Tuesday, May 7

Mini Breakdown: Pregnancy Stress

Last night, out of nowhere, I had a mini breakdown. 

Normally that isn't something I would want to admit but I felt I had a good reason. 

After reading some stupid article on a pregnancy website, I started to panic about giving birth. Not being a mom per se, but actually having the baby. Obviously I knew it was inevitable these whole six months and I guess I had seemed okay with it before, but that stupid article got me to start over-thinking things and I freaked out. I called my home, my dad answered, and when I began crying he handed the phone off to mom. 

Luckily, my mom comforted me a million times over. She reminded me that billions of women have done it and many didn't even have any type of epidural or good medical help. She reminded me about those moms that have lots and lots of kids and said that they wouldn't do it if it wasn't worth it. She said that every single woman gets scared at some point beforehand and it's completely normal to be worried. She also told me that her contractions were like really bad menstrual cramps except instead of being continual, they only last about 15 seconds and you have breaks in between. Since I can relate to that, that was very comforting to me. She told me I will probably have an advantage over a lot of girls because I have had such bad cramps before (bad enough that I had to miss school and other things because I was curled up in a ball) and they aren't much different than that. She also reminded me that the end result makes it all worth it--at least you have a sweet and new little baby in the end! 

My mom also reminded me that while still in the hospital after having me, she said, "I could do that again." I guess it must be worth it if she could say that not too long after having a baby. 

As we were talking, I kept asking Mom things like, "Which was worse, breaking a bone or having a baby?" She said breaking a bone. I guess that was kind of a pointless question since I have never broken a bone before and can't relate to that kind of pain, but it definitely comforted me because that sounds SUPER painful to me. We talked for a long time and when I finally stopped crying, I felt much better. 

Today I am feeling much more positive about things. My mom suggested I find a birthing class to sign up for and begin attending classes asap. She told me I could get a blessing beforehand if I was scared. And on my own, I've decided I am not going to read so many pregnancy articles...especially any that are negative or scary. They just bring a lot of unnecessary stress.

Finally, when I spoke on the phone with my grandmother this morning, she reminded me that God doesn't give us more than we can handle and that I will be just fine. I just need to have faith. 

What was your biggest apprehension about giving birth? How did you get over it?
If you had a surprisingly positive experience, will you tell me about it? (I don't really want to hear any scary parts...for obvious reasons)


  1. I was super scared too just about everything, but when I got admitted, I just had to have the mind set of 'take things one at a time' and that helped a ton. It was like okay, get the IV - which I was also nervous about. But that made it easier for me. And now, I remember that it was hard, but I don't remember any pain because my baby makes up for everything. I was also comforted by women telling me my body was made to do it and I would be okay.

  2. Your mom is a smart woman! I was so scared. My threshold for pain has never been very high, in my opinion, so I was worried. I didn't listen to or read negative stories anymore - they affected me too much. The best thing I think was when I read the book, "Hypnobirthing : the Mongan Method". I didn't do Hypnobirthing, but this book taught me so much about my body and how it works, more than any other book out there, and it really empowered me and gave me strength, peace, and relaxation. To tell you the truth, the worst part about labor is right now - what both you and I are going through right now. It's the waiting and worrying and wondering and fearing. I've even done this before and the anxiety is coming back! It's really the worst part of all. Once those labor pains come, you will feel a ton of pressure and everything, but you will also be overcome with sheer joy and happiness and excitement to meet your baby! Heavenly Father created our bodies amazingly! For some reason our brains can only focus on a few things at once, so in labor, oftentimes the excitement and anticipation of that new baby overpowers much of the physical pain. When I look back on my natural birth, I can honestly say that I do not remember the pain at all. The oxytocin hormone released in my body was so overpowering that all I can remember is excitement and love. Once you are in the thick of it all you really don't focus on the pain so much, but seeing your baby and focusing on your body's cues. Once your baby is there, the pain is GONE. I tore pretty bad (my biggest fear) in two places and right after Mary was born, the midwife was stitching me up and I couldn't feel a thing. I was holding Mary and nothing else registered in my mind! It's wonderful! Your body is pretty amazing and it will take care of you - trust in your body! (And read that book - you can borrow it from me!) Another anticipation I had was that I had never had menstrual cramps in my life, so I was worried that everything would be so intense. But I was totally fine. Those Braxton hicks contractions that you are probably experiencing by now are so great at preparing your uterus for real contractions. When you have the Braxton hicks contractions, be happy! Your body is doing its job to make your labor easier!

    1. This is so, so comforting to me, Emily. My sister-in-law said the same thing--she thinks the actual pregnancy is worse than the delivering. She was also sick for much of it and I fortunately have not been. I have had a great pregnancy so far so that is really good news for me. Someone else told me about that book, too. I think I really would like to borrow it. My mom said what you said, too--that you get anxiety for every child. My biggest fear is tearing actually, too. That was the part of the article that made me start to cry. It sounds just terrible. My mom said it happened for one of us and she didn't even notice that or when they gave her stitches. I think she is like you--she was too excited to have the baby to think about anything else.
      And that sounds just like how my menstrual cramps used to be so I probably will have an advantage if the feeling is anything like it. This is really comforting to me! I feel like I can do it. I have only experienced what I can assume are Braxton Hicks contractions a few times randomly but they haven't really bothered me yet. Thank you very much for your advice, Emily!!!!!


I absolutely love to hear from you & will reply if I can!