Sunday, February 24

Be Not Dismayed!

I do not enjoy worrying (who does?) but no matter how much I remind myself that it's hopeless to do so, I cannot help but do it anyway. Almost constantly. So here is what I am going to do. I am going to write out the things bothering, and decide which are imminent, which can be avoided, and which things I have no control over anyway. 

I worry the baby will not get enough nutrients and 
that I won't gain the suggested amount of weight for 
a healthy baby. 
Obviously, I can control what I eat which will help
determine which nutrients the baby gets but other than 
that, there is little I can do to ensure that the baby is
healthy. So I will just do what I can, eat right, 
be careful, and pray for a healthy son or daughter.

I worry I will have regrets when my grandpa is gone. 

What if there is something only he knows that I
never found out? What stories will be lost? This is
why I have asked my mom to start recording some 
of Grandpa's best stories now and why I've been 
having her ask him about our heritage more often
than usual. Just yesterday I had her ask him 
to explain how exactly we are related to John
and Samuel Adams. He already knows how much 
he is loved by I need to turn my focus to him. He 
is worried he won't be remembered by the younger
 grandchildren. I promise him that I will make sure 
they will remember him. 

I worry that life will get in the way and I won't finish school. 

I only  have 13 classes left! If I wasn't working
and having a baby, I would finish by December, but now,
I'll be lucky if I finish by 2015. I only need to take 
2 more classes on campus and then I can do the rest
Independent Study, but I just can't figure out how to work 
my schedule. I need to just chill and realize it will work out
but my family is my priority and then work (but only 
because no money = no house, no car, no school) and 
sometimes it just feels hopeless. I know myself so I know 
I will find a way to finish but it's hard to feel like 
it will ever finally end.

I worry that after having the baby we will be flat broke.

How will we be able to pay for our apartment and car
if I'm not working full-time? There is nothing more important
 to me than making sure our baby is well-cared for and breast-fed
but we can't live off of our savings for a full year...all I need to 
do though is remind myself that somehow it will work out and 
we will get by no matter how difficult the decision may be right now.

I worry that by wanting so badly to fast-forward our lives 
right now, I will miss the good things that are happening. 

Somehow I will try to be more positive. I will try to enjoy 
our lives now and live more in the moment. Though it is
important to plan for the future, it is also important not to 
get caught living only for the future.

Those images are some words that bring me comfort. 
What brings you comfort? What suggestions do you have for me?

1 comment:

  1. Olivia! I love your blog! I think your worries totally explain how I feel a lot of times too! I was also worried about not gaining enough weight when I was pregnant. When I was 9 months pregnant, people always told me that I looked like I was 6 months pregnant. I was worried! But our baby was healthy as can be! I also worry often about money. I haven't been working which I was ever sooo worried about! But, I have found that the Lord always provides for those who are trying to take care of His children. We have gotten so many things for free and the timing of it all was just insane. I knew that Heavenly Father would take care of us! We started to run out of money, and then the Lord by a miracle helped us to earn more in a very unexpected way! I know that He will take care of you too for your faith to have a baby during this unknowing time. You're amazing Olivia! And you are going to be such a great mom!!
    Love, Tiffany :)


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