Monday, November 11

Post-Partum Weirdness: Reflecting on My First Pregnancy

I have a confession. And it will surely weird some people out. But I want to talk about it, so here it is:

Not only did I love being pregnant, but I loved giving birth. 

K, now feel free to call me odd, but even with four hours of pushing a little human person (with a huge head!) out of a place that does not quite seem big enough to do so, in a very weird--possibly sadistic--way, I enjoyed it. I can already hear some of you: What is she smoking? Well, trust me--I'm not smoking anything and I'd like to think I'm quite sound of mind, but it's true. Hear me out--

I had a very easy first pregnancy. I mean, complaints from previous posts aside, I look back and think, "Geez, that was nothing." And really, they weren't. If occasional discomfort is the trade for growing a little person that can make you happier than you ever dreamed, you'd think so too. I never threw up or had anything out-of-the-ordinary happen, and my doctor basically confirmed each visit that my pregnancy was what the medical world would label completely average. I had all the typical worries of a first-time mom, including (but not limited to) fear of miscarriage, fear of labor, and fear of being a crappy mom--but I got to the point where I realized that worrying did me NO good. Finally, I told myself that whatever is supposed to happen, will happen, and as long as I'm doing the best I can, it'll work out. If my child is supposed to live, she will. Take a deep breath and have faith.

Giving birth was hard. Like, the hardest thing I've ever done. But it felt like a kind of challenge--a good one. Having a baby (like actually giving birth) was, in a weird way, a high for me that I've never experienced before (obviously, but you know what I mean). It was invigorating. My feelings about this weren't instant...but it wasn't very long after having Tenley that I felt energized in an unexpected way. And it wasn't just adrenaline (because that does kick in when one is essentially trying to push a bowling ball out of a gum-ball machine). It was more than that--I felt like I had accomplished my potential as a woman. I did something that fewer than half of people alive today can do. I made a person! Not single-handedly, but let's be honest, I did most of the work in that respect.

I am no feminist, but if I were, I can tell you that more than anything else, having a baby helped me feel the measure of my creation. In other words, I'm glad I'm a woman. I'm glad God chose us to carry and deliver and raise his most precious beings.

And I want to do it again. 
See?? Look how happy I look! Of course this was also right after I'd gotten the epidural, but...
True happiness is holding your new baby.
Being a new mom has been amazing. Tenley has been really easy on me so far. She cries and wakes me up and poops a LOT like every baby, but based on the complaints I hear some mothers making, I have it super easy. My body, at three months post-partum, is almost completely back to what it was before I got pregnant, which I certainly never expected (and which I know is NOT the experience for most women--breastfeeding was the key for me if you're wondering! If you can do it, DO!). I've finally established some form of a normal routine again. But most important of all: I'm happy. She's happy. Husband's happy. Life is good--to put it mildly. And this happiness I've never felt is so great that I want to share it. And feed it. By adding more humans to our family.

And while I'm thinking about it--right here, right now, I'm vowing NOT to look at useless advice on the Internet for child #2. Seriously, 92.5% of what I read was--there's no other way to say it--complete CRAP, at least for me. It didn't apply to me or my situation, and nothing that the millions of ladies on the motherhood/pregnancy chats said, happened to me. My personal situation was unique. If you're a woman, your personal situation will be unique. Or your wife's will be. If and when the time comes, trust your instincts and motherly intuition, and more than anything TRUST GOD. He loves you. He cares about you and your worries. Like this pin says:

Does anyone feel the same way? 
In a weird way did you like giving birth?
Anyone disagree?


  1. I love being pregnant, and even more I love giving birth too! Delivering my two babies has been the hardest (physical) thing I have ever done..and probably ever will do. But it IS invigorating like you said. I have never had an epidural, so I can't speak for most women. But I know that in those moments, I have never felt so ALIVE! When I am in labor, I am able to listen to my body and I feel like I am in total control of my situation, and I (and no one else, besides God) am in control of the delivery of this precious cargo. I felt and experienced it as much as I possibly could.....and in those moments, I knew - for just a moment - in a small way, what our Savior must have suffered for me in the Garden of Gethsemane. When I give birth, I know that I am closer to my Savior. I also have felt the presence of my great grandmother and great-grandmother in the room, which has given me strength. And that is why I do it, and love it too!

    1. Thank you for sharing this, Emily! I so agree with you. I know it was stressful for Dalin while he was there worrying about us, but looking back I feel like that experience was awesome. And the pain was worth it. I love how you compare it to the Savior's suffering. But boy, if he experienced the pains of all women who have ever given birth, I can't even comprehend that. I'm so grateful for His Atonement for us! That is true love!

  2. Thank you so much for sharing this! I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant with my first, and I must say, I've had it fairly easy as well. Aside from some unrelenting heartburn (it came instead of morning sickness, which I'm so thankful I didn't get), mild discomfort (except when I try to roll over in bed or try to get in and out of the car), I've been very blessed. No acne, I've only gained about 25 of the 35 I'm allotted, and a very supportive husband. I couldn't do it without God's help, and I'm so looking forward to holding my little one. I'm hoping to have a natural birth (no epidural and limited medical interventions) except in an emergency situation. It was so wonderful hearing a godly woman's recount of her birth.


I absolutely love to hear from you & will reply if I can!