Wednesday, April 23

Guess What? It IS Okay

I just love being a mom. I cannot say it enough. I am still far from being the type of mother I'd like to become, but I'm learning and I'm very happy with how things are going right now. I feel confident in my mothering abilities and I know I will continue to learn and improve. I really feel like I have the best job ever and I can't wait to have even more wonderful babies.

A few months ago, I saw an article which essentially scolded parents for using the phrase, "It's okay!" to attempt to comfort their child when he or she gets hurt. It claimed that using this phrase belittles the child's feelings or pain. And for those who watched Juan Pablo's season of The Bachelor, we know how annoying "Ees okay" can be when used at the wrong time. But this phrase has been on my mind since I read the article. Every time Tenley tips over or bonks her head, I remember the article and though my natural instinct is to tell her that everything is okay, I instead would try to ask, "Are you alright, sweetheart?" even though of course she can't answer me yet. But while this has happened several times in the last few months as Tenley learns to sit up, reach, crawl, etc., my feelings about those words have started to change. I have started to realize that it is okay for her to get hurt. As much as I want to protect her from everything that could ever harm her, it's simply impossible and it's not meant to be that way. She needs to experience pain and sadness to know joy. That is why we are on this earth. That is why we have our agency. We are supposed to fail. And that is why we have been given and must rely on our Savior. Jesus Christ atoned for our sins so that we can return to live with our heavenly parents and family after we leave this life.

Now let's be clear--that does not mean Tenley's sorrows do not affect me. I am the biggest empathizer and any time she is hurt or sad, I feel hurt or sad too. When she cries, I want to cry with her because she's my precious baby and I want her to be healthy and happy always. But I have decided that it is fine to comfort her with "It's okay," because it is okay. She will be okay and it's okay for her to be a little sad sometimes. I'm still going to ask her if she is alright and see what I can do to help her get through her pains once she is able to convey that to me, but for now I will continue to remind her that things are okay. She is safe and her mother and father and her Father in Heaven love her so much.

I imagine how our Heavenly Father must feel when He sees any one of His precious sons or daughters hurt. I know that He values our feelings and because of that, I know that ultimately, it is okay to get hurt. It is okay to feel sad. It's part of having trials and testing our ability to get through struggles in this life. We have to be tested in order to become better. Those tests help us improve and teach us to become more polished and more like Jesus Christ.

Anyway, I've said it before and I'll say it again, being a mom rocks. It's so fun, so challenging, and so rewarding. It makes my heart happy and I can't wait to feel that love grow as our family does.

With lots and lots of love,

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