Monday, September 29

I'm So Glad I Married You.

I wrote this last night (and finished it today). 

Dear Dalin, 

You've been at work since 3pm yesterday and won't be home until 11pm tonight. In that time I thought I'd be getting all kinds of things done. I thought the house would be perfectly clean and that I'd have gotten some homework done. I thought I'd have been enlightened by Women's Conference and had a relaxing time at church. 

But Tenley quickly undid any cleaning I attempted, and wanted to play with me and eat all afternoon. I had no time to read for my schoolwork. The dishes went undone, the kitchen table and counters stayed dirty, the clothes remained in piles, the laundry unwashed, the couch and floors cluttered. Women's Conference was great, but Tenley needed constant attention which meant I didn't recall as much as I wanted to. Then doing church alone was harder than ever. Tenley was all over the place during Relief Society and I was exhausted from chasing her. (Thank goodness for those heaven-sent women in our ward who stopped and helped me keep an eye on Tenley and distracted her for me). By the time sacrament came around, I was ready to take it and get out of there. Tenley wouldn't let us sit in the chapel for even a minute. (Again, thank goodness for Paige who took Tenley out for me so I could sit still and listen). 

At home, Tenley miraculously fell asleep in the rocking chair with very little effort. I took that time to rest and relax (and recover) and missed you immensely. When you stopped at home to grab a few things and say hello, I was so happy to see you and cried when you left. I was so tired of being away from you and just wanted you to stay which I told you a few times. After your mom and Grammy visited with me for a while (which was the perfect distraction I needed) and eating the dinner they brought, it was a relief to put Tenley down for bedtime and wait for you to come home. 

When you finally did get home, you greeted me with a hug and a kiss but had a lot of homework to catch up on before your classes tomorrow. I was sad that you couldn't come right to bed so we could snuggle and talk, but just having you home made it so much easier for me to sleep. 

This morning, I woke up tired and grumpy from Tenley whining for me to get up and help her. I wanted to be cheerful and have the energy to do it but I just couldn't feel that way when I was so exhausted. I grumbled at you as I finally got out of bed to change her stinky diaper and supply her with milk and some cereal. But as I was doing those things, and finally starting to wash the dishes while I fried some bacon, I remembered the reason I was doing those things at all. I was doing them for you, for Tenley, for our family. I was doing them because I chose you and because I love you more than anything. 

I want you to know I am so grateful for you. I am grateful for your patience with me. I am grateful that you are understanding. I can only get up and do those hard things because I love you so much. You are my motivation to keep going. I am thankful that I married you. I am thankful that you are a hard worker. I am thankful that you love our babies so much. I am thankful for your testimony and example. And I am especially thankful that you love me enough to forgive me even when I do the same silly things over and over (like complain about things that don't bother you at all;). I am thankful that I can talk to you and that you listen to me. I am thankful for your advice and your confidence in me even when I have none in myself.

I just wanted to tell you these things because I don't say them enough. I think them often but I assume you already know. But I can't expect you to be a mind-reader all the time (even if we are that in sync;). I love you and I hope you feel that or at least always know it in spite of my silly frustrations and nagging. Like I said, you are so inspiringly patient and it means so much to me that you still love me even in my most imperfect moments.

Thanks for being a true best friend to me. I am so glad we get to keep working on this friendship and love we share forever and ever. 

I love you, Dalin!

Your little dear, 
Things to plan for in the coming months:

Finish my Independent Study course (and start another?:/)
Make Thanksgiving plans
-Where are we going? (Boise or Arizona?)
-What am I making this year??
Make Christmas plans
-Where are we going? (Boise?)
-Who do we have for the gift exchange?
Decide on Christmas do, or not to do...
Last-minute baby boy preparations! (And possible arrival, but I doubt it!)
Baby boy's birth!!!
Dalin's 25th birthday!
Valentine's Day <3

1 comment:

  1. My husband is a Sheriff's Deputy and often works 80+ hour weeks. I often feel how you seem to feel, tired, frustrated, lonely, and then I look at my blue eyed little girl and know that it's all for something. It's all for him, even if he never sees the clean house it was clean for a minute or two. It's all for her, even if she is just 2 and has no idea what clean is. Most of all it's all for our Father in Heaven, for whom we live our lives.


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