Tuesday, October 30

gunnell family home evening

Well, Dalin and I have decided that we need to make FHE (family home evening) a priority in our little home.  And so we have started the tradition of finding an article to share with one another on Monday night.

Yesterday, I started off and shared a portion of a talk given by President Hinckley. It came from my Marriage and Family homework but I had just loved it so much I wanted to share it. The talk is entitled, "Cornerstones of a Happy Home."

Here is our happy household ;)
Here are some of my favorite parts of it:

Equality in Marriage
To men within the sound of my voice, wherever you may be, I say, if you are guilty of demeaning behavior toward your wife, if you are prone to dictate and exercise authority over her, if you are selfish and brutal in your actions in the home, then stop it! Repent! Repent now while you have the opportunity to do so.
To you wives who are constantly complaining and see only the dark side of life, and feel that you are unloved and unwanted, look into your own hearts and minds. If there is something wrong, turn about. Put a smile on your faces. Make yourselves attractive. Brighten your outlook. You deny yourselves happiness and court misery if you constantly complain and do nothing to rectify your own faults. Rise above the shrill clamor over rights and prerogatives, and walk in the quiet dignity of a daughter of God.
The trick, my brethren and sisters is to enjoy the journey, traveling hand in hand, in sunshine and storm, as companions who love one another. Anyone can do it with a disciplined effort to live the gospel. Remember, “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it” (Psalm 127:1).

Four Cornerstones
"...I have long felt that happiness in marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one’s companion. That involves a willingness to overlook weaknesses and mistakes."
1. Mutual Respect
The first of these I choose to call mutual respect. Each of us is an individual. Each of us is different. There must be respect for those differences, and while it is important and necessary that both the husband and the wife strive to ameliorate those differences, there must be some recognition that they exist and that they are not necessarily undesirable. There must be respect one for another, notwithstanding such differences. In fact, the differences may make the companionship more interesting.
"Husbands must be considerate of their wives, who have the greater responsibility not only of bearing children but of caring for them through childhood, and should help them conserve their health and strength. Married couples should exercise self-control in all of their relationships. They should seek inspiration from the Lord in meeting their marital challenges and rearing their children according to the teachings of the gospel.”
Husbands, wives, respect one another. Live worthy of the respect of one another. Cultivate that kind of respect which expresses itself in kindness, forbearance, patience, forgiveness, true affection, without officiousness and without show of authority.
2. The Soft Answer
I pass now to the second cornerstone. For want of a better name I call it the soft answer.
The writer of Proverbs long ago declared, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).
It seems to me that communication is essentially a matter of talking with one another. Let that talk be quiet for quiet talk is the language of love. It is the language of peace. It is the language of God. It is when we raise our voices that tiny mole hills of difference become mountains of conflict.
There is need for much discipline in marriage, not of one’s companion but of one’s self. Husbands, wives, remember, “He [or she] that is slow to anger is better than the mighty” (Proverbs 16:32). Cultivate the art of the soft answer. It will bless your homes, it will bless your lives, it will bless your companionships, it will bless your children.
3. Financial Honesty
Cornerstone number three is financial honesty. I am satisfied that money is the root of more trouble in marriage than all other causes combined. 
Those who live honestly with God are more likely to live honestly with one another and their associates. Further, as they budget for their tithes and offerings they will cultivate a discipline in the handling of their resources.
4. Family Prayer
The final cornerstone on which to build your home is family prayer. I know of no other practice that will have so salutary an effect upon your lives as will the practice of kneeling together in prayer. The very words, Our Father in Heaven, have a tremendous effect. You cannot speak them with sincerity and with recognition without having some feeling of accountability to God. The little storms that
seem to afflict every marriage become of small consequence while kneeling before the Lord and addressing him as a suppliant son and daughter.
Your daily conversations with him will bring peace into your hearts and a joy into your lives that can come from no other source. Your companionship will sweeten through the years. Your love will strengthen. Your appreciation one for another will grow.

Obviously I had a hard time cutting things out. 
After me, Dalin shared a talk he had chosen entitled, "Have I Ever Told You...?" by Mark E. Martinsen. 

It speaks of sharing stories with your children to instill in them a sense of heritage. I loved the portion that Dalin shared with me. I think this is a terrific tradition in the making. I know that I love hearing the stories that my family holds dear--particularly those that teach lessons and truth. 

If you want to read the article Dalin shared with me, you can find it here!

We read our chapter in the Book of Mormon afterward, and sang a song together. 
(I'll be the first to say that neither of us sing that well and so Dalin chose for us to sing "White Christmas" and we sang the entire thing). 

This is my favorite version of the song--I am in love with the classic Christmas songs:

Cute FHE job board--Dalin and I have one given to us from his mom--
this isn't it, but someday I will post a picture!
I loved the Spirit that brought to our home. It made me feel so happy. I thought, "We are doing this. We did it." We had our first Family Home Evening in a while and intend to make it a habit in our lives. 

I am grateful to have a supportive husband who can be so insightful. I love him lots! 

What do you do for FHE?  Do you have any fun ideas?

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