Three Fears and How They Came to Be

I'm (gradually) doing this list from another woman's blog, so that explains the topic.

When I think of my top fears, the first thing that comes to mind is the dark. That can't really be your top fear, you're thinking, but considering it more, I suppose it is more a fear of the unknown that makes this a legitimate concern. I hate dark parking lots. The Wymount parking lot is so dark. At least, in the corner where our parking space is. Sometimes when I would go out at 11pm to pick Dalin up from work, the lights wouldn't even be on yet. (Not that it matters--even when they are on it's still pitch black along the sidewalk to our car). On my way to the car, I get my car keys out and hold them like little knives, ready to jab someone in the eye if they should pop out behind a bush or tree and attack me. I know that sounds super paranoid (especially to any men who might read this) but when you're a small, defenseless woman you have to worry about these things unfortunately because the world is full of messed-up people who would take advantage of a woman because they can. Anyway, I try not to run because I swear running to the car makes it ten times scarier. Because then all of a sudden you're being chased (in your mind) by a creep like on those zillions of crime shows you've seen and the only thing you can do is jump in your car and hit the locks as fast as you can. Having Tenley has helped slightly with this fear--only because I know that I am not going to let ANYTHING happen to my baby girl, so if someone were to attack us, they'd better watch out. I think most women are hard-wired to be scared--or at least wary--of threats to their safety which is why the dark can be so scary. You just don't know who or what could be out there. As a child, I always ran from the bathroom back to my room in the middle of the night and dove onto my bed so nothing could get me. And going down into our basement to get something was always an awful task. While I was downstairs, I would make someone in my family listen to me talk (from upstairs) and reply back so they would know if something happened to me. Yeah. Now I think I've made my little brother paranoid because he hates going down into the basement, too. These pins from Pinterest describe me pretty well.

Yeah, so that is kind of two fears--the dark and bad people, so I'll just give you my third.

It's so cliché but I'm afraid of spiders. Maybe I should make this broader--I'm scared of being bitten by poisonous things (so poisonous snakes, insects, and scorpions, too). I never thought of myself as afraid of these things until I left New Hampshire. I used to hold daddy long-leg spiders in my hands when I was a kid growing up there (though the idea grosses me out now). New Hampshire has no poisonous spiders or snakes that I have ever seen. I did do some research though and learned that we have one poisonous spider (the Northern Black Widow) which has reportedly "never been seen in the wild," and the only reason we have it is because of produce transported from other states (mainly California grapes). We also have one venomous snake in the mountains (called a Timber Rattlesnake) but it is very rare and protected by the state because there are so few of them. No one I know has ever seen a black widow or a rattlesnake in all their time living in New Hampshire. We have no scorpions--it's too cold in the winter. What we do have are ticks, some of which carry Lyme Disease. Those are pretty gross little parasites and I can't say they aren't disgusting, but they have to be attached to a host for at least 36 hours for the disease to be transmitted, and my mom, her sister, and a few of my cousins have gotten Lyme Disease from ticks and live normal lives because they've been treated. Anyway, the point is, when I moved west, I became extremely afraid of poisonous spiders and snakes in particular. It was probably those stinking documentaries I watched on Discovery Channel about the desert with its rattlers and scorpions that made me so wary. If I hadn't seen any, I might not be so freaked out. While hiking with Dalin in Provo Canyon the day he proposed to me, we saw three huge snakes and while in Arizona we saw little poisonous scorpions and my fear unfortunately has not lessened since. Our apartment here in Provo has some disgustingly huge spiders living around it. The other day I say the freakiest, hugest spider I've seen since living here on the outside of Tenley's window. All I could do was make sure the window was shut tight and hope it doesn't get in somehow. This baby was over our bed one morning.

So there you have it. Those are my fears. I wish I could say that I didn't have any more, but I do--these are just my top three. I'm also afraid of drowning (I'm not a confident swimmer), my family dying from something other than old age, and of dying in a drawn out, painful way. Phew, I'm glad this post is over. Hopefully none of these will ever happen to me or you. Or anyone.

What are your greatest fears and why? 
Do you have any irrational fears?