Comparison is the Thief of Joy: So STOP IT, Moms

Listen ladies.

I don't really want this to end up being some long post but we'll see how it goes.

I just want to say (at the top of my lungs), STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS. Sigh.

If only it were as easy as flipping off a switch in yourself. But unfortunately it isn't. I'm sure it takes practice. I am not perfect at this. And maybe it's just in my personality or DNA not to care what others think about me, but I've been getting good at it. Hence all my controversial posts that my good friend Anonymous likes to comment on and scold me for in front of the universe (well, the universe of my readers, which is quite small).

But really, you want to know something that bothers me? (If you don't, exit out of this tab now because here it comes...) Moms that compare themselves. Women in general that compare themselves. And people wonder why I wished for mostly sons...girl drama is insane! And utterly pointless. It seems like the whole world of girls is about competition. And it is, in a word, ANNOYING. I feel like the older lady in She's The Man who finds the girls fighting in the bathroom and says, "LADIES! STOP! Please!" If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch the last 40 seconds of this clip.

But back to what I was saying--why oh why do so many moms waste time comparing themselves to other moms? I don't get it. Recently I've read so many blog posts about moms that feel embarrassed about their ragamuffin children when they see other perfectly groomed children out in public. They are annoyed or even angry at the moms that attempt the fun-looking Pinterest mommy projects. They think those moms always have perfect homes with perfect children. I'll tell you why this bothers me--because I want to be one of those moms. I LIKE cleaning and organization. I LIKE doing arts and crafts and making cute things for my husband and children. I WANT to be the best mom I can be and what's so wrong with that? My house isn't clean right now. If downloading photos on my computer didn't take so long, I'd show you the dishes in my sink, the clutter on our kitchen table and living room floor, the clothes on our bed, and the disaster area that is currently Tenley's room. But who cares about my efforts? What about your own! If you are trying in your own personal way to be the best mom you can be then you are succeeding! I hope I am not the first one to shout those words at you.

Here's what I want. To stop feeling guilt when I read about these "real" moms who have imperfect and chaotic lives. Maybe my life is that way, too. Maybe everyone's is. Maybe I don't brag about every time my daughter has a fit or a bad day. Maybe I focus on the good because to me, that's what matters. If I posted or blogged about all the crappy days I've had, or the times Tenley has freaked out, or the number of mistakes and messes I've made, I'd be angry and depressed all the time. As it is, I already get stressed when I think about the many things I need to do.

I need to pick up. 

I need to wash those dishes. 

But first I need to put away the dry ones. 

I need to make dinner (like RIGHT now)

I need to finish putting Dalin's shirts away. 

I need to work on my English classes. 

I need to finish a painting for a friend. 

I need to read my scriptures.

I need to stop going on Facebook and Pinterest and Yahoo and Gmail and whatever else I do to kill time. 

I need to feed Tenley. 

I need to shower. 

I need to figure out when Tenley's six month appointment is and whether I've scheduled it already or not. 

I need to be positive when my husband gets home and ask him about his day and let him know how much I love and missed him because I am his wife and I want to support him and uplift him. 

I don't think I need to go on.

Do you see what I'm saying though? Is it okay that some women (me included) feel the need/desire/whatever to brag about their accomplishments as a mom? Yes. Does it affect you? No. Does it matter that I tried (and failed miserably) to make homemade rice cereal for Tenley today? No. Does it matter that Tenley is asleep in our bed right now in nothing but a diaper? No. Does it matter that I don't know what I'm doing as a mother? No. It doesn't. I know I am trying my best. I don't care if you give your child fast food every single day. I wouldn't advise it, but it's not my choice. I don't care if you never do your child's hair. I don't have a sister. I never had anyone to practice doing hair on. So when Tenley gets hair long enough to style, I plan on trying it out. Maybe I will be horrible at it (I can't even french braid my own hair) or maybe she will look darling. But it doesn't help when there are other moms or women out there looking at my child and thinking to themselves, "Wow, what a showoff" or "I'm such a bad mom for not doing my own kid's hair." I'll say it again, it DOESN'T help. Do you really TRULY believe that that is a mom's intention? If it is, that is their own issue. But the beauty of it is it's none of your business.

Please. Stop comparing your mothering skills. Everyone is a learning to be a mom. Even on your fifth, sixth, or tenth child, you are still learning. No one is out to get you. Be happy for someone else. Compliment their efforts. Maybe they need the approval or encouragement. If you are one of the "comparerers" then ask yourself who is better off? You, who chooses to feel guilty when you see another woman's good deed or accomplishment? Or her, who is out there actually doing it? If I were guessing, I'd say her.

Be kind. Have compassion. Be understanding. Be positive about your own accomplishments. Most importantly, stop comparing. You'll be happier, I promise.

Now pardon me while I brag about making a delicious dinner at 9:54pm. Because that's what I'm about to do. And after, maybe I'll even put Tenley in pajamas (but probably not).

My Thoughts on Feminism and Why I Don't Support What It Has Become

The essay “Feminist Influences on Mothers in the Home” states that the feminist movement over the last several decades has encouraged women to obtain education and find a career to be successful.  This has caused many women to focus on their work and leave the raising of their children to daycare and others, which has had a detrimental effect upon the traditional family. Feminism is not intentionally out to weaken the family unit. There has been a lot of good accomplished because of the feministic movement. The writer explains how there has been three different periods of helping women to become more respected. The first era was when a group of ladies stood up to have basic equal rights in marriage and not be considered their husband’s property. The second movement happened when women like Susan B. Anthony took a stand that females should have the right to vote being given political equality. These first two feministic movements have been very helpful for women to be more respected in America. However, the modern day feminism has become a bit extreme. Yes, it is good for women to gain an education and develop their talents. But have women gone too far?

I would have to say YES. When I say I don't like feminists, I'm not talking about those who belong in the first two categories. I agree with those women. If that is your personal definition of feminism then by golly, I'm a feminist. But when I refer to feminism and how I can't stand it, I'm talking about the man-haters and the women who intentionally are going over the top in their efforts to become just like men. We aren't men. We are women. If, like me, you believe in Adam and Eve, you believe we came from men. One man--Adam. With his rib, God formed woman. And if, like me, you believe this, then you also believe that women were created as a helpmeet for man. Ugh, don't even bother giving me backlash over use of this term. Look it up. It means "a helpful companion or partner" or "one's husband or wife." Men are created to be husbands. Women were created to be wives. Why so many women seem to take this to mean "servant" or "slave" I have no idea. If you do, I believe that is ignorance on your part. And if you take offense to that, that is your own problem. 

With the views today of feminism more and more women are thinking it is more important to have a career and less important to have children at all. For those who do have children, more mothers are leaving their children in daycare while they are out "fulfilling" themselves through their careers. In many cases, this is tremendous selfishness on the part of women who have a spouse that is able to financially support their family. And it is taking a toll on their children who learn values best when taught by their mothers. If your children aren't learning morals and values from you, then who are they learning them from? Do not misunderstand me--working and providing for a family is good. Earning a living for one's family is better. But staying with one's children, if realistically possible for your family situation, will always be the best choice. It is necessary that some women sacrifice to work in the world. I am so grateful to some of my female teachers growing up. They played an important role in my life. But like every decision, there is always a good, better, and best choice. Maybe the good, better, or best choice for them was to wait until their children were in school to pursue a career during the day. Another thing I need to add also is that everyone has a different "good, better, or best." We are not all at the same places in our lives and it is important that we recognize that one person's good might be another's best. While I can confidently assert that feminism has helped women over the years, I now feel that it is going too far by causing women forget their divine role as a Mother.  

My question is: when will it end? Will it end with shared restrooms? Will it end when women can stand at a urinal and pee like men because it's only "fair"? Will it end when women can waltz around any public place in as little clothing as they want for the sake of "freedom" (wait, they already do that...)? Will it end when children are left to be raised by men alone? Or will there even be any children? Will women think it beneath them to raise families? Or will they just wait until having a child is "convenient" for them after they've had a successful career and are in their late thirties or forties? Which, by the way, will increase the risks of downs syndrome, diabetes, genetic defects, high blood pressure, premature babies, miscarriage, increased stillbirth, labor complications, etc. (See here if you think I'm exaggerating). Will it end when women are competing in sporting competitions alongside men and for the most part losing because, like it or not, women are given different strengths and abilities than men? Or will men be given disadvantages or obstacles to increase the "fairness" of a competition? 

Will it ever end? No. It won't. Because we live in a wicked world that Satan--who is very real by the way--runs. He wants women to ignore their divine roles. He wants women to forfeit their right to motherhood (yes it is a right). He wants our children to be raised without a constant parent in the home. He wants us to dress immodestly and objectify ourselves, further decreasing the respect men have for us in the workplace and in general. He wants the family unit to fall apart. He wants us to be miserable like he is. He wants us to feel as though we are worthless, unappreciated, and smaller than men. He wants us to fail.

But ignore all this and keep doing what you're doing, feminists. Because it really seems to be making the world a better place. 

Post-Partum Weirdness: Reflecting on My First Pregnancy

I have a confession. And it will surely weird some people out. But I want to talk about it, so here it is:

Not only did I love being pregnant, but I loved giving birth. 

K, now feel free to call me odd, but even with four hours of pushing a little human person (with a huge head!) out of a place that does not quite seem big enough to do so, in a very weird--possibly sadistic--way, I enjoyed it. I can already hear some of you: What is she smoking? Well, trust me--I'm not smoking anything and I'd like to think I'm quite sound of mind, but it's true. Hear me out--

I had a very easy first pregnancy. I mean, complaints from previous posts aside, I look back and think, "Geez, that was nothing." And really, they weren't. If occasional discomfort is the trade for growing a little person that can make you happier than you ever dreamed, you'd think so too. I never threw up or had anything out-of-the-ordinary happen, and my doctor basically confirmed each visit that my pregnancy was what the medical world would label completely average. I had all the typical worries of a first-time mom, including (but not limited to) fear of miscarriage, fear of labor, and fear of being a crappy mom--but I got to the point where I realized that worrying did me NO good. Finally, I told myself that whatever is supposed to happen, will happen, and as long as I'm doing the best I can, it'll work out. If my child is supposed to live, she will. Take a deep breath and have faith.

Giving birth was hard. Like, the hardest thing I've ever done. But it felt like a kind of challenge--a good one. Having a baby (like actually giving birth) was, in a weird way, a high for me that I've never experienced before (obviously, but you know what I mean). It was invigorating. My feelings about this weren't instant...but it wasn't very long after having Tenley that I felt energized in an unexpected way. And it wasn't just adrenaline (because that does kick in when one is essentially trying to push a bowling ball out of a gum-ball machine). It was more than that--I felt like I had accomplished my potential as a woman. I did something that fewer than half of people alive today can do. I made a person! Not single-handedly, but let's be honest, I did most of the work in that respect.

I am no feminist, but if I were, I can tell you that more than anything else, having a baby helped me feel the measure of my creation. In other words, I'm glad I'm a woman. I'm glad God chose us to carry and deliver and raise his most precious beings.

And I want to do it again. 

See?? Look how happy I look! Of course this was also right after I'd gotten the epidural, but...

True happiness is holding your new baby.

Being a new mom has been amazing. Tenley has been really easy on me so far. She cries and wakes me up and poops a LOT like every baby, but based on the complaints I hear some mothers making, I have it super easy. My body, at three months post-partum, is almost completely back to what it was before I got pregnant, which I certainly never expected (and which I know is NOT the experience for most women--breastfeeding was the key for me if you're wondering! If you can do it, DO!). I've finally established some form of a normal routine again. But most important of all: I'm happy. She's happy. Husband's happy. Life is good--to put it mildly. And this happiness I've never felt is so great that I want to share it. And feed it. By adding more humans to our family.

And while I'm thinking about it--right here, right now, I'm vowing NOT to look at useless advice on the Internet for child #2. Seriously, 92.5% of what I read was--there's no other way to say it--complete CRAP, at least for me. It didn't apply to me or my situation, and nothing that the millions of ladies on the motherhood/pregnancy chats said, happened to me. My personal situation was unique. If you're a woman, your personal situation will be unique. Or your wife's will be. If and when the time comes, trust your instincts and motherly intuition, and more than anything TRUST GOD. He loves you. He cares about you and your worries. Like this pin says:

Does anyone feel the same way? 

In a weird way did you like giving birth?

Anyone disagree?

My Dream Job

Being a mom is my dream job. I'm serious. And you think you like kids now? Wait until you have your own (it's infinitely better). I love children, but Tenley is a highlight in my every day life now. Her existence alone makes me feel so incredibly happy and grateful that I have been given the opportunity to be her mom. She causes me to love my role as a mother so much that I can't help but look forward to having more babies that I hope are as wonderful (and amazingly easy!!) as their eldest sister has been. Sure it has its challenges like any job--but they are immensely worth it. And though changing diapers and getting spit up or pooped on are never fun, it's definitely better when it's your own child. (Don't worry, you'll learn it's better to laugh about it rather than get upset that it happened.)

Motherhood, like marriage, is sacred. Because of this, like any other sacred topic, it is being attacked in today's world. Motherhood is degraded, looked down upon, and called too great a sacrifice for the modernized women of today. While it is a sacrifice, it is not as many people now believe, one that is not worthwhile. The benefits and blessings are endless. What could possibly be more important than raising a new generation of children that are prepared to tackle every challenge that this increasingly evil world throws at them? I can't think of anything. Those people who constantly complain or preach that the world is messed up and ask the question, "who would want to bring children in it?" have zero perspective. People are going to have children anyway, and it is therefore important that these precious children have loving parents--and especially a devoted mother--to teach and instruct them. I love this inspired talk by our last prophet in these latter days, President Gordon B. Hinckley, called "Your Greatest Challenge, Mother". It really emphasizes the precious nature of a mother's role.

Who wouldn't love to stare at this pretty face all day??

If you look down on motherhood or mothers in any way, stop. Stop it now. Have some gratitude for your own mother and read these quotes by two of our most famous former presidents of the United States of America.

My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.
~George Washington

All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
~Abraham Lincoln

Being a mom is so much fun. If I had known how happy it would make me, I'd have begged Dalin to have children sooner. I can't say I would trade this role for any other job in the world. But if I were capable of being a mother and something else, well, there are a number of things that interest me.

An editor (You should already know all about this one--I love to read and I love to improve people's work--and I would love it if I could read all day!)
A good writer (Writing daily in my journal and frequently on this blog have only served to increase this desire. But being a writer is easy. It's being a good writer that is the hard part)
An artist
An English, Spanish, or Art teacher
A tennis coach
An interior designer 
A movie director

Do any of those surprise you?

I always used to want to be an interior designer until one day in middle school gym class, I remember the class going around in a circle naming off our dream job and like five girls said interior designer, so then I didn't want to do it anymore.

I don't know all that being a movie director entails, but I know that when I am coming up with an idea for a book I'd like to write, I am always imagining the scene as though it were a movie and I think it would be fun to make my own movie (or one that I would want to watch).

What is your dream job and why?  

My Relationship With Your Dad

This post is for Tenley and for our future children who have not yet entered this world. But I can assure you (future children) that I'm already thinking of you daily and that I already know some of your names. For the rest of you, we'll have to wait to know your names until Dad and I come to an agreement.

Your dad and I met under weird circumstances. At least, that's what I think. It is not the type of romantic story I'd imagined for myself while growing up. I thought I would marry a boy from one of my college classes or maybe from my church ward. I thought we would meet at some activity like Stadium Singing or a group movie night with friends from my apartment complex. Thanks to Disney, I even thought I might meet him in the woods (which sounds kind of sketchy, but really--how many Disney princesses met their princes in the woods? Like all of them.). I never imagined that your dad and I would be set up by someone or that our first conversation would take place through Facebook. I mean, really...Facebook? I know it's modern day, but the internet is just not romantic to me--period.

But we did, and now I think it's cool that we met and immediately liked one another just by talking to each other. We just get each other--it's hard to explain. We talked for a week, met after that week, started dating at the end of the second week, and got engaged two months later. I guess it's true what they say, "When you know, you know." Your dad was my first and only real boyfriend. While we were dating during those two months I was praying hard every day to know if I should marry your dad. I liked him that much right away. Every Friday morning, my roommates and I would go to the Rexburg temple to do some baptisms. And every Friday morning, while we waited in the chapel, I would pray for confirmation that marrying your dad was right and would write about what I was feeling in my journal.
On Friday, April 22, 2011, I wrote the following in my journal:

Reasons I know: [that we're meant to be]
Dalin sincerely tells me he love me
We have quirky things in common
We share most interests and opinions
Dalin treats me like a royal daughter of God
He makes me want to be my best self
He is my best friend. Already
He is not superficial or shallow
The Spirit remains around the two of us when we are together
Dalin has a testimony and is an example to me and others
Dalin is understanding
He is patient with my imperfections
He is willing to wait as long as it takes [to get married]
He and I can talk of gospel topics and sacred things
We share many similar perspectives
He loves me for who I am now
He is willing to make changes/sacrifices for me
He is not worried about my family, though I sure as heck am [this was in response to our wanting to get married after knowing each other for so short a time]
He and I both feel we don't deserve each other
He does not hinder my future goals but encourages them and wants to be a part of them
He is an Eagle Scout
He served a faithful mission
He wants children (however many I want! :)
He is flexible about the future and where we will live
He believes in me, more than I do myself
He is temple worthy and wants a temple marriage
He is what I want and more from a spouse
He is willing to try new things
He is frugal and cautious about money--but not when it comes to me
Dalin is honest--even with me when I make mistakes
He is trusting and forgiving
He has goals of his own
He wants to serve a senior mission (with me)
He wants to travel (with me)
He is good at compromising
He always wears his seatbelt (and makes me wear mine)
He is concerned for my welfare and safety

So yeah, that was a pretty extensive list and I am sure there would have been more but I ran out of time. Almost exactly a month later on Monday, May 23rd, Dalin called my dad and in an eleven-minute conversation, asked for my dad's permission to marry me, which was both brave and wonderful of him. I remember pacing the living room of my apartment, anxiously awaiting Dalin's phone call. I even called my mom and tried to get her to tell me what they were talking about but she wasn't very helpful at relaying that information. After, Dalin called and told me my dad said yes and in response, I jumped for joy (and thanked Heavenly Father because, quite frankly, it felt like a miracle that my dad had given his permission). A week later, I was down in Provo with Dalin when he proposed in the woods (bonus point for him ;) and I told him yes. It felt funny because we already had known we were going to get married. Asking me was more of just a formality than a confirmation.

Your dad and I were sealed--not just for our time on earth--but for time and all eternity in the Boston Temple on August 19, 2011. It was the happiest day of my life. I truly mean that. I loved my wedding day. My mother in particular made sure that it was so special for me. Yes, I wish I had been able to have more of our delicious wedding cake and more time dancing with Dalin and taking in the atmosphere of the reception, but the short and simple and perfect ceremony at the temple gave me the comfort of knowing that your dad and I were sealed together forever. And because of our choice to marry in the temple, you guys--our children--are sealed to us forever, too, automatically. It is a beautiful and amazing thing that the gospel of Jesus Christ makes this a possibility for us.

Your dad is my best friend for a lot of reasons. For one, he is a great listener. And I'm a great talker (as you already know by now), which makes our partnership perfect. When I'm worried or can't stop thinking about something, I can tell him and he'll offer his opinion or give me advice or, if I ask him to, tell me to quit worrying and help me see a new perspective. He doesn't make me feel silly for being a dreamer, and his realistic approach to life anchors me a little. He appreciates my creativity and tells me so, which makes me happy. We both love reading and especially during our first two years of marriage alone, we did a lot of reading together. We would swap books on the Kindle or tell the other if a book wasn't worth reading. I would tease him for liking some of the nerdy books that he does, and he would tease me for reading the same books and watching the same movies over and over again. He tolerates my incessant comments about how I miss New Hampshire and why I love New England so much. He has never complained about it. Besides those things, he also is a really, really good man. He works hard for our family and is doing his best to make sure that we are financially secure. When I was worried about the cost of things after Tenley was born, he reassured me that everything would work out and reminded me that it was worth it. He is very faithful. He is the leader of our home (though I still feel that I get a fair amount of say).

When we have an argument, we either resolve it or we save it for later. And usually we forget about it. We never yell at each other, and we consider the D-word (the D-word is divorce) to be a swear and never EVER use it because, quite simply, it isn't an option for us. We're not doing that because we chose to be sealed forever. Sometimes, we do go to bed angry with one another, but I think that it has been a good thing because by morning, the problem seems significantly smaller and much less important. We also both feel much more forgiving toward one another. And sometimes, the problem was only created because one or both of us was tired and not thinking clearly--or not behaving as nicely as we should have been. We always apologize to one another. Sometimes we both know one of us was more at fault than the other, but we say sorry anyway and promise to try harder. We are not perfect. Especially me. But we are trying our best at being great spouses to one another and the best parents to you. Every day, we try a little harder to be a little better.

Your dad is my best friend. We are family because we chose one another. And that choice was an eternal one.

Read more about our love story here.

Can you think of anything from our relationship that I should have added?
What would you want your children to know about you and your spouse's relationship?

20 Random Facts to Tell The Kids

Here are some things my children should know about me. Many of these things you can figure out on your own just from getting to know me, but I don't think I've written them down anywhere in my thirty journals and I should probably record it. For posterity. Some are serious, some are just for fun.

1. I am stubborn when it comes to my political and religious beliefs. I know what I know and I do not like to be told that I'm wrong. I will always defend my beliefs in these respective areas. It is an inherent and obstinate part of my personality.

2. I rarely exercise and I wear only a little makeup. I'm too lazy to exercise, truthfully, but I would do it if I thought it would improve my health. My body is surprisingly almost completely back to my pre-pregnancy body at 8 weeks [today] though (go breastfeeding!), and as long as I'm eating well, I do not see that it is entirely necessary. I won't deny that exercise does greatly improve my mood so perhaps that is reason enough to do it. As for makeup, as long as I have mascara and eyeliner, I don't care about anything else. I want to look like myself and I do not care for the caked on look. And neither does Dalin thankfully. I'm all for enhancing one's natural beauty.

3. I've made it my goal to not buy any clothes for myself or Dalin for a year (see here). So far it hasn't been that difficult (I literally haven't been to a clothing store since I set the goal which has helped) but I am sure sooner or later I will be tempted and my resolve to follow through will be tested. But I have a feeling I can do it and that I'll be better for it. It is one way that I'm making a sincere effort to be more grateful for all that I already have been given by a loving Father.

4. Sometimes--very often more recently--I just want to give up with school. It is very hard to have perspective when I don't see myself working necessarily and when the end feels so far off (though it really isn't). Plus, Independent Study stinks. But I know the end result will be worth it someday. "Eternal perspective," I tell myself repeatedly.

5. My primary love language is physical touch (9), followed by quality time (7), acts of service (6),  words of affirmation (5), and then receiving gifts (3). Find out your love language right here. (Okay, can I just add that Dalin's love language is the complete opposite of mine?? His is: words of affirmation (9), quality time (8), acts of service (8), receiving gifts (4), and physical touch (a freaking 1! Are you kidding me?!?!). But we're still married ;)

6. Being a mother is an incredible joy. It's better than I ever imagined it would be as a little girl who wanted a "Cheaper-By-The-Dozen"-sized family. I love holding my daughter as she snuggles into me. I love hearing her talk and coo at me. I love watching her smile in her sleep and her reactions to us smiling at her. I love the way she looks right into my eyes and gazes at me with so much love and wonder. I love seeing her with her daddy. I love that stage between wake and asleep and all her grunts and yawns and stretches. I love smelling her, touching her, nursing her, and feeling that she is all mine. I love that she makes me feel needed and wanted. I even love when she cries (I'm terrible--I usually start laughing because the things that babies cry about seem ridiculous to me) and when she scratches my chest with her sharp little claws. All the other moments make up for it. She makes me excited to meet my other children who aren't born yet.

7. I have an adventurous spirit. I frequently daydream about the future. I imagine our future home (and all the Pinterest projects I have lined up...) and sometimes I dream about what it would be like to get off the grid and be on our own for a while. I like the woods. I like my family. God is always with us. What more do I need, really? Then I remember that I love the rest of my family, too. And that I would miss them if we were just on our own. But still, it is fun to daydream.

8. I truly love my role as a Latter-day Saint woman. If you need convincing that the Mormon church properly honors and respects women, take a look at this right here. I think you will find that we are given a lot of credit for our divine role. I do not buy into modern society's view of what "true womanhood" is.

9. I feel like I am much smarter now than I have ever been at any other point in my life (especially thanks to the General Conference messages we just heard the last few days). Yeah, we all learn new things every day so this seems fairly obvious. But looking back through the years, there are a lot of things I wish I had known about life and about myself. I'm still naive about a lot of things, but some people call that "positivity" and it's a good quality. In some ways, I'm a realist (for example, I know the world is becoming increasingly evil), but I try to use the knowledge gained from that mindset to enhance my positive outlook. Being positive is a choice. It's hard, but it's worth it.

10. I'm happy (not just right now...like, I'm a happy person) because of my Latter-day Saint background to know that death is not the end. Because of our Savior Jesus Christ, I know we will live again. I am happy because I know (and believe with all my being) that families are forever. I'm happy because I know that Heavenly Father loves me. I am His child and so are you. Even if you don't believe it, too late. You can never change that you are a son or daughter of God.

11. I write in my journal every single day (and have since I was 13, hence the thirty-one journals I've filled) because I was asked to. The leaders of the Church encouraged me (and every other young person) to keep a journal. And so I do because I want to be obedient. Is it more for posterity or myself?--I couldn't say. Most likely it is for both of us. Do I feel like a moron when I read my old journals most of the time? Yes. Because I was silly. And I keep learning from the past. And I change every day.

12. I feel that I have good intuition. What does that mean, exactly? (See definition below) I have an innate sense about things in general. I think that I read people well. I can interpret and predict people's behavior, attitudes, and even how they are thinking based on their actions or body language. I get people--I understand how and why they think. On another note, I often feel like I know what is about to happen and then it does. I understand Tenley's needs. The last one is probably just mother's intuition, which is real, (and all mother's have it whether they heed it or not). How do I account for these intuent feelings? Probably very often it is the Spirit inspiring me. But I do believe that Heavenly Father gives us each certain unique gifts and talents and that my ability to discern people and my acute perception are a few of mine.

13. Sometimes (this kind of relates back to number 7) I wish that Dalin didn't have to work (in other words, that we were millionaires) and that we could live in a nice humble abode by the lake (with at least five bedrooms for us and our imaginary seven children) or the ocean, and that we could hang out and play together all the time without having to worry about finances ever. Money is dumb. And we can live off the land and provide for ourselves. And we can fly. (Just kidding about the last part though everything else is basically just as unrealistic).

14. I want my children to know that after Heavenly Father, I love their dad more than anything that has ever existed. And then them. And I hope that someday they will say the same thing about their Father in Heaven and their spouse.

15. What you see is what you get. I am far from perfect. I make mistakes every day though I try to improve myself. But I am real. I am down to earth. This is my first time being a mom. I never took a class or had a practice kid (though being the first child, Tenley is kind of in that position), I'm just figuring it out as I go along. I hope I don't stink as a mother, but if I mess up, remember that this is my first time and hopefully I'll get wiser as time goes on.

And a few more (not necessarily as important):
16. I want more babies. Lots of them. Everyone knows this about me. I love being a mom! Best kind of work ever.

17. I developed photos (because of Tenley) for the first time in years last week. So sad. Facebook and the internet have destroyed the need to develop pics. Probably when our kids are grown that won't be an option anymore. All picture frames will be digital. I hope not.

18. I am currently addicted to Cranberry-Lemonade (it took me a few glasses to get used to it) and to dark chocolate coconut almonds (thanks, Emily!). The best part about these two things? (and no they don't go together). Cranberries and almonds are good for you! Score. My kids probably won't care about this information, but I'll just throw in that I love juice and nuts in any form.

19. Someday, I want to get a dog. I think. (Sometimes I remember how much work they are and start to reconsider). If I were to get a dog, I'd want a dachshund (that's what my parents have and he is the best) or a beagle (or a mix of the two) because Snoopy is a beagle and I love Snoopy. So much. And all the Peanuts. But that's besides the point.

20. I love receiving flowers (of all kinds!) on any given day for any reason. Who doesn't? I have a bad habit though of saving them all...I dry them out then hang them places. I'm a little too sentimental when it comes to flowers I guess;)

Just being a mom. Love Tenley's sleep smile. 

Our family is forever. Period.

Did any of these surprise you? If so, which one(s)?
Is there anything that you think I need to add to this list?

Six Weeks Young

This picture is from our sweetheart's first fishing trip at 7am. Starting her early... ;)

Tenley is six weeks as of yesterday! Everyone tells you over and over that time flies, but they really mean it when it comes to one's kids. I can't even believe I gave birth to her over a month ago. It seems like it just happened but--here comes the cliché--at the same time it feels like we've had our baby girl here forever. I can't picture life without Tenley anymore. Personally, I do not think she has "interfered" with our life at all; on the contrary--she has enhanced it and made it more meaningful than ever. Sure we have to do things a little differently (and a little slower) with her here, but we do more fun activities as a family and I feel the happiest I've ever been having her in my life. Being her mom and playing with and caring for her each day is like having a little best friend by my side. Tenley started smiling fairly regularly a few days ago, too, which is a very happy thing. She smiles at me several times throughout the day, and now at Dalin, too. Today when Dalin came home between work and class, he went into our room where Tenley was napping on the bed, and when she woke up and saw him, she gave her daddy the biggest smile. It was so cute I could have died...and unfortunately there was no camera nearby. Her smiles are still so fleeting that they are almost impossible to catch on camera anyway though.

In other news, I am almost back to my pre-birth size (haha, don't judge that based on this photo). I weigh about 110 right now, so if I lose about 10 lbs I'll be back to my pre-baby body, which will be nice, mainly because I'll be able to fit into my normal jeans again (assuming my hips aren't permanently widened which I've heard can happen...they sure were wide right after Tenley was born). Thankfully I fit into all my skirts and stretchy jeans though so that's progress (especially the pants part)! It is unbelievable how fast my body has recovered from giving birth. I'm not the exercising type either so I was really worried I'd look pregnant forever. Breastfeeding has been a lifesaver for that reason. It really is a miracle that the weight has just fallen off from nursing. Heavenly Father had that planned out perfectly. Based on what several women told me, I was not really expecting to feel so back to normal yet. Nothing has been as bad as anyone told me it would be after for that matter, for which I am grateful. But it's pretty great (though a little sad) and weird not to have my big baby belly anymore. It's weird to be able to see my feet and legs when I look down. In a way I miss being pregnant because I loved being close to my baby, but I am a billion times happier to have her out. I love holding Tenley and kissing her (which I do all the time--much to her dismay when she's crying) and talking to her all the time. I love the way she snuggles against me and falls asleep when my face is close to hers. I love when she stares up at me out of the corner of her big blue eyes when I'm nursing her and makes me feel so needed and loved. I love how she is asleep laying across my lap right now as I type this. As I've been promised, I have so much joy in motherhood. And Dalin has so much joy in being a father. He is always so sweet and tender with Tenley and it fills my heart with happiness seeing the bond they already share as father and daughter.

Yeah, we both love this girl. Quite a lot. It is the best thing ever being her mom. 

How long did it take you to get back to your pre-birth size? Not that it really matters (it's not a competition) but I am curious!

The Perfect Gap

Dalin and I have been thinking. Well, let's be honest--I've been thinking. Thinking about our family. Now that I'm a stay-at-home mom, I have very different priorities. Feeding the baby comes before everything--seriously, everything. Even before eating myself. I'm so busy taking care of Tenley half the time that I forget to eat. One night, it was almost midnight and I was in bed when all of a sudden I realized I hadn't had breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Just lots to drink (which I realize is something I constantly want since I'm nursing) and a few snacks. I hadn't even felt hungry, I was so distracted. Anyway, my priorities have changed which is what one would naturally expect when having a baby, but I didn't realize how much of my day would be filled with taking care of that baby. Only during her many brief naps do I get the chance to try and get schoolwork done, wash dishes, pick up the apartment, or gather laundry together. I'm lucky if I can sneak in a shower somewhere in my day. And more often than not, the only things that I get accomplished some days are feeding and changing Tenley.

As a stay-at-home mom, I consider this my job. It truly is a job, much more than I thought it would be. Not that it's really particularly hard, but it certainly is time-consuming. Instead of working 40 hours a week, I now work 24 hours a day. I work the night shift and the day shift, and am basically on-call 100% of the time. In addition, I am the maid, maintenance, interior decorator, planner, chef, and driver. With all these jobs, the payments I receive are joy, satisfaction, and eternal rewards, which is more than enough for me; however I do think some financial reimbursement would be nice especially considering that I am now one of the (rare) few women that stay home with their children and ensure that they are being cared for adequately and being taught to have faith, morals, and values, but unfortunately the world isn't really at a place where it rewards people for those things. Apparently they aren't that important to mankind anymore. I didn't mean to sound bitter in this post (though I was mostly just being sarcastic) so let me get back on track.

If you know me at all, you know I have always wanted a big family. Twelve used to be the magic number because I wanted to have a "Cheaper by the Dozen" family (the book version mostly--though the movie version is still fun). I thought that having that many siblings would be a blast and family reunions would be even more fun. I still think a family of twelve would be awesome, but over the years I eventually settled on seven children. Seven would be the perfect number. Yeah, for the world today, seven is still a lot. But I want my own version of the Weasley family (Harry Potter reference) and I always thought six boys and one girl would be a blast. At this rate, I am doubting whether I will get my six boys I originally wanted, but I love having a daughter so much now that I'm fine with that. The big question is, when should we have our next child? I'm truthfully on board for sooner rather than later. That's why I discussed my being a stay-at-home mom above. That is now my job and I'm going to do my best to succeed at it. So why wait? If that's what I am doing, then I may as well have my other children here, too. Maybe that reasoning is weird, but I have had so much joy with Tenley already that I cannot even wait to meet my other children. Anyhow, I'm not talking about having a baby nine months from now, but I am wondering what the "ideal" age gap is between children. I loved being a year apart from Payson (not that I want something that close) but what do you think? One year? One and a half? Two? Four? We probably will be praying for this answer on our own, but I am truly curious about what you think.

So help me out. What do *you* think the perfect age gap is between children?

Love watching her snuggle with her dad. She loves him so much already!

iWant

I'm not particularly in the mood to write a long, interesting post, but I need to distract myself from wanting to meet (so badly) this sweet little girl inside me. So I thought I would share what I want for the future of the little Gunnell family:

First off, I want more kids. Our first isn't quite here but already I feel more excited to become a mom than anything. I have wanted to be a mother all my life and I am so thankful that I will be able to start this exciting and fun journey with Dalin really soon (I hope!!). I bet many of you are thinking, isn't it a little premature to be thinking about baby #2 already? I don't feel like it is. Anyone who grew up with me knows I have always wanted a larger family (six or seven children to be more specific), and if I am to achieve that goal I need to get a move on! ;) But seriously, I am extremely grateful for how easy I have had it so far. My pregnancy has been long but wonderful. Particularly when I hear about the experiences of other women, I realize I have nothing to complain about. I am so looking forward to giving birth. In Spanish, the phrase for "giving birth" is dar a luz. I love that because directly translated it means, "to give a light." Children of Heavenly Father are lights when they come to this earth and I cannot wait to meet our sweet little daughter of God. 

Second, I want our daughter (and our other children, too) to learn Spanish. I am not sure why this is so important to me, but it always has been. I really want my children to be bilingual so that they might have many options available to them in the future. I'm not too concerned about her learning English. I am sure I will speak to her in English more often than I would like and everyone around her will be speaking English, too. The thing is, I love Spanish, and my latin friends tell me I'm pretty good at speaking it... But I certainly am not fluent. Dalin knows Spanish from his mission in San Diego and I've been informed by several of his mission friends that he is amazing at it. So together we should be able to be successful, right? It obviously isn't my first language and it will be a challenge to tell myself to speak to her in Spanish, but it is important to me that my children learn as much as they can.

Third, I want to organize our home--on several levels. I want our home to be a place of peace and welcoming. I want others to feel the Spirit when they enter our home. I want it to be clean and organized, and I want to de-clutter our lives and learn to focus on establishing gospel principles in our home. Hopefully we can take President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's words to heart: "It is good advice to slow down a little, steady the course, and focus on the essentials." As Elder Dallin H. Oaks once taught, "We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families." The gospel is our priority. Returning to our Father in Heaven is our ultimate goal. I want to be with my family forever.

Fourth, I want to save for our future home. I am not positive where our family will end up, (though I have some ideas) but I know that I want a humble home that I feel I can maintain and work on and beautify. I want to have a modest-sized home (despite our supposedly large family) because I want to be able to afford to do things. I want to travel with Dalin and our children. I want to be able to visit family whenever we want. I want to be able to bring our kids to places and teach them to value experiences and lessons over possessions. I would much rather go places as a family than have lots of things. I love Elder Dallin H. Oaks' quote: "In choosing how we spend time as a family, we should be careful not to exhaust our available time on things that are merely good and leave little time for that which is better or best." Quality family time is much more important than having a lot of new things. "The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives." (Elder Oaks). 

Fifth, I want to finish school and work toward developing a part-time career that I can do in our home with my children. I think it is important that I contribute to our income in whatever way possible, though my first priority is raising our children in the gospel. Whether I contribute by selling my artwork, teaching art classes, writing a fantastic blog (ha ha), or editing or even writing books (like I ultimately would like to), I want to feel as though I am helping our family in that small way. I enjoy doing projects and creating things and I hope I will be able to cultivate those talents and interests in my children's own lives. 

Sixth, I want to raise our children with a firm foundation in the gospel of Jesus Christ. They will have their agency and they may choose to take a route that strays from our faith, but I hope by establishing a good base, they will ultimately choose for themselves the way of the gospel. I know it brings the truest happiness and is the only means by which we can live with our families forever.

What are your family or personal goals? 

Being Pregnant: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

I want to end on a positive note, so I'm going to begin this list in reverse. 
The Ugly~
1. Swelling legs and feet. I don't think I've had this visibly yet, however I have felt the effects. My feet ache from the weight of being on them for a long period of time, and my legs have started to feel numb when I use them a lot. 
2. Stretch marks. I have not spotted any yet, but it's only a matter of time. Most appear in the last few weeks of pregnancy. 
3. Feeling full to the point of bursting after eating too quickly. This happens to normal people, too, but when there is a baby taking up more stomach space, it feels really uncomfortable. 
4. Acid reflux. I have only experienced this one time and it was after drinking an entire can of Inca Cola (which I think has caffeine in it). It didn't hurt, but it felt like I had vomit coming up my throat for several hours. No more of that...ever.
5. Unfixable muffin top. I can't do anything about it while pregnant except deal with it. And try to wear clothes that don't pronounce it. 
6. Worrying about my body post-baby. I shouldn't care about this, but it's hard not to worry a little. I want to be able to do the things I normally do. And I don't want to feel un-cute. Hopefully breastfeeding will slim me down a lot more quickly. 

The Bad~
1. Waiting, waiting, waiting. It feels like she's never coming.
2. Getting emotional over new things. Like children getting hurt (even if it's on TV and it's fake). Or babies. Or when I mess up because of my pregnant body. 
3. Nothing from my old wardrobe fits. Even jeans that were big for me pre-pregnancy don't fit. Baggy shirts that seem promising? My belly still pokes out at the bottom. And worst of all, sometimes I don't notice right away until I feel a sudden breeze...also, maternity clothes are expensive! I'm pretty cheap so this is really frustrating for me--I just don't want to buy clothes I can only wear for like four months at a time! 
4. Feeling guilty. I wanted to wash the dishes and do the laundry and pick up the house...but I just couldn't do it all. 
5. Feeling overwhelmed. I have so many things I should and could be doing. I just can't anymore.
6. Perpetual exhaustion. Feeling tired (or never feeling energized) never seems to go away. 
7. Clumsiness. I dropped an entire bag of goldfish this morning. Then I was too frustrated and emotional about it, that I couldn't pick them up right away. 
8. Belly being in the way. I spill even a drop, it is guaranteed to land on my belly. I have also hit my belly into corners and things a few times which really hurts and freaks me out (I worry I've hurt the baby). 
9. Inability to pick things up easily. Sometimes I use my feet to pick something up because it's just so hard to bend over with a big belly in the way. And sometimes (I hate this) I bend down to get something but can't make it on my first try because my legs weren't spread enough to make room for my belly. 
10. Peeing. Often. Standing up, climbing stairs, descending stairs, getting out of bed, adjusting my legs, drinking something, baby squishing my bladder--all of these bring about an instant need to pee. And it's most annoying when it's only like a teaspoon's worth. So many ten-second trips to the bathroom it drives me crazy.
11. Leaking. From a few spots. Enough said...
12. Inability to sit on the ground. On my butt? No. Cross-legged? Nope. Kneeling? Definitely not. If I do these things anyway, I lose circulation in just a few minutes. 
13. Getting asked all the time about when you're due. If I weren't so impatient, maybe I wouldn't mind. But now it's just tiresome because I'm already counting down the days. 

The Good~
1. Knowing I'm bringing a new little spirit child into the world. And knowing she has unmeasurable potential. 
2. Growing our family! So excited to have a family of three!
3. Creating life. It is so cool that women have the ability to bring tiny new humans to this earth. I love reading about what is happening to my body and knowing that I have all the supplies to bring a healthy new life into the world. 
4. Feeling her grow and move inside me. Sometimes those kicks and stretches are uncomfortable, but I still enjoy feeling her push her little foot against my belly and her wiggling around. 
5. Buying things for her. I haven't needed to buy very much since we've received so many things used but it's so much fun to look!
6. Getting lots of hand-me-downs and baby gifts. People love buying baby stuff. And having the first grand-daughter (or first grandchild) for your parents has its merits. 
7. People asking about your baby. I don't really like talking about when she's coming (since it reminds me how long I have left) but I love telling people about how it's our first child, the name we like for her, and about how excited we are to have her. 
8. People go out of their way to talk to you and be nice to you. Seriously, everyone wants to hold the door for you and everyone wants to help you. No one minds loading your car for you or lending you a hand when you look like I do. 
9. Getting to eat whenever I want without people commenting. I snack and snack and everyone's like, "Keep eating, that baby needs nourishment!"
10. Willingness to serve increases in others. I've been getting a lot more help from friends, family, and husband with chores and others things. When you're pregnant, it isn't a burden for family members to help you out. 
11. Being given a break when you do something embarrassing or dumb. People make excuses for you like, "It's okay, you're pregnant," and being able to use the excuse of "pregnancy brain" which is real. 
12. Babymoons. We are so excited for our daughter to be here and wish she was already, but in the meantime, we try to take advantage of the small amount of time remaining that we will have alone. This means more eating out, special dates, etc. 
13. Being in charge of someone. We get to pick her name and choose how she will be raised. We get to dedicate our lives to this little daughter of God and help raise her to be the best she can be. 
14. Learning to become parents. We are already figuring out what kind of parents we will be and I cannot wait to see Dalin as a father. He is going to be the best ever! 
15. Knowing that, in the end, we will have an addition to our family and it will make all the waiting and discomfort 100% worthwhile. I simply cannot wait. No matter what, less than 50 days! (I don't think I'll have a choice after 43 from now anyway). 

P.S. I thought of number 16. No period. Best thing ever. 

What were your favorite or least favorite parts about being pregnant? 
(I've been really lucky with the sickness side--I only felt nauseous from about weeks 8-12 and I never actually got sick.)

My big baby belly. 35 weeks

Why I Don't Serve Others...Sometimes

K, the title is a little misleading...I do serve others, or at least I try to whenever I can. I love service and my parents are wonderful examples of it. But there are some types of service that I am reluctant to offer help with. For example, the ladies in my ward have this Facebook group where pretty much daily someone will create a post requesting help or offering it to others. And sometimes these wonderful ladies ask someone to watch their kids. 

Now, I seriously love children and I loved being Primary President in my ward for a year, but watching other people's children alone kind of freaks me out. Yes, I used to babysit all the time and that wasn't really an issue because they were kids I knew from church or the neighborhood, but it is scary to watch an infant or child that you don't know really well. You don't know how their parents want you to respond to certain situations and you don't want to do something that they wouldn't do with their child. Babies especially make me nervous. When they cry, I immediately get stressed out because I don't know how to help them. Yes, I know how to change a diaper and feed a baby. I also know the basics of trying to put a baby to sleep...but every child is so different and unless it's your own, you might not have the instincts to help in just the right way. 

I fully expect motherhood to be a challenge. But I also believe it will be a lot of fun. I was promised to have "joy in motherhood" and I am certain that for the most part, it will be a joy. Dalin and I love talking about bringing our little girl to see the places we love and getting to see the excitement she feels when we go on vacation as a family. We are so excited for the future and I definitely am looking forward with more eagerness than apprehension. And realistically, nobody knows how to be a mother their first time around. Eve had to figure it out all on her own with no examples! I can't even imagine that. At least I know how my own mom raised me and have something to go by! 

Anyway, the point I was trying to make is that I do want to help when I see these moms requesting help watching their children...I'm just too scared to offer. When I have my own kids, maybe I'll be able to say, "Sure, bring him or her over anytime!" but as of right now, I'm still too scared to do it alone. 

Does anyone else feel the same way about watching other people's children? 

Did it go away after you had kids?

Real Role Models For Little Girls

I read this: http://www.jaimemoorephotography.com/2013/05/09/not-just-a-girl/

And this is what I thought: I agree with this mom that there is nothing wrong with loving Disney princesses. Nearly every child loves to dream about that stuff. I still do in fact, though I am not technically a child. But it is definitely a good idea to give children real role models as well--especially in case they eventually grow out of the Disney phase (which hopefully no child of mine will ever do...). I agree with her choices of good role models...Susan B. Anthony, Coco Chanel, Helen Keller, Amelia Earhart, and Jane Goodall. There are probably several women I could add, but for the sake of time, I will add just a few for now.

Madam Marie Curie. She won two Nobel Prizes in physics and chemistry, discovered elements radium and polonium, and coined the term "radioactivity." She also opened the doors for women in the sciences. She said, "Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained."

Rosa Parks. She had the courage to stand (well, sit...) for what she knew was right. She was a well-known civil rights activist because of her actions. She shows women that simple acts can lead to great things. Rosa Parks said, "I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear." She also said, "Each person must live their life as a model for others." What a great example she set.

Marjorie Pay Hinckley. A wonderful wife, mother, and role model for women, particularly those of the LDS faith. She encouraged youth to seek higher education. She was an excellent example of service to others. She tells us simply to, "Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." I love that she is reminding us to humanize people rather than objectifying them, and that she reminds us to avoid making judgements about others. Another great quote from Marjorie: "We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are."

There are many, many other women who could and should be added to this list. Maybe I will find the time to add to it. But for now, I just want to say that I am thankful for those women who recognized their individual worth and divine natures and did not let the ways of the world discourage them. They found the inner strength to go on and set positive examples for many generations to come. Thank goodness for good women. "May we know them, may we be them, may we raise them."

What other women have been great role models to you or someone else?

My Little Stand for the Family

Well you all know me and how very conservative the majority of my views are. This time around, I will admit, I was intending to stay completely clear of the recent discussions on marriage--not because I do not have a valid opinion to defend, but because I wanted to preserve the peace. But something about marriage just causes my heart to burn with emotion and I feel so strongly that it needs to be defended. Maybe it's because as a Latter-day Saint (or, Mormon), my beliefs are frequently mocked and trodden on. Maybe it's because I am stubborn and have to get a word in when I feel passionately about something. Either way, here I am, putting my "two cents" in. I will boldly say though, that I know the following things are worth so much more eternally than a mere two pennies.

The words I want to share are not my own, but I felt they were written so beautifully and articulately that I wanted to quote them. Because the first woman's comments are in response to words of others, there may be a little confusion which I will clear up if necessary.

I have never met these women and do not know anything about either of them except that we share the same views in regards to marriage. Disagree with us if you would like, but I will simply (and as politely as I can) reply with a defense of our belief that marriage is sacred, and ordained of God for one man and one woman. 

Written by Aly R. Taylor:

I do believe my entire world and life will change if gay marriage passes and that within 20 years our entire society will look more different than imaginable. I also know that it will affect my children and their children, for the worse...I also believe that divorce rates will go up if people do not appreciate the sanctity of marriage. Marriage is an important institution that makes our society better for many reasons, including an increase in stability which is better for the economy, and raising good children. Take a look at this article for an interesting opinion from someone who is a libertarian and not pro/against marriage but describes that in all likelihood it will make a change our life as we know it: 

[This is a very interesting read if you have the time to get through it]
 http://fireflydove.wordpress.com/2009/10/12/a-libertarian-view-of-gay-marriage/

Divorce rates would easily go up to 80% plus within 10 years if we keep ignoring the importance and sanctity of marriage, and our society will be worse off. From my experience divorce often creates unhappy or bitter people and broken families. That is but one of my 100 concerns with gay marriage.

It saddens me that very few people think of consequences to their actions nowadays. But you are right -----, it is a choice and hopefully my children will have such a burning desire and love for God that they will choose to follow him over any carnal desire.

Everyone is so concerned with making "history" that they don't think through the actual impact and the eternal perspective. I believe in eternity, and don't understand individuals who can say they follow Christ and go directly against his Word. To love Christ is to follow him. I love my fellow man, but that love for them and for God is what drives me to help his cause. It's like if you knew someone was about to commit murder, wouldn't you do what you can to stop them from committing this sin? Why would you not help your fellow man and do what you can to help them find eternal happiness versus worldly temporary happiness?

Written by Annie Z. Edwards: 

It doesn't have anything to do with sin or feelings. I have no problem with gays having a union and any and all tax or whatever benefits heterosexual couples have. But the sacrament of marriage is partially for pro-creation which physically can only be done one way. I feel there should be equal and separate benefits for gay couples and their unions but disagree with changing the definition if marriage. And having my own opinion on the subject while respecting your right to have yours does not make me intolerant. 

This link conveys the reasoning behind my belief that children thrive best in a home with one faithful father and mother. It is so worth your time! It was created by Erika Bahr. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNahtS4XJ8E&feature=youtu.be 

“Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.” ~Rachel Jankovic

If you are wondering what we as Latter-day Saints (or Mormons) believe in, this article called "The Divine Institution of Marriage" is put out by leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and leaves no question as to what members of the Church believe in.
http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/the-divine-institution-of-marriage 

Here is a video about it if you prefer that: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsR9HPhsjJ4

This beautiful document, entitled "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," additionally conveys my personal belief in the sanctity of marriage and the family order:  https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation

There is more to say and more things I could express, but for now, I would like to leave this post as it is and ask you to respectfully keep your differing beliefs to yourself unless you have a question or comment that in no way needs to be censored. Otherwise, I thankfully still have the right to monitor what is said here and I will utilize that right. 

I appreciate your tolerance of (and patience with) my beliefs. Once you have read everything on this page, I invite you to share your beliefs--but only once you fully understand where I come from. 

If you desire, here is a link from a Christian woman whom I am not acquainted with, but I appreciated her thoughts on children and the family, shared here: http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/motherhood-is-a-calling-and-where-your-children-rank

"The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home."

~Confucius 

"The family is the first essential cell of human society."

~Pope John XXIII

"Science has established two facts meaningful for human welfare: first, the foundation of the structure of human personality is laid down in early childhood; and second, the chief engineer in charge of this construction is the family."

~Meyer Francis Nimkoff

"The family is the cornerstone of our society. More than any other force it shapes the attitude, the hopes, the ambitions, and the values of the child. And when the family collapses, it is the children that are usually damaged. When it happens on a massive scale, the community itself is crippled. So, unless we work to strengthen the family, to create conditions under which most parents will stay together, all the rest--schools, playgrounds, public assistance, and private concern--will never be enough."

~Lyndon B. Johnson 

"The important thing is the family. If you can keep the family together--and that's the backbone of our whole business, catering to families--that's what we hope to do."

~Walt Disney

"If a country is to be corruption-free and become a nation of beautiful minds, I strongly feel there are three key societal members who make a difference. They are the father, the mother, and the Teacher."

~Abdul Kalam