Friday, April 17

The Hardest Part of Growing Up

This post is for my "30 Things" thing I have going on to share with my kids someday. 

There are lots of part of growing up that are hard. I remember wanting to move away from my school a few times because I was just sick of the people there and wanted a fresh start. My parents weren't too concerned about that particular wish of mine and so we didn't move. And I got through it even though sometimes I wondered if I would.

But looking many years into the future, here I am, a wife of almost four years, in a completely different place than I was just five years ago. I am where I hoped I would be (you know when people ask, Where do you hope to be in five years?  Somehow, I got here--except quite honestly I thought I'd be graduated by now) but there are many pieces of being a real actual adult that are hard to grasp.

For one thing, it's kind of sad when you finally come to terms with the cold reality of adulthood. People are judgmental. Competitive. There are some out there who are just plain unkind. If you know me, you know that I value kindness almost above any other trait. One of the ideals I hope to instill in my children in regards to how they should treat other people is to kill 'em with kindness. I think Jesus was kind, and so I want to be kind too. I believe that kindness is seriously undervalued today. I also strongly believe in karma and feel that people who are kind are always rewarded with the best blessings.

Beautiful print by Alexa Zurcher from He & I. 
My dad is a great example of being kind to everyone. Even to those who might be a little odd or strange or those who you might believe are lesser than you because of their looks, financial standing, etc. My dad is friendly to everyone regardless of where they came from and I love that about him. I've always loved how he interacts with strangers. He's a great example of kindness to others and even better at being a missionary by example.

Another hard part about growing up today involves technology. I realize the irony as I type this. Technology is everywhere and it has hugely changed social interaction. Face to face interaction is more limited. And when you actually do find yourself face to face with a long lost family member or friend, phones are an integral--pretty much unavoidable--part of it. It's very rare to see a group of friends hanging out with no phones. I hate it.

I hate that I depend so much on technology to stay close to my family. I hate that it's so addicting. I hate that it's become a necessity in modern day. I feel as though people are weaker because of it. Weaker and colder. Voice your opinion on the web, and you're at risk to be ridiculed for your thoughts, beliefs, and lifestyle without mercy. Whole lives are ruined by cyber bullying and it happens a lot. Post one little comment and suddenly you are berated with hate from those who feel differently. It's happened to me. So. Many. Times. I'm over it though. I try to remember LDS President Hinckley's advice:

"Happy is the man who can brush off the offending remarks of another and go on his way."
Technology also makes comparing yourself to others so easy. Everyone's lives are put on display and usually only the best parts are shown. It's easy to mistake that for meaning that their lives are perfect. They don't have trials or difficulties and your life by comparison looks pretty dim. It's easy to judge others as a result. You see only a small portion of their life and make judgements based on that alone. 

I guess the message I wish to convey to my children is this:

Be kind to others. Just do it. Don't even let yourself think mean thoughts about a person because thoughts quickly become words. Try to view them as a loving Father & Mother would view them. 

Be gentle with yourself--you know when you're trying your best. There is always work to be done but we need just remember to try a little harder to be a little better each day. 

Do your best not to compare yourself to others. Doing so only fosters jealousy and jealousy will do nothing but make you unhappy. It's true. 

Do not judge harshly. Remember that not everyone has the same upbringing or beliefs as you do. There are some people who know better, but it is up to God to judge and us to forgive.

Aside, I am excited to see the new Cinderella movie because I love the message it teaches. My sweet babes, you may be all grown up now, but remember not to underestimate the message to have courage and be kind. It will get you far. I hope my children will appreciate the value of being kind to everyone. I know it will make them happy people.

And isn't this life about happiness?


  1. I tried to comment about this a little bit ago, but it looks like it may have either not gone up, or you didn't want it on your blog. In that case, I hope I'm not bothering you! I was just wondering-my cousins are such a huge part of my life (they're better than best friends because they're always honest and you know that you will love them always and they love you too) and I was wondering, do Tenley and Declan have cousins? Do they have aunts and uncles? I'm not sure if you did a post about your siblings and nieces and nephews a little while ago and I missed it, or what. You don't know me, but I hope you don't take this in a creepy way. It's not meant like that at all! Family is just the most important thing and I'm just being curious. BTW I love the new blog layout and fonts and whatnot-it looks super cool!

    1. Ahhh I'm so sorry about that, Lynna! If I had received a comment from you, it definitely would have been put up but I never saw one! You are not bothering me one bit--I love comments!
      And yes I have two younger brothers, Payson (22) and Donovan (15), though all of our birthdays are in August ! I love my brothers but hardly get to see them because they live in New Hampshire. But I will actually be posting about Payson soon probably because he is flying out here for all of May! And Dalin has three younger sisters, Cassie, Shaina, and Jensen. Cassie and Shaina are both married with (almost) two kids each (they're both pregnant!). I will have to post more about the cousins! We don't see them a lot either though unfortunately. Cousins were a huge part of my life growing up, too! I wish I lived closer to most of them. Someday though;)
      And thank you! I think it's a much cleaner look for the blog. It took a while for me to figure out the technical aspect of it, but it's slowly coming to me;)
      Thank you for your comment! I'll try to make it easier for people to comment right now...

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    3. Aw, it's so good that Tenley and Declan have (almost) 4 cousins! Hopefully they live near each other and can play all the time. :) When those two babies are born you should DEFINITELY post about all your nieces and nephews. In the meantime I will be praying for the two little unborn babies. That's so much fun to have two coming!


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