Post-Partum Weirdness: Reflecting on My First Pregnancy

I have a confession. And it will surely weird some people out. But I want to talk about it, so here it is:

Not only did I love being pregnant, but I loved giving birth. 

K, now feel free to call me odd, but even with four hours of pushing a little human person (with a huge head!) out of a place that does not quite seem big enough to do so, in a very weird--possibly sadistic--way, I enjoyed it. I can already hear some of you: What is she smoking? Well, trust me--I'm not smoking anything and I'd like to think I'm quite sound of mind, but it's true. Hear me out--

I had a very easy first pregnancy. I mean, complaints from previous posts aside, I look back and think, "Geez, that was nothing." And really, they weren't. If occasional discomfort is the trade for growing a little person that can make you happier than you ever dreamed, you'd think so too. I never threw up or had anything out-of-the-ordinary happen, and my doctor basically confirmed each visit that my pregnancy was what the medical world would label completely average. I had all the typical worries of a first-time mom, including (but not limited to) fear of miscarriage, fear of labor, and fear of being a crappy mom--but I got to the point where I realized that worrying did me NO good. Finally, I told myself that whatever is supposed to happen, will happen, and as long as I'm doing the best I can, it'll work out. If my child is supposed to live, she will. Take a deep breath and have faith.

Giving birth was hard. Like, the hardest thing I've ever done. But it felt like a kind of challenge--a good one. Having a baby (like actually giving birth) was, in a weird way, a high for me that I've never experienced before (obviously, but you know what I mean). It was invigorating. My feelings about this weren't instant...but it wasn't very long after having Tenley that I felt energized in an unexpected way. And it wasn't just adrenaline (because that does kick in when one is essentially trying to push a bowling ball out of a gum-ball machine). It was more than that--I felt like I had accomplished my potential as a woman. I did something that fewer than half of people alive today can do. I made a person! Not single-handedly, but let's be honest, I did most of the work in that respect.

I am no feminist, but if I were, I can tell you that more than anything else, having a baby helped me feel the measure of my creation. In other words, I'm glad I'm a woman. I'm glad God chose us to carry and deliver and raise his most precious beings.

And I want to do it again. 

See?? Look how happy I look! Of course this was also right after I'd gotten the epidural, but...

True happiness is holding your new baby.

Being a new mom has been amazing. Tenley has been really easy on me so far. She cries and wakes me up and poops a LOT like every baby, but based on the complaints I hear some mothers making, I have it super easy. My body, at three months post-partum, is almost completely back to what it was before I got pregnant, which I certainly never expected (and which I know is NOT the experience for most women--breastfeeding was the key for me if you're wondering! If you can do it, DO!). I've finally established some form of a normal routine again. But most important of all: I'm happy. She's happy. Husband's happy. Life is good--to put it mildly. And this happiness I've never felt is so great that I want to share it. And feed it. By adding more humans to our family.

And while I'm thinking about it--right here, right now, I'm vowing NOT to look at useless advice on the Internet for child #2. Seriously, 92.5% of what I read was--there's no other way to say it--complete CRAP, at least for me. It didn't apply to me or my situation, and nothing that the millions of ladies on the motherhood/pregnancy chats said, happened to me. My personal situation was unique. If you're a woman, your personal situation will be unique. Or your wife's will be. If and when the time comes, trust your instincts and motherly intuition, and more than anything TRUST GOD. He loves you. He cares about you and your worries. Like this pin says:

Does anyone feel the same way? 

In a weird way did you like giving birth?

Anyone disagree?

Chair Up-Cycle

I'm writing this post because several people have asked me what I did to give some old chairs a new look, and it was so easy, I just had to share!

When we got married, Dalin's Grammy gave us some awesome, sturdy antique chairs to go along with our antique kitchen table--which was fantastic--especially because I love antiques. We used the chairs for a year as they were, but then I got a little bit tired of looking at the worn pink velvety fabric mixed with maroon-brown. Pretty, right?

So I decided I would give them a make-over with the help of my mom when she came and visited me last December before Christmas. The first thing we did was choose colors. My favorite colors are aqua blue, green, and mustard yellow, so that was easy. We went to Lowe's and with the help of someone in the paint section, chose a can of primer and had them mix three sample sizes of our chosen colors, which were only $3 each! They looked just like the ones in the picture below.

Once we had our paint samples, we drove the Home Fabrics store and chose three different fabrics that would go well with the colors I'd selected and also look good with each other. We bought a yard or so of each, and then headed home to get to work! (We had also picked up a small, inexpensive staple gun while at Lowe's). 

At home, we took the chairs apart one by one. We flipped the chairs over and removed the screws to release the seat part, then I started priming the base of the chair. I set my mom to work, re-upholstering the seat. We decided to leave the pink fabric on underneath ours for extra padding. 

Here is the before picture of two of the chairs. The seats didn't match which annoyed me a little (especially since they were two different shades of pink)--though of course the covers I chose don't technically match either ;)

I covered the kitchen table with brown paper and started painting the primer on (you can see the chair in the background that I set on the stovetop to dry is fully primed). I'm not gonna lie--just priming kind of took a while, but my mom and I were excited to see them done, so we spent all evening and late into the night priming and painting.  

Here I am, just about ready to start painting the first chair! (Also, I was one month pregnant here btw)

Here is the final product! The aqua chair:

The green chair:

The mustard chair:

We keep two sitting at the table (because that's all we have room for really in our tiny kitchen) and one nearby for when we have someone visiting. Also, notice how nice our newly stained kitchen table looks! My mom did that for me while she was here last December since I was pregnant and the fumes can be dangerous. I think she did a pretty marvelous job! 

What do you think of our project?
Could we have done anything differently?
Do you have any old chairs or furniture to up-cycle/paint/re-upholster?

Let me know if you decide to do it yourself!

Bragging: My Super Successful Week

I need to brag for a minute. Very rarely do I say this (in fact, I'm not sure I've ever actually said it...), but I am proud of myself this week. I got so much accomplished and it feels really good:

My mom and I cleaned the apartment, 

I had a much-needed teeth cleaning at the dentist (I promise I brush and floss!), 

We had our car serviced, washed, and cleaned (tire rotation, oil change, vacuumed, etc.), 

I got a doctor's appointment out of the way, 

I completed our Medicaid application, 

Tenley and I went to our first WIC appointment,
Drove through Nebo Loop and took family pictures,

I wrote an essay for English, 

I went to the temple with Dalin (which made me SO happy!),

& I spent time with my mom, husband, daughter, and brother and sister-in-law! 

I would say it's been a successful week! I'm pretty glad that it's over though...a lot of stressful things (and some fun) all combined into six days. Still, I think next year I will do the same and plan one get-everything-done week. None of it would have been possible without my mom being here though. I'm so grateful she was able to watch Tenley and motivate me to accomplish all that I was able to. I guess she'll just have to do the same next year, too! ;)

Have you ever taken a week and gotten a bunch of stressful things out of the way?
If not, you should try it!

Mad at My Husband

I'm so mad at Dalin right now. Before you stop reading, I am not in the habit of talking bad about my husband so it's safe to assume I'm not really that mad.

But I am frustrated with him and I will explain why. It is impossible to surprise him. Every single time I want to do something nice for him or have an awesome gift idea for Christmas or his birthday or just for a special surprise, he somehow ruins it. And I'll be honest, usually it's because I'm a terrible liar so if he asks me whether I got him something or not, he can always tell that I'm fibbing.

I can't tell you how many times I have been so excited about a cool gift for him, then a month or a week or two before the big day, Dalin will say, "Hmm, I'd really like one of these" (referring to something I've already bought for him) then he'll look at me all slyly and ask if we can buy one. And I, being the awful liar that I am, will unintentionally tell him I've already gotten it for him by the look on my face. Ugh. He can get anything out of me and he knows it, too.

That's why I was so frustrated today because, for the last few days I've been looking for a nice, nice watch to get Dalin for Christmas, but right before he left for work today he suddenly says, "Dear, there's this nice watch on Amazon that's on sale for their Deal of the Day."

I thought, "Are you kidding me," and looked at the watch, (92% off! It went from $595 to $50!) which is perfect and even though I'm annoyed that Dalin knows about it, I ordered it. This one right here.

Now ladies, go get one for your husband before he figures out all of his Christmas gifts.

Are you good at surprising your husband? Or do you two, like us, have the same brain making surprises practically impossible?

My Dream Job

Being a mom is my dream job. I'm serious. And you think you like kids now? Wait until you have your own (it's infinitely better). I love children, but Tenley is a highlight in my every day life now. Her existence alone makes me feel so incredibly happy and grateful that I have been given the opportunity to be her mom. She causes me to love my role as a mother so much that I can't help but look forward to having more babies that I hope are as wonderful (and amazingly easy!!) as their eldest sister has been. Sure it has its challenges like any job--but they are immensely worth it. And though changing diapers and getting spit up or pooped on are never fun, it's definitely better when it's your own child. (Don't worry, you'll learn it's better to laugh about it rather than get upset that it happened.)

Motherhood, like marriage, is sacred. Because of this, like any other sacred topic, it is being attacked in today's world. Motherhood is degraded, looked down upon, and called too great a sacrifice for the modernized women of today. While it is a sacrifice, it is not as many people now believe, one that is not worthwhile. The benefits and blessings are endless. What could possibly be more important than raising a new generation of children that are prepared to tackle every challenge that this increasingly evil world throws at them? I can't think of anything. Those people who constantly complain or preach that the world is messed up and ask the question, "who would want to bring children in it?" have zero perspective. People are going to have children anyway, and it is therefore important that these precious children have loving parents--and especially a devoted mother--to teach and instruct them. I love this inspired talk by our last prophet in these latter days, President Gordon B. Hinckley, called "Your Greatest Challenge, Mother". It really emphasizes the precious nature of a mother's role.

Who wouldn't love to stare at this pretty face all day??

If you look down on motherhood or mothers in any way, stop. Stop it now. Have some gratitude for your own mother and read these quotes by two of our most famous former presidents of the United States of America.

My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.
~George Washington

All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
~Abraham Lincoln

Being a mom is so much fun. If I had known how happy it would make me, I'd have begged Dalin to have children sooner. I can't say I would trade this role for any other job in the world. But if I were capable of being a mother and something else, well, there are a number of things that interest me.

An editor (You should already know all about this one--I love to read and I love to improve people's work--and I would love it if I could read all day!)
A good writer (Writing daily in my journal and frequently on this blog have only served to increase this desire. But being a writer is easy. It's being a good writer that is the hard part)
An artist
An English, Spanish, or Art teacher
A tennis coach
An interior designer 
A movie director

Do any of those surprise you?

I always used to want to be an interior designer until one day in middle school gym class, I remember the class going around in a circle naming off our dream job and like five girls said interior designer, so then I didn't want to do it anymore.

I don't know all that being a movie director entails, but I know that when I am coming up with an idea for a book I'd like to write, I am always imagining the scene as though it were a movie and I think it would be fun to make my own movie (or one that I would want to watch).

What is your dream job and why?