Friday, December 20

Encouragement Needed

I need some motivation.

I'm on the final stretch of one (sadly, just one) of my three Independent Study classes: Evil English 291. Who told me that English was fun again??? Oh, I did. Gah.

Right now, I'm seriously reconsidering my major. I hear that happens a lot to people my age. I guess I still love English. But I just want to read and write about the things that interest me. I apologize to those who like the stuff, but British literature and poetry from the Middle Ages? Blahhhh. So boring to me.

Side note: I like English because I like reading, writing, and editing. That means I like creative writing. I like fun books. I want to be an editor so I can stay home with my kids and read books like Harry Potter and The Hunger Games all day. There are very few poets (particularly before the 19th century) that have truly impressed me or piqued my interest. I prefer stories. Fairytales. Historic and realistic fiction. With complex plots. That get your emotions involved. Not that abhorrent Beowulf stuff...

I already have an Associate's of Science in English degree (whatever that means exactly) from BYU-Idaho. Do I really need a Bachelor's degree from BYU? I'm more than halfway done, so it would basically have been a waste of all that tuition if I didn't finish now. But it's hard. I already have a blog that I love writing on. I have a tiny source of income writing short articles for a website. I write a lot.

So I have to remind myself why I'm doing this. I have to tell myself it's going to be worth it. I have to imagine how proud I will feel when I am finished; when I can say, "Uh, yes, I have a Bachelor's in English (no big deal...)." One thing that is driving me to finish is my desire to be the first in my family to graduate (not that it's a competition, but come on, it's first). On my side, I will likely be the very first grandchild and the only one in my immediate family. Maybe it's hard now that Grandpa French has passed away this year. He was my number one reason for wanting to graduate. But it's stupid to think that just because he isn't present in person that he isn't here in spirit rooting me on.

I've got to finish. I've reached a point where getting A's is no longer as big a priority as it always has been for me. If I can get away with doing mediocre work and still get B's, that's cool with me. I'm not saying I won't try (though it sure is starting to sound that way I realize...), but I am saying that getting grades less than an A is not the end of the world. I'm pretty sure like .00001% of people in existence actually care about me getting A's. When I am 63, I'm not going to be thinking, "Dash it all, I got a stupid B+ in that one English class." If I am thinking that for some reason, then my life will have to have gotten pretty lame.

So--anyway--I am telling myself right now that I can do it. I can finish.

Oh, and I technically have until January 4th to finish my three I.S. classes (which is not going to happen no matter what) but I think it's a reasonable goal to finish one of them. I have five assignments, an essay, and the final left for English 291. If Tenley was really, really happy and easy tomorrow, I probably could finish.

But as long as I get half of those things done before our Christmas trip (we leave Monday!) and the rest done after we get back on the 2nd of January, I might just get lucky. But we'll see.

Well, wish me luck! If you're feeling generous, please send a quick prayer my way! I just need to finish!!!!!!!

Have you felt discouraged about your major before? How did you cope?
Anyone else studying English (and not completely loving it)?
Do you think I realistically can finish this class before the 4th??


  1. Olivia, I can't even tell you how much I relate to this post (minus the English major part). This semester especially, I struggled with my chosen major and my education situation in general. I've had many moments asking myself "why the heck am I doing this?" But like you, I keep telling myself that it will be worth it one day. And more recently when I get discouraged with school, I remind myself what a blessing it is to be able to be getting an education/degree in ANYTHING at all. There are many who are denied that opportunity. And a lot of times, that keeps me motivated. Anyway, I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one out there who questions my choice when it comes to my major. Best of luck with your IS class!

    1. Thank you, Allyson! I am so glad I'm not alone (even though it sucks that you're feeling that way, too). Also, thanks for reading my blog! It makes me feel like it's worthwhile. :)

  2. I do not know how hard your assignments are but you can certainly get all of that done by the 4th if you allot all your free time to doing your homework. Make Dalin watch Tenley when he's home. The only way you will not accomplish all of that work is because you continue to procrastinate or chose not to. Set the priorities straight for this week and you will be amazed how much you've accomplished.

  3. You will NEVER regret any of you educational discussions! Keep at it! Set a grand example for your younger cousins and brothers.. Merry Christmas! Safe travels and best of luck

    1. Thank you for your encouragement! It meant so much to me! I am much closer to finishing now than I was before. Thanks so much!

  4. I had a boss tell me once "no one can ever take away your education". Statistics show that people with bachelors degrees have a higher earning potential and more job options (the more important part) than those without a BS/BA. Based on what you want to do, I'd say go get that degree girl! It will pay off in the end and you will be setting an amazing example for your daughter.

    I totally understand where you are coming from though. School is tough and not very fun a lot of the time. A little suffering now will be worth it in the end (something I tell myself daily). I'm praying that you make the best decision for you and your family!

    1. I really appreciate your kind words! I read them a while ago but I just noticed that I never replied (though I did in my head, but that doesn't help). Thank you for being so encouraging! I am looking forward to finishing and, like you said, I do believe that it will pay off in the long run!


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