is going to happen, and nothing matters but getting that baby out! So, basically, Hakuna Matata, right? No worries.

3. While in labor and for a while after giving birth, you might shake. Like a lot. I kind of looked like I was freezing to death. Or having a mini-seizure. But I felt fine--I just could not control my arms, hands, or my jaw! My teeth chattering was the most annoying thing because it affected my speaking. Everyone kept asking if I was cold, but I wasn't--I just couldn't stop. I think I heard someone call these "labor shakes" (makes sense) and other than being really annoying, they aren't a big deal. I believe they are caused by adrenaline and are really nothing to worry about. Just anticipate it because a lot of women get them.

4. At first, while pushing, you will probably feel like you CAN'T DO IT. That is how my mom felt, that is how I felt, and I'm positive that is how countless other women felt when they began pushing. It seems impossible. It is impossible. It makes no sense to me that an 8lb 3oz baby came out of such a small place. Even now, three months later, I occasionally find myself wondering how our baby came out of me. You'll find yourself, as I have, holding your son or daughter on your belly and wondering how he or she possibly could have fit inside you. It makes no logical sense, but somehow it's possible. It's a miracle. An infinite number of women have had and will continue to have babies. You can do it. When the doctor got a mirror while I was pushing and I saw how little of my daughter's head was visible when I was pushing at my very hardest, I thought, She is never coming out. I might have even said it aloud. After four hours, my doctor thought I might have to go with a C-section, she was so stuck. I didn't give up, and with the help of forceps, she finally came out--very cone-headed, but perfectly fine. When you are in that moment of despair, keep the thought in the back of your head that you can do it. You have to. That baby can't stay in there forever even though it seems like it. And if you end up having a C-section, don't worry and DON'T feel bad. Don't let anyone make you feel like your birth experience was less special or less right because you did it differently. That's what my doctor had to tell me when I was feeling frustrated that I wasn't going to have the natural, epidural-free birth I wanted. But you know what? Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing. Except maybe I'd have asked that we could try the forceps sooner than four hours...

5. Your baby will look like an alien when he or she comes out. So don't be freaked out. Some babies are gray, some are purple, some are pink, some are covered in blood, and ALL are soaking wet and not as sweet as you might have pictured. Tenley had the hugest cone-head from being in the birth canal for four hours. I didn't have time to process it at the time though because they immediately set her down to be measured, washed up, and swaddled. Then, when they did hand her to me, they had put a hat on her head which covered up the worst of it. When I saw her cone-head uncovered later that night, I'll admit I was a tad worried for her, but it went down significantly by the next day and even more so in the days that followed. At three months, Tenley's head looked completely normal to me. You, like me, might not think that most just-born babies are that pretty to look at, but I am certain that nothing will look more beautiful to you than your own baby. Only a mother's love, I tell you.

6. For a while, you will be VERY swollen down there. It is not pretty. In fact, it's really ugly. My swelling lasted maybe four days, which I think is longer than normal, but I also pushed REALLY HARD for four hours. And that isn't normal at all (my doctor told me he's never had anyone push as long as I did) so don't worry. But I'll tell you, the first time I went to the bathroom after giving birth--with the assistance of my nurses because I couldn't walk by myself--I looked down and was like WOAH. I seriously did not recognize myself. But the nurses assured me that swelling was normal, though mine was worse than most. I don't want to go into detail, but basically I was kind of really grossed out about how things looked for a few days. Luckily, I was encouraged to take lots of hot baths while at the hospital (and at home) which really helps. It also feels amazing. I took four or five baths at the hospital and was encouraged to take more while there but I just wanted to be with my husband and baby.

7. Going to the bathroom is different for a while. This I had not known at all! It makes sense, but my mind was in other places when I thought about birth. My experience will surely be unique from your own, but hopefully this will help prepare you. After the epidural wore off, the nurses removed the catheter (which is kind of cool but really weird--in case you don't know, it catches your pee and is like a little straw that they insert you-know-where, then they inflate a tiny bubble when it's in you so it stays there. I could feel when it was in--it didn't really hurt, but it was obvious that something was there. I could also feel it catching my pee. That sounds weird, but I couldn't control it, and it just kind of constantly flowed into a little bag until they removed it) and then escorted me to the bathroom. Note: I could hardly walk, A) because the epidural hadn't worn off 100%, B) I was exhausted, and C) I must have twisted my leg while pushing because one of the joints of my leg was hurting and it was really hard to walk on it, so the nurses basically dragged/carried/completely supported me while I walked limped like a zombie/bowlegged cowboy toward the bathroom. I kept apologizing to them, mostly because I felt bad and was embarrassed because I was dripping blood on the floor and because I felt completely weak and helpless, but they were so nice and understanding because it is of course their job to help you in this situation. The nurse even helps you um...clean yourself, after you use the bathroom. Mostly because it becomes a kind of complicated routine for the next week or two. They give you these horribly un-cute mesh undies to put on, and put the biggest sanitary pad you've ever seen in your life down on them. Then they put a glove filled with ice cubes into a sock and put that thing down on the pad, then they put little circular witch hazel pads down on the sock, then, once you've gone as much as you can (I peed a lot, and though it is scary to go number 2--especially if, like me, you received stitches--try to be brave and go if you can because you'll feel worse if you hold it in--and hopefully they've given you stool softener pills to take--I took some a few days prior to my scheduled induction because a friend wisely advised me to do so), they will fill a little squirt bottle for you with warm to hot water and you use that to clean yourself. I had no idea about this stuff until a few days beforehand, but the hot water feels amazingly soothing. I love that bottle thing. Once you've watered yourself down, you can use toilet paper to very gently pat dry (it's pointless to do so though because you're going to feel wet for a few days anyway) and then they spray you and your witch hazel pads with a numbing spray, (which I did not think numbed me that well, but oh well) and THEN you pull your underwear up with the pad, ice pack, and witch hazel pads in them and waddle (or limp if you're me) back to bed. So you see, using the bathroom becomes quite the process for a couple of weeks, but gradually you eliminate the ice pack and move to smaller pads, then stop using the spray and witch hazel pads until you're just using regular pads and (if you want to) using the spray bottle until your stitches have dissolved. This is not the rest of your life, so don't worry!

8. The bleeding might not be as bad as people say. For me, after the fourth day, my bleeding went down to less than the heaviest day of my period. I was kind of worried at first because everyone said the flow will be heavy for two weeks, but mine wasn't. In fact, it was hardly anything for the next few weeks. It did not go away completely until about five weeks, but it certainly was not what I'd been told to anticipate. A few times, the blood was brown or a chunk (sorry) would come out, but nurses reassured me that was all normal. The solid pieces that fall out are blood clots and small ones are normal. The only thing that is worrisome is if the bleeding increases or turns to gushing, or if you lose a clot the size of your fist (The size of your fist, you ask? Remember a whole baby came out of you). But everything else is pretty normal. It was kind of like having a long but light period for me. Everyone is different, but you might not bleed as much as you think.

9. Your belly will still be much larger than you'd think afterward. It's unfortunate, and I kept hoping that wouldn't be the case for me, but it was. Your belly will feel really weird, too. It weirded me out to push on the flabby thing that it had become because it feels kind of like jello. Or like one of those memory foam mattresses because when you push on it, it slowly fills in again. Thankfully, it's very temporary and the first week or two are by far the worst. Which brings me to my next point--

10. Breastfeeding can be a miraculous weight-loss exercise (for some people). Lots of people say so, but I didn't know how true it was until I was at a month post-partum and (much to my surprise) was feeling close to my normal self without having done virtually ANY other exercises. If you can breastfeed, DO IT. I know it is hard for many women for various reasons, but be persistent for a few weeks and if it gets easier (like it should for most women), keep going! I am definitely not anti-formula, but I am pro-breastfeeding. It's good for your baby and for you and it's free. Also, I am not sure how common it is for nurses to offer this (mine did), but I would not hesitate to ask for a nipple shield. It's a thin, clear plastic thing that protects your sensitive areola skin and it made nursing a bazillion times easier for me (with both babies). I think the shield is only intended to be used for a few weeks until the baby gets used to nursing, but I used mine for four months with Tenley and two months with my second, Declan. With the shield, I never had soreness or dryness or any of those things you read about and I attribute it to this amazing invention, which you can view here (I believe they're $9 at Wal-Mart. Worth it a million times over). And though lanolin cream is amazing, I haven't ever actually needed to use it because of the shield.

Quick update: I will tell you that I have received many comments from people who say that the nipple shield ruined their experience, but I have two other friends who, like me, felt that the shield saved their breastfeeding experience. I think it may depend also on how long you choose to use it. For me personally, and two of my friends, we used the shield quite a bit past the suggested time. I used mine for about 4 months until I decided I wanted to get my baby to adapt without it. The week transitioning was rough--not for Tenley, who thankfully figured it out quickly (and by then, my nipples were not so flat or inverted)--but for me and my nipples. Suddenly I understood the pain people were talking about. It took about a week for my skin to toughen up, and in the meantime, my nipples were more sore than usual, but I persevered and now I hope I can avoid using the shield with future pregnancies. In the end, I am just thankful that I was able to do it because (especially now 11 months later) I truly believe in the benefits of breast milk and nursing!

More about breastfeeding (if you are interested): as you are probably aware if you've read any books, the stuff your baby gets from you the first several days is a fatty substance called colostrum (or first milk). I know for me, I worried my baby wasn't getting enough to eat because the stuff doesn't exactly flow out like milk. But that's normal. Around day four or five post-partum, my milk came in. And then I KNEW it. I had been wondering the days before if the change in colostrum was milk. But when it happened, it was very obvious (and very white). It seriously happened overnight. I woke up and my breasts were HUGE. Like so big, I was disgusted (I do not personally care for big boobs, especially on me). And it wasn't long before the leaking began. Yes, you leak. If you're like me, you'll leak a lot. That was the worst thing for me for a while. I woke up a few nights in a huge puddle of milk. It felt like I'd wet my bra and shirt. But after a couple of weeks, my body regulated itself and things got a lot easier and a lot less wet. Also, in case you didn't know (because I know I didn't), when you nurse on one side, you leak on the other side. That's where these babies come in handy. If you intend to breastfeed, I personally think these breast cups are must-haves for a few reasons. If you're wondering what you do with them, it's pretty simple. While you nurse on one side, you put a cup over your nipple on the other side to catch the leaking milk. During my first two weeks or so, I would fill the other cup (they would actually overflow) with milk, which I decided to save in a sanitized bottle to store for later. I truly don't know how moms even want to breastfeed without these things. They save you from tons of messes and from spending tons of money on nursing pads which get expensive! By the way, if and when you do get nursing pads, I strongly advise getting Johnson's. I hated all of the other types I tried (and I tried like four other types because ladies gave me some). Another useful tool while breastfeeding is a nursing pillow. I've heard great things about the "Boppy" pillow, but I got mine for FREE (other than shipping!) by signing up for a free account at Motherhood Maternity (they sent me home with tons of amazing coupons include a code to get a free nursing pillow!). Here is the link to the site where I got mine (I have the red Starry Night one). I could spend an entire post on breastfeeding but the point is, there are tons of great tools and resources out there to make breastfeeding a lot easier for you. The hospital will likely offer you the chance to visit with a lactation specialist and give you plenty of pamphlets on places you can go to get help with breastfeeding. Plus the people at WIC are really pro-breastfeeding and have lots of free resources to help new moms. You can do it! It can be hard, but it's worth it.

Update: I just want to clarify that I am not anti-formula at all! Formula is truly amazing these days. But it's very expensive. And it doesn't go through babies as easily as breastmilk (which is also FREE!). Regardless, I don't want anyone to feel bad AT ALL if they choose to use formula (I was given formula myself as a baby for about six months)--you do what you can for your baby and yourself. I just personally really love nursing and want to encourage other moms to go for it if they can! (It's also something that is not worth stressing about because in the long-run, it won't matter to you, so don't feel bad either way).

11. The first two weeks are the worst. It gets better. I remember feeling so discouraged about my body and thinking I'd never be the same again. I was swollen and lumpy and did not feel very cute. But like I mentioned, by one month postpartum, I couldn't believe how much better I felt. I was almost back to normal--or at least, feeling normal. Going to the bathroom was less complicated. I began to have hope that I would be able to reach my pre-pregnancy weight sooner than I'd anticipated. My stitches had finally dissolved completely. Just plan for those first two weeks to be hard. Expect it. But remember that they will be over before you know it and you'll feel SO much better. You will be able to wipe again normally! You can get through it! And in the meantime, let people take care of you. This is your chance to ask your husband, family members, friends, ward members, and neighbors for lots of help. Ask for meals to be brought to you. If you need something from the store, let someone do it for you. You need the service and you're providing an opportunity for someone else's life to be blessed by offering their service to you. Win-win.

12. Stretch marks can appear after you've had the baby. It stinks, but it happened to me. I had only a few small stretch marks on my butt and hips before Tenley was born. But after, I got them on the upper part of the back of my thighs, bigger ones on my butt and hips, and even under my breasts, which I was not expecting. When you gain or lose a lot of weight really quickly, that's what happens. It doesn't happen to everyone--my sister-in-law I'm pretty sure only got a few on her butt--and some lucky ladies don't get any, but try to think of them as little marks of proof that you've created a miracle. Fortunately for most LDS women, they're usually in places that no one but your husband will ever see anyway. And they do fade quite a bit within a year. Mine kind of look like tiger claw marks. Even though it may be hard at first (truthfully, it was for me), embrace those purply-pink stripes because if you want more kids, you'll more than likely get them. And to me, if a few marks are the cost of creating a human being, they're totally worth it.

Update: I actually have grown to like the stretch marks on my thighs and sides now (not so much the ones under my bellybutton which came with my second baby because I look kind of wrinkly, but oh well;)! They marks are kind of silvery and faded and I like that they show I am a mother (especially because people rarely think I look my age).

13. You're going to be given a lot of  advice about raising your child. Some good, some awful. For some reason, when people see children, they can't help but speak their opinion--wanted or not--about how they should be raised. I'm sure many of these people mean well, but what was best for their sister's child or their neighbor's or their own child is NOT necessarily the best for yours. I suggest you plan how you will handle the unwanted suggestions before it happens to you otherwise you might be caught off guard by the outrageousness or rudeness. Personally, I think being kind is the best choice, so I just say, "Oh thank you for telling me your opinion," and let them think they gave me some life-changing advice. Motherhood also comes with a lot of judgment. I could speak volumes on this subject, but simply put, do your own thing. Forget what other moms are saying they're doing. You're going to do just fine and you know what is best for your children. Which brings us to this:

14. YOU know your own child best. You and no one else. Even better than your husband. It's true. Moms just spend so much time around their child that they cannot help but learn their signals and even their cries. My husband will often say, "Dear, she's hungry!" about our daughter, and I'll reply, "No honey, she's just tired." You really can tell. Sometimes--possibly more often than you'd like--you will feel overwhelmed by your baby's crying. Tenley hardly cried compares to most babies and I still felt (and feel) overwhelmed at times. Declan's behavior as a baby has been more average, but his crying doesn't stress me out so much. I think maybe I'm just used to it. But sometimes, babies just cry, and no amount of feeding, burping, walking, or rocking will soothe them. Just remember that it will end. They can't cry forever. If they sense that you're upset or frustrated, it only gets worse. So set your baby down in a safe spot for a few minutes, walk away, cry yourself, calm your nerves down so your baby will sense the change in your body language, check on her, pick her up and hold her close, and say a prayer. Remember that God loves that precious daughter of His and he will help you. To give an example, during one such episode of crying, I felt my frustration and dismay increasing to the point where I wanted to cry myself. Suddenly, I thought, She's Heavenly Father's daughter, too, and He cares about her happiness as much as I do. Then, while still walking around, bouncing Tenley in my arms, I prayed aloud: "Heavenly Father, please help Tenley feel happy. Please let her know she is loved and if she is feeling sick, please help me to know what to do so I can help her." As soon as I'd finished my plea, Tenley stopped crying. Like, right away. I couldn't believe it had happened so immediately, but I thanked Heavenly Father for choosing to answer my prayer directly at that time.

15. It really will feel like it flew by when you look back on it. Everyone says that, but I can't even believe how time has passed for me. Seriously, cherish every moment. Take a video at least once a week--you'll miss the newborn sounds and cries when your baby's voice changes. Take a photo every day. I'm serious. No one has ever regretted taking too many pictures of their child. Take baby footprints. And baby handprints. Snuggle your child. Keep a perspective. Think about how much you love those tender moments with your little one and remember that they won't always be as readily available. Memorize her face and the fragrant smell of her hair and skin. Kiss your child until your lips are chapped. There's no such thing as loving your baby too much. And they change SO fast! You won't even believe it.


Because this post has been so popular, I wrote this one on my additional thoughts as a second-time mom! Once again, my experience was wonderful (even better than the first time!) so I hope you'll read this if you are interested.

If you want to read more about pregnancy/giving birth, check out my official birth story, here!

What are some other tips pregnant ladies should know before going into labor? Postpartum?
If you had a different (but still positive) experience than me, please share! 

Saturday, November 16

The Mother Games: 13 Games All Moms Play

 Catchy title, I know. It doesn't rhyme with The Hunger Games as well as I had hoped, but nevertheless, this post is about the crazy stuff that moms get to do. Who says being a stay-at-home mom isn't fun? I promise that if you try these games, you'll realize that motherhood is a blast. 

1. Cry Decoder
Object: Using only instinct, determine what your child needs based off of his or her tone of shrieking.
Commentary: Believe it or not, moms are given the ability to read cries (not quite as cool as reading minds, but better than nothing) and can do so in the face of chaos. Whether it's tired cry, a hungry cry, a tummy-ache cry, or something else, moms by far have the advantage in this game.

2. Avoid the Acid
Object: Dodge your child's projectile vomit/spit-up--even if it means you're sacrificing the floor. Or nearby furniture.
Commentary: This game is unpredictable and therefore requires much agility and skill on your part. Sometimes you don't know it's coming until it's too late, while other times you'll hear a wet sound from your child's mouth seconds before it happens which is your only warning. Best strategy: Keep those burp cloths handy and like a boy scout (or like Scar from Lion King), be prepared. And also prepare to never have totally clean carpets again.

3. Booger Chase
Object: Using whatever means necessary, get as much stuff out of baby's nose as possible before he or she starts crying--or, if you're persistent, before the crying turns into an uncontrollable fit of flailing limbs, making it impossible for you to continue. You're trying to get a stupid booger out of you baby's nostril which is like the size of a dried up pea (the nostril not the booger), and you think it's reachable, when all of a sudden your child breathes (for goodness' sake!) and sucks it back in. It's a battle to the death, I tell you.
Commentary: You know those stupid bulb things for getting snot out of your baby's tiny nose? Those things are ridiculously annoying. You'd think if someone could invent an iPad, someone else could figure out how to make a more efficient snot collector.

4. Mad Dash
Object: Put your baby down for a nap, then get as much done around the house as possible before the alarm goes off.* The alarm is your baby.
Commentary: This game is a fun one that most moms play daily. It's a little bit like Perfection (you know that game where you have to fit all the different-shaped pieces into their spots before the timer goes off suddenly and they all pop out?) because you never know how long you have. It could be ten minutes, it could be thirty minutes, it could be five hours. The best strategy is to plan ahead what tasks you want to do (and which ones you can do quickly) and then, as soon as you get the chance, seize it. *Variation: Some moms like to sneak in naps instead but I don't like to nap unless I'm guaranteed at least an hour's worth of sleep.

5. Run the Red
Object: Get home as quickly as possible with a crying baby in the backseat without losing your patience or breaking the law.
Commentary: How many times have you gotten almost all of your errands done and you're about to do one last thing before heading home when your child alerts you that you actually ARE done and you're going home to feed him/her NOW. In this moment you wonder for a fleeting moment if you can do just one last quick thing before heading home. Then you remember how much of a pain it is to unbuckle and re-buckle your child, especially a crying one, into his or her car seat and decide you're done. Unfortunately for you, baby is the boss. And no amount of soothing words, music, or rattle-shaking is going to help you now. Getting home fast with a crying baby is a kind of paradox. I can assure you, nine times out of ten you will hit every red light and be surrounded by the worst drivers on the road. Or at least it seems that way (darn you, Murphy's law!). Just remember that it's not the end of the world (though your baby may sure be acting like it is) and getting home safely is what's important. If you can't handle the pressure, no worries, just pull over and take care of things before you go any farther.

6. Maximum Load
Object: Test how much your baby's diaper can hold without developing into a blowout.
Commentary: This is kind of a game of chance. Sometimes, changing your baby's diaper right away is the right thing to do. Other times, you can sense that he or she is not quite done, and you'll be changing him or her again in a few minutes if you don't just wait. Then there's the question of changing your child's diaper if it's just a little pee. Sigh, the moral battles we go through daily while caring for our children. Honestly, I usually leave Tenley in a peed-in diaper for a little while because diapers are designed to absorb the liquid so your child can't feel it. Kind of like pads, ladies. But if it's poop, I've learned that waiting is super risky if you don't want to put your child into an entirely new outfit.

7. Catch the Splat
Object: Using a burp cloth (or in some situations, your sleeve, a blanket, whatever you have handy...), wipe your child's spit-up or drool BEFORE it gets all over his or her adorable little outfit and leave the front of the onesie soaking.
Commentary: I cannot stand when Tenley's front gets all wet with spit-up or drool because, first off, it's annoying (who wants to sit in wet things all day) and secondly, she starts to smell. Like yucky old milk. And it's not cute. This game is a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing that can happen anywhere at any time no matter how inconvenient.

8. Stop the Paci
Object: Keep the pacifier from being projected out of your child's mouth onto the germ-ridden floor.
Commentary: This is probably my least favorite game. I feel like I am constantly checking Tenley's pacifier for hairs or bit of floor, or else popping it in my own mouth to clean it off after a fall. It's gross. But I willingly sacrifice my health to keep Tenley healthy. Bonus points awarded if, like me, you have cat-like reflexes and can catch the pacifier in mid-air 50% of the time.

9. Shoe Drop
Object: Keep your baby's socks and shoes on all day.
Commentary: That's it, that's the game. But it actually is a challenge, especially with little babies who do not seem to like either items very much. Bonus points if you get the socks or shoes to stay on by the time you get home. Points taken away if you lose a sock or shoe.

10. One-Handed
Object: Do anything with a baby in one arm. Cook dinner. Take a shower. Get dressed. Use the bathroom. Do laundry. Write a blog post.
Commentary: Seriously, try it. Challenge yourself even more by making that a crying or flailing baby.

11. No-Handed
Object: Do regular tasks with no hands. (Check out this funny article about you can prepare to be a parent if you want some ideas.)
Commentary: Some babies are two-handed babies. They can sense when you aren't giving them your full undivided attention and not only want to be held and bounced but burped or patted, too. When this happens, moms have to get creative. Picking up toys or socks with one's feet is not uncommon. Bonus points to those of you who have had to use your mouth.

12. Hide-and-Seek
Object: Get your child in his or her own crib to sleep, then sneak out of the room without making a sound or being seen.
Commentary: This is a lot harder than regular hide-and-seek. Children seem to have mom radar that alerts them to your presence, whether you're crazy good at being silent or just regular silent.

13. Play Doctor
Object: Using your limited resources (a thermometer, children's tylenol, the internet) figure out if your child is really sick or just upset.
Commentary: From clipping your child's fingernails (which is like trying to thread a needle in 50mph winds) to observing the color, texture, amount, etc. of your child's poop, you now play a minor role as a children's doctor with possibly no training whatsoever. Good thing you at least have your maternal instincts to rely on. And your own mom. And the internet.
Tenley's face when I try some of these games with her.
Now after reading all of these, I ask: Why again, aren't American mothers paid to stay at home with their children? Don't ask me, I wasn't at the meeting. But if I had been, that would have been the sole item on my agenda. (If you like that idea, this post may interest you!) I really do think moms deserve to be paid for staying with their children, because raising the next generation (WELL) truly is the most important thing anyone could do.
I just adore my silly, sweet daughter ;)
What do you think? 
Should moms be paid to stay at home? Why or why not?
Have you ever played (or witnessed someone else playing) any of these games? Which ones?

Monday, November 11

Post-Partum Weirdness: Reflecting on My First Pregnancy

I have a confession. And it will surely weird some people out. But I want to talk about it, so here it is:

Not only did I love being pregnant, but I loved giving birth. 

K, now feel free to call me odd, but even with four hours of pushing a little human person (with a huge head!) out of a place that does not quite seem big enough to do so, in a very weird--possibly sadistic--way, I enjoyed it. I can already hear some of you: What is she smoking? Well, trust me--I'm not smoking anything and I'd like to think I'm quite sound of mind, but it's true. Hear me out--

I had a very easy first pregnancy. I mean, complaints from previous posts aside, I look back and think, "Geez, that was nothing." And really, they weren't. If occasional discomfort is the trade for growing a little person that can make you happier than you ever dreamed, you'd think so too. I never threw up or had anything out-of-the-ordinary happen, and my doctor basically confirmed each visit that my pregnancy was what the medical world would label completely average. I had all the typical worries of a first-time mom, including (but not limited to) fear of miscarriage, fear of labor, and fear of being a crappy mom--but I got to the point where I realized that worrying did me NO good. Finally, I told myself that whatever is supposed to happen, will happen, and as long as I'm doing the best I can, it'll work out. If my child is supposed to live, she will. Take a deep breath and have faith.

Giving birth was hard. Like, the hardest thing I've ever done. But it felt like a kind of challenge--a good one. Having a baby (like actually giving birth) was, in a weird way, a high for me that I've never experienced before (obviously, but you know what I mean). It was invigorating. My feelings about this weren't instant...but it wasn't very long after having Tenley that I felt energized in an unexpected way. And it wasn't just adrenaline (because that does kick in when one is essentially trying to push a bowling ball out of a gum-ball machine). It was more than that--I felt like I had accomplished my potential as a woman. I did something that fewer than half of people alive today can do. I made a person! Not single-handedly, but let's be honest, I did most of the work in that respect.

I am no feminist, but if I were, I can tell you that more than anything else, having a baby helped me feel the measure of my creation. In other words, I'm glad I'm a woman. I'm glad God chose us to carry and deliver and raise his most precious beings.

And I want to do it again. 
See?? Look how happy I look! Of course this was also right after I'd gotten the epidural, but...
True happiness is holding your new baby.
Being a new mom has been amazing. Tenley has been really easy on me so far. She cries and wakes me up and poops a LOT like every baby, but based on the complaints I hear some mothers making, I have it super easy. My body, at three months post-partum, is almost completely back to what it was before I got pregnant, which I certainly never expected (and which I know is NOT the experience for most women--breastfeeding was the key for me if you're wondering! If you can do it, DO!). I've finally established some form of a normal routine again. But most important of all: I'm happy. She's happy. Husband's happy. Life is good--to put it mildly. And this happiness I've never felt is so great that I want to share it. And feed it. By adding more humans to our family.


And while I'm thinking about it--right here, right now, I'm vowing NOT to look at useless advice on the Internet for child #2. Seriously, 92.5% of what I read was--there's no other way to say it--complete CRAP, at least for me. It didn't apply to me or my situation, and nothing that the millions of ladies on the motherhood/pregnancy chats said, happened to me. My personal situation was unique. If you're a woman, your personal situation will be unique. Or your wife's will be. If and when the time comes, trust your instincts and motherly intuition, and more than anything TRUST GOD. He loves you. He cares about you and your worries. Like this pin says:


Does anyone feel the same way? 
In a weird way did you like giving birth?
Anyone disagree?


Sunday, October 13

Nicknames (Apodos)

We have always had a lot of nicknames for Tenley--even before she was born. We just couldn't help it. They range from variations of her names to completely random things we've started calling her.

For fun, here are the ones I can think of (and the explanations) for Tenley:

Ten (for obvious reasons)
Tenners (longer version)
Ten-Ren (Tenley ReNae)
Ten-Wen (which for some reason reminds me of Star Wars...maybe it's Obi-wan or padawan that does it)
Ten-Wenners (this came from Ten-Wen)
Ten-Belen (which evolved into...)
Belen (which, by the way is Bethlehem in Spanish--fun fact)
Tiny Ten & Big Ten (some days she seems small, other days she's big)
Baby girl, baby bird, and little bug (just describing her cuteness and littleness)
Babester (which obviously came from baby)
Pipster and little pip (yes these are weird, but you'll see how easy it is to do this to their names when you have a kid)
Teeny Tiny (she's still our little baby ;)

There are probably others we use less often, but these are the main ones. Especially the ones in bold. Anyway, we try to call her Tenley so she'll know her name obviously, but sometimes nicknames are cute. Especially for a baby.

What nicknames did you have for your kids and where did they come from?

Thursday, October 10

2 Months Old!

As I've shared before (many times already), I love motherhood. I laugh every day at my sweetest daughter, and I've lost track of her now frequent smiles and adorable talking--she talks a lot now (like her mom, ha ha). She is absolutely perfect (all babies are :) and I have been so blessed with how calm and mild-mannered she is. Tenley will be two months old on Saturday, the 12th. She still wakes up only once a night, but despite this--much to my dismay--I'm now constantly exhausted. My tiredness has caught up with me. I will note that this is likely in part due to poor choices on Dalin's and my part, like staying up until past 1AM watching episodes of 24 (which we had been so good about not doing until now...). Sigh. We need to start being responsible parents and following the advice in the book "On Becoming BabyWise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep" which Dr. Randall Pace gave to us when Tenley was born. I tried...for a day...to establish a feeding schedule, but it is harder than you would think to stay on track! Well, it was easy for one day. Anyway, I've been kind of an "on-demand" feeder for the most part but that isn't always convenient (though fortunately Tenley is quite patient when we're out of the house). Anyway, I can't complain--she's a pretty great baby! (All babies are great though...some are just a little trickier than others...)

Dalin and I got the flu shot this morning to hopefully prevent Tenley from getting sick. I'll let you know right now that if you are sick, we will be keeping her away from you. We can't afford to let her be exposed to anything as I'm sure you understand (she's still an infant so sickness can be quite dangerous). Our left arms feel like they've been punched from the shot (I swear the soreness after is much worse than the shot itself) but it'll be worth it if it keeps Ten healthy.

Tomorrow we take her to get her immunizations...I feel like crying just thinking about it. It'll be worth it if it keeps her healthy though. Oh, and her pediatrician says she looks very healthy and that she has a strong neck. She currently weighs 11 lbs, 1 oz. and is 22" long. Such a big girl! We sure love her. 


Thursday, September 26

Thoughts on Co-Sleeping WIth Baby

Our daughter Tenley is a great sleeper. Dalin and I have gotten into the unfortunate habit of going to bed between 11pm and midnight regularly (at least we've done away with those one or two in the morning nights), but so far it has worked great with Tenley. She nurses somewhere between those hours, then I place her in the bassinet in her room, which you enter through our room, and then I don't have to get up until she wakes me between four and (more recently) six in the morning. At that point, I go in and get our little munchkin (who has the saddest cry ever by the way), and then she joins us on our bed, right between us, and we (she and I) fall asleep while I feed her. Dalin gets up, depending on the day, at about six or seven in the morning, and it is around then that I usually feed Tenley again. Then she and I sleep in until nine or so. At that point, she usually needs to be changed asap or she pees our bed (it's happened like five times) or, worse, has a blowout (like yesterday). It's not a perfect routine, but it allows me plenty of rest. A few times, Tenley has even slept through the night (well, by my definition she has) sleeping six or seven hours straight.

The thing that is hard to understand is how a person so small can take up so much of our bed. I'm not kidding when I say I think she has more space than either Dalin or I do. I've woken up very close to the edge of our Queen sized bed and nearly slipped off. Dalin and I know the risks of co-sleeping (not that they apply to everyone--my brothers and I all co-slept with our parents and we're still breathing) and we think about it a lot because the idea of something happening to Tenley is scary. I'm not worried about myself so much as I am about Dalin accidentally rolling on her (which he worries about, too, though he's never come close) or a pillow covering her face and her not moving or crying to alert us. We are very careful about those things of course, but the trouble is not that we can't get her to sleep only in her bed, but that we miss her when she is in her own bed. Just last night, Dalin and I put her down in her bassinet in her room, then we visited her a few times to look at her, check on her, and give her kisses. Dalin said, "We need to get one of those co-sleeper things." And I said, "I know, I agree. It would be nice if she slept in her bed all night (if I took the time to put her back in there after I fed her) but I miss her when she isn't with us." And Dalin kind of laughed and said, "I know, me too."

It is hard for us to be away from our sweet girl. She is so snuggly and there is something about watching your own baby asleep that makes you feel so good inside. There is also the worry about her being alone, cold, and any other number of things. Example: the other day when I brought Tenley in her room to be changed, I saw a BIG GRAY SPIDER on the wall right next to her bed. I never thought of myself as super afraid of spiders, but saying so would be inaccurate now. Somehow the fear has worsened with age (despite all I know about spiders, they're just gross and I've heard too many horror stories) and this has prevented me from being the one to kill them. (I don't like killing any bug really though...the crunching sound they make when squished is what bothers me most.) I usually scream for Dalin who sighs and gets a tissue. But at this particular time, Dalin wasn't around and I did not want to take my eye off the nasty thing because there was NO WAY IN HECK that spider was going to live and possibly get into my daughter's bed and bite her in the night. So I manned up and got a tissue and, after mentally preparing myself for far too long, smashed the darn thing.

Anyhow, what was I saying? Describing that moment was almost like re-living it...anyway, the point is, that unknown things could happen to her while she isn't under our constant watch and that scares us! We still feel like we have freedom in our current routine so we are debating whether or not to change it, but ideally I would like to foster her sense of independence by having her regularly sleep from at least midnight to seven a.m. in her own bed.

Our routine, ideally, would be: I feed Tenley around 11pm, burp her, change her, and dress her in pjs. Then I read to her, sing to her, and snuggle with her before putting her in bed. Then she wouldn't wake up 'til morning for her next feeding and changing. So far, we do all these things, just not always in the same order. (Reading time is usually during the day.)

So my question for you is what do you think? What worked for your children? What is your opinion about co-sleeping?