Tuesday, June 11

Why I Don't Serve Others...Sometimes

K, the title is a little misleading...I do serve others, or at least I try to whenever I can. I love service and my parents are wonderful examples of it. But there are some types of service that I am reluctant to offer help with. For example, the ladies in my ward have this Facebook group where pretty much daily someone will create a post requesting help or offering it to others. And sometimes these wonderful ladies ask someone to watch their kids. 

Now, I seriously love children and I loved being Primary President in my ward for a year, but watching other people's children alone kind of freaks me out. Yes, I used to babysit all the time and that wasn't really an issue because they were kids I knew from church or the neighborhood, but it is scary to watch an infant or child that you don't know really well. You don't know how their parents want you to respond to certain situations and you don't want to do something that they wouldn't do with their child. Babies especially make me nervous. When they cry, I immediately get stressed out because I don't know how to help them. Yes, I know how to change a diaper and feed a baby. I also know the basics of trying to put a baby to sleep...but every child is so different and unless it's your own, you might not have the instincts to help in just the right way. 

I fully expect motherhood to be a challenge. But I also believe it will be a lot of fun. I was promised to have "joy in motherhood" and I am certain that for the most part, it will be a joy. Dalin and I love talking about bringing our little girl to see the places we love and getting to see the excitement she feels when we go on vacation as a family. We are so excited for the future and I definitely am looking forward with more eagerness than apprehension. And realistically, nobody knows how to be a mother their first time around. Eve had to figure it out all on her own with no examples! I can't even imagine that. At least I know how my own mom raised me and have something to go by! 

Anyway, the point I was trying to make is that I do want to help when I see these moms requesting help watching their children...I'm just too scared to offer. When I have my own kids, maybe I'll be able to say, "Sure, bring him or her over anytime!" but as of right now, I'm still too scared to do it alone. 

Does anyone else feel the same way about watching other people's children? 
Did it go away after you had kids?

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