Why Marriage and Babies Are WORTH IT

I just read two bull crap articles from Huffington post that really angered me. They angered me so much, that I had to reply by blogging because that's just the way I am.

The first was this piece of crap. I mean honestly, I don't know if I've read a more bitter and stupid article with zero merit whatsoever. Then I read this ridiculous thing. It was also bitter and also stupid in my opinion. These two articles epitomize the brand of feminism that I despise. It's the type that discourages women from their ultimate potential as wives and mothers that also portrays women with these roles in a negative light. In addition, they are negative toward men. That just drives me crazy.

Mainly, I am writing to clear up a few things that I was dying to say to the ladies who wrote the articles.

First, they must have had sad, miserable childhoods to grow up so bitter, uncaring, and spiteful toward the two things that are God's greatest gifts to mankind. They were clearly raised with a distorted view of what true womanhood is and I feel sorry for them. Truly sorry, because they have no idea on the happiness they are missing out on. I doubt it was in their nature to believe so wrongly, (in fact, I know it wasn't because every woman is born with a divine nature) but the way they were brought up obviously influenced their views.

Second, not all marriages are miserable and end in divorce. Clearly. There are circumstances that occur in some marriages that no one can predict. I am not justifying divorce, but I am admitting that there are times when it is necessary. For Dalin and I, we determined as boyfriend and girlfriend (even before we became engaged!) that the word divorce would not be in our vocabulary. It's simply not an option. That is how you must go into marriage if you want it to last. It reminds me of that ecard I've seen on Pinterest--this one:

I find it ironic that the same people who declare marriage should be available for everyone would at the same time mention that most marriages end in divorce. While it is unfortunately a fact that approximately half of marriages fail in present day, I have to ask, if so many marriages result in separation or divorce, then why fight so hard for it at all? Why fight for any couple of humans to be able to marry if it might just be a waste of time? The answer is because marriage is important. Whether you believe it is intended for one man and one woman as I do or whether you believe it is for any two humans, it is inherently important to the human race. Marriage is sacred, which is why it must be honored and defended.

The one--ONE--thing I agreed with the second writer on was that far too much money is spent on weddings. To each his own, but we spent very little on our wedding. My aunt made my wedding cake for me. Another aunt arranged my flowers and made the bouquets and boutonnieres. An aunt and uncle photographed everything for me. My mom got a deal on our reception place. Instead of doing a full dinner, we did a variety of fruit, cheese, crackers, punch. My mom talked the price of my wedding dress down to around $400. Instead of getting a DJ, I put together a playlist for the reception on my laptop which my brother ran for me. My mom had found a ton of mason jars at a yard sale which she cleaned out and filled with ocean sand and added a candle for my tables. She also collected antique bottles from sales for decoration. I loved how simple and inexpensive these were. And after it ended, I had zero regrets. My parents didn't lose a nonexistent fortune, and Dalin and I had money to put toward our rent and things for our home. We were frugal. We didn't spend more than a couple thousand on the wedding, if that. And I loved my wedding. Everything about it. It was easily the happiest day of my life and well worth celebrating. Her point about people divorcing as a result of their wedding is irrelevant. If a couple divorces over that, then they should not have been marrying in the first place. Those people who are in it for the free stuff and for the attention are not marrying for the correct reason. They may blindly believe this to be the case because they are so caught up with plans to celebrate themselves. But those people cannot be lumped in with the rest of us--the ones who are truly committed and don't toss around the term "marriage" like it's a trip through a drive-thru. It's not. It is something intended to be eternal. Not just until death, but forever and ever. That is my testimony of marriage.

Just because I have this view of marriage does not make it a cake walk. It's not easy. Dalin and I argue. We stress over money. We disagree on things like how to raise our children and where we want to end up. But the difference is we do not let those things block our ultimate goal of being a family forever. Nothing brings more happiness than being a part of a loving family. Nothing.

Back to the articles--one writer complains that she had to pay an excessive amount to be a part of three different weddings. (Um, may I point out that she could have said no if she was aware they were going to cost that much, which she must have been after the first one.) She then uses this as an excuse as to why celebrating a wedding is pointless and "brags" how she married with only one witness present and then celebrated her marriage a year later with a $15,000 celebration. Glad she has taught the world the "right" way to do things. Except she is clueless. As mentioned before, I hardly spent anything on my reception. I spent as much on the entire day as some women spend on their wedding dress alone. On our wedding day, our family and friends were celebrating, with us, the day that we made an eternal commitment--a sacred promise--to devote ourselves to God and one another for eternity. To me that's worth celebrating.

What's more, the writer suggests that baby showers are a waste of time as they "send the message that getting pregnant is the pinnacle of achievement, as opposed to the beginning of 18 years of hard labor...ignoring the fact that the endeavor she is embarking on will cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and stunt her career opportunities for the rest of her life, not to mention the devastating impact on her social life." (How obnoxious is this lady? If I didn't feel sorry for her, I'd want to slap her across the face.) Then the other idiot writes, "We have baby showers and wedding parties as if it's a huge accomplishment and cause for celebration to be able to get knocked up or find someone to walk down the aisle with. These aren't accomplishments, they are actually super easy tasks, literally anyone can do them." First, many people--decent people--get pregnant because they want families. Most couples want children because they bring joy. Not everyone is like, "Shoot, we got pregnant and now our lives are over." Most people are excited because having your own children is awesome. What about the couples that struggled to get pregnant? Literally anyone can "get knocked up" so why can't they? Why celebrate their achievement "act" of getting pregnant, perhaps after years of trying? Because it's a miracle. A wonder and a miracle to be able to create life. In addition, I'd like to point out that the point of baby showers, apart from congratulating a couple on successfully making a human, is to help them acquire the things they need to get started. It's not about showing off and getting expensive things for everyone. I didn't get expensive things and I'm not complaining. And does the second woman really think that getting married can be done by "literally anyone"? If that were true, then why are there MILLIONS of people using dating sites to find the one person they want to spend forever with? Probably because many, many people want to get married but have not found someone yet.

I have many more thoughts on these two articles and their cynical-minded writers, but it is 2:30am (way past the time I intended to stay up) and I'm done for the night.

Please share your opinion on these articles with me. Or on my thoughts. Vent to me if you like. I'll respond--I'm a good venter as you may have noticed ;)

iWant

I'm not particularly in the mood to write a long, interesting post, but I need to distract myself from wanting to meet (so badly) this sweet little girl inside me. So I thought I would share what I want for the future of the little Gunnell family:

First off, I want more kids. Our first isn't quite here but already I feel more excited to become a mom than anything. I have wanted to be a mother all my life and I am so thankful that I will be able to start this exciting and fun journey with Dalin really soon (I hope!!). I bet many of you are thinking, isn't it a little premature to be thinking about baby #2 already? I don't feel like it is. Anyone who grew up with me knows I have always wanted a larger family (six or seven children to be more specific), and if I am to achieve that goal I need to get a move on! ;) But seriously, I am extremely grateful for how easy I have had it so far. My pregnancy has been long but wonderful. Particularly when I hear about the experiences of other women, I realize I have nothing to complain about. I am so looking forward to giving birth. In Spanish, the phrase for "giving birth" is dar a luz. I love that because directly translated it means, "to give a light." Children of Heavenly Father are lights when they come to this earth and I cannot wait to meet our sweet little daughter of God. 

Second, I want our daughter (and our other children, too) to learn Spanish. I am not sure why this is so important to me, but it always has been. I really want my children to be bilingual so that they might have many options available to them in the future. I'm not too concerned about her learning English. I am sure I will speak to her in English more often than I would like and everyone around her will be speaking English, too. The thing is, I love Spanish, and my latin friends tell me I'm pretty good at speaking it... But I certainly am not fluent. Dalin knows Spanish from his mission in San Diego and I've been informed by several of his mission friends that he is amazing at it. So together we should be able to be successful, right? It obviously isn't my first language and it will be a challenge to tell myself to speak to her in Spanish, but it is important to me that my children learn as much as they can.

Third, I want to organize our home--on several levels. I want our home to be a place of peace and welcoming. I want others to feel the Spirit when they enter our home. I want it to be clean and organized, and I want to de-clutter our lives and learn to focus on establishing gospel principles in our home. Hopefully we can take President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's words to heart: "It is good advice to slow down a little, steady the course, and focus on the essentials." As Elder Dallin H. Oaks once taught, "We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families." The gospel is our priority. Returning to our Father in Heaven is our ultimate goal. I want to be with my family forever.

Fourth, I want to save for our future home. I am not positive where our family will end up, (though I have some ideas) but I know that I want a humble home that I feel I can maintain and work on and beautify. I want to have a modest-sized home (despite our supposedly large family) because I want to be able to afford to do things. I want to travel with Dalin and our children. I want to be able to visit family whenever we want. I want to be able to bring our kids to places and teach them to value experiences and lessons over possessions. I would much rather go places as a family than have lots of things. I love Elder Dallin H. Oaks' quote: "In choosing how we spend time as a family, we should be careful not to exhaust our available time on things that are merely good and leave little time for that which is better or best." Quality family time is much more important than having a lot of new things. "The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives." (Elder Oaks). 

Fifth, I want to finish school and work toward developing a part-time career that I can do in our home with my children. I think it is important that I contribute to our income in whatever way possible, though my first priority is raising our children in the gospel. Whether I contribute by selling my artwork, teaching art classes, writing a fantastic blog (ha ha), or editing or even writing books (like I ultimately would like to), I want to feel as though I am helping our family in that small way. I enjoy doing projects and creating things and I hope I will be able to cultivate those talents and interests in my children's own lives. 

Sixth, I want to raise our children with a firm foundation in the gospel of Jesus Christ. They will have their agency and they may choose to take a route that strays from our faith, but I hope by establishing a good base, they will ultimately choose for themselves the way of the gospel. I know it brings the truest happiness and is the only means by which we can live with our families forever.

What are your family or personal goals? 

Reflection on Jealousy

Sometimes, it's hard for me not to be jealous of what others have. I guess I'm a human...but seriously, when I hear about other couples going on amazing trips or adventures, I get a little bit frustrated. Don't get me wrong, I love our life together as we are both working hard to save for the future right now, but sometimes it just feels like everyone is having fun except for us. I know that this is not true and that we are doing the most important thing we possibly could be doing by preparing for the beginning of our eternal family, but it is not always easy. 

I just need to remind myself of our many blessings. First off, we are living independently. We don't rely on the support of our parents or the government (not because we don't want to, we just don't) and we are doing completely fine. We can afford our lifestyle because we don't spend money on frivolous things. We save and only splurge on rare occasions. We are saving for our family, our future, and for those many trips and vacations we feel like we're missing out on right now. The fact is, we are extremely blessed. I am thankful that we are both frugal and that we both know how to manage and save money. We are not rich by the world's standards, but we are extremely wealthy in blessings. Everyday I am so grateful that we can afford such a great, clean, reliable car. We had so many problems with our last two vehicles that it's a huge relief to have one that functions without needing constant attention. I am grateful for our apartment because, as much as I want a home, it is helping me appreciate how wonderful home ownership will be. It is also a place where we began our journey as a newly wed couple and where our family will start. And those reasons alone make it special. Sure I would love a dishwasher, our own washer and dryer, and A/C unit (particularly while I'm pregnant this summer...). But someday we will have those things, and it will be that much sweeter because we did without. And survived. 

Thomas S. Monson reminds us: 

"May I assure you that there is no shame in a couple having to scrimp and save. It is generally during these challenging times that you will grow closer together as you learn to sacrifice and to make difficult decisions."

I am so thankful for the life that we have! And so thankful to our parents who taught us excellent principles to live by.

Have you felt the same way I do?
What do you do to save money?
Do you try to live in the moment or plan for the future?

On a different note, my best friend since 4th grade, Sarah Morgan Ayer--who is currently Hermana Ayer as she is serving a mission in Ecuador (Guayaquil South fyi)--emailed me today telling me her mission president gave her permission to write whomever she wants!!!!!! Woohoo!!!!! I sent her one letter via pouch mail (which goes through the MTC) a few months ago but it took a year to get to her basically, and she sent me a letter in the meantime in which I had pretty much already answered all her questions. So I haven't written her again since in case she thought I'd sent that letter after she wrote me and wrote me again--I didn't want us to be off track the entire time she's gone. But now that's not an issue! I'm so excited!!!!! Especially because my other best friend since middle school, Megan Louise Wernig, is currently on a study abroad in Italy and also pretty much impossible to contact so it's been kind of lonely at times when I need a friend who isn't my sweet husband or my awesome mom. 

One friend teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ in Ecuador, one friend learning about amazing historic art and literature in Italy, and one friend in Provo preparing to have a baby. We are living the life ;)

I can't wait until the three of us are reunited!

Sister Frances B. Monson: Home-Maker Supreme

Until today, I knew very little about the wife of our beloved prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Upon learning that she passed away today at the age of 85, I immediately felt sad for President Monson and his children. I proceeded to look up Frances Monson and read about her life. I love reading the life stories of others, and particularly of those who were raised in a different, and well (what I consider), a better time. I have learned so much about what a wonderful example of Christ-like love and service Frances was, as well as how delightful a mother and friend she proved to be. 

She studied hard in school and excelled in math and science. After marrying Thomas, the couple had three children and quite the variety of family pets. She practiced good bookkeeping and budgeting, applying Church principles of thrift and self-reliance. She was an excellent bargain shopper. Whenever there were things to fix or assemble in the home, Frances was the one to do it. She served well in the Church and supported her husband in every calling he was given. About this, her husband says, “But never once has she complained. Never once. Not in our entire married life has she done anything to keep me from any aspect of my service. I have never received anything but support and encouragement from Frances.” She was hardworking both in and out of the home and enjoyed serving others. She took care of her mother for many years. She lived with a sense of humor that brought her family joy. "She also delighted in being a mother, continually teaching her children the importance of sacrifice and serving the Lord." She "radiated patience and compassion when serving others" (Church Newsroom).

“My mother is unlike many of the women of today’s generation. Instead of looking for the recognition of the world, she has always received her acknowledgment of worth from such things as the happy smile of a son or the outstretched hand of a grandchild. President Wilford Woodruff once said that the mother has greater influence over her posterity than any other person can have, and her influence is felt through time and eternity. I am grateful to my mother, thankful for her influence and pray that I might always be worthy of her love. As I reflect upon the many blessings which I have received as the daughter of an apostle of the Lord, the one which means the most to me is the gift and blessing of the woman he married, my mother.” 

~Ann Monson Dibb

Such a beautiful woman.

Frances with her husband, Thomas, and three children.

What a happy couple they are! So sweet.

 

So much tender love and happiness in this photo of the two.

If you are interested in learning more about this terrific woman, read this article from the Church newsroom. 
You can also read this excellent article from lds.org about the Monson's wonderful marriage and life together, entitled "I Knew I'd Found the Right One."

Because of who she was during her life, I am confident that Frances Monson's reunion with her husband will be a very joyful one. I would be filled with happiness to know I would be remembered in the way that she will be.

Have you ever met Sister Monson? What stood out to you about her? What principles from her life are you trying to develop in your own home?

Light

Sometimes I think, "What is the point of having a blog?" It takes up a lot of time, adds a little bit of stress to my life when I can't think of something to say or when I realize I haven't posted in forever, and truthfully--not that many people read it (it tells me that...embarrassing!).

But sometimes I genuinely enjoy writing about a topic that I want to discuss. I want people to know how I feel on certain issues because that's just how I was raised. I'm somewhat outspoken and I like to share what I think. It doesn't bother me if people know a little too much about my life--I just want to be honest. I want everyone to know that I am okay with being "weird" or "different" (which comes naturally when you're a Latter-day Saint I think...). 

One of my friend's dads in high school told me that he thought I was so great because I am "so down to earth." I seriously did not even fully understand what that meant until I got older, but I assumed it was a compliment. Now I see what he means. I am pretty down to earth. I try to be positive and happy (and for the most part I am), but I have also matured enough that I can be realistic and recognize that I probably will not make a difference in more than a few people's lives. I am aware of the impact I had in high school as one of very few Latter-day Saints (less than ten throughout my four years there) and remember being told, "Olivia, you are so happy." Another asked me, "Olivia, why are you so happy all the time? And why are you so nice to everyone?" I don't know if they knew why there was such a noticeable difference in me then, but I know now that it was the light that is in everyone who knows and tries to live the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is truly amazing that we can see the happiness in others just by the light they emit from their eyes. 

I love this quote by Elder Eyring in our church, who explains what that light is:

"Every child of Heavenly Father born in the world is given at birth, as a free gift, the Light of Christ. You have felt that. It is the sense of what is right and what is wrong and what is true and what is false. That has been with you since your journey in life began." 

~Henry B. Eyring

I also love this one by Roald Dahl, (who is not LDS) as he recognizes that kindness and goodness make a person attractive more than anything else:

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

~Roald Dahl

I believe it is important that we be the type of people that radiate light. No matter what you believe, if you are standing for something that you instinctually know is inherently good, then go for it. I know my daughter will be a light in my life and I hope that I, as her mother, can teach her to recognize good from evil as she is raised in a world that is so much more wicked than the one in which I was born.

So I guess, my thought for today is shine the light. Everyone has a light. Channel yours and brighten it.

Also! I dare you to watch this quick video...and I dare you not to cry (it's a happy cry):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aup9M5HZawI

Pay attention to how you feel.

My Little Stand for the Family

Well you all know me and how very conservative the majority of my views are. This time around, I will admit, I was intending to stay completely clear of the recent discussions on marriage--not because I do not have a valid opinion to defend, but because I wanted to preserve the peace. But something about marriage just causes my heart to burn with emotion and I feel so strongly that it needs to be defended. Maybe it's because as a Latter-day Saint (or, Mormon), my beliefs are frequently mocked and trodden on. Maybe it's because I am stubborn and have to get a word in when I feel passionately about something. Either way, here I am, putting my "two cents" in. I will boldly say though, that I know the following things are worth so much more eternally than a mere two pennies.

The words I want to share are not my own, but I felt they were written so beautifully and articulately that I wanted to quote them. Because the first woman's comments are in response to words of others, there may be a little confusion which I will clear up if necessary.

I have never met these women and do not know anything about either of them except that we share the same views in regards to marriage. Disagree with us if you would like, but I will simply (and as politely as I can) reply with a defense of our belief that marriage is sacred, and ordained of God for one man and one woman. 

Written by Aly R. Taylor:

I do believe my entire world and life will change if gay marriage passes and that within 20 years our entire society will look more different than imaginable. I also know that it will affect my children and their children, for the worse...I also believe that divorce rates will go up if people do not appreciate the sanctity of marriage. Marriage is an important institution that makes our society better for many reasons, including an increase in stability which is better for the economy, and raising good children. Take a look at this article for an interesting opinion from someone who is a libertarian and not pro/against marriage but describes that in all likelihood it will make a change our life as we know it: 

[This is a very interesting read if you have the time to get through it]
 http://fireflydove.wordpress.com/2009/10/12/a-libertarian-view-of-gay-marriage/

Divorce rates would easily go up to 80% plus within 10 years if we keep ignoring the importance and sanctity of marriage, and our society will be worse off. From my experience divorce often creates unhappy or bitter people and broken families. That is but one of my 100 concerns with gay marriage.

It saddens me that very few people think of consequences to their actions nowadays. But you are right -----, it is a choice and hopefully my children will have such a burning desire and love for God that they will choose to follow him over any carnal desire.

Everyone is so concerned with making "history" that they don't think through the actual impact and the eternal perspective. I believe in eternity, and don't understand individuals who can say they follow Christ and go directly against his Word. To love Christ is to follow him. I love my fellow man, but that love for them and for God is what drives me to help his cause. It's like if you knew someone was about to commit murder, wouldn't you do what you can to stop them from committing this sin? Why would you not help your fellow man and do what you can to help them find eternal happiness versus worldly temporary happiness?

Written by Annie Z. Edwards: 

It doesn't have anything to do with sin or feelings. I have no problem with gays having a union and any and all tax or whatever benefits heterosexual couples have. But the sacrament of marriage is partially for pro-creation which physically can only be done one way. I feel there should be equal and separate benefits for gay couples and their unions but disagree with changing the definition if marriage. And having my own opinion on the subject while respecting your right to have yours does not make me intolerant. 

This link conveys the reasoning behind my belief that children thrive best in a home with one faithful father and mother. It is so worth your time! It was created by Erika Bahr. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNahtS4XJ8E&feature=youtu.be 

“Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.” ~Rachel Jankovic

If you are wondering what we as Latter-day Saints (or Mormons) believe in, this article called "The Divine Institution of Marriage" is put out by leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and leaves no question as to what members of the Church believe in.
http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/the-divine-institution-of-marriage 

Here is a video about it if you prefer that: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsR9HPhsjJ4

This beautiful document, entitled "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," additionally conveys my personal belief in the sanctity of marriage and the family order:  https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation

There is more to say and more things I could express, but for now, I would like to leave this post as it is and ask you to respectfully keep your differing beliefs to yourself unless you have a question or comment that in no way needs to be censored. Otherwise, I thankfully still have the right to monitor what is said here and I will utilize that right. 

I appreciate your tolerance of (and patience with) my beliefs. Once you have read everything on this page, I invite you to share your beliefs--but only once you fully understand where I come from. 

If you desire, here is a link from a Christian woman whom I am not acquainted with, but I appreciated her thoughts on children and the family, shared here: http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/motherhood-is-a-calling-and-where-your-children-rank

"The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home."

~Confucius 

"The family is the first essential cell of human society."

~Pope John XXIII

"Science has established two facts meaningful for human welfare: first, the foundation of the structure of human personality is laid down in early childhood; and second, the chief engineer in charge of this construction is the family."

~Meyer Francis Nimkoff

"The family is the cornerstone of our society. More than any other force it shapes the attitude, the hopes, the ambitions, and the values of the child. And when the family collapses, it is the children that are usually damaged. When it happens on a massive scale, the community itself is crippled. So, unless we work to strengthen the family, to create conditions under which most parents will stay together, all the rest--schools, playgrounds, public assistance, and private concern--will never be enough."

~Lyndon B. Johnson 

"The important thing is the family. If you can keep the family together--and that's the backbone of our whole business, catering to families--that's what we hope to do."

~Walt Disney

"If a country is to be corruption-free and become a nation of beautiful minds, I strongly feel there are three key societal members who make a difference. They are the father, the mother, and the Teacher."

~Abdul Kalam

The Best Grandpa Ever

Everyone believes that their grandpa is the best. But my Grandpa French has truly been the most wonderful grandfather a girl could ask for. I love him so much.

My Grandpa: Charles B. French

On the old boat...going for a trip on Lake Winnipesaukee with Grandpa!

Grandpa French always has been my favorite grandfather. He is the only one I've really known but he was always my favorite. He alone has taught me more than I think anyone else has. Because of him, not only am I blessed with the ability to draw well, but I excel in English and science. He used to draw animals in pencil and have us try to copy them. He has a high appreciation for artwork and always displays our sketches on his very busy fridge. He has taught me a lot about our family history, particularly concerning our relation to the famous oil painter, Frank French, and to famous sculptor Daniel Chester French, who carved a number of statues in Boston area as well as the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C.

The Minuteman Statue...carved by my relative, Daniel Chester French

Daniel Chester French's memorial which we visited. 1850-1931

On Grandpa's back porch

In Grandpa French's old van...ready to go fishing!!

I am tremendously interested in my heritage and family history because of the things Grandpa has taught me. Grandpa French is also a wonderful example of a follower of Jesus Christ. He has a Christ-like love for his family and for those around him. He lives with integrity and has taught me the value of hard work. Even though I did not always enjoy it at the time, some of my favorite memories are working around his yard and home with him. I remember raking leaves in the fall with Payson and Grandpa and sometimes my parents. We helped him with gardening, weeding, trimming plants, cutting the grass, and all kinds of other outdoor chores. Doing these things each year helped increase my love for nature and the outdoors. It also increased my love for his beautiful home and property. 

A shot I took of Grandpa's yard once

I want to own it someday because it is such a wonderfully secluded area with all kinds of natural beauty. We used to catch frogs in the brook and throw rocks into it. 

One side of the brook at Grandpa'

We used to try to build tree houses in the trees in yard. In the winter we would wander through the woods following deer tracks and looking for animals. We learned so much about different animal species from Grandpa. Most years he kept chickens in a shed by the garden and then eventually in an old bob-house. I loved when he would take me to Agway with him and we would get to pick out the little chicks that he would bring home and raise. I remember when I was very little, we were out feeding the chickens in the back yard and one of them came over and pecked my finger and made it bleed. I was a little bit afraid of them after that, at least when they came after me. But Grandpa taught me a lot about chickens--their anatomy, as well as about their eggs. Collecting the eggs was the best part about him having the chickens, except the smell of their nests was absolutely terrible. But we would bring the eggs into Grandpa and sometimes he would make fresh scrambled eggs with them right away.

Another picture of Grandpa's front yard...so green and beautiful

Grandpa French, fishing on a dock on Lake Winnipesaukee

Payson, fishing with Grandpa

Another fishing trip with Grandpa!

Checking out the fish we caught with Grandpa!

Donovan and Grandpa's catches

The best!!!!

Grandpa's house always seemed to have a lot of animals growing up. There were a few cats (most were Andy's) like the gray tabby, Schwarzenegger, and the shy black cat, Tivy. They also had Sandy, short for Sandrietta, the nicest golden retriever there ever was. She was such a good, mellow dog and we were so sad when she died. I remember when Grandpa had us help him give her baths in a silver tub in the backyard. If I remember correctly, she didn't really enjoy those. At various times, Grandpa also had snakes, lizards, iguanas, rats, and mice living in big tanks at his house. We thought it was really cool that he had had so many types of pets. Grandpa also had plenty of squirrels living close to the house. He was always very nice to them and instead of poisoning or killing them, he would trap the squirrels in metal cages and then drive them some miles away and set them free. 

This pretty golden retriever looks pretty close to what Sandy looked like

Birds on the line (female cardinal and sparrow)

Grandpa French also loves birds. He has lots of bird-feeders on his porch and every season, he has a huge variety of birds that visit right by the kitchen window. Some of the best ones are hummingbirds, cardinals, bluejays, purple finches, gold finches, robins, and chickadees. I learned a lot about these different bird species from Grandpa French, who owns several bird guides. Speaking of books, Grandpa French is a collector of both books and antiques. I love antiques and books because of him. He owns such a vast collection of great books that it has made me want to have a library in my future home one day. Like him, I love reading because I love learning new things. I want to acquire as much knowledge as possible before I leave this earth because I know it is one of the few precious things that I will be able to take with me into the next life. Like I mentioned, I also collect antiques because of Grandpa. I particularly liked colored glass bottles and antique furniture because I like to consider their story. I always wonder about who used them and whose homes they have been in. 

Grandpa's mantle. Lots of antiques!

Grandpa brought us to a lot of antique stores where he both bought and sold items. My favorite one was Bertha Mae's (or B. Mae's) where he had several stations with great books and other things for sale. To this day, I love browsing through antique stores because they contain so many beautiful things from the past with hundreds of stories, which is so interesting and incredible to me. I love the smell of antiques, too. Across from B. Mae's is a long-running restaurant called Sawyer's. Grandpa and Nana brought us there for onion rings, BLTs, lobster rolls, and ice cream quite often in the summer. We had a lot of good conversations there.

Sitting across from Nana and Grandpa at Sawyer's

I love when Grandpa takes my brothers and me fishing on the lake in his boat or to a nice, quiet pond or river. I love fishing so much because of him. I thought it was so cool that I knew how to clean a fish properly and all about its body parts. I love eating fish because of Grandpa, and I learned that the tail, when fried, is the most sought-after part. I love water and being near it. Not only is it peaceful, but I now know so much about the different ecosystems that I find joy in studying and observing it. I love when Grandpa takes us birdwatching and we bring picnic lunches that Nana makes for us. I remember him teaching me about the flight patterns of different birds and learning about their vast range of wingspans. Hiking with him is always so interesting; we learn so much from him just by talking and asking questions. I love when he would go on field trips with us to fun science places for school. I was always so proud that everyone knew my grandpa and wanted him to come with us. (I think that helped the teachers to like me more, too, since they would always ask incredulously, "Chuck French is your grandpa?") When we were little, we went caterpillar hunting in the milkweed patches around the middle and high school. I used to think caterpillars were so gross except the distinctly unique monarch caterpillars because those are the ones we would collect and keep in jars so we could watch as they changed into a cocoon and then a butterfly.

Monarch caterpillars...the only type of caterpillar I would want to get near

When we were even littler, Grandpa used to gather all of the cousins in the living room at nighttime and turn out the lights except for a few candles and we would all go on a "lion hunt" together. He would tell us a story about us walking through the woods and being on the lookout for bears and lions. It was such a fun activity when we were young. He would make sound effects and make sure we weren't too scared. I loved when he did those special stories with us. He also told the grandkids stories about our parents growing up. I liked hearing about the time he and the girls were chased by a bear while fishing. And when poor Carolyn (or was it Dianne?) got caught by the hook while fly fishing. He has a lot of great memories. I remember snowshoeing with my class up a mountain to do a fire building contest and I already knew how to build the perfect fire because of my grandpa. (Plus we had practiced beforehand ;). Having bonfires in his backyard in the winter was the best. He would let us help him build the fire and we would all collect lots of tinder and firewood together. Then Grandpa would find some living branches (we could tell because they were green inside) and carve a marshmallow or hotdog-roasting stick for us with his pocketknife. I always loved how he used his pocketknife to carve sticks, cut up apples, clean fish, and a number of other things. He is the reason I always keep a little army knife handy. I always liked when we were sitting by the fire and he would put one foot up on his knee and use the side of his hiking boot as a make-shift plate. I still think that is such a great idea. We would sit on logs and plastic chairs around the fire--all of the cousins and aunt and uncles--and talk and tell stories as we roasted hotdogs and marshmallows. When it was too cold, we would get the fireplace going and roast marshmallows in the living room. Also in the winter, Grandpa would bring us ice fishing, which was fun but a little bit scary (I was always afraid of falling through the ice). We would also go sledding down the steep hill on the side of the house. All of the cousins would take turns and sled all the way to the driveway. We also built huge snow forts in the driveway. They were so big that our moms were worried they would collapse on us. But they were awesome and we loved going to Grandpa's house because it gave us an opportunity to be together and play.

At my high school awards night the day before graduation

After graduation at Meadowbrook!

Grandpa also took us star-gazing during the summer. We would drive to a scenic overlook off the freeway and park our cars and sit in camp chairs with blankets. We especially liked to do this when we knew a comet would be going by. While we sat there, we drank hot chocolate and Grandpa taught us about the constellations like the Big and Little Dipper, Orion, and others. We loved star-gazing with Grandpa French. Sleepovers at Grandpa and Nana's were both extremely exciting and kind of scary. We would sleep on the pull-out couch in the living room and were always frightened that someone would look into the dark windows on the back porch and kidnap us. Luckily, Grandpa always left a little light on over the kitchen sink and then there was Nana's fish tank which gave off a blue glow. The fish were a lot of fun for us to look at and to feed. Grandpa and Nana always bought a variety of fishes but my favorites were the little fluorescent ones that glowed blue and red. Grandpa had an old gumball machine in his living room that took pennies. He used to joke that that was his savings. Of course, he also had a jar of pennies nearby for us to load into the machine. We had a lot of bubblegum blowing contests. Grandpa taught us a lot of cool and random things, too. He and Nana have a vase with peacock feathers in it and he taught us how to balance the long feathers on our fingers by staring at one spot on the feather. He also taught us how to see images in the "Magic Eye" 3-D illusion books. It took a while, but it was something that we never forgot how to do once we learned it. Grandpa also loves sports. In particular, he loves baseball. He owns lots of catcher's mitts and he would play catch with Payson and me on the front lawn during the spring. We both got pretty great at catching because of all our practice. We both played baseball and softball in elementary school (that is, until I got hit in the mouth with a softball and had to have a root canal on my front tooth...since then I've been less fond of the game) because of Grandpa. He always goes to all of the cousin's games. He came to my tennis matches throughout middle school and high school, as well as soccer games and cross country meets. He is hugely supportive of all of us, no matter what we choose to do.

Grandpa is always teaching us. We used to play the card game "Memory" when we were little and match up the pictures. Our favorite set was the one with Disney characters. He and Nana always play lots of games with us. They are always willing to play Sequence, Yahtzee, and many card games including several ones that they cleverly made up. Because we have always lived in the same town as him, he has played a huge role in my growing up. I loved the year that we went to his house for breakfast every day after early-morning seminary. He always makes the very best scrambled eggs, French toast (because it is named after our family of course ;), pancakes, lady fingers, and my most favorite--crispy bacon. That is the only way I eat bacon now. Even though I don't drink coffee, I love the smell of it because it reminds me of Grandpa and Nana French's kitchen. 

Card games at Andy and Molly's house

Playing poker at camp :)

Family time at the cabin

Food for all of us!!

Grandpa and Nana have been the best at keeping our family close together. My favorite memories are the weekends we stayed in a family cabin around Easter. We played family games like homemade Survivor and indoor mini-golf and we celebrated lots of birthdays together. We had a huge Easter egg hunt and all of the cousins slept in a room together. As the family grew, Grandpa and Nana found a bigger camp for us to stay in and we filled more and more rooms. Grandpa of course took the grandkids fishing and canoeing, and we played badminton and volleyball as a family. For Nana and Grandpa's 50th anniversary, we tried out a new campsite in Maine where we surprised them with a big celebration. We played "kick the can" at night and set off fireworks. We always have the best time when the whole family gets together because of the way Grandpa and Nana raised their children. I love how tough our family is and how none of us mind roughing it for a few days for the benefit of being together as a family. 

Pam and Bob's wedding day! I love Grandpa's smile here :)

The whole family (minus Dalin :/ I didn't know him yet )

These are all things I WILL teach and do with my own children as they grow up. I feel so blessed to have had such an advantage over my classmates because I had a grandpa who taught me everything first. I am going to make sure that my children know that I learned all of these things from my Grandpa French who was a 7th grade science teacher and a vice principal. He is always teaching others. I am trying to follow in his footsteps by taking lots of pictures to record family memories and making amazing breakfasts every day (though I still need to work on this one...maybe when I have kids I'll get better at it). I can't wait to bring my children fishing and camping, and have bonfires and go boating on the lake. I can't wait to teach them about nature and different plants and types of animals. Most of all, I can't wait to instill in them a love for family like my grandfather has in me. He is the most influential person in my life and I am so filled with gratitude to my Heavenly Father for letting me be a part of his family on this earth. I know that everyone probably feels this way, but I know the truth--I am Grandpa French's favorite grandchild. I love him so much that it upsets me to think of being without him for a long period of time, but I know I will see him again no matter what and that we will all have a great reunion one day with all of our family members. I am thankful that he has been involved in the major part of my life as I grew up and I am continually trying to live like him. He really is the best grandpa out there. If you don't believe me, you should re-read this. ;)

My wonderful, wonderful family