On Being Super Woman

After my last post, someone asked me how I have time to blog almost every day with a 6 month old. She (I am assuming it was a she) also asked if I was super woman. I actually thought that that was a really nice comment. But no, I am definitely not super woman, though that would be awesome and I'm sure I would get a lot more done if I was. I am responding with a full post because I was thinking a lot about how to respond to this question and there were too many things I wanted to say.

First off, I guess blogging is a small part of my priorities. I don't really think of it as particularly important, but it is something that I do enjoy and that I hope has helped some people a time or two. But I guess to answer your question in the most plain way, I have time to do it because I make time. I love to write and I think about blogging fairly often throughout my day. Now that I have a smart phone finally (I just got it a month ago as a gift from family--prior to then I had a Motorola Razr haha), taking photos is a lot easier. So when I am going about my day, thinking of ideas for posts, I usually choose to write things that align with my life at the time. Like when I wrote about my favorite cleaning product the other day, that was because I decided to do a fairly deep clean of the kitchen and our bedroom that day and I thought, why not? I had my camera handy and took a few photos during and after. I also plan out my posts a lot during the day. Like I was imagining what I would say for the post as I was cleaning the kitchen. Then, all I needed was for the baby to go down for a nap or play with daddy so I could take half an hour to upload photos and get down the many things I had been thinking about. I admit I am not a good revisionist whatsoever which is ironic because my intentions were are to become an editor. Probably if I were getting paid to blog, I would put in a little more effort, but for now, it's just a thing I like to do that helps motivate me to be better.

What do I mean by that? Well think about it. If I just didn't care about improving myself, I would probably be blogging about watching Netflix all day (which sometimes I do anyway...) because I would not care about accomplishing anything. Fortunately, I do care about becoming my best self and so I try to be that person every day. I fail a lot. Too many times. But blogging about my life has helped to motivate me a little more. I don't want to write about boring things, I want to focus on the joys in my life and on my love of being a wife and mother. So I guess in a sense, my life is fun and pleasantly busy because I make it that way. I want to blog about my accomplishments, so I accomplish things to blog about. Does that make sense?

You mentioned that you have a young infant and that he or she keeps you occupied. While Tenley is considered easy as far as babies go, she still cries and whines and wants to be with me almost all the time. I absolutely adore her and spend so much of my day on her that it does seem quite surprising that I ever have time for anything else. And while she is my world, the reason I have time to do other things (just like blogging) is because I make time.

My priorities in regards to my daughter each day are to make sure she eats enough, sleeps enough, gets read to, and that she has a lot of playtime. Playing is basically a baby's job and is the best way for a child to learn so I make independent time a priority. It is not always easy. Sometimes I put her in her little Bumbo chair or in her jumper/bouncer thing and she just fusses the whole time. But I let her fuss and get as many things done possible as I can before it escalates. Some days, I have to nurse her to sleep on our bed and then sneak away before she wakes up. But I do this and let her cry sometimes (though it always is hard) because I am trying to teach her to be independent. Sometimes, she is just making it impossible to accomplish anything, and then I strap on our baby carrier and take her with me. I've done dishes, laundry, all kinds of household tasks while wearing her. I have to pretend I'm working out because she gets heavy in that thing after a while. But basically, I make do every day and adapt to the situation.

I realize those things may not be possible for your child because all babies are so different. One thing that motivates me is fiercely believing in my job as a mother. It really is hard work and I treat motherhood the way I would any other job (only I think I work even harder because it's a job that's truly important to me). I want to be the best mom. I doubt my children will always think that of me, but it is a personal goal for me to work toward achieving. I have always wanted a big family...somewhere around seven kids would be awesome (though I'll admit my husband is hoping I'll compromise) and that being the case, I have a mentality that one kid is a piece of cake, even though sometimes it isn't. I have to have that mentality if I could ever hope to fulfill my goal of becoming a mother of seven. I have to tell myself that I can do it or I don't think I would have sufficient motivation.

I actually believe that this mode of thinking is the primary reason that I had such a good birth experience. Everyone has always told me I would change my mind about having seven children after giving birth to my first. Because of that, I have kind of always been determined to prove those people wrong. Everyone treated my thirteen hours of labor (four of which were pushing) like I had done something insane or impossible. But to me, I was just doing what had to be done to get a baby out of me. Also, I know that having seven kids can't always be that easy, and so I remind myself that I haven't seen anything yet. I am confident that God does and will continue to help me if I rely on Him.

I firmly believe that our minds can be tools to help us become our best selves but you have to have the right attitude. That sounds super cheesy but I've realized this in my own life over and over as I have grown up and I know it is true. Tell yourself you can do it all. You can do hard things. And you will.

I am so far from being Super Woman that it's sad. But I like the person I am becoming. Try setting goals each day of things you hope to accomplish. If you even get one thing done, you are a success. That is what gets me through my days and I have high hopes that it will help you, too.

Dear friend, I hope this gave you some insight into my life. Thank you for your kind comment and know that it really made me think a lot. Thanks for that.

Best,

There Is A Point To All This

I was thinking very seriously last night about why I write this blog. Why do I? It can't be just because I enjoy writing. The time it takes to think of decent topics and take specific photos for those topics and actually write a post requires more effort than I would care to put into something just for the sake of doing it.

So I had to ask myself, is it just because I'm crazy passionate about what I believe in? That could play a role. In fact, it definitely does because I can't help but want to share the happiness the gospel of Jesus Christ brings me with others. As I've learned recently, not all of my readers believe in the same things I do. Why this was a revelation to me, you'll soon know. It seems like every time I post something even mildly controversial (and sometimes when I don't even intend for it to be controversial) I receive critical comments from readers who obviously disagree with me and feel the need to explain why I am wrong. Usually the first time I read these comments, it bugs me. As a human, I can't help but feel a tiny bit bothered that someone things I'm a hateful, ignorant, intolerant person because I think differently than they do. (This, by the way, is the very definition of intolerance--"unwillingness to accept views, beliefs, or behavior that differ from one's own.")

Thankfully, in the last few years, I've trained myself to not let these comments bother me. It's not at all that I don't care about what these people have to say, because I do. But I no longer allow their negativity, frustration, anger, etc. ruin my day or my life. I just can't afford to let that happen. It is my choice to take offense. It is my choice to be miserable. It is also my choice to be happy.

Once I made the mistake of commenting on some boy's status from my high school. He was bringing up the subject of gay marriage and I (stupidly, for I knew his political views) decided to give my two cents and wrote that I felt God intended marriage to be between a man and a woman, and made a suggestion that same-sex relationships be labeled civil unions instead so as not to alter the sacred nature and definition of marriage. The backlash I received for that simple comment was ridiculous. Everyone immediately attacked my views, calling me a "bigot" and a hater and some words I won't even say. NO one stood by me or even made an effort to understand my views. The comments that were made were plain cruel and completely out of line and basically the attacks got so bad that I had to delete the boy as a "friend." For some reason, I especially took offense to being called a bigot. A bigot?! I wanted to say. Every single person from my high school who knew ANYTHING about me, including that boy, knew I was about as far from a bigot as a person can be. In fact, many times I was told by classmates (who were not close to me at all) that I was the nicest person they'd ever met. People just liked me because I tried to be kind to everyone. I was not what I'd call "popular" because I didn't participate in many of the things that those particular classmates did, but I think that everyone liked me. When I finally realized how ridiculous that label was, (though it took me like a week to stop thinking about it, it bothered me so much) I made a conscious decision to not let people's words affect me. It wasn't like I was unaware that not everyone has the same beliefs as I do. But if they had a right to share their views, then so did I.

I may be a minority in the way I think, particularly as a Mormon. But in my mind, that makes my need even greater to share what I believe and stand firm in my values. So few people in modern day have the courage to share their convictions with others. I do not intend to be one of those people. I know in my heart what is right and I have to stand for it. In some ways, I have a responsibility to do so. This quote, for whatever reason, really resonates with me:

“The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.” ~JFK referencing Dante's Inferno

It is more important than ever that people courageously stand for goodness. And I have to admit--even if someone is at the complete opposite end of the political spectrum than I am, if they truly believe in a cause and stand for it, that is preferable in my mind to bearing no opinion whatsoever for the sake of neutrality.

So again, why do I write? It is not just to promote my political views, my morals, my values, my religion. As already stated, I feel that is important. But I also write to be a tiny positive light in this dark world. I write to record my joys and encourage others to triumph. I write to help others become their best self. I write to make ordinary things in life worthy of notice and appreciation. Like the writer William Wordsworth (though I do not consider myself to be like him in most respects), I write to "refresh [man's] sense of wonder...in the everyday, the commonplace, the trivial." In other words, I am trying to help my readers appreciate the little things. I want to motivate people to find joy in their personal journey. I want others to be happy. That's why I share what I believe and why I'm so enthusiastic about it. I am happy, and I want to spread the joy I feel from merely existing in this world with everyone. The gospel of Jesus Christ makes me happy. Because of it, I know that families are eternal. I know death is not the end. We are here for a purpose and we can obtain even greater happiness if we do not waste this life. I know these things.

Many people today do not believe in God's existence. I feel responsible for showing these people that He does. This video is kind of cute:

There is still goodness in this world. This video shows it.

If you ever have a question about something I believe in, please don't hesitate to ask me. I am happy to have a discussion with you. I promise I won't belittle your opinion.

Thank you for reading my blog, too. It means that I'm accomplishing my goal in a small way.

7 Resolutions (Just a Little Early)

This year, I'm getting a head-start on my New Year's Resolutions for 2014. I have never been very good (okay, I've been awful) at following through with them in the past. And normally I like to wait until the actual day (it feels more like a clean slate that way) to start my resolutions, but just like with repentence, you can wipe your slate clean any day. So I'm starting now. Because (as a Sister Meagan Demers told our ward during a talk many years ago), "today is a good day to start good habits."

1. Don't buy any clothes for myself for a year. Just don't. Why would you do such a thing?! you might be shouting at your computer screen. I'll tell you why--because I don't need them. I don't need to follow trends and I really don't care about them (I'm sure you knew this if you've seen how I dress). I want to save money. I want to gain a better appreciation for what I have. I want to force myself to find new ways to stretch my wardrobe. I want to simplify my life a little. I want to actually follow through with a New Year's Resolution, because truthfully, I can't remember if I ever have before (have followed through, I mean...I pretty much make them every year). Also, Dalin doesn't particularly enjoy when I give him clothes anyway (though he always wears what I buy for him the next day which makes me feel really good) so I may extend this to him as well. Tenley will be the lucky one in the family because I will definitely need to buy her clothes this year, as we have almost none for a one-year old yet! Last, Dalin really liked this idea and (unsurprisingly) agreed to go along with it.

2. Study the scriptures daily. I should be reading God's word daily anyway, but I've been inconsistent pretty much my whole life. I've had stretches where I went for a really long time achieving near perfection of this goal, and then there have been other times where I've seen my copy on the shelf and guiltily looked away intending to read it later, but I want to be steady and sure. I remember when there was a time in high school where the Book of Mormon truly was my favorite book. I learned to love reading it. I'm being perfectly honest here when I say that I love the scriptures, but not as much as I should. I should cherish reading the scriptures above almost any other daily activity, but all too often I look at it as a chore or as just another task I need to complete. I want to, as beloved prophet Gordon B. Hinckley suggested, have "a love affair with the word of God." This reminds me of a story I feel like I should share.

When I was a senior in high school, I applied for a college scholarship from the Cheryl Lynn Walsh Foundation. This was a scholarship based partly on merit and school activities like most, but primarily, it is a scholarship based on kindness. As part of the selection process, we were required to be interviewed by a board of about a dozen or more people. I was incredibly nervous and like everyone else, practiced coming up with answers on the spot to potential questions. I don't remember much about my interview except that I was asked: What is a book that has inspired you? Put on the spot, I think I blushed as I my thoughts first went to Harry Potter (not because it's inspired me but because I love it) and then to a book called Three Cups of Tea which I had been reading recently for my Middle East class. I started to describe Three Cups of Tea to the group, when suddenly the Book of Mormon popped into my head. I am not sure how smoothly I did it, but I told them I want to change my answer and proceeded to tell them how the Book of Mormon has inspired me. In short, I bore my testimony of Jesus Christ and the teachings within the Book of Mormon. I had been given the perfect opportunity to share the gospel in a small way and I am so glad I did not waste it. I found out at Senior Awards Night that I had won the scholarship. I was called up on stage and presented with a huge silver bowl-shaped award (which I have in my hands in the picture below with my grandparents though it's hard to tell). Anyway, the point is, I didn't just say that the Book of Mormon inspired me--it truly has changed my life and made me into the person I am today. And I need to study it continually if I want to really know it.

3. Be the best mom and wife I can be. I am going to try my hardest to have patience with my sweet daughter and my amazingly wonderful husband. I am less perfect than either of them but they are still so patient with me and quick to forgive. I need to follow their examples a little (or a lot!) better. 

4. Pray more. I think I might know just the thing to help me with this. If you haven't heard of this idea, you should try it sometime. You put something small, like a dime or a button, in your shoe and every time you feel it there, it reminds you to pray. It might seem like you're doing a lot of praying at first, but I believe the point of it is to get you to become more prayer-oriented. And when has there ever been such a thing as too much prayer?

5. STUDY MORE, waste less time. These two go hand in hand for me. Undesirables #1 and #2: Facebook and Pinterest. Blogger could potentially make the list as well, but I generally don't consider this a waste of time. Facebook and Pinterest however...I sure love going on them, but I tend to feel more guilty than good about the amount of time I spend on those. So I'm limiting myself. Plus my online classes are suffering as a result of the time spent elsewhere and it's gotten to the point where I've started to not care and that's not good!

6. Save money. My first resolution should contribute to this I would think, but I also want to apply for WIC, and become a smarter grocery shopper. I've gotten better (something about having a frugal husband who hates grocery shopping might have done that for me...) but there is a great deal more I could do. I always say I'm going to start couponing, but all those times were lies I guess because I have yet to do so. (Though, admittedly, I did take the time to clip tons of coupons, just actually using them is the challenge.) I told Dalin about this resolution and told him we need to be more cautious about not buying junk. "Name one thing that falls into that category," he told me. "Hmm, let me think," I said, "Maybe that talking Uncle Si doll from Wal-Mart that someone bought." He gave me a very grinch-like smile because he knew I was right.

7. Focus on thinking well of others. I think I'm pretty good at being nice. I like meeting new people and I don't mind talking to strangers. I look for the good in people and try to give compliments when I admire something about someone. But it is much harder to guard one's thoughts about people. There are things I think to myself that I would never say aloud but then I realize I shouldn't be thinking those things at all. I do my best to remember that everyone is a child of God, but sometimes--okay nearly every time--I get in the car and suddenly everyone is obnoxious and out to annoy me. I am going to do my best to control my thoughts in this area and try to focus on the good. Even when I'm furious at all of the horrible drivers.

What are your resolutions? (Have you started thinking about any yet?)
What do you think about mine? Can you think of any for me to add?

How to Get Rich...

Would you like to know the secret to getting rich? I'll tell you my opinion. I may not be qualified to write this post, as I most certainly am not rich by the world's standard, but I have learned a thing or two about saving money--especially since I've been married. Here are some good tips and changes that are easy to make:

Don't spend more than you earn.
Duh. This seems so obvious, but it is a real challenge for many people who were raised with their parents taking care of everything for them. Keep track of how much you earn and delegate how much of that income will be put toward your basic needs, how much will go into savings, and how much will be left over. This is the most basic budgeting skill and is essential if you truly want to save money. 

Don't go into unnecessary debt. 
Sure school is expensive, but as long as you are saving to pay off school loans, you won't be in debt forever. Make that payment your priority. Save up and pay it off as quick as you can. We are trying to save up to pay Dalin's student loan off by graduation. Fortunately, we have been able to earn scholarships to help us save money. The same advice applies to homes and cars. You may have to settle for less before you can save up for something better. 

Budget. 
If you don't, it's going to be really hard to save money. Limit yourselves to going out once a week. Choose free date alternatives as often as you can. If you are the type who likes to splurge, try this simple solution--don't go out. If you don't want to spend money, don't go to the store. That has helped us save SO much money these last two years. If you love shopping and stopping completely is difficult for you, only carry a tiny bit of cash when you go. Leave your credit or debit cards at home. Pretend you're back in middle school or high school when $20 was all you had. 

Search for deals. 
Paying full price for anything is not very wise. Most things always go on sale at some time or another. Especially with clothing, shoes, and items for the home. If you want to be really thrifty, practice good shopping habits by making lists and searching for coupons or special deals on groceries and home products. Check Groupon and other money-saving sites. You would be surprised at the many ways you can find deals and discounts when you take a few minutes to look. I will admit, I always look for deals when it comes to clothing, but I have not yet gotten into the habit of seeking the best deals while grocery shopping. I attribute this to lack of time, but really it would be worth doing it to save even $15 a grocery trip. Something for me to work on. 

Avoid credit cards. 
I am far from an expert on credit cards, but I do know that everyone mistakenly seems to believe they must have one. Establishing credit is good when the time comes to buy a home or car, but it is not the only way. If you do have a credit card, make monthly payments on time and do not exceed your limit. Dalin and I prefer to use a debit card. We know where the money is coming from (straight from our checking account), and this prevents us from spending an unreasonable amount. Because we are leasing our car, we make monthly payments (ON TIME!) which helps us establish credit. If we need to, we can borrow our parents' credit to get a home when we find ourselves wanting to settle down. The point is, credit cards are okay if you know you can afford to make the payments. 

Save. 
Save, save, save. Put as much money as you can into the bank. Have a stash at home for emergencies. Put money in separate envelopes or jars to go toward specific trips, vacations, or other fun activities. Plan out what you are saving for and a rough estimate of how much you need. I usually find that rounding up when considering how much you think you will need is safer. 

Give. 
I love the quote by Anne Frank: "No one ever became poor by giving [too much]." How true! I also believe that giving to those in need blesses your life and, in turn, you will have more. I would rather be rich in blessings than money any day. 

Pay tithing. 
Heavenly Father gives us everything we have. We are only required to give 10% of it back to him. I would say that's fair. Especially considering the many blessings we receive as reward for our obedience to this simple commandment. It is one of the only commandments we can truly be perfect in.

All of these things combined will help you. Like I said, I am no expert--and I could stand to follow my own advice a little better--but I know that there is nothing better than being self-sufficient and feeling truly free from financial burdens. 

How do you save money? 
What are your best tips that I could use?

Self-Motivation...Not Super Effective

Umm, beautiful right? I love Provo in Springtime. It's the best time to be here.

Some days you just need to sleep in, relax, and enjoy a delicious pink Otter Pop.

Especially after hosting a humongous dance party that lasted until after midnight. I definitely enjoyed hosting those events in the past, but it has just gotten to the point where I am just done. I am pregnant, less balanced, and more tired. Yesterday's turnout was really great though. The dance was huge. I was really grateful for the help of the two new RA couple's at King Henry. They are awesome.

Dalin had to work today which is lame, but hopefully we will have all of tomorrow to be together. I am getting so excited for Mother's Day. I wish I had been able to do more for my own mother. I ordered her something kind of cool and unique on Etsy and had it sent to the house. She reads my blog, so obviously I can't talk about it anymore now, but I think it's cool and I wanted it for myself. The gift I got for my wonderful mother-in-law also came from Etsy. It's supposed to be here today...hopefully it is since Dalin's parents will be in town on Monday!!!!

Anyway, my mom sent me a package for Mother's Day and Dalin ordered something from Amazon so I am excited for tomorrow!

Now what I really ought to be doing....

• Reading some British literature for my Independent Study classes (which I kind of hate right now)
• Doing anything at all for Independent Study (which I stink at doing)
• Organizing the baby's room (believe it or not, there are still a few boxes that haven't been touched yet...)
• Taking a nap because I am simply exhausted and baby girl probably is, too. Though I'm not sure why she would be, other than the fact that she's a baby...she gets to ride around everywhere with me without any effort
• Getting the heck off the computer and actually doing something productive like serving someone else. The trouble is, I can barely keep my eyes open.

Well, wish me luck. If I accomplish any two of these things today I'll be proud of myself. 

Happy Saturday!