Sunday, February 23

On Being Super Woman

After my last post, someone asked me how I have time to blog almost every day with a 6 month old. She (I am assuming it was a she) also asked if I was super woman. I actually thought that that was a really nice comment. But no, I am definitely not super woman, though that would be awesome and I'm sure I would get a lot more done if I was. I am responding with a full post because I was thinking a lot about how to respond to this question and there were too many things I wanted to say.

First off, I guess blogging is a small part of my priorities. I don't really think of it as particularly important, but it is something that I do enjoy and that I hope has helped some people a time or two. But I guess to answer your question in the most plain way, I have time to do it because I make time. I love to write and I think about blogging fairly often throughout my day. Now that I have a smart phone finally (I just got it a month ago as a gift from family--prior to then I had a Motorola Razr haha), taking photos is a lot easier. So when I am going about my day, thinking of ideas for posts, I usually choose to write things that align with my life at the time. Like when I wrote about my favorite cleaning product the other day, that was because I decided to do a fairly deep clean of the kitchen and our bedroom that day and I thought, why not? I had my camera handy and took a few photos during and after. I also plan out my posts a lot during the day. Like I was imagining what I would say for the post as I was cleaning the kitchen. Then, all I needed was for the baby to go down for a nap or play with daddy so I could take half an hour to upload photos and get down the many things I had been thinking about. I admit I am not a good revisionist whatsoever which is ironic because my intentions were are to become an editor. Probably if I were getting paid to blog, I would put in a little more effort, but for now, it's just a thing I like to do that helps motivate me to be better.

What do I mean by that? Well think about it. If I just didn't care about improving myself, I would probably be blogging about watching Netflix all day (which sometimes I do anyway...) because I would not care about accomplishing anything. Fortunately, I do care about becoming my best self and so I try to be that person every day. I fail a lot. Too many times. But blogging about my life has helped to motivate me a little more. I don't want to write about boring things, I want to focus on the joys in my life and on my love of being a wife and mother. So I guess in a sense, my life is fun and pleasantly busy because I make it that way. I want to blog about my accomplishments, so I accomplish things to blog about. Does that make sense?

You mentioned that you have a young infant and that he or she keeps you occupied. While Tenley is considered easy as far as babies go, she still cries and whines and wants to be with me almost all the time. I absolutely adore her and spend so much of my day on her that it does seem quite surprising that I ever have time for anything else. And while she is my world, the reason I have time to do other things (just like blogging) is because I make time.

My priorities in regards to my daughter each day are to make sure she eats enough, sleeps enough, gets read to, and that she has a lot of playtime. Playing is basically a baby's job and is the best way for a child to learn so I make independent time a priority. It is not always easy. Sometimes I put her in her little Bumbo chair or in her jumper/bouncer thing and she just fusses the whole time. But I let her fuss and get as many things done possible as I can before it escalates. Some days, I have to nurse her to sleep on our bed and then sneak away before she wakes up. But I do this and let her cry sometimes (though it always is hard) because I am trying to teach her to be independent. Sometimes, she is just making it impossible to accomplish anything, and then I strap on our baby carrier and take her with me. I've done dishes, laundry, all kinds of household tasks while wearing her. I have to pretend I'm working out because she gets heavy in that thing after a while. But basically, I make do every day and adapt to the situation.

I realize those things may not be possible for your child because all babies are so different. One thing that motivates me is fiercely believing in my job as a mother. It really is hard work and I treat motherhood the way I would any other job (only I think I work even harder because it's a job that's truly important to me). I want to be the best mom. I doubt my children will always think that of me, but it is a personal goal for me to work toward achieving. I have always wanted a big family...somewhere around seven kids would be awesome (though I'll admit my husband is hoping I'll compromise) and that being the case, I have a mentality that one kid is a piece of cake, even though sometimes it isn't. I have to have that mentality if I could ever hope to fulfill my goal of becoming a mother of seven. I have to tell myself that I can do it or I don't think I would have sufficient motivation.

I actually believe that this mode of thinking is the primary reason that I had such a good birth experience. Everyone has always told me I would change my mind about having seven children after giving birth to my first. Because of that, I have kind of always been determined to prove those people wrong. Everyone treated my thirteen hours of labor (four of which were pushing) like I had done something insane or impossible. But to me, I was just doing what had to be done to get a baby out of me. Also, I know that having seven kids can't always be that easy, and so I remind myself that I haven't seen anything yet. I am confident that God does and will continue to help me if I rely on Him.

I firmly believe that our minds can be tools to help us become our best selves but you have to have the right attitude. That sounds super cheesy but I've realized this in my own life over and over as I have grown up and I know it is true. Tell yourself you can do it all. You can do hard things. And you will.

I am so far from being Super Woman that it's sad. But I like the person I am becoming. Try setting goals each day of things you hope to accomplish. If you even get one thing done, you are a success. That is what gets me through my days and I have high hopes that it will help you, too.

Dear friend, I hope this gave you some insight into my life. Thank you for your kind comment and know that it really made me think a lot. Thanks for that.


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