Lovey-dovey Saturday

Last night was so weird. 

I had so many baby-related dreams that I lost track. After one of them, I woke up to re-adjust myself and suddenly felt movement in me like someone had thrown a little rubber bouncy ball in my uterus and it bounced back and forth two or three times. It was the most peculiar feeling. I was half asleep but I remember thinking, "I should wake Dalin and tell him." Then I fell asleep again before I could do anything else. 

As soon as I woke up this morning, I remembered what happened and was still unsure whether I had been dreaming or not. Now I'm guessing I was, but I remember the feeling so perfectly...Anyway, I decided to sneak past Dalin and make a decent breakfast for once. I made some pancakes and got some OJ and orange slices together and put them on a tray to bring to him in bed (he brings me breakfast in bed about once a month so it was about time I returned the favor. Plus he made me really happy by doing the dishes last night which was terrific because the smell of everything drives me crazy). I was so glad to have surprised him! 

We were both pretty exhausted and so we snuggled on the couch and watched the movies on abc like "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids," and "The Goonies," and then "The Sorcerer's Apprentice." It was fun to see some new movies (well, I had never seen "The Goonies," or the others, but I thought it was hilarious) and to rest most of the day with Dalin. After, we hurried to Macey's for groceries. Neither of us wanted to go which is why we both went (it was the only way ;) and just got everything on our list as fast as we could. 

At home, we put groceries away together and had strawberry-pineapple smoothies. I did not get as much cleaning done as I would have liked but it was pretty worth it for all the quality time Dalin and I got, plus I got lots of relaxation. I had tons of fruit today...oranges, cran-grape juice, red grapes, (the smoothie), and OJ. Not sure why that's all I wanted today, but fruit is pretty much always a winner with me. 

We found out some friends of ours are having a little girl! Our other friends are having a boy, and we know someone else who is having a girl. So where does that leave us?? We're not sure! We could even the score with a boy or go with the majority. I've finally come to the point where I would be really excited for either. I have always wanted a household of boys but now I think I would love to have a daughter to spend time with. It doesn't matter to me, I just can't wait to know! We're at 13 weeks, and we are hoping to be able to find out what we're having at week 18 when both of our moms are here so that's pretty close! Only 5 weeks! 

I'm really excited to be a mom. I wish it was August already! Even more, I can't wait to see Dalin as a daddy. He is the most tender and caring person I know and I am positive he will be the best dad. He is so loving and our sweet baby is so lucky to be getting him for a father. Plus, Dalin never gets angry. He doesn't yell, and he is really gentle, and it such a comfort to know he will be so careful with our baby. 

I hope all of you had a relaxing (and maybe more productive) Saturday! 

What did you do today? Do you have any fun Saturday traditions?
Is there something in particular you would like me to write about? 
(I am trying to make our blog more exciting!)

Did you know...

I am pregnant! Just kidding, you should definitely know that by now. But I really am pregnant--I wasn't kidding about that part! 

I have never dyed my hair. Not once. I used to want to try getting highlights when I was in high school, but my mom who knows from experience, told me, "Once you start, it's hard to stop." Wise words, I've discovered by watching my friends and acquaintances. Dalin especially should be grateful for this since it's probably saved tons of money that might have been spent on dyes, trips to the hairdresser, etc. 

I have an almost complete record of my life from the time I was 13. That's right, when I turned 13 and began to take my responsibilities in Young Women's seriously, I began writing in my journal and I haven't stopped since. I will throw it out there that it is not a perfect record. I have missed a day or two randomly. But even for those days, I would try to write at least a sentence from memory about that day. It's funny how now, when I miss a day during the week, it seems so difficult to remember the previous days. I forget what I did just the day before almost instantly. It's not a good thing, but it makes me grateful that I have a record to look back on. And there have been plenty of times where I was so glad I had thought to write a detail down. I hope that my journals (I have 28 or so of them) will prove to help my children and grandchildren someday. Whether they learn from my mistakes or just find some peace in my thoughts. 

I am pretty dang conservative. Politics, my lifestyle, my choices--other than the way I very loudly and openly voice my opinion--I am very conservative. What can I say? I like traditions. I do not apologize for that. Call me old-fashioned because I care about family values and my morality...people have and it doesn't matter to me one bit. I like the way the world was when my grandparents were kids.  It was simpler then. I am happy that I live in this day and age or I never would have the wonderful family or sweet husband that I do, but if I could pick a time to be raised, I would definitely have picked the early to mid-1900s. Something about their hardworking and humble lifestyles really appeals to me. Lots of people want me to keep my opinions about politics to myself. That isn't going to happen. I am very patriotic and I genuinely care about American and our Constitution. Do I think it is being upheld in the way our forefathers intended it to be? Not at all. By my reasoning, that gives me even more of a reason to stick up for it. 

I'm not superstitious...but I am a little stitious. Just kidding, I actually took that line from The Office. But it popped into my head and I thought it might give somebody with a good sense of humor a laugh. In reality, I am a little superstitious though. I avoid stepping on cracks when I walk, including when I'm at the mall or in a public place. I just don't make it super obvious. I think everyone has a little OCD, and that's my weird thing. I just don't want to take the chance that I really will break my mother's back (or anyone's back for that matter) by stepping on a stupid gap in the pavement or tile. Now everyone is going to watch me when I'm walking around with them. 

I do not hate anyone. I am of course human, and I have probably said that I do hate someone in frustration or in a joking manner, but truly, I do not hate anyone. That would not be very Christ-like. There are people whose views I disagree with and cruel people who I may strongly dislike, but I remind myself often that everyone is a child of God. Whether they act like it or not. One of my favorite quotes by Maya Angelou, which I have posted on our fridge reads: 

"Sometimes, when I grow frustrated with someone, I think, 'Watch yourself, that's a child of God.'"

A lot of times, I catch myself thinking something unkind about someone and I think, "Would I want someone to think that about me? How would I feel?" That usually puts an end to that. I try to love everybody. I love my Heavenly Father and I love His precious children. I love His children that are lost and do not even know it because they haven't found anything better in their lives yet. I wish I could share with them the happiness I feel as a member of the Church and help them to find that same happiness for themselves. That is why I love missionary work so much and why I share the gospel openly with anyone who is willing to hear it. Some people think that makes me weird. Well, truthfully I am weird and I know it, so I'm fine with that.

I would love to have twins. Sure it would be hard. And I don't even know if my body could handle carrying two babies at once, but I would love twin boys or one boy and a girl. My Grandpa French is a fraternal twin and apparently the fraternal twin gene is given from father to daughter. So my grandpa gave my mom that gene and she would have passed it to me. I seriously would be so excited to get twins at some point. But for now, I'm just overjoyed that I'm pregnant and that our little baby will be joining our lives in early August! 

Did you know these things about me?

Is there something I should have added?...maybe how I've been hit by lightning?

What is something unusual about you that I might not know?

Just not my thing

Anyone who knows me well enough, knows that Utah is just not my thing. I do not really enjoy living here or much about this state in general because I was raised in a place that was simply so awesome, it's sad to even compare the two. My family isn't here, and I miss the landscape and greenness of New Hampshire. But, I will say, that today was a nice day here in Utah. Don't get me wrong, it was freezing rain out and deathly slippery, and the nasty smog was trapped around us, but it was nicer than it has been in a while in my humble opinion. I like the rain. I liked that 32 degrees felt kind of warm. I liked that I was able to stay inside most of the day because of my job and that I didn't have to expose my little one to the poor air quality by being outside. It was just a better day. 

At work, we had a discussion about Utah in comparison to New Hampshire. It sounds like the majority of people involved liked or even kind of liked Utah. This came as no surprise to me. But in my defense, I am brutally honest when it comes to my personal opinions. The conversation started out innocently enough: I was just suggesting that my favorite types of pizza are all New Hampshire types. I had not even realized that that was the case until that moment, but as I listed off Pizza Express, Gilford House of Pizza, and Papa Gino's, I thought, "What the heck--none of those are out here." When someone asked me why I dislike Utah so much, my first thought was the people. Then right away I felt bad about that because I have met some wonderful people from Utah. I certainly know they are not all bad. But the culture of the Church out here is tremendously different from what I had expected and from what I'm used to. I quickly discovered this as an innocent east-coast Mormon girl on my first visit to Utah when I was a Junior in high school. I had been so excited to come to a new place and be surrounded by members and feel like I was a part of a huge LDS community. I thought that I would get to see the best parts of the Church and feel empowered from the experience. Then I came out here and the people were not what I expected. They say the Church is true, the people aren't. That proved to be the case for me during my visit. The competition within the Church out here is something that truly bothers me. Who cares about whose house is bigger or nicer? Who cares about having nicer clothes than your neighbors? Who cares about having expensive things? Why do people judge each other on their Church attendance or calling? That stuff doesn't matter! 

I was raised in a small house in the east. When I was in middle school, I was embarrassed because our house was small. It was only one story. Yet for some reason, people always just wanted to come over to my house. I did not really understand why. Most of my school friends had way bigger houses than me. I wondered why they didn't mind that my house was small. It wasn't until high school that I realized that they probably could feel the Spirit within my home. My mother kept our house extremely clean and full of good books, beautiful paintings (some Church-related, some not), and full of things to do. It was around then too that I realized I loved my home. I loved it and wanted to have one just like it someday. I realized that no one cared about the stuff we owned. When I went to the homes of my friends who similarly had small homes, I didn't judge them. That was not an important part of my upbringing. My more wealthy friends didn't judge us either. It just wasn't a big deal. 

When I think of my home ward, I think of how wonderfully strange the people are out there. And how wonderfully black and white their "status" is. No one pretends to be doing all the right things and goes to Church to put on a facade of being righteous. More than half of my ward members live in humble homes. They manage their money and do not go into debt for a home or for expensive luxury items just for show. No one would be impressed by that. There are so many peculiar people who live such different lives than the people out here. I cannot imagine a person going out to bars and drinking and then going to Church the next day. If someone chooses not to live the standards of the Church, they just don't go. They don't fake it. I was so shocked when I saw how the youth dress out here. This is supposed to be a gathering place for the Saints! We were a little strange in our high schools because we did not wear immodest clothing and so we stood out. Many people in my high school asked me, "Why are you so happy all the time?" and "It is so cool that your family is religious. I wish I had that." They would ask me about what Mormons believe in and I had so many sweet opportunities to share my testimony and give a little insight into what Latter-day Saints are really like. I brought many friends to Church, efy, Girls' Camp, and Mutual activities. I loved those missionary opportunities. It felt so good to bring a little light into the lives of those who were surrounded by moral darkness. I love those non-members. I love how imperfect they are and how much they appreciate kindness and the good they see in others. 

Since I have lived in Utah for more than a year, my insights have changed. Just a little. Yes, Utah has cool mountains and some pretty cool parks. Yes, I love how there are dozens of temples here and knowing that the prophet is nearby. And as I said, I have met many wonderful people from Utah who are just as great as one would expect for a place where there are so many Latter-day Saints all together. I am still disappointed with how many of the members choose to live when my little tiny stake in the east lives in the midst of moral chaos and still manages to follow the standards of the gospel with careful diligence. We have hardly any examples around us except each other. It is something that I truly don't understand about the culture here but I am trying to. And I accept that I do not have to feel like a part of it and that it is okay if I don't want to be. I need to make sure that I do not make assumptions about all of Utah just because my experience here has not been very positive. I will not be here forever but while I am here I need to strive to set an example and not be guilty of the judging of others that bothers me so. I am not even close to perfect. But I am thankful for my upbringing which has given me a very clear perspective of people. I love the people of this world who are just looking for something greater. They live imperfectly but they are real. I miss that about my home. 

I am not sure what the purpose of this post is. It certainly was not intended to bash Utah or the people who live or love it here. But I do think the members should know that they have it pretty good out here, and so many do not even realize it. Practice what you preach. Do not judge others. And most of all, do not compare yourself to those around you. Like I said, it does not matter who has a nicer home or more Church members in their family or fewer family problems or what your economic status is. In the eyes of our Father in Heaven, we are all equal. We are born into different situations, but we can all be the type of people we ought to if we are trying hard enough. We had better start treating each other like we are all children of God, because I know--whether you believe me or not--that all of us are.  

Do you agree with me? Or do you completely disagree?

Do you think the culture of the Church is different in Utah? 

Or maybe just different than you expected?

Growing Gunnells

If you haven't heard the news yet, we're having a baby! The little Gunnell family is finally getting a little bigger! Speaking of which, we've been doing a lot of growing lately in the Gunnell home. 

For starters, there is nothing more up close and personal than a prenatal exam...seriously, I don't think I could ever be embarrassed again. Okay, that might be an exaggeration but I really don't think (maybe with the exception of getting a pap smear) I have felt so personally "invaded" in my life thus far. It was super uncomfortable but super worth it. My doctor, Dr. Randall Pace, is wonderful. I think he is fantastic already. He is younger, friendly, and very sensitive to my concerns and feelings. He was considerate of Dalin and included him (even in some ways that I was not expecting, let's just say...) and I felt as though I was important as an individual patient and not just another number.

The most wonderful part of the appointment was when Dr. Pace told me he was going to give me a free mini ultrasound! I was so excited though admittedly nervous. That feeling never goes away no matter how reassuring an appointment is. What if there was no baby in there? Or even worse--no heartbeat. The screen on the ultrasound machine (which was like a thick tablet) was small--like the size of an iPhone. It took a second to find the baby--during which I silently freaked out--but I was so relieved when they did and better yet, we all could see the small flutterings showing us that his (or her) heart was beating!!! I was so thankful that Dalin and Mom (JeNeale) were there and that they could see it pretty clearly (I couldn't from the angle I was at). They looked at the head and little flailing arms and legs. To me, the white splotches that represented our baby looked more like a blob than a little human, but I was just so relieved to see him or her moving around that I didn't really care. 

After the appointment, I just felt so excited that we had been able to get a glimpse at our sweet lime-sized baby. Our little boy or girl was doing well and I was feeling good. I called my mom right away and let her know that everything was more than okay. 

I wish I could have a picture of that moment we first saw the baby and found her little heartbeat. But it was so special and intimate to see that tiny spirit child that in a way I want to keep that memory in my heart. I am so blessed to know that families are forever. It brings me so much comfort to know that should anything happen to our child, it will not be the end. I will have him or her for eternity no matter what. I am thankful to have been sealed to Dalin not just for time, but for all eternity, and that because of this blessing we will have each child in our family forever. 

Now all we can do is wait and pray things stay good. I cannot wait to see my little baby again! Every day I feel closer to him. I try holding really still to see if I can feel him wiggling around because at this point he can move quite a lot. Also, I am so excited to find out the gender! My mom did not find out for any of us but Dalin and I just do not have that kind of self-control. We cannot wait to know if we have a baby girl or a baby boy in there. We are hoping to find out at 18 weeks because both my mother and my mother-in-law will be around for Shaina's wedding! We thought it would be fun to have both of them involved. I am so excited. I just hope we can tell!!!

I am feeling much better than I did weeks 7-10...When the baby is hungry, she let's me know, but that's about the only time that I feel sick. I am completely exhausted but I feel like I sleep enough. Maybe more naps are in order (though it is kind of difficult to take naps when I work until 5:30, then pick up Dalin at 6:30...). I certainly feel thicker around the waist than I do normally. I'm usually pretty thin so having a belly at all--as tiny as it is--is weird for me. I am fairly certain that I've never weighed as much as I do now. My pants are definitely too tight to button. The other day at an ice skating activity I was hosting for King Henry, a girl even told me kindly, "Did you know your pants aren't buttoned?" I laughed and told her, "Yes, it's because I'm pregnant and they don't fit when they're buttoned." Then I said, "Great, probably everyone feels bad for me thinking I don't know my pants aren't buttoned up." I think since then, I've been better at hiding my unbuttoned pants though. Hopefully ;)

What techniques have you used to keep your pants up while pregnant? 
I've used a hair elastic on my buttonhole mostly, but I did try on some maternity pants which were surprisingly comfortable. I did not want to pay for a pair just yet though. I am thinking I would like to try a belly band but have not gotten around to buying one yet. 
Pregnant or not, what are your thoughts?

Updates & Exercise is Good!

Have I been terrible at this recently or what?

Well, I've certainly been busy. I work full time--every weekday--and am starting classes. Unfortunately, I do not yet have all the materials I need and have not been able to start my classes yet. But the books should be here any day now (I ordered them from Amazon and saved a ton of money!). On top of that, I am exhausted. I seriously have next to no energy. You should see our apartment... (actually you shouldn't). Dalin has been at work and class from 9am-6:45pm each day. My poor sweetheart is tired from his long days, too. 

We hate being apart from each other for close to ten hours of the day. It doesn't leave much time for talking, playing, laughing, and snuggling which are our favorite things to do together. But we make sure we read our scriptures together each night and take turns saying a family prayer. I am so grateful that we both can work at this time and prepare and save for our future family. I know we will be so thankful for the things we are enduring now.

Sneak peak at our Christmas pics!

Today I went to my first indoor cycling class at 9am. I had to park stinking far because the parking lot by the indoor practice facility is full of psychos. The classroom is very narrow, plain, and loud due to the sound of several bike gears moving, the music blasting, and the fans set up at the front and back of the room. I could barely hear the instructor who acknowledged me when I entered. I had to yell that I wanted to add the class and then when he couldn't hear me, some girl repeated it louder.

I still am not technically in the class...yet. But since there were empty bikes, he told me to stay. I picked a bike in the back and figured out how to adjust it at various points during the class period. It was pretty fun--cycling while listening to the instructor's music and getting told to try different pedaling positions and stuff. My only complaint was that the bike seat was KILLING me. It was seriously SO uncomfortable on my butt! After, I felt like I had been sitting on a huge, rough rock with my bare butt for several hours. 

Later, I left work for thirty minutes to get a flu shot at the Student Health Center. I was so freaked out for it because in the past I have nearly fainted after getting it. I tried to be prepared by bringing some cold water to sip while I was waiting. When the nice, nice lady called me in, I told her I was nervous and she was so sympathetic. I rolled my sleeve up just past my elbow but she told me I needed to roll it all the way to the top of my shoulder. I wasn't sure why but I looked away as she talked to me and when she put it in my shoulder I was so incredibly relieved. Shoulder shots are nothing. I hate getting needles in the crook of my elbow though. I was so happy afterward and the sweet lady gave me crackers and an apple juice box before I left just in case I felt lightheaded. Needless to say, I was very happy it was over with, and was therefore in a great mood when I returned to work.

The end of the day always goes by so fast. I hurried home and picked up the house as much as I could before I had to go get Dalin. It was one of the first night's in a while I had the energy to clean up at all. I hate having a messy house but sometimes, other things in life take priority. It is definitely better than it was. We still have a few things strewn around that need to be put away, but for the most part, I am just satisfied that I got a few things done!

Maybe it's the exercise (it probably is) but I'm in a surprisingly good mood!  I think I will go to bed early tonight so I can get 9 or so hours of sleep. That is, after I give my cute husband a great big kiss ;)