On Being Super Woman

After my last post, someone asked me how I have time to blog almost every day with a 6 month old. She (I am assuming it was a she) also asked if I was super woman. I actually thought that that was a really nice comment. But no, I am definitely not super woman, though that would be awesome and I'm sure I would get a lot more done if I was. I am responding with a full post because I was thinking a lot about how to respond to this question and there were too many things I wanted to say.

First off, I guess blogging is a small part of my priorities. I don't really think of it as particularly important, but it is something that I do enjoy and that I hope has helped some people a time or two. But I guess to answer your question in the most plain way, I have time to do it because I make time. I love to write and I think about blogging fairly often throughout my day. Now that I have a smart phone finally (I just got it a month ago as a gift from family--prior to then I had a Motorola Razr haha), taking photos is a lot easier. So when I am going about my day, thinking of ideas for posts, I usually choose to write things that align with my life at the time. Like when I wrote about my favorite cleaning product the other day, that was because I decided to do a fairly deep clean of the kitchen and our bedroom that day and I thought, why not? I had my camera handy and took a few photos during and after. I also plan out my posts a lot during the day. Like I was imagining what I would say for the post as I was cleaning the kitchen. Then, all I needed was for the baby to go down for a nap or play with daddy so I could take half an hour to upload photos and get down the many things I had been thinking about. I admit I am not a good revisionist whatsoever which is ironic because my intentions were are to become an editor. Probably if I were getting paid to blog, I would put in a little more effort, but for now, it's just a thing I like to do that helps motivate me to be better.

What do I mean by that? Well think about it. If I just didn't care about improving myself, I would probably be blogging about watching Netflix all day (which sometimes I do anyway...) because I would not care about accomplishing anything. Fortunately, I do care about becoming my best self and so I try to be that person every day. I fail a lot. Too many times. But blogging about my life has helped to motivate me a little more. I don't want to write about boring things, I want to focus on the joys in my life and on my love of being a wife and mother. So I guess in a sense, my life is fun and pleasantly busy because I make it that way. I want to blog about my accomplishments, so I accomplish things to blog about. Does that make sense?

You mentioned that you have a young infant and that he or she keeps you occupied. While Tenley is considered easy as far as babies go, she still cries and whines and wants to be with me almost all the time. I absolutely adore her and spend so much of my day on her that it does seem quite surprising that I ever have time for anything else. And while she is my world, the reason I have time to do other things (just like blogging) is because I make time.

My priorities in regards to my daughter each day are to make sure she eats enough, sleeps enough, gets read to, and that she has a lot of playtime. Playing is basically a baby's job and is the best way for a child to learn so I make independent time a priority. It is not always easy. Sometimes I put her in her little Bumbo chair or in her jumper/bouncer thing and she just fusses the whole time. But I let her fuss and get as many things done possible as I can before it escalates. Some days, I have to nurse her to sleep on our bed and then sneak away before she wakes up. But I do this and let her cry sometimes (though it always is hard) because I am trying to teach her to be independent. Sometimes, she is just making it impossible to accomplish anything, and then I strap on our baby carrier and take her with me. I've done dishes, laundry, all kinds of household tasks while wearing her. I have to pretend I'm working out because she gets heavy in that thing after a while. But basically, I make do every day and adapt to the situation.

I realize those things may not be possible for your child because all babies are so different. One thing that motivates me is fiercely believing in my job as a mother. It really is hard work and I treat motherhood the way I would any other job (only I think I work even harder because it's a job that's truly important to me). I want to be the best mom. I doubt my children will always think that of me, but it is a personal goal for me to work toward achieving. I have always wanted a big family...somewhere around seven kids would be awesome (though I'll admit my husband is hoping I'll compromise) and that being the case, I have a mentality that one kid is a piece of cake, even though sometimes it isn't. I have to have that mentality if I could ever hope to fulfill my goal of becoming a mother of seven. I have to tell myself that I can do it or I don't think I would have sufficient motivation.

I actually believe that this mode of thinking is the primary reason that I had such a good birth experience. Everyone has always told me I would change my mind about having seven children after giving birth to my first. Because of that, I have kind of always been determined to prove those people wrong. Everyone treated my thirteen hours of labor (four of which were pushing) like I had done something insane or impossible. But to me, I was just doing what had to be done to get a baby out of me. Also, I know that having seven kids can't always be that easy, and so I remind myself that I haven't seen anything yet. I am confident that God does and will continue to help me if I rely on Him.

I firmly believe that our minds can be tools to help us become our best selves but you have to have the right attitude. That sounds super cheesy but I've realized this in my own life over and over as I have grown up and I know it is true. Tell yourself you can do it all. You can do hard things. And you will.

I am so far from being Super Woman that it's sad. But I like the person I am becoming. Try setting goals each day of things you hope to accomplish. If you even get one thing done, you are a success. That is what gets me through my days and I have high hopes that it will help you, too.

Dear friend, I hope this gave you some insight into my life. Thank you for your kind comment and know that it really made me think a lot. Thanks for that.

Best,

A Life of Service

I want to live a life of service. I have been trying to work on that lately. Pretty much since 2014 began. 

I am trying to be more selfless and less selfish. 

I am trying to give more and ask for less. 

I am trying to make others feel more loved, more important and less unnoticed.

I am trying to do more, accomplish more, and waste less time.

Sometimes, you just have to do nothing though. Today, I certainly did not accomplish as much as I wanted (I'm still exhausted from Las Vegas--particularly from our night camping out in the car which is a little Toyota Camry by the way...) and I'm trying not to blame it on Tenley. She's a trooper and even though she has been wanting more attention lately, who can blame her? Not I. She is just learning to do more activities, previously undiscovered, and is more anxious than ever to play (which is a baby's job in case you didn't know). But she is such an angel and I have no reason to complain because she really is a joy to have around.

Also, isn't she cute?

How do you serve others? (Feel free to brag about it--I want some ideas!) 

Has there been an instance of service that you gave or received that really stood out in your mind? 

Why I Don't Post Daily

There are a lot of excuses I could give for why I don't write on here daily. Most of them, you could predict. But besides being a busy stay-at-home mom and student, the main reason I don't (and quite frankly, can't) post every day is because I don't want to. I love blogging--really I do. It makes me happy in a way only one who enjoys writing can understand. But I do not like being so connected all the time. (Remember that post I shared a month or two ago with some random things about me? Getting off the grid, or at least wanting to, was on there.)

Let's get one thing straight: Technology is great. I'm so thankful I can be in touch with my parents and brothers and husband and in-laws throughout the days and weeks. But technology is also numbing. You don't have to agree with me, and sometimes I feel like a hypocrite arguing this particular sentiment, but I usually don't feel...what's the word...happy, after being on the computer for hours. When I go on Pinterest and somehow end up staying there for three hours, I feel a little bit sick to my stomach when I think of all the time I wasted pinning amazing ideas to make my home and family and life better. Because pinning isn't doing (though the English language would technically disagree with me). Going on Facebook is another big time waster that I am completely guilty of. Do I really need to read about every detail of everyone's life from their status updates? Nope. I don't. I didn't do it when I was a young teenager, and I don't think I was any less happy back then. Same with email (ha ha, you're thinking, who uses email still?). I hardly go on mine except to erase the dozens of spam messages I receive, but I don't need to waste so much time going through junk.

How is that a waste of time--connecting with family and friends? you may be wondering. Well, everything in moderation, and like any addiction, somehow Facebook and Pinterest and Instagram and Twitter (for some people) have the ability to draw people in and hold their attention for much longer than they intended.

Why is everyone so interested and--dare I say--obsessed with other people's lives? Isn't comparison and judgement what we as Christians are supposed to avoid? We should be seeking after things that are VIRTUOUS, LOVELY, OF GOOD REPORT, and PRAISEWORTHY. We should be working a little harder to grow closer to Christ. We should have sympathy and charity in our hearts. We should be loving those around us to the very best of our abilities.

Boredom is simply no excuse. There are a million other BETTER or BEST things you can choose to do than go on the internet. Read a book. Read your scriptures. Paint. Learn to paint. Visit a friend. Have a friend over. Make cookies for someone. Make a special meal for your husband. Learn to cook. Go grocery shopping. Do laundry. Clean the house/apartment. Play a game with your husband, roommates, children. Write a letter to someone. Do a random act of kindness. Write in your journal. Watch a good movie. Listen to Christmas music. Decorate your house/apartment. Call a friend. Look for coupons and use them. Gather recipes. Make a list. Exercise. Try something new. Do a craft. Learn a craft. Share a craft. Take some photos of your family. Reorganize a desk or room. Learn something new!

That was like 30 things right there off the top of my head. Whatever you choose to do, do it with all your heart. Don't be half-hearted. Be confident and give your best effort!

Most of all, I do not want to be so connected or attached to the Internet because it greatly takes away from the time I have to spend loving and enjoying and teaching my daughter. I can tell you, taking breaks are good and necessary. But there is a significant difference between checking a message and surfing the web for hours. My daughter is little and so precious to me. I may not always be patient with her, but I always want to make sure I enjoy her littleness before it's gone. This is the only time in all eternity that I will have to enjoy it. Some moms can't wait for their kids to grow up. Sometimes I can't wait until Tenley is old enough to play with and bring places and do all kinds of things. But more than that, I want to "let [her] be little" while she has the chance.

The Internet is not always a bad thing. But too much of a good thing is not so good. And as Christians, we should always be choosing not just better things, but the BEST things.

I encourage you to go do some good in the world today! (Or, if it's too late, tomorrow). To steal a line from a favorite Church hymn, "Wake up and doing something more!" You'll be happier for it, I know it. Unplug for a few hours and connect to what really matters--real individuals.

What are some other ways we can do some good in the world?
How and when do you like to unplug from the cyber world?

Desktop Words

These are quotes that I typed onto sticky notes on my computer desktop at various times in the last three years...most are from my time at BYU-Idaho. My desktop is a disaster as a result, so I thought I'd put them somewhere out of the way where I could find them if I needed to. Look for the ones that stand out to you as you read!

Good Financial Advice:

Pay an honest tithing

Learn to manage money

Learn self-discipline and self-restraint

Use a budget

Teach family the importance of working & earning

Teach children to save money

Teach family members to contribute to family welfare

Make education a continuing process

Work toward home ownership

Choose an insurance program

Understand the influence of external forces
Have food storage/emergency preparedness

"Despite the changes which come into our lives and with gratitude in our hearts, may we fill our days—as much as we can—with those things which matter most. May we cherish those we hold dear and express our love to them in word and in deed." ~President Thomas S. Monson

"God knows what we do not know and sees what we do not see." ~President Howard W. Hunter

2 Nephi 13:9: "The show of their countenance doth witness for them."

"The greatest responsibility in this world that God has laid upon us is to seek after our dead...For it is necessary that the sealing power should be in our hands to seal our children and our dead for the fulness of the dispensation to meet the promises made by Jesus Christ before the foundation of the world for the salvation of man." ~The Prophet Joseph Smith 

"If you have repented from serious transgression and mistakenly believe that you will always be a second-class citizen in the kingdom of God, learn that is not true." ~Elder Richard G. Scott

"Income five dollars and expenses six dollars: misery. Income four dollars and expenses three dollars: happiness." ~Charles Dickens (David Copperfield)

“We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are.” ~Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Matthew 10:16: "Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves." We do not need to be aggressive to stand up against the lies of the world, but we do need to be wise and cautious to avoid being deceived.

"As a woman, please don’t judge how worthwhile, needed, and loved you are by our inept ability to express our true feelings. Your divinely conferred trait of giving of self without counting the cost leads you to underestimate your own worth." ~Elder Richard G. Scott

"Do something every day that scares you." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

D&C 98:1: "Rejoice evermore and in everything give thanks."

Jeremiah 29:13: "Ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye search for me with all your heart." 

"It is better to Prepare & Prevent than to Repair and Repent." ~President Ezra Taft Benson

Devotional May 10: Elder Donald L. Hallstrom

"The duty to act is OURS."

Mosiah 2:41: "Consider the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God...they dwell with Him in a state of never-ending happiness."

New & Everlasting Covenant: The Gospel of Jesus Christ

~The Temple is a place for making/renewing covenants

~Our covenants are a blessing, not a burden. 

~Pray for the strength to live true to your covenants. 

~What really matters, is HOW we live. Not how long. 

~Firmly establishing a relationship with God (will bless our posterity)

So tell me which of these (if any) stood out to you and which is your favorite!

Kindness Weighs More Than Fat

I just read this article on Yahoo called "My Girlfriend Weighs More Than Me. So What?" and I have to say I thought it was fantastic. I think my favorite part was Ali's description of why he and Gloria connect so well: 

The fact is Gloria and I have so much in common. We feel the same way about our families - they are the most important people in our lives. Our parents taught us the value of hard work and good morals, and how we should conduct ourselves and treat other people. We also share an idiosyncratic sense of humor —we find things funny that other people don't.

I honestly loved this article and I am completely disgusted with some of the comments that people made to be cruel. I'll be honest, I have a lot of overweight family members, but that didn't even cross my mind as I read this. All I thought was that this sweet girl is a human being and she is probably nicer than most skinny people. I don't know that for sure, but I can tell by Ali's description of her that she is a gem. 

I truthfully do not care about the size of someone or their body. I love big people. More often than not, they seem to have a better nature and sense of humor than most thin people. Obviously it is preferable to be healthy but there are plenty of larger men and women who simply come from large stock and are still very healthy despite their stature. I know that Heavenly Father does not judge us based on our physical characteristics but on the intent of our heart so I ask: what gives us the right to judge others on their physical appearance? There are things I don't like about my own body and appearance but I hope more than anything that most people see past those things to the person I am inside. I hate when I hear someone make a comment about how a person looks or dresses because I know that that person is a child of God and that they are probably doing the best they can with the life they have. 

I think we (as humans) need to consider these quotes a little more seriously: 

"When I grow frustrated with someone I think, 'Watch yourself, that's a child of God.'" 

~Maya Angelou

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

~Author Unknown

"There's nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the surface of the ocean itself, except that when you finally see what goes on underwater, you realize that you've been missing the whole point of the ocean. Staying on the surface all the time is like going to the circus and staring at the outside of the tent." 

~Dave Barry

Surely I am not the only one who feels this way--I like a person so much the better when I find they have a kind, positive personality. I have met dozens of people who I initially thought were incredibly beautiful or attractive, but as soon as they began to speak they started to look less so because it became clear they had a very shallow and insincere persona. It works the other way, too. There are those who seem plain or ordinary upon first meeting them, but when I truly get to know them, their attractiveness increases dramatically. This happens more often than I would like to admit. Does that mean that my first impressions of people are often wrong? Or maybe it means that in my heart, I do slightly judge or stereotype others based on their appearance until I get to know them as a person. I think it is impossible to look at someone's outward appearance and not form an initial impression of them. The difference is looking at them thereafter with an open heart, and willing yourself to see the good in them if they have it. Every kind person I have met has an indefinable quality about them that makes them more attractive in my eyes because of who they are. I try to see the good in others because that is how I want people to see me. I personally do not want people to only notice my physical imperfections and decide on the type of person that I am based on those alone. 

For those of you who are extremely attractive and have a good heart, I think you are just extra blessed. Perhaps you are particularly beautiful because your genuine inner beauty radiates outward. For those of you who are extremely attractive, but cruel and judgmental inside, just ask yourself this: "What's the point of being pretty on the outside [if] you're so ugly on the inside?" (Jess C. Scott). (Also, I might add that I think pretty people look ugly the more I look at them and come to know their true character.)

I think the whole human race needs to resolve to be a little kinder to those around them. I personally will do so as well. Be kind, and remember that God looks at our hearts. 

This is the couple from the article. How cute are they?

What are your thoughts on this subject? Does outward appearance matter?
How did you like the article I referenced?

The To Do List: Provo & Orem Edition

I'm not going to lie--I am starting to like Utah a little bit. You may be thinking, "Sheesh, it only took two whole years..." but seriously, we have found a few things around here recently that we never knew about until now (like a sweet short-cut to Orem for one...) and it has changed my outlook on living here dramatically. Not that I would want to make it a long-term thing--I'm still an east coast girl who needs the clear blue lakes and ocean--but I need to take the advice of numerous sisters in the church and "bloom where [I'm] planted." 

So I'm creating a "To Do" list, which will also be a bucket list of sorts, or basically a compilation of ideas and suggestions from people in the area (or previous residents). It can include restaurants, cafes, sights to see, or fun places. Or it can just be something we should do at a certain time of year and get a good deal (like near particular holidays for example).

What I would like from those who make suggestions are the following:

• the name of the place
• a summary of what it is/what there is to do (or what YOU did/ate there)
• the general location (preferably Provo/Orem area because we don't travel much)
• an idea of the cost (FREE, cheap, or kind of costly)

If you could give me a few ideas, I would SO appreciate it! We have just one year left here and I'm going to do my best to make it fun. So please,

Give us your suggestions! :)

Christmas Gifts

I need help.

Not mental help, though that might be true, too.

What I need is help with gift ideas. I am stumped.

Every year, I start Christmas lists and start gathering gifts in November. This year, I haven't even been able to think of a single item for anyone...well except Dalin, but only because he keeps asking for one thing (another 25lb weight...).

I generally like to give thoughtful gifts, or ones that are needed and will actually be enjoyed. I think my disadvantage this year (though I tend to look at it as more of a tremendous blessing) is that I do not work at Dillard's like I did last winter. It was easy to be thinking about Christmas gifts all day while working in the Men's Department which already looked like Christmas in early November. Plus I got so many deals with my employee discount there...that was undeniably a great benefit of working in a department store around the holidays. I would not, however, want to trade back from the job I have now as office assistant manager at King Henry.

Anyhow, I would really appreciate some advice.

Dalin and I had said we were going small (though Dalin says he has already bought me four things.....) but I want to find something special and useful for him.

And then there are our many family members to think of.

Sigh. Well we will figure it out.

If you can think of some fun gift ideas or know of a site where I can get ideas for home-made gifts, I would LOVE to hear them.

How is your Christmas shopping going??