Just not my thing

Anyone who knows me well enough, knows that Utah is just not my thing. I do not really enjoy living here or much about this state in general because I was raised in a place that was simply so awesome, it's sad to even compare the two. My family isn't here, and I miss the landscape and greenness of New Hampshire. But, I will say, that today was a nice day here in Utah. Don't get me wrong, it was freezing rain out and deathly slippery, and the nasty smog was trapped around us, but it was nicer than it has been in a while in my humble opinion. I like the rain. I liked that 32 degrees felt kind of warm. I liked that I was able to stay inside most of the day because of my job and that I didn't have to expose my little one to the poor air quality by being outside. It was just a better day. 

At work, we had a discussion about Utah in comparison to New Hampshire. It sounds like the majority of people involved liked or even kind of liked Utah. This came as no surprise to me. But in my defense, I am brutally honest when it comes to my personal opinions. The conversation started out innocently enough: I was just suggesting that my favorite types of pizza are all New Hampshire types. I had not even realized that that was the case until that moment, but as I listed off Pizza Express, Gilford House of Pizza, and Papa Gino's, I thought, "What the heck--none of those are out here." When someone asked me why I dislike Utah so much, my first thought was the people. Then right away I felt bad about that because I have met some wonderful people from Utah. I certainly know they are not all bad. But the culture of the Church out here is tremendously different from what I had expected and from what I'm used to. I quickly discovered this as an innocent east-coast Mormon girl on my first visit to Utah when I was a Junior in high school. I had been so excited to come to a new place and be surrounded by members and feel like I was a part of a huge LDS community. I thought that I would get to see the best parts of the Church and feel empowered from the experience. Then I came out here and the people were not what I expected. They say the Church is true, the people aren't. That proved to be the case for me during my visit. The competition within the Church out here is something that truly bothers me. Who cares about whose house is bigger or nicer? Who cares about having nicer clothes than your neighbors? Who cares about having expensive things? Why do people judge each other on their Church attendance or calling? That stuff doesn't matter! 

I was raised in a small house in the east. When I was in middle school, I was embarrassed because our house was small. It was only one story. Yet for some reason, people always just wanted to come over to my house. I did not really understand why. Most of my school friends had way bigger houses than me. I wondered why they didn't mind that my house was small. It wasn't until high school that I realized that they probably could feel the Spirit within my home. My mother kept our house extremely clean and full of good books, beautiful paintings (some Church-related, some not), and full of things to do. It was around then too that I realized I loved my home. I loved it and wanted to have one just like it someday. I realized that no one cared about the stuff we owned. When I went to the homes of my friends who similarly had small homes, I didn't judge them. That was not an important part of my upbringing. My more wealthy friends didn't judge us either. It just wasn't a big deal. 

When I think of my home ward, I think of how wonderfully strange the people are out there. And how wonderfully black and white their "status" is. No one pretends to be doing all the right things and goes to Church to put on a facade of being righteous. More than half of my ward members live in humble homes. They manage their money and do not go into debt for a home or for expensive luxury items just for show. No one would be impressed by that. There are so many peculiar people who live such different lives than the people out here. I cannot imagine a person going out to bars and drinking and then going to Church the next day. If someone chooses not to live the standards of the Church, they just don't go. They don't fake it. I was so shocked when I saw how the youth dress out here. This is supposed to be a gathering place for the Saints! We were a little strange in our high schools because we did not wear immodest clothing and so we stood out. Many people in my high school asked me, "Why are you so happy all the time?" and "It is so cool that your family is religious. I wish I had that." They would ask me about what Mormons believe in and I had so many sweet opportunities to share my testimony and give a little insight into what Latter-day Saints are really like. I brought many friends to Church, efy, Girls' Camp, and Mutual activities. I loved those missionary opportunities. It felt so good to bring a little light into the lives of those who were surrounded by moral darkness. I love those non-members. I love how imperfect they are and how much they appreciate kindness and the good they see in others. 

Since I have lived in Utah for more than a year, my insights have changed. Just a little. Yes, Utah has cool mountains and some pretty cool parks. Yes, I love how there are dozens of temples here and knowing that the prophet is nearby. And as I said, I have met many wonderful people from Utah who are just as great as one would expect for a place where there are so many Latter-day Saints all together. I am still disappointed with how many of the members choose to live when my little tiny stake in the east lives in the midst of moral chaos and still manages to follow the standards of the gospel with careful diligence. We have hardly any examples around us except each other. It is something that I truly don't understand about the culture here but I am trying to. And I accept that I do not have to feel like a part of it and that it is okay if I don't want to be. I need to make sure that I do not make assumptions about all of Utah just because my experience here has not been very positive. I will not be here forever but while I am here I need to strive to set an example and not be guilty of the judging of others that bothers me so. I am not even close to perfect. But I am thankful for my upbringing which has given me a very clear perspective of people. I love the people of this world who are just looking for something greater. They live imperfectly but they are real. I miss that about my home. 

I am not sure what the purpose of this post is. It certainly was not intended to bash Utah or the people who live or love it here. But I do think the members should know that they have it pretty good out here, and so many do not even realize it. Practice what you preach. Do not judge others. And most of all, do not compare yourself to those around you. Like I said, it does not matter who has a nicer home or more Church members in their family or fewer family problems or what your economic status is. In the eyes of our Father in Heaven, we are all equal. We are born into different situations, but we can all be the type of people we ought to if we are trying hard enough. We had better start treating each other like we are all children of God, because I know--whether you believe me or not--that all of us are.  

Do you agree with me? Or do you completely disagree?

Do you think the culture of the Church is different in Utah? 

Or maybe just different than you expected?