Play Dates

Tenley and I both had a play date today! Mine was with my friend, Rachel. Tenley's was with Rachel's son, Henry. We had grilled cheese and tomato soup and salad. It was delicious. But as always, the best part of the play date was getting to sit with another mom and just talk about our lives. Talking is seriously the best therapy. Anyway, we had a lot of fun as you can see from the photos below. Fun fact, Tenley and Henry are exactly two months apart (on the day). Both of their dads are also two months apart!

It's just an awesome coincidence that they're matching :)

Comparing feet

So funny!

Big difference in the size of their hands!

Cuties

Henry was much more interested in Tenley than she was in him

Tenley's expression...

Precious, much? Whoever gave her this outfit, it's the cutest! Thank you!

I hope everyone had a great Monday!
What did you do today? 

Dear Pregnant Ladies: Sharing 15 Facts

For all you pregnant ladies out there, here are some things for you to know about giving birth and post-partum info. I'm certainly no expert, but I read enough stuff to know what information is actually useful. You've all read about the sleepless nights and intensity of labor. But I want to share a more positive (but still realistic) perspective. I go into great detail in some areas, so this is more of a "women only" post. Unless your wife has already given birth, in which case, you'll probably understand.

1. First off, it's wonderful and possibly the best moment of your life. I loved giving birth, as you can read about right here, and would do it again in a heartbeat. It's so totally and completely worth it, no matter what you go through to get there. That first time you hold your little baby after he or she's out, you'll understand. Apart from my wedding day, I didn't know if I'd ever been happier. And it was a close call. So just know that what you go through is worth it. And if you're positive about it like I was, you might even love it.

2. You might just pee, poop, or throw up while giving birth. It stinks, but it can happen. But the good news is, it might not! None of those things happened to me. And like anyone, I had been fearing it tremendously. Throwing up usually happens because the epidural can make you feel pretty nauseous (not enough to scare me away from getting it again though!) but my nausea wasn't any worse than the morning sickness I'd experienced during my first trimester. As you'll hear a thousand times over, if any of these things should happen to you, don't worry--doctors have seen it all, and more good news: you might not even know if you do. I had to ask after because I had no idea what was happening down there, (and honestly, it sure felt like something happened) but apparently nothing did. And even more good news: I can almost 100% guarantee you won't give a crap if it does happen. You might, like me, even want it to happen (weird, I know). During my labor, the pressure on my rectum (sorry, gross word) was so intense that I felt like I was experiencing the worst constipation in my entire life and at the time, I just wanted to feel relieved from that pressure. You just get to the point where you accept that whatever is going to happen is going to happen, and nothing matters but getting that baby out! So, basically, Hakuna Matata, right? No worries.

3. While in labor and for a while after giving birth, you might shake. Like a lot. I kind of looked like I was freezing to death. Or having a mini-seizure. But I felt fine--I just could not control my arms, hands, or my jaw! My teeth chattering was the most annoying thing because it affected my speaking. Everyone kept asking if I was cold, but I wasn't--I just couldn't stop. I think I heard someone call these "labor shakes" (makes sense) and other than being really annoying, they aren't a big deal. I believe they are caused by adrenaline and are really nothing to worry about. Just anticipate it because a lot of women get them.

4. At first, while pushing, you will probably feel like you CAN'T DO IT. That is how my mom felt, that is how I felt, and I'm positive that is how countless other women felt when they began pushing. It seems impossible. It is impossible. It makes no sense to me that an 8lb 3oz baby came out of such a small place. Even now, three months later, I occasionally find myself wondering how our baby came out of me. You'll find yourself, as I have, holding your son or daughter on your belly and wondering how he or she possibly could have fit inside you. It makes no logical sense, but somehow it's possible. It's a miracle. An infinite number of women have had and will continue to have babies. You can do it. When the doctor got a mirror while I was pushing and I saw how little of my daughter's head was visible when I was pushing at my very hardest, I thought, She is never coming out. I might have even said it aloud. After four hours, my doctor thought I might have to go with a C-section, she was so stuck. I didn't give up, and with the help of forceps, she finally came out--very cone-headed, but perfectly fine. When you are in that moment of despair, keep the thought in the back of your head that you can do it. You have to. That baby can't stay in there forever even though it seems like it. And if you end up having a C-section, don't worry and DON'T feel bad. Don't let anyone make you feel like your birth experience was less special or less right because you did it differently. That's what my doctor had to tell me when I was feeling frustrated that I wasn't going to have the natural, epidural-free birth I wanted. But you know what? Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing. Except maybe I'd have asked that we could try the forceps sooner than four hours...

5. Your baby will look like an alien when he or she comes out. So don't be freaked out. Some babies are gray, some are purple, some are pink, some are covered in blood, and ALL are soaking wet and not as sweet as you might have pictured. Tenley had the hugest cone-head from being in the birth canal for four hours. I didn't have time to process it at the time though because they immediately set her down to be measured, washed up, and swaddled. Then, when they did hand her to me, they had put a hat on her head which covered up the worst of it. When I saw her cone-head uncovered later that night, I'll admit I was a tad worried for her, but it went down significantly by the next day and even more so in the days that followed. At three months, Tenley's head looked completely normal to me. You, like me, might not think that most just-born babies are that pretty to look at, but I am certain that nothing will look more beautiful to you than your own baby. Only a mother's love, I tell you.

6. For a while, you will be VERY swollen down there. It is not pretty. In fact, it's really ugly. My swelling lasted maybe four days, which I think is longer than normal, but I also pushed REALLY HARD for four hours. And that isn't normal at all (my doctor told me he's never had anyone push as long as I did) so don't worry. But I'll tell you, the first time I went to the bathroom after giving birth--with the assistance of my nurses because I couldn't walk by myself--I looked down and was like WOAH. I seriously did not recognize myself. But the nurses assured me that swelling was normal, though mine was worse than most. I don't want to go into detail, but basically I was kind of really grossed out about how things looked for a few days. Luckily, I was encouraged to take lots of hot baths while at the hospital (and at home) which really helps. It also feels amazing. I took four or five baths at the hospital and was encouraged to take more while there but I just wanted to be with my husband and baby.

7. Going to the bathroom is different for a while. This I had not known at all! It makes sense, but my mind was in other places when I thought about birth. My experience will surely be unique from your own, but hopefully this will help prepare you. After the epidural wore off, the nurses removed the catheter (which is kind of cool but really weird--in case you don't know, it catches your pee and is like a little straw that they insert you-know-where, then they inflate a tiny bubble when it's in you so it stays there. I could feel when it was in--it didn't really hurt, but it was obvious that something was there. I could also feel it catching my pee. That sounds weird, but I couldn't control it, and it just kind of constantly flowed into a little bag until they removed it) and then escorted me to the bathroom. Note: I could hardly walk, A) because the epidural hadn't worn off 100%, B) I was exhausted, and C) I must have twisted my leg while pushing because one of the joints of my leg was hurting and it was really hard to walk on it, so the nurses basically dragged/carried/completely supported me while I walked limped like a zombie/bowlegged cowboy toward the bathroom. I kept apologizing to them, mostly because I felt bad and was embarrassed because I was dripping blood on the floor and because I felt completely weak and helpless, but they were so nice and understanding because it is of course their job to help you in this situation. The nurse even helps you um...clean yourself, after you use the bathroom. Mostly because it becomes a kind of complicated routine for the next week or two. They give you these horribly un-cute mesh undies to put on, and put the biggest sanitary pad you've ever seen in your life down on them. Then they put a glove filled with ice cubes into a sock and put that thing down on the pad, then they put little circular witch hazel pads down on the sock, then, once you've gone as much as you can (I peed a lot, and though it is scary to go number 2--especially if, like me, you received stitches--try to be brave and go if you can because you'll feel worse if you hold it in--and hopefully they've given you stool softener pills to take--I took some a few days prior to my scheduled induction because a friend wisely advised me to do so), they will fill a little squirt bottle for you with warm to hot water and you use that to clean yourself. I had no idea about this stuff until a few days beforehand, but the hot water feels amazingly soothing. I love that bottle thing. Once you've watered yourself down, you can use toilet paper to very gently pat dry (it's pointless to do so though because you're going to feel wet for a few days anyway) and then they spray you and your witch hazel pads with a numbing spray, (which I did not think numbed me that well, but oh well) and THEN you pull your underwear up with the pad, ice pack, and witch hazel pads in them and waddle (or limp if you're me) back to bed. So you see, using the bathroom becomes quite the process for a couple of weeks, but gradually you eliminate the ice pack and move to smaller pads, then stop using the spray and witch hazel pads until you're just using regular pads and (if you want to) using the spray bottle until your stitches have dissolved. This is not the rest of your life, so don't worry!

8. The bleeding might not be as bad as people say. For me, after the fourth day, my bleeding went down to less than the heaviest day of my period. I was kind of worried at first because everyone said the flow will be heavy for two weeks, but mine wasn't. In fact, it was hardly anything for the next few weeks. It did not go away completely until about five weeks, but it certainly was not what I'd been told to anticipate. A few times, the blood was brown or a chunk (sorry) would come out, but nurses reassured me that was all normal. The solid pieces that fall out are blood clots and small ones are normal. The only thing that is worrisome is if the bleeding increases or turns to gushing, or if you lose a clot the size of your fist (The size of your fist, you ask? Remember a whole baby came out of you). But everything else is pretty normal. It was kind of like having a long but light period for me. Everyone is different, but you might not bleed as much as you think.

9. Your belly will still be much larger than you'd think afterward. It's unfortunate, and I kept hoping that wouldn't be the case for me, but it was. Your belly will feel really weird, too. It weirded me out to push on the flabby thing that it had become because it feels kind of like jello. Or like one of those memory foam mattresses because when you push on it, it slowly fills in again. Thankfully, it's very temporary and the first week or two are by far the worst. Which brings me to my next point--

10. Breastfeeding can be a miraculous weight-loss exercise (for some people). Lots of people say so, but I didn't know how true it was until I was at a month post-partum and (much to my surprise) was feeling close to my normal self without having done virtually ANY other exercises. If you can breastfeed, DO IT. I know it is hard for many women for various reasons, but be persistent for a few weeks and if it gets easier (like it should for most women), keep going! I am definitely not anti-formula, but I am pro-breastfeeding. It's good for your baby and for you and it's free. Also, I am not sure how common it is for nurses to offer this (mine did), but I would not hesitate to ask for a nipple shield. It's a thin, clear plastic thing that protects your sensitive areola skin and it made nursing a bazillion times easier for me (with both babies). I think the shield is only intended to be used for a few weeks until the baby gets used to nursing, but I used mine for four months with Tenley and two months with my second, Declan. With the shield, I never had soreness or dryness or any of those things you read about and I attribute it to this amazing invention, which you can view here (I believe they're $9 at Wal-Mart. Worth it a million times over). And though lanolin cream is amazing, I haven't ever actually needed to use it because of the shield.

Quick update: I will tell you that I have received many comments from people who say that the nipple shield ruined their experience, but I have two other friends who, like me, felt that the shield saved their breastfeeding experience. I think it may depend also on how long you choose to use it. For me personally, and two of my friends, we used the shield quite a bit past the suggested time. I used mine for about 4 months until I decided I wanted to get my baby to adapt without it. The week transitioning was rough--not for Tenley, who thankfully figured it out quickly (and by then, my nipples were not so flat or inverted)--but for me and my nipples. Suddenly I understood the pain people were talking about. It took about a week for my skin to toughen up, and in the meantime, my nipples were more sore than usual, but I persevered and now I hope I can avoid using the shield with future pregnancies. In the end, I am just thankful that I was able to do it because (especially now 11 months later) I truly believe in the benefits of breast milk and nursing!

More about breastfeeding (if you are interested): as you are probably aware if you've read any books, the stuff your baby gets from you the first several days is a fatty substance called colostrum (or first milk). I know for me, I worried my baby wasn't getting enough to eat because the stuff doesn't exactly flow out like milk. But that's normal. Around day four or five post-partum, my milk came in. And then I KNEW it. I had been wondering the days before if the change in colostrum was milk. But when it happened, it was very obvious (and very white). It seriously happened overnight. I woke up and my breasts were HUGE. Like so big, I was disgusted (I do not personally care for big boobs, especially on me). And it wasn't long before the leaking began. Yes, you leak. If you're like me, you'll leak a lot. That was the worst thing for me for a while. I woke up a few nights in a huge puddle of milk. It felt like I'd wet my bra and shirt. But after a couple of weeks, my body regulated itself and things got a lot easier and a lot less wet. Also, in case you didn't know (because I know I didn't), when you nurse on one side, you leak on the other side. That's where these babies come in handy. If you intend to breastfeed, I personally think these breast cups are must-haves for a few reasons. If you're wondering what you do with them, it's pretty simple. While you nurse on one side, you put a cup over your nipple on the other side to catch the leaking milk. During my first two weeks or so, I would fill the other cup (they would actually overflow) with milk, which I decided to save in a sanitized bottle to store for later. I truly don't know how moms even want to breastfeed without these things. They save you from tons of messes and from spending tons of money on nursing pads which get expensive! By the way, if and when you do get nursing pads, I strongly advise getting Johnson's. I hated all of the other types I tried (and I tried like four other types because ladies gave me some). Another useful tool while breastfeeding is a nursing pillow. I've heard great things about the "Boppy" pillow, but I got mine for FREE (other than shipping!) by signing up for a free account at Motherhood Maternity (they sent me home with tons of amazing coupons include a code to get a free nursing pillow!). Here is the link to the site where I got mine (I have the red Starry Night one). I could spend an entire post on breastfeeding but the point is, there are tons of great tools and resources out there to make breastfeeding a lot easier for you. The hospital will likely offer you the chance to visit with a lactation specialist and give you plenty of pamphlets on places you can go to get help with breastfeeding. Plus the people at WIC are really pro-breastfeeding and have lots of free resources to help new moms. You can do it! It can be hard, but it's worth it.

Update: I just want to clarify that I am not anti-formula at all! Formula is truly amazing these days. But it's very expensive. And it doesn't go through babies as easily as breastmilk (which is also FREE!). Regardless, I don't want anyone to feel bad AT ALL if they choose to use formula (I was given formula myself as a baby for about six months)--you do what you can for your baby and yourself. I just personally really love nursing and want to encourage other moms to go for it if they can! (It's also something that is not worth stressing about because in the long-run, it won't matter to you, so don't feel bad either way).

11. The first two weeks are the worst. It gets better. I remember feeling so discouraged about my body and thinking I'd never be the same again. I was swollen and lumpy and did not feel very cute. But like I mentioned, by one month postpartum, I couldn't believe how much better I felt. I was almost back to normal--or at least, feeling normal. Going to the bathroom was less complicated. I began to have hope that I would be able to reach my pre-pregnancy weight sooner than I'd anticipated. My stitches had finally dissolved completely. Just plan for those first two weeks to be hard. Expect it. But remember that they will be over before you know it and you'll feel SO much better. You will be able to wipe again normally! You can get through it! And in the meantime, let people take care of you. This is your chance to ask your husband, family members, friends, ward members, and neighbors for lots of help. Ask for meals to be brought to you. If you need something from the store, let someone do it for you. You need the service and you're providing an opportunity for someone else's life to be blessed by offering their service to you. Win-win.

12. Stretch marks can appear after you've had the baby. It stinks, but it happened to me. I had only a few small stretch marks on my butt and hips before Tenley was born. But after, I got them on the upper part of the back of my thighs, bigger ones on my butt and hips, and even under my breasts, which I was not expecting. When you gain or lose a lot of weight really quickly, that's what happens. It doesn't happen to everyone--my sister-in-law I'm pretty sure only got a few on her butt--and some lucky ladies don't get any, but try to think of them as little marks of proof that you've created a miracle. Fortunately for most LDS women, they're usually in places that no one but your husband will ever see anyway. And they do fade quite a bit within a year. Mine kind of look like tiger claw marks. Even though it may be hard at first (truthfully, it was for me), embrace those purply-pink stripes because if you want more kids, you'll more than likely get them. And to me, if a few marks are the cost of creating a human being, they're totally worth it.

Update: I actually have grown to like the stretch marks on my thighs and sides now (not so much the ones under my bellybutton which came with my second baby because I look kind of wrinkly, but oh well;)! They marks are kind of silvery and faded and I like that they show I am a mother (especially because people rarely think I look my age).

13. You're going to be given a lot of  advice about raising your child. Some good, some awful. For some reason, when people see children, they can't help but speak their opinion--wanted or not--about how they should be raised. I'm sure many of these people mean well, but what was best for their sister's child or their neighbor's or their own child is NOT necessarily the best for yours. I suggest you plan how you will handle the unwanted suggestions before it happens to you otherwise you might be caught off guard by the outrageousness or rudeness. Personally, I think being kind is the best choice, so I just say, "Oh thank you for telling me your opinion," and let them think they gave me some life-changing advice. Motherhood also comes with a lot of judgment. I could speak volumes on this subject, but simply put, do your own thing. Forget what other moms are saying they're doing. You're going to do just fine and you know what is best for your children. Which brings us to this:

14. YOU know your own child best. You and no one else. Even better than your husband. It's true. Moms just spend so much time around their child that they cannot help but learn their signals and even their cries. My husband will often say, "Dear, she's hungry!" about our daughter, and I'll reply, "No honey, she's just tired." You really can tell. Sometimes--possibly more often than you'd like--you will feel overwhelmed by your baby's crying. Tenley hardly cried compares to most babies and I still felt (and feel) overwhelmed at times. Declan's behavior as a baby has been more average, but his crying doesn't stress me out so much. I think maybe I'm just used to it. But sometimes, babies just cry, and no amount of feeding, burping, walking, or rocking will soothe them. Just remember that it will end. They can't cry forever. If they sense that you're upset or frustrated, it only gets worse. So set your baby down in a safe spot for a few minutes, walk away, cry yourself, calm your nerves down so your baby will sense the change in your body language, check on her, pick her up and hold her close, and say a prayer. Remember that God loves that precious daughter of His and he will help you. To give an example, during one such episode of crying, I felt my frustration and dismay increasing to the point where I wanted to cry myself. Suddenly, I thought, She's Heavenly Father's daughter, too, and He cares about her happiness as much as I do. Then, while still walking around, bouncing Tenley in my arms, I prayed aloud: "Heavenly Father, please help Tenley feel happy. Please let her know she is loved and if she is feeling sick, please help me to know what to do so I can help her." As soon as I'd finished my plea, Tenley stopped crying. Like, right away. I couldn't believe it had happened so immediately, but I thanked Heavenly Father for choosing to answer my prayer directly at that time.

15. It really will feel like it flew by when you look back on it. Everyone says that, but I can't even believe how time has passed for me. Seriously, cherish every moment. Take a video at least once a week--you'll miss the newborn sounds and cries when your baby's voice changes. Take a photo every day. I'm serious. No one has ever regretted taking too many pictures of their child. Take baby footprints. And baby handprints. Snuggle your child. Keep a perspective. Think about how much you love those tender moments with your little one and remember that they won't always be as readily available. Memorize her face and the fragrant smell of her hair and skin. Kiss your child until your lips are chapped. There's no such thing as loving your baby too much. And they change SO fast! You won't even believe it.

Because this post has been so popular, I wrote this one on my additional thoughts as a second-time mom! Once again, my experience was wonderful (even better than the first time!) so I hope you'll read this if you are interested.

If you want to read more about pregnancy/giving birth, check out my official birth story, here!

What are some other tips pregnant ladies should know before going into labor? Postpartum?
If you had a different (but still positive) experience than me, please share! 

The Mother Games: 13 Games All Moms Play

 Catchy title, I know. It doesn't rhyme with The Hunger Games as well as I had hoped, but nevertheless, this post is about the crazy stuff that moms get to do. Who says being a stay-at-home mom isn't fun? I promise that if you try these games, you'll realize that motherhood is a blast. 

1. Cry Decoder
Object: Using only instinct, determine what your child needs based off of his or her tone of shrieking.
Commentary: Believe it or not, moms are given the ability to read cries (not quite as cool as reading minds, but better than nothing) and can do so in the face of chaos. Whether it's tired cry, a hungry cry, a tummy-ache cry, or something else, moms by far have the advantage in this game.

2. Avoid the Acid
Object: Dodge your child's projectile vomit/spit-up--even if it means you're sacrificing the floor. Or nearby furniture.
Commentary: This game is unpredictable and therefore requires much agility and skill on your part. Sometimes you don't know it's coming until it's too late, while other times you'll hear a wet sound from your child's mouth seconds before it happens which is your only warning. Best strategy: Keep those burp cloths handy and like a boy scout (or like Scar from Lion King), be prepared. And also prepare to never have totally clean carpets again.

3. Booger Chase
Object: Using whatever means necessary, get as much stuff out of baby's nose as possible before he or she starts crying--or, if you're persistent, before the crying turns into an uncontrollable fit of flailing limbs, making it impossible for you to continue. You're trying to get a stupid booger out of you baby's nostril which is like the size of a dried up pea (the nostril not the booger), and you think it's reachable, when all of a sudden your child breathes (for goodness' sake!) and sucks it back in. It's a battle to the death, I tell you.
Commentary: You know those stupid bulb things for getting snot out of your baby's tiny nose? Those things are ridiculously annoying. You'd think if someone could invent an iPad, someone else could figure out how to make a more efficient snot collector.

4. Mad Dash
Object: Put your baby down for a nap, then get as much done around the house as possible before the alarm goes off.* The alarm is your baby.
Commentary: This game is a fun one that most moms play daily. It's a little bit like Perfection (you know that game where you have to fit all the different-shaped pieces into their spots before the timer goes off suddenly and they all pop out?) because you never know how long you have. It could be ten minutes, it could be thirty minutes, it could be five hours. The best strategy is to plan ahead what tasks you want to do (and which ones you can do quickly) and then, as soon as you get the chance, seize it. *Variation: Some moms like to sneak in naps instead but I don't like to nap unless I'm guaranteed at least an hour's worth of sleep.

5. Run the Red
Object: Get home as quickly as possible with a crying baby in the backseat without losing your patience or breaking the law.
Commentary: How many times have you gotten almost all of your errands done and you're about to do one last thing before heading home when your child alerts you that you actually ARE done and you're going home to feed him/her NOW. In this moment you wonder for a fleeting moment if you can do just one last quick thing before heading home. Then you remember how much of a pain it is to unbuckle and re-buckle your child, especially a crying one, into his or her car seat and decide you're done. Unfortunately for you, baby is the boss. And no amount of soothing words, music, or rattle-shaking is going to help you now. Getting home fast with a crying baby is a kind of paradox. I can assure you, nine times out of ten you will hit every red light and be surrounded by the worst drivers on the road. Or at least it seems that way (darn you, Murphy's law!). Just remember that it's not the end of the world (though your baby may sure be acting like it is) and getting home safely is what's important. If you can't handle the pressure, no worries, just pull over and take care of things before you go any farther.

6. Maximum Load
Object: Test how much your baby's diaper can hold without developing into a blowout.
Commentary: This is kind of a game of chance. Sometimes, changing your baby's diaper right away is the right thing to do. Other times, you can sense that he or she is not quite done, and you'll be changing him or her again in a few minutes if you don't just wait. Then there's the question of changing your child's diaper if it's just a little pee. Sigh, the moral battles we go through daily while caring for our children. Honestly, I usually leave Tenley in a peed-in diaper for a little while because diapers are designed to absorb the liquid so your child can't feel it. Kind of like pads, ladies. But if it's poop, I've learned that waiting is super risky if you don't want to put your child into an entirely new outfit.

7. Catch the Splat
Object: Using a burp cloth (or in some situations, your sleeve, a blanket, whatever you have handy...), wipe your child's spit-up or drool BEFORE it gets all over his or her adorable little outfit and leave the front of the onesie soaking.
Commentary: I cannot stand when Tenley's front gets all wet with spit-up or drool because, first off, it's annoying (who wants to sit in wet things all day) and secondly, she starts to smell. Like yucky old milk. And it's not cute. This game is a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing that can happen anywhere at any time no matter how inconvenient.

8. Stop the Paci
Object: Keep the pacifier from being projected out of your child's mouth onto the germ-ridden floor.
Commentary: This is probably my least favorite game. I feel like I am constantly checking Tenley's pacifier for hairs or bit of floor, or else popping it in my own mouth to clean it off after a fall. It's gross. But I willingly sacrifice my health to keep Tenley healthy. Bonus points awarded if, like me, you have cat-like reflexes and can catch the pacifier in mid-air 50% of the time.

9. Shoe Drop
Object: Keep your baby's socks and shoes on all day.
Commentary: That's it, that's the game. But it actually is a challenge, especially with little babies who do not seem to like either items very much. Bonus points if you get the socks or shoes to stay on by the time you get home. Points taken away if you lose a sock or shoe.

10. One-Handed
Object: Do anything with a baby in one arm. Cook dinner. Take a shower. Get dressed. Use the bathroom. Do laundry. Write a blog post.
Commentary: Seriously, try it. Challenge yourself even more by making that a crying or flailing baby.

11. No-Handed
Object: Do regular tasks with no hands. (Check out this funny article about you can prepare to be a parent if you want some ideas.)
Commentary: Some babies are two-handed babies. They can sense when you aren't giving them your full undivided attention and not only want to be held and bounced but burped or patted, too. When this happens, moms have to get creative. Picking up toys or socks with one's feet is not uncommon. Bonus points to those of you who have had to use your mouth.

12. Hide-and-Seek
Object: Get your child in his or her own crib to sleep, then sneak out of the room without making a sound or being seen.
Commentary: This is a lot harder than regular hide-and-seek. Children seem to have mom radar that alerts them to your presence, whether you're crazy good at being silent or just regular silent.

13. Play Doctor
Object: Using your limited resources (a thermometer, children's tylenol, the internet) figure out if your child is really sick or just upset.
Commentary: From clipping your child's fingernails (which is like trying to thread a needle in 50mph winds) to observing the color, texture, amount, etc. of your child's poop, you now play a minor role as a children's doctor with possibly no training whatsoever. Good thing you at least have your maternal instincts to rely on. And your own mom. And the internet.

Tenley's face when I try some of these games with her.

Now after reading all of these, I ask: Why again, aren't American mothers paid to stay at home with their children? Don't ask me, I wasn't at the meeting. But if I had been, that would have been the sole item on my agenda. (If you like that idea, this post may interest you!) I really do think moms deserve to be paid for staying with their children, because raising the next generation (WELL) truly is the most important thing anyone could do.

I just adore my silly, sweet daughter ;)

What do you think? 
Should moms be paid to stay at home? Why or why not?
Have you ever played (or witnessed someone else playing) any of these games? Which ones?

Post-Partum Weirdness: Reflecting on My First Pregnancy

I have a confession. And it will surely weird some people out. But I want to talk about it, so here it is:

Not only did I love being pregnant, but I loved giving birth. 

K, now feel free to call me odd, but even with four hours of pushing a little human person (with a huge head!) out of a place that does not quite seem big enough to do so, in a very weird--possibly sadistic--way, I enjoyed it. I can already hear some of you: What is she smoking? Well, trust me--I'm not smoking anything and I'd like to think I'm quite sound of mind, but it's true. Hear me out--

I had a very easy first pregnancy. I mean, complaints from previous posts aside, I look back and think, "Geez, that was nothing." And really, they weren't. If occasional discomfort is the trade for growing a little person that can make you happier than you ever dreamed, you'd think so too. I never threw up or had anything out-of-the-ordinary happen, and my doctor basically confirmed each visit that my pregnancy was what the medical world would label completely average. I had all the typical worries of a first-time mom, including (but not limited to) fear of miscarriage, fear of labor, and fear of being a crappy mom--but I got to the point where I realized that worrying did me NO good. Finally, I told myself that whatever is supposed to happen, will happen, and as long as I'm doing the best I can, it'll work out. If my child is supposed to live, she will. Take a deep breath and have faith.

Giving birth was hard. Like, the hardest thing I've ever done. But it felt like a kind of challenge--a good one. Having a baby (like actually giving birth) was, in a weird way, a high for me that I've never experienced before (obviously, but you know what I mean). It was invigorating. My feelings about this weren't instant...but it wasn't very long after having Tenley that I felt energized in an unexpected way. And it wasn't just adrenaline (because that does kick in when one is essentially trying to push a bowling ball out of a gum-ball machine). It was more than that--I felt like I had accomplished my potential as a woman. I did something that fewer than half of people alive today can do. I made a person! Not single-handedly, but let's be honest, I did most of the work in that respect.

I am no feminist, but if I were, I can tell you that more than anything else, having a baby helped me feel the measure of my creation. In other words, I'm glad I'm a woman. I'm glad God chose us to carry and deliver and raise his most precious beings.

And I want to do it again. 

See?? Look how happy I look! Of course this was also right after I'd gotten the epidural, but...

True happiness is holding your new baby.

Being a new mom has been amazing. Tenley has been really easy on me so far. She cries and wakes me up and poops a LOT like every baby, but based on the complaints I hear some mothers making, I have it super easy. My body, at three months post-partum, is almost completely back to what it was before I got pregnant, which I certainly never expected (and which I know is NOT the experience for most women--breastfeeding was the key for me if you're wondering! If you can do it, DO!). I've finally established some form of a normal routine again. But most important of all: I'm happy. She's happy. Husband's happy. Life is good--to put it mildly. And this happiness I've never felt is so great that I want to share it. And feed it. By adding more humans to our family.

And while I'm thinking about it--right here, right now, I'm vowing NOT to look at useless advice on the Internet for child #2. Seriously, 92.5% of what I read was--there's no other way to say it--complete CRAP, at least for me. It didn't apply to me or my situation, and nothing that the millions of ladies on the motherhood/pregnancy chats said, happened to me. My personal situation was unique. If you're a woman, your personal situation will be unique. Or your wife's will be. If and when the time comes, trust your instincts and motherly intuition, and more than anything TRUST GOD. He loves you. He cares about you and your worries. Like this pin says:

Does anyone feel the same way? 

In a weird way did you like giving birth?

Anyone disagree?

The Perfect Gap

Dalin and I have been thinking. Well, let's be honest--I've been thinking. Thinking about our family. Now that I'm a stay-at-home mom, I have very different priorities. Feeding the baby comes before everything--seriously, everything. Even before eating myself. I'm so busy taking care of Tenley half the time that I forget to eat. One night, it was almost midnight and I was in bed when all of a sudden I realized I hadn't had breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Just lots to drink (which I realize is something I constantly want since I'm nursing) and a few snacks. I hadn't even felt hungry, I was so distracted. Anyway, my priorities have changed which is what one would naturally expect when having a baby, but I didn't realize how much of my day would be filled with taking care of that baby. Only during her many brief naps do I get the chance to try and get schoolwork done, wash dishes, pick up the apartment, or gather laundry together. I'm lucky if I can sneak in a shower somewhere in my day. And more often than not, the only things that I get accomplished some days are feeding and changing Tenley.

As a stay-at-home mom, I consider this my job. It truly is a job, much more than I thought it would be. Not that it's really particularly hard, but it certainly is time-consuming. Instead of working 40 hours a week, I now work 24 hours a day. I work the night shift and the day shift, and am basically on-call 100% of the time. In addition, I am the maid, maintenance, interior decorator, planner, chef, and driver. With all these jobs, the payments I receive are joy, satisfaction, and eternal rewards, which is more than enough for me; however I do think some financial reimbursement would be nice especially considering that I am now one of the (rare) few women that stay home with their children and ensure that they are being cared for adequately and being taught to have faith, morals, and values, but unfortunately the world isn't really at a place where it rewards people for those things. Apparently they aren't that important to mankind anymore. I didn't mean to sound bitter in this post (though I was mostly just being sarcastic) so let me get back on track.

If you know me at all, you know I have always wanted a big family. Twelve used to be the magic number because I wanted to have a "Cheaper by the Dozen" family (the book version mostly--though the movie version is still fun). I thought that having that many siblings would be a blast and family reunions would be even more fun. I still think a family of twelve would be awesome, but over the years I eventually settled on seven children. Seven would be the perfect number. Yeah, for the world today, seven is still a lot. But I want my own version of the Weasley family (Harry Potter reference) and I always thought six boys and one girl would be a blast. At this rate, I am doubting whether I will get my six boys I originally wanted, but I love having a daughter so much now that I'm fine with that. The big question is, when should we have our next child? I'm truthfully on board for sooner rather than later. That's why I discussed my being a stay-at-home mom above. That is now my job and I'm going to do my best to succeed at it. So why wait? If that's what I am doing, then I may as well have my other children here, too. Maybe that reasoning is weird, but I have had so much joy with Tenley already that I cannot even wait to meet my other children. Anyhow, I'm not talking about having a baby nine months from now, but I am wondering what the "ideal" age gap is between children. I loved being a year apart from Payson (not that I want something that close) but what do you think? One year? One and a half? Two? Four? We probably will be praying for this answer on our own, but I am truly curious about what you think.

So help me out. What do *you* think the perfect age gap is between children?

Love watching her snuggle with her dad. She loves him so much already!

Attention Moms, Future Moms, & Soon-to-be Moms: Awesome Deals

I did not know this, and I thought it was too awesome not to share.

Apparently, when you make an account at the register of Motherhood Maternity, they give you a little gift bag that includes some samples, plus a bunch of papers with coupons and information about cord blood banking, etc. I was about to throw it all away when I realized that some of the discounts are actually really good including a few that give you items 100% free!

I just got a carseat cover, nursing cover, nursing pillow, and sling for FREE besides shipping! (It's like $12 shipping for each item, but so worth it because the items all together would have cost more than $165, plus I needed all of these things!)

They have cute patterns for each item and after you make your first purchase, they provide a code that you can use for the other sites and get more stuff for 100% free. I figured they would make me buy something else in order to get the deal, but all I had to do was pay for shipping. I should receive the items next week so I will let you know how they turn out but I've heard from a few people that they loved everything they got. I am so excited!!!!! I also received a $20 giftcard to Shutterfly (which allows you to make some kind of online album, etc. so I will be saving that for when our tiny sweetheart is born!)

Here are the sites:

carseatcanopy.com

I loved this one... 

Grey and white damask print with lavender minky material

....but ultimately decided on this one (because it was more gender neutral and I have to have sons someday...we're the only ones carrying on the Gunnell name! Eek!).

Black and white pattern with grey minky material

uddercovers.com

This is the one I chose:

This one is called Taylor and I love how bright and happy it is!

sevenslings.com

I had the hardest time picking a sling pattern!

I chose the lavender Koi pattern even though I loved the Sonic, Black, and Cyrus ones, too.

nursingpillow.com

I am so glad I was able to find one of these for a great price! I know I'll be needing it. 

This is Starry Night, but I liked Serenity a lot, too!

Anyway, the stuff is pretty cute and I was able to get a great deal, so I hope this helps someone else! Three of the codes they gave me that I didn't need to use (because I already had some from Motherhood Maternity) were: UCOVERS, CARSEAT, and SEVEN, so try them out (each one should work for all four sites unless they've been taken by someone else).

Did you know about this? If so, what other great deals are out there for baby stuff that I should know about??

The Sanctity of Human Life

This article appeared on my Yahoo newsfeed yesterday. It really sickens me that this is even something society has to deal with but that's where we are. 

I feel strongly that abortion is wrong. Many people--say, about half the planet--disagree with me. I truly cannot fathom how some people can justify the preservation of trout eggs and other animals such as these and ignore the need to preserve human life. Maybe they think there is some need for population control (which is not true at all--we humans do not even have a sufficient replacement rate for the population as it is, as partially described in this article about demographics) or maybe it is their need to feel like they have complete control over their lives that makes them feel this way. Maybe they have never felt their unborn child's heartbeat or felt their baby's first movements because I certainly cannot see how someone could experience either of these miracles and still claim that a fetus or embryo is not "living." Why is it that when one's heart ceases to beat, they are medically considered "dead" but when a heart begins beating as early as four or five weeks, a fetus is not considered "living." What is the point of having a heartbeat if it does not give us life?

The claim that an unborn baby is "not living" is one of the biggest fallacies and absolute untruths of our time. And somehow people tell themselves this lie and accept it. This is justification, people. Humans are constantly trying to justify their actions and behaviors, and if telling themselves that a fetus with a beating heart is not alive, then it is sad and embarrassing that they could be so easily convinced that there is no sanctity in human life. 

Another argument I find ridiculous is when humans suggest that these girls "aren't ready" or "mature enough" to be parents. To those who suggest this, I would agree with you. But if they believe they are mature enough to participate in sexual behaviors, then they better be willing to accept the consequences associated with that choice. I realize that the article I am responding to did not directly or fully address the subject of abortion, but I am doing so because my opinion on birth control comes down to this: If you believe that you are "old enough" or "mature enough" to be sexually active, then you must be what we grown-ups call "accountable" for your actions. If you break the law, you might be arrested. If you cheat on a test, you will likely fail. If you break a promise, you very often lose someone's trust. If you murder another human being, you go to prison. These are consequences. Say you somehow avoid getting arrested, or avoid failing the test because no one catches you. Does that make your decision any better or any more right? It is the same with sexual activity. If, due to careless behavior, you get pregnant, you have the choice to accept the consequences, take responsibility, and raise yourself or even give away the child that you have actively--if not willfully--created. You can also attempt to hide what you did and cover it up with an abortion because you aren't ready to have a child, or it was just a one-time thing. Just because others do not know about it, does not make it acceptable. 

It reminds of this scripture in 2 Nephi 28: 8-9 (if you don't believe in the scriptures, feel free to pass over this part):

"And there shall also be many which shall say: Eat, drink, and be merry, nevertheless, fear God--he will justify in committing a little sin; yea, lie a little, take the advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbor; there is no harm in this; and do all these things, for tomorrow we die; and if it so be that we are guilty, God will beat us with a few stripes, and at last we shall be saved in the kingdom of God. Yea, and there shall be many which shall teach after this manner, false and vain and foolish doctrines, and shall be puffed up in their hearts, and shall seek deep to hide their counsels from the Lord; and their works shall be in the dark."

Many feminists and pro-choice activists argue that women should have "absolute control" over their own bodies. They do. Women have the ability to choose if they will be sexually active and the ability to choose how they prevent pregnancy. But why would a loving God (or anyone with a human heart) find terminating an unwanted pregnancy justifiable? Women have the power to create life. If they abuse it, just like anything else in life, they should be required to accept the consequences. I often see people protest to this with pointless questions such as, "If they don't want the baby, isn't it better that the baby is terminated than raised by unready or unwilling parents?" No sir, I don't believe in children being raised properly by loving parents. OF COURSE I DO. How idiotic a question is that? But taking that unborn baby's life is NOT a proportionate response! Adoption by loving parents is always a viable option but then those same people always insist, "There are already too many children being put up for adoption and too many who never get adopted." To this I respond with, yes, that is unfortunately true. Too many people have already made the choice to put their child up for adoption, whatever the reason. But how can you argue that those babies would have been better off dead, or rather "terminated," than allowed to live? Please tell me that the majority of those people on this list of orphans as well as the thousands of others that have lived on this earth believe they would have been better off having never existed than growing up an orphan. I highly doubt you would receive sizable positive acclamation or agreement. 

When a woman chooses to have an abortion, she is generally met with sympathy and understanding. What about the little life that will never be because of her decision? An embryo--and even a birthed baby--is not given the choice to live. It depends entirely on its parents, and in particular, its mother to keep it alive. Why would he or she not be given the same rights as any other human being? Does age matter? The life of a human suddenly matters when it is born at 40 weeks, but not beforehand? What about those born as prematurely as 23 weeks? They are not a fully developed baby until 40 weeks, so that baby should not matter as much, right? Because a fetus is not as much a human at 8 weeks than a still-developing baby at 20? "As much" as you try to justify it, the argument stands that those who support abortion do not seem to value human life as much or at least do not respect it enough to preserve it. 

Sexual intimacy is sacred. It is God-given. It is not only for creating life, but for expressing love and creating oneness. But I believe it is most powerful and most meaningful within marriage. The world disagrees? No kidding. Sexuality is a common joke in the eyes of most. It is purely physical and recreational. This quote by Billy Graham best portrays the brief version of what Mormons or Latter-day Saints believe in this regard: 

"The Bible celebrates sex and its proper use, presenting it as God-created, God-ordained, God-blessed. It makes plain that God himself implanted the physical magnetism between the sexes for two reasons: for the propagation of the human race, and for the expression of that kind of love between man and wife that makes for true oneness. His commandment to the first man and woman to be 'one flesh' was as important as his command to 'be fruitful and multiply.'" 

The long version, if you're truly curious, is explained well in this article. Those who mistakenly are under the impression that Mormons and other Christians believe that the only purpose for sexuality is to have children are completely wrong. That aspect of sexuality is very important, too, but in its own time. 

I am not naive enough to believe that most people will stop having sex before marriage just because it might result in an unwanted pregnancy. Humans are too selfish and too concerned that their own needs are satisfied for this to be the case. But if you consider yourself old enough to be sexually active, I would hope you would be willing to consider the consequences should your contraceptive methods fail. 

I will share that I chose to be on a birth control pill for the first year of our marriage. This decision was partially because I suffer from major cramps during my period and the pill helped relieve them, partially because my period was irregular and it helped regulate it, and partially because I wanted to have some time with my husband so we could adjust to one another before starting a family. That was a choice we prayerfully made as a couple. Had we still gotten pregnant before anticipated, we would have been elated and would have understood that obviously God's timing was different from our own. After one year and two months, we decided we wanted to stop using the pill and leave it up to Him because at that point, we were starting to get very baby hungry. Sure enough, after just one month, we discovered we were pregnant.

Human life is special. Our Heavenly Father loves every one of us and I imagine that it saddens him tremendously to see so many of His children aborting the growing embryos or fetuses they actively created. I have heard some cruelly and disdainfully suggest that an embryo is nothing more than "a sac of cells." To that I say it is then a growing sac of cells with a heartbeat and the potential to become a human baby. You can justify its supposed unimportance as much as you want, but I will never be convinced that the baby now nearly fully formed inside me was ever just "a sac of cells" to our Heavenly Father.

I write this post not to argue or to convince (as that rarely seems to be effective with any sort of argument) but to inform. You may disagree with every single thing I have written thus far, but I assure you that you cannot disagree with this basic fact: You were born. The efforts of a man and a woman together gave you life. No one got in the way of that. You sadly may wish you had never been born, but I do not believe that gives you or anyone else the right to choose who should be able to live and who should not.

"The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction, is the first and only object of good government."

~Thomas Jefferson

My precious growing daughter. She was just at 16 weeks here, but already incredibly active and very much alive. 

Why I Don't Serve Others...Sometimes

K, the title is a little misleading...I do serve others, or at least I try to whenever I can. I love service and my parents are wonderful examples of it. But there are some types of service that I am reluctant to offer help with. For example, the ladies in my ward have this Facebook group where pretty much daily someone will create a post requesting help or offering it to others. And sometimes these wonderful ladies ask someone to watch their kids. 

Now, I seriously love children and I loved being Primary President in my ward for a year, but watching other people's children alone kind of freaks me out. Yes, I used to babysit all the time and that wasn't really an issue because they were kids I knew from church or the neighborhood, but it is scary to watch an infant or child that you don't know really well. You don't know how their parents want you to respond to certain situations and you don't want to do something that they wouldn't do with their child. Babies especially make me nervous. When they cry, I immediately get stressed out because I don't know how to help them. Yes, I know how to change a diaper and feed a baby. I also know the basics of trying to put a baby to sleep...but every child is so different and unless it's your own, you might not have the instincts to help in just the right way. 

I fully expect motherhood to be a challenge. But I also believe it will be a lot of fun. I was promised to have "joy in motherhood" and I am certain that for the most part, it will be a joy. Dalin and I love talking about bringing our little girl to see the places we love and getting to see the excitement she feels when we go on vacation as a family. We are so excited for the future and I definitely am looking forward with more eagerness than apprehension. And realistically, nobody knows how to be a mother their first time around. Eve had to figure it out all on her own with no examples! I can't even imagine that. At least I know how my own mom raised me and have something to go by! 

Anyway, the point I was trying to make is that I do want to help when I see these moms requesting help watching their children...I'm just too scared to offer. When I have my own kids, maybe I'll be able to say, "Sure, bring him or her over anytime!" but as of right now, I'm still too scared to do it alone. 

Does anyone else feel the same way about watching other people's children? 

Did it go away after you had kids?

Mother. The Most Important Job.

My lovely, lovely mother :)

Mother's day is coming, men and children. And women with moms...so everyone. You now have just over a week to prepare. Now is the time to think about finding a way to make up for all the naughtiness and trouble and grief you caused your mother growing up. She made tons and tons of sacrifices for you, the least you can do is write her a note. If nothing else, be sure to call her and tell her you love her. She probably already knows it, but I guarantee she never gets tired of hearing her children say that to her. For you married men who do not yet have children, think of this: Someday, your wife will be giving birth to YOUR child. She has dedicated her whole life to preparing for this position, and in the meantime, she is probably mothering you so be sure to do something for her. Even the smallest gesture will mean much more to her than you might think. I know I can't help but hold onto every single little note Dalin writes me. I love them so much. I even hang some on the fridge because they make me so happy every time I see them. And just one more thing--do not forget those women in your life who have, at times, been like mothers to you. There are so many women out there who have not had the opportunity to have children of their own and so have dedicated much of their lives to being a mother to everyone. I can think of a number of women who fall into this category for me. They probably do not even know the impact they have had on my life. So if you get the chance, thank those women who have similarly impacted you, too. It will bless their lives. 

In honor of all mothers, I wanted to talk about how completely ecstatic I am to be given the opportunity to be one myself. I love my baby girl and cannot wait to see her and get to know her personality and become her friend. I can tell by the way she wiggles all the time that she is going to be so much fun and a joy to raise. 

Society has an unfortunately negative perspective of motherhood. Many call it a pain, a hassle, a sacrifice. It is a sacrifice. But the best definition of sacrifice in my mind (straight from Dictionary.com) is: "the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim." Interesting that it mentions surrendering something desirable (also good) for something of higher or more pressing claim. The value of a good mother simply cannot be communicated in writing. One HUGE reason the world is growing so wicked (I believe) is because of the destruction of the family. Women just are not taking their responsibility of motherhood serious enough. And the family is suffering because of it. As all Latter-day Saints know, the family is "the fundamental unit of society." This means when society suffers, it is because the family is suffering.

Dalin and I have been very fortunate to have support on both sides of our family. They both are excited for the growth of our little family. Not everyone is so lucky. Many couples are encouraged to "wait to have kids--travel first--you have plenty of time." These are common phrases heard by young married couples. And to me, it's sad. Because when is anyone more happy than when they are with their parents and siblings and loved ones? For me, never. 

I loved this article which describes many of those negative experiences I mentioned. This woman does a fabulous job at creating a positive outlook on motherhood and bearing children. I loved in particular these lines from it:

"If you are a pregnant woman, boldly declare your excitement for your baby bump! 

When you are in the midst of bottles and binkies and spit up and tantrums and sleepless nights – do not let the enemy whisper in your ear – “this is too much.” Lean on Jesus and thank God for giving you SO much!

When the world says, you are too young, remember: Mary was young.

When the world says, you are too old, remember: Sarah was old.

When the world says, you don’t know what you are doing, remember Eve – who had no role models at all…she just walked with the King."

I thought this was great. I mean truly, what job out there is more important than motherhood? There is literally nothing I want more than to be a great mother (other than being with my family forever). And although it is wonderful in some ways that Dalin and I will have had two terrific years of marriage all to ourselves, I wish in many ways that we had just ignored the words of others about waiting to have children (which is not why we did wait, by the way) and started sooner. I have already loved this part of our marriage possibly more than any other part and I know it will only get better. We can hardly wait until we can hold our baby girl and love her and raise her to be a righteous daughter of God. 

There are so many things I never thought I would care about until I was put into the position I am in now (being pregnant I mean). Like modesty, for example. My mother was pretty strict when it came to modesty and now I am so grateful she was. It drove me crazy that she cared about it so much and even though I was obedient to her and chose not go against the standards, I was annoyed and embarrassed when she let me know something was too short or too low or too revealing in any way. She was also always sure to inform me if I was wearing too much makeup. That embarrassed me and usually made me upset with her but looking back, I am so glad she cared enough to tell me no. Especially now when I see so many girls whose moms clearly did not tell them "no" enough. 

I know I will be following in her footsteps because I care. A lot. I do not want ANYONE looking at my daughter in a disrespectful way. I want my daughter to have enough confidence in her inner beauty that she does not become absorbed by her outward appearance. I want her to know that her body is a temple and that it should be treated sacred. Our bodies are on loan. They eventually will be returned and hopefully they will be in better than "fair" condition. I hope I can help my daughter to understand that as a daughter of a Heavenly King, she is royalty. And as such, she should behave like it.

Growing up, I had the Gospel Standards poster put out by the Church for Primary children hanging on the inside of the door of my wardrobe. I read it frequently and these lines in particular have stayed with me: 

I will keep my mind and body sacred and pure, and I will not partake of things that are harmful to me. I will dress modestly to show respect for Heavenly Father and myself.

At the time, I couldn't understand how dressing immodestly was disrespectful. Since reading The Anatomy of Peace, I think the best way to explain how it is disrespectful is by describing how it is a way of willfully objectifying oneself. As I now have been trying hard to view others as human beings and individuals rather than objects or obstacles, I can clearly see why immodesty turns women (in particular) into mere objects. I certainly am no feminist, but I think many of those with feminist views would agree that women who do not respect the privacy of, and in reality, the sacredness of their own bodies, cannot expect men to respect those things. That would be both unfair and unrealistic. If we want to be empowered as women, we must do things that empower us. Only we can bear our own children. Only we can know what it is to truly nurture and care for a newborn. Only we can follow our natural maternal instincts to know what our child needs. I think many feminists have it all backwards--we shouldn't push away our God-given role as mothers because we mistakenly believe it is demeaning--we should embrace our Individual Worth and our Divine Nature and recognize that we are creating and managing the very unit which is the cornerstone of a functioning society. 

If you do not believe me, please ask yourself where would anyone be without their mother. For one bleak moment, consider what society would be like if there were no mothers who cared. I'm going to take a leap and hypothesize that there would be a lot more crime and sadness in the world. I have a very loving and caring father, but my mom is the one who for the most part taught me how I should treat others. She taught me the importance of being kind and the importance of sharing. She taught me how to make friends and how to keep them. She taught me how to apologize and how to be forgiving. She also taught me the importance of being sensitive to the feelings of others. That's just how it is--most women are better at understanding the emotional needs of a person. It's just a part of female nature. 

I am so grateful for my mother and for all that she continually does for me. She made sacrifices, some of which were probably difficult to make. But they were for the purpose of building something greater. I am thankful to have had morals instilled in me while growing up. I am only now realizing how uncommon that is. Some families just don't have good values like integrity, service, hard work, etc. I am doing my best to follow in my mother's footsteps by building a home that will be a place of peace and joy, where the Spirit can always reside. In a very small way, I am contributing to the building of the Kingdom. I love you, Mom. Thanks for being my second best friend ;)