Here are some things my children should know about me. Many of these things you can figure out on your own just from getting to know me, but I don't think I've written them down anywhere in my thirty journals and I should probably record it. For posterity. Some are serious, some are just for fun.
1. I am stubborn when it comes to my political and religious beliefs. I know what I know and I do not like to be told that I'm wrong. I will always defend my beliefs in these respective areas. It is an inherent and obstinate part of my personality.
2. I rarely exercise and I wear only a little makeup. I'm too lazy to exercise, truthfully, but I would do it if I thought it would improve my health. My body is surprisingly almost completely back to my pre-pregnancy body at 8 weeks [today] though (go breastfeeding!), and as long as I'm eating well, I do not see that it is entirely necessary. I won't deny that exercise does greatly improve my mood so perhaps that is reason enough to do it. As for makeup, as long as I have mascara and eyeliner, I don't care about anything else. I want to look like myself and I do not care for the caked on look. And neither does Dalin thankfully. I'm all for enhancing one's natural beauty.
3. I've made it my goal to not buy any clothes for myself or Dalin for a year (see
here). So far it hasn't been that difficult (I literally haven't been to a clothing store since I set the goal which has helped) but I am sure sooner or later I will be tempted and my resolve to follow through will be tested. But I have a feeling I can do it and that I'll be better for it. It is one way that I'm making a sincere effort to be more grateful for all that I already have been given by a loving Father.
4. Sometimes--very often more recently--I just want to give up with school. It is very hard to have perspective when I don't see myself working necessarily and when the end feels so far off (though it really isn't). Plus, Independent Study stinks. But I know the end result will be worth it someday. "Eternal perspective," I tell myself repeatedly.
5. My primary love language is
physical touch (9), followed by
quality time (7),
acts of service (6),
words of affirmation (5), and then
receiving gifts (3). Find out your love language
right here. (Okay, can I just add that Dalin's love language is the complete opposite of mine?? His is: words of affirmation (9), quality time (8), acts of service (8), receiving gifts (4), and physical touch (a freaking 1! Are you kidding me?!?!). But we're still married ;)
6. Being a mother is an incredible joy. It's better than I ever imagined it would be as a little girl who wanted a "Cheaper-By-The-Dozen"-sized family. I love holding my daughter as she snuggles into me. I love hearing her talk and coo at me. I love watching her smile in her sleep and her reactions to us smiling at her. I love the way she looks right into my eyes and gazes at me with so much love and wonder. I love seeing her with her daddy. I love that stage between wake and asleep and all her grunts and yawns and stretches. I love smelling her, touching her, nursing her, and feeling that she is all mine. I love that she makes me feel needed and wanted. I even love when she cries (I'm terrible--I usually start laughing because the things that babies cry about seem ridiculous to me) and when she scratches my chest with her sharp little claws. All the other moments make up for it. She makes me excited to meet my other children who aren't born yet.
7. I have an adventurous spirit. I frequently daydream about the future. I imagine our future home (and all the Pinterest projects I have lined up...) and sometimes I dream about what it would be like to get off the grid and be on our own for a while. I like the woods. I like my family. God is always with us. What more do I need, really? Then I remember that I love the rest of my family, too. And that I would miss them if we were just on our own. But still, it is fun to daydream.
8. I truly love my role as a Latter-day Saint woman. If you need convincing that the Mormon church properly honors and respects women, take a look at
this right here. I think you will find that we are given a lot of credit for our divine role. I do not buy into modern society's view of what "true womanhood" is.
9. I feel like I am much smarter now than I have ever been at any other point in my life (especially thanks to the
General Conference messages we just heard the last few days). Yeah, we all learn new things every day so this seems fairly obvious. But looking back through the years, there are a lot of things I wish I had known about life and about myself. I'm still naive about a lot of things, but some people call that "positivity" and it's a good quality. In some ways, I'm a realist (for example, I know the world is becoming increasingly evil), but I try to use the knowledge gained from that mindset to enhance my positive outlook. Being positive is a choice. It's hard, but it's worth it.
10. I'm happy (not just right now...like, I'm a happy person) because of my Latter-day Saint background to know that death is not the end. Because of our Savior Jesus Christ, I know we will live again. I am happy because I know (and believe with all my being) that families are forever. I'm happy because I know that Heavenly Father loves me. I am His child and so are you. Even if you don't believe it, too late. You can never change that you are a son or daughter of God.
11. I write in my journal every single day (and have since I was 13, hence the thirty-one journals I've filled) because I was asked to. The leaders of the Church encouraged me (and every other young person) to keep a journal. And so I do because I want to be obedient. Is it more for posterity or myself?--I couldn't say. Most likely it is for both of us. Do I feel like a moron when I read my old journals most of the time? Yes. Because I was silly. And I keep learning from the past. And I change every day.
12. I feel that I have good intuition. What does that mean, exactly? (See definition below) I have an innate sense about things in general. I think that I read people well. I can interpret and predict people's behavior, attitudes, and even how they are thinking based on their actions or body language. I
get people--I understand how and why they think. On another note, I often feel like I know what is about to happen and then it does. I understand Tenley's needs. The last one is probably just mother's intuition, which
is real, (and all mother's have it whether they heed it or not). How do I account for these intuent feelings? Probably very often it is the Spirit inspiring me. But I do believe that Heavenly Father gives us each certain unique gifts and talents and that my ability to discern people and my acute perception are a few of mine.
13. Sometimes (this kind of relates back to number 7) I wish that Dalin didn't have to work (in other words, that we were millionaires) and that we could live in a nice humble abode by the lake (with at least five bedrooms for us and our imaginary seven children) or the ocean, and that we could hang out and play together all the time without having to worry about finances ever. Money is dumb. And we can live off the land and provide for ourselves. And we can fly. (Just kidding about the last part though everything else is basically just as unrealistic).
14. I want my children to know that after Heavenly Father, I love their dad more than anything that has ever existed. And then them. And I hope that someday they will say the same thing about their Father in Heaven and their spouse.
15. What you see is what you get. I am far from perfect. I make mistakes every day though I try to improve myself. But I am real. I am down to earth. This is my first time being a mom. I never took a class or had a practice kid (though being the first child, Tenley is kind of in that position), I'm just figuring it out as I go along. I hope I don't stink as a mother, but if I mess up, remember that this is my first time and hopefully I'll get wiser as time goes on.
And a few more (not necessarily as important):
16. I want more babies. Lots of them. Everyone knows this about me. I love being a mom! Best kind of work ever.
17. I developed photos (because of Tenley) for the first time in years last week. So sad. Facebook and the internet have destroyed the need to develop pics. Probably when our kids are grown that won't be an option anymore. All picture frames will be digital. I hope not.
18. I am currently addicted to Cranberry-Lemonade (it took me a few glasses to get used to it) and to dark chocolate coconut almonds (thanks, Emily!). The best part about these two things? (and no they don't go together). Cranberries and almonds are good for you! Score. My kids probably won't care about this information, but I'll just throw in that I love juice and nuts in any form.
19. Someday, I want to get a dog. I think. (Sometimes I remember how much work they are and start to reconsider). If I were to get a dog, I'd want a dachshund (that's what my parents have and he is the best) or a beagle (or a mix of the two) because Snoopy is a beagle and I love Snoopy. So much. And all the Peanuts. But that's besides the point.
20. I love receiving flowers (of all kinds!) on any given day for any reason. Who doesn't? I have a bad habit though of saving them all...I dry them out then hang them places. I'm a little too sentimental when it comes to flowers I guess;)
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| Just being a mom. Love Tenley's sleep smile. |
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| Our family is forever. Period. |
Did any of these surprise you? If so, which one(s)?
Is there anything that you think I need to add to this list?
